The Lesson Of ​Black Monday: Your NFL Team Doesn't Know What It's Doing

Yesterday was Black Monday in the NFL. My team's coach got fired. Your team's coach got fired. EVERYONE'S coach got fired. If six Fortune 500 CEOs were all shitcanned on the same day, the markets would crash; there'd be barricades in the streets by noon. But it's a telling sign of football culture that mass purges can… » 12/31/13 10:47am 12/31/13 10:47am

The Real Reason The NFL Can't Fix Concussions Any Time Soon

In yesterday's game against the Giants, Lions tight end Dorin Dickerson sustained a concussion while covering a kickoff return. (It appears to have been on a simple touchback.) He stayed in the game, until he eventually screwed up on back to back plays. » 12/23/13 1:07pm 12/23/13 1:07pm

Justin Tucker, Kicker, Conqueror

It's a morning to unreservedly celebrate Justin Tucker, because how often do we get the chance? How rarely is the kicker the one proudly jogging off the field with his helmet held high? Tucker—who appears to have wrestled the "Legatron" nickname away from Greg Zuerlein—accounted for all of the Ravens' points, including a … » 12/17/13 9:00am 12/17/13 9:00am

Lions Fan Says He Was Beaten Unconscious By Eagles Fans

Some sports happened this weekend, which means that some sports fans did some awful and violent things. This latest instance comes from a 33-year-old Lions fan, who says a bunch of angry Eagles fans beat the shit out of him outside of the stadium after the Eagles' 34-20 home victory against the Lions. Why? Because he… » 12/10/13 3:27pm 12/10/13 3:27pm

Matt Stafford Fumbleface Is The Best Face, Non-Manning Division

Yesterday's Snow Bowl created a real problem for the Detroit Lions in the possession department. (They fumbled seven times.) One late mishap led quarterback Matthew Stafford to a moment of pure panic and desperation—a circumstance we feel deserved a more intimate experience. » 12/09/13 9:30am 12/09/13 9:30am

The Packers Today Forgot They Had A Game Against The Lions

The Green Bay Packers allegedly played the Detroit Lions this afternoon, in a rematch of a Jan. 1, 2012 game in which the teams combined for a Packers team single-game record 1,125 yards. In that game, Detroit racked up 575 yards (Matt Stafford threw for 520 yards) while Green Bay rolled up 550 (Matt Flynn threw for… » 11/28/13 6:10pm 11/28/13 6:10pm

Reminder: The Lions Weren't Always Terrible On Thanksgiving

It's a new American tradition; everyone gathers as a family to watch the Lions get thrashed on Thanksgiving, because the Lions, recent improvements notwithstanding, have had a rough stretch as a professional football team. How long has Detroit been a Turkey Day laughingstock? » 11/27/13 2:38pm 11/27/13 2:38pm

A Three-Man Front Is A Late-Game Defensive Formation For Suckers

The weekend, as I watched the absurd denouement of the Northwestern-Michigan game, something struck me as familiar — beyond the now-routine bumblefuckery that inspires the Wildcats to turn fourth-quarter leads into triple-overtime losses. No, it wasn't simply that Michigan drove in the dregs of game clock to kick the… » 11/20/13 8:09pm 11/20/13 8:09pm