dc-united Page index.xml - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Who the fuck are St. Louis City SC and who the fuck do they think they are?
The pattern of a first-year MLS club is pretty well set by now. Team gets announced, we all joke about the league being a Ponzi scheme (still might be!), they begin play in a stadium that looks fun as hell in front of raucous crowds, and then kind of eat it for most of the season. Maybe they pick it...
Old Man Wayne Rooney's MLS Tenure Ended With A Spectacular Postseason Meltdown
It was no surprise that Old Man Wayne Rooney was involved in his team’s last-gasp equalizer, as saving DC United has been a bit of a theme for him throughout his MLS career. Deep into injury time, the ex-Manchester United star whipped a cross from a corner to teammate Frédéric Brillant, who flicked ...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Is Sick Of These Damn Refs And All This Damn Traveling
Old Man Wayne Rooney’s MLS stint is just about done. At the conclusion of this season he’ll leave DC United to become a player-manager for Derby County back in England. Perhaps this is a good time for him to make an exit from American soccer, because he seems pretty fed up with the whole enterprise ...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Will Leave MLS To Be A Player-Coach At Derby County
It looks like Wayne Rooney’s vacation in the United States will only last 18 months. Derby County manager Phillip Cocu confirmed, per the Guardian, on Tuesday that the 33-year-old Englishman will be moving back across the Atlantic in January to join Derby as a player-coach....
Alejandro Bedoya Scores Goal, Calls For Congress To "End Gun Violence"
During the goal celebration after he scored in today’s D.C. United-Philadelphia Union match, Union midfielder Alejandro Bedoya picked up a pitch-side microphone and said into it,“Hey Congress, do something, now! End gun violence!”:...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Scores A Goal From A Million Billion Miles Away
Wayne Rooney has done some cool stuff with D.C. United, in Major League Soccer. He did a lovely free kick goal. He virtually single-handedly dragged the United to the MLS playoffs. An insane two-way highlight from last August was rightly hailed as maybe the best MLS highlight ever. I hereby submit ...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Got His Shit Wrecked
While he may not be carving up defense in MLS like he was during the second half of last season anymore, old man Wayne Rooney is still one of the league’s top scoring threats and teams are still figuring out the best way to stop him. The latest creative attempt came from New England Revolution keepe...
Cops: Wayne Rooney Speaking "Broken English" When Arrested For Public Intoxication
We learned a couple weeks ago that Old Man Wayne Rooney got popped with a public intoxication charge at Dulles International Airport in December. What we didn’t know then was what exactly it was about the twisted-off-his-ass Rooney that attracted the cops’ attention. We do know now. And it involves ...
![Old Man Wayne Rooney Was Arrested At Dulles Airport For Something Called "Public Intoxication/Swearing" [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/peebc4tykpmxbjgw7sbe.jpg)
Old Man Wayne Rooney Was Arrested At Dulles Airport For Something Called "Public Intoxication/Swearing" [Update]
D.C. United captain and former Premier League champion Wayne Rooney was arrested in Dulles International Airport by Metropolitan Washington Airports Authority Police in December on charges of “public intoxication/swearing.” His case was taken to Loudoun General District Court, the county where the a...
DC United's Nick DeLeon Scores Clutch Game-Tying Goal, Then Chokes Away Decisive Penalty Kick
Well this was all very dramatic. DC United were down 2–1 in the 116th minute of Thursday night’s knockout round match against Columbus Crew, until Nick DeLeon ripped home a clutch equalizer from the edge of the box off a blown clearance....
Old Man Wayne Rooney Has Officially Dragged D.C. United Into The Playoffs
Three months after sitting at the bottom of the MLS’s Eastern Conference playoff race, D.C. United have secured a playoff spot, thanks to the efforts of Old Man Wayne Rooney. He scored two goals in today’s 3-1 victory against NYCFC to make the postseason berth official....
Old Man Wayne Rooney Adds Ridiculous Free-Kick Goal To MLS Highlight Reel
Former Manchester United star Wayne Rooney’s first season in MLS was already a huge success before last night’s game against Toronto. He came into it with nine goals and seven assists in 18 appearances, and as the owner of one of the best soccer highlights you’ll ever see. In the 18th minute of last...
D.C. United Ball Boy Does His Job A Little Too Well
There was a lot to like in D.C. United’s 4-1 win over the Portland Timbers Wednesday night, namely the continued resurgence of old man Wayne Rooney, who scored two goals, including one extremely sweet free kick. The best highlight of the night, though, came from this deadly accurate ball boy. ...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Is Thriving In MLS
Old man and Manchester United legend Wayne Rooney was supposed to be irreversibly washed. He still largely is—hence why he’s in MLS to begin with—but, still, he’s definitely been making the most out of his American sabbatical. He’s already mashed his face into bits and notched one of his career-bes...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Produced One Of The Best MLS Highlights You'll Ever See
D.C. United sent their keeper up for a corner kick with a minute left in stoppage time of a tied game. It backfired, spectacularly. Then it didn’t, spectacularly, and it was all thanks to good ol’ Wayne Rooney. ...
Reporter Hit By Falling Railing On Opening Day At D.C.'s New MLS Stadium
D.C. United celebrated the opening of their new stadium last Saturday. Fans were treated to 32 minutes of Wayne Rooney, protests from disgruntled supporter groups, and a series of railings breaking and falling all over the place. D.C. United communications VP and sideline reporter Lindsay Simpson wa...
Old Man Wayne Rooney Looks To Be Headed To D.C. United
A year after Wayne Rooney left Manchester United to return to his boyhood club, Everton, the former England great is reportedly on the cusp on joining D.C. United in MLS. United will reportedly pay a £12 million transfer fee for Rooney....
The Future Of American Soccer Might Be Barron Trump?!?
Christian Pulisic. Matt Miazga. Josh Sargent. These are some of the budding talents soccer fans in the States hope will develop and flourish and eventually Make America Great At Soccer For The First Time. And it seems we’ve found another young upstart to add to that list. That youngster is none othe...
Liquor Store Soccer Team Scores First Against D.C. United
Christos FC, an amateur Baltimore soccer team that never practices and is headquartered in a liquor store, is playing a fourth-round U.S. Open Cup match against D.C. United of MLS tonight. In the 23rd minute, Mamadou Kansaye scored on a free kick to give his club a 1-0 lead over the three-time Open ...
Meanwhile, At The Soccer Halftime Show
How to not only get away with LARPing in public but actually be featured as an MLS match halftime show: declare it to be “Star Wars Night.”...