A few of years ago, I went to the Balthazar restaurant in the Lower East Side. I noticed a few playing cards stapled to the ceiling and asked the waitress what the deal was. She rolled her eyes and said, "That David Blaine guy was in here. That's a prop for one of his tricks." Blasphemy!

Well, Mr. staples-cards-to-the-ceiling is in the middle of filming his latest horseshit special where he lights himself on fire hanging 60 stories upside down above a cobra pit for a month or something where he will reveal another trick featuring big-punching extraordinaire Kimbo Slice. Reportedly, Blaine takes a gut punch from Kimbo and Fanhouse's football scribe and resident MMA freak Michael David Smith has the details (via Fightlinker):

The rather physically fit Blaine claims he chose Kimbo because the fighter is one of the few people he fears. From my observation, it does not seem as if the magician is intimidated in conversation. But faced with Kimbo's clenched fist before him, Blaine does look visibly nervous. He asks his audience of gym employees and Kimbo's entourage, "Is this stupid?" Everyone grinned widely back.

I won't spoil the fun but there's no illusion involved to this bit. David Blaine simply stands in the middle of the cage, lifts up his shirt to prove he's not hiding any protective material, and asks Kimbo to punch him. And after? Kimbo is wowed by David Blaine's resistance to his gut shot. Kimbo's manager jokingly asks, "Hey, is this going to make Kimbo look weak?" I don't think so. And I hope after this, Blaine checks in with a doctor.

Kimbo Slice Punches David Blaine In The Gut [Fanhouse]

PHOTO: Fightlinker's Flickr

Thankfully, the NBA has answered this yawning douche gap by filming a commercial for the NBA Finals starring the one and only David Blaine. He put together his commercial at the Wachovia Center in Philadelphia over the weekend.

We can't imagine what the commercial's gimmick will be — we've got even money that Stuart Scott is somehow involved — but we guarantee you it will make you hate everything about the NBA Finals come June.

Seriously, though: The NBA really does need more magic, doesn't it? To steal a phrase from Blaine's official site, "what the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly." Totally!

David Blaine Loves This Game [iTricks]
DavidBlaine.com [Official Site]