despair - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How To Survive A Long-Distance RelationshipI'm sorry we're here. Or rather, I'm sorry that the Love of Your Life is way, way far out over there. It's not easy being in a long-distance relationship. Trust me. While absence makes the heart grow fonder or whatever, that absence is also exhausting, depressing, and can drive you crazy. You may fi...

How To Suck Up To Your Terrible Boss In the abyss of degradation that is the modern office, pretending to respect your boss is one of the more difficult tasks you might face. He or she controls your paycheck, dictates what hours you're chained to your desk, and calls pointless meetings just to hear his own voice with different acoust...

How To Survive An Office Meeting: A Guide For Sad Drones One of the terrors of the modern office job is the meeting, wherein everyone in a particular business unit of a company converges to sit around a sad, grey conference table to recite terms like report and action item and iteration and suboptimal at each other in the hope that these will conjure, m...

Here's The Wizznutzz Turning John Hollinger Into A Zagat's Of Existential Basketball Despair

Last week, ESPN's John Hollinger broke down the strengths and weaknesses of the Washington Wizards roster (Insider). Fans could find some bright spots if they looked: John Wall has "blinding open-court speed"; Nene is a "strong, quick big man who can run floor." But Wizards fans know better than to...

Beer of the Week: Double D Blonde

Once we get past the name of Double D Blonde, the wheaty, quick-drinking blonde ale out of Oregon's Hop Valley Brewing Company, you can appreciate it as a hoppy little number that won't offend you, won't overwhelm you. It's lager-golden and keg-ready at 20 IBU and 4.9 percent abv. It has a sharp not...

Will Someone Please Help Jose Canseco Get His Decorative Light Fixtures Back?

There is so much compressed sadness in this one tweet that I think we can now upgrade Jose Canseco from professional sad sack to existential hero. I mean, at this point would you be at all surprised if his next tweet were, "woke up from uneazy dreams now ima bug ,help"?...

Jay Mariotti On Erin Andrews, AutoSummarized

"Why was the Internet ... giving semi-lives to people with no lives?" thunders Mariotti, who writes for the Internet. The column goes on in this vein for 1,500 words. Let's send this through Microsoft Word's AutoSummarize function, shall we?...