Offcials of the new league held a press conference in San Francisco this morning and announced, among other things, the four head coaches for its inaugural season: Green will coach the San Francisco franchise, Ted Cottrell will coach the New York franchise, Jim Fassel is at Las Vegas, and Jim Haslett is at Orlando. According to its web site, the UFL was designed for "the enjoyment of fans in major markets where professional football is not played."

Which is why there's a San Francisco franchise? Hey!

The new league, which debuts in October, is also not above throwing around Vick's name. From Newsday:

I asked commissioner Michael Huyghue about Vick, and he said that the league would be open to signing him. The three requirements: 1. Vick would have to complete his sentence on charges of running an illegal dog-fighting operations (he is due to complete his sentence in late July). 2. He'd have to be released by the Falcons, who still own his contractual rights. 3. The UFL would have to get positive feedback from the fans about Vick's inclusion in the league.

Also, games will be played in Los Angeles and Hartford, even though those cities will not have franchises. Actually no one officially has a franchise: The players will all train in Casa Grande, Arizona, and travel to the different cities for games over the six-week season, which ends on Thanksgiving.

I notice that the league's big investor is Paul Pelsoi, husband of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. He actually heads a group that owns all four franchises. Fun fact: He was Paul Tagliabue's roommate at Georgetown.

Far be it from me to question the wisdom of starting a new professional football league to compete against the NFL during a recession. I'm just looking forward to seeing Vick negotiate the right-field corner in AT&T Park.

Green, Fassel, Haslett To Coach In New League [San Francisco Chronicle]
Michael Vick Could Have A Home In The UFL [Newsday]
United Football League [Official Site]

No, seriously: Here's the official trademark request. The request, made in Green's name by his lawyer, seeks to put the phrase on "Hats, caps, baseball caps, knitted caps, golf caps, sports jerseys, t-shirts, polo shirts, sport shirts, sweatshirts, golf shirts, sweat bands, sweat pants, jogging pants." All told, that's a lot of words to fit on a sweatband, but hey, what do we know?

We're glad Denny's probably gonna be able to score some cash out of his most embarrassing moment; if only Jim Mora had thought to trademark "PLAYOFFS?"

Trademark Request: "They Are Who We Thought They Were" [United States Trademark And Patent Office]

Typically, the Buzzsaw brass has denied they're firing Green, a statement that's yet another full-frontal assault on the non-existent Buzzsaw fan base. But that's not all; the reports — again, denied by the team, because Dennis Green in no way has lost grasp on what he's doing, nope — claim that the top choice to replace him is Steve Mariucci, the only guy who, at the end of his tenure, seemed to have less idea what was going on than Green currently does.

We still have a feeling they're gonna end up with Mike Martz. Just feels right, for some reason.

Dennis Green's Ass Crowned With Walking Papers [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
Cardinals Deny They've Decided To Fire Green [Chicago Tribune]

We're gonna talk a bit more about last night's Buzzsaw implosion a little later, but we really felt we had to start the day with coach Dennis Green — who is pretty obviously going to be fired before this season ends — putting forth one of the true great postgame press conference explosions. We still aren't sure what question he was asked, but it doesn't really matter; Green was ready to explode, and explode he did.

Ah, Denny: For the blissful, serene days of Randy Moss.

Arizona Is Who We Thought They Were [The Sports Pulse]
It's Time For Denny To Go [AZPigskin.com]