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Posts Tagged “
Detroit Lions
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rreeeeaaacccchhhh
1st Round, Seventeenth Overall: Lions Select Gosder Cherilus
The Lions made a pick. Stop snickering. And he's a pretty good player. Stop it! Nothing is funny! He could help the team improve. Last warning, damn it!
Okay, everything the Lions do is funny. Most coaches invoke omerta when talking about their pre-draft needs. Rod Marinelli shows up at his press conference babbling like a sorority sister on sodium pentothal, reading off his draft board like it's a grocery list. Funny. At one point, he said that he's building for "five to ten years down the road." Talk about an endless highway. Don't pressure the guy for results until 2018, all right? Funny.
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If the Freep drafted for the Lions instead of Matt Millen, they'd have taken Shawne Merriman over Mike Williams, Terence Newman over Charles Rogers, and Reggie Wayne over Jeff Backus. It's as if they're assuming Millen's not very good at drafting players. [Detroit Free Press]
jon kitna
Jon Kitna Has Good Reasons To Love God
After the Lions' loss to the Packers yesterday, reporters asked Detroit quarterback Jon Kitna what he was thankful for. As everybody now knows, Kitna wears his Christianity on his sleeve. And we really have no problem with that. More »
thanksgiving
Prepare for this exact scene tomorrow: Brett Favre eating turkey and receiving backslaps on the Lions' home field. (We're not sure, but we believe this picture was taken in 1983.) More »
Welcome To The Land Of Turducken
Prepare for this exact scene tomorrow: Brett Favre eating turkey and receiving backslaps on the Lions' home field. (We're not sure, but we believe this picture was taken in 1983.) More »
detroit lions
We don't believe it either, but the Detroit Lions are 6-2, with four winnable games coming up. What the heck is going on? More »
Do Not Taunt The Detroit Lions
We don't believe it either, but the Detroit Lions are 6-2, with four winnable games coming up. What the heck is going on? More »
nfl 4:30 update
Detroit Lions Sweep The Leg On Broncos
The appetizers leading up to the Colts-Patriots were actually rather satisfying. Most of the games were very close in the fourth quarter, and a very large defensive lineman had to run fast. The Patriots-Colts, Texans-Raiders, and Seahawks-Browns are the only afternoon games. But first, let's look at the hefty 1:00 schedule: More »
halloween
The Only Time Jon Kitna Has Ever Been Naked In Public
We're a little behind on this, but it's awfully amusing, particularly because it's Halloween. Lions quarterback Jon Kitna apparently has a better sense of humor than you might have thought. More »
nfl updates
We Are All Calvinists
• I was rather impressed with Calvin Johnson's endaround touchdown where he eluded about three tackles by himself and had great wide receiver blocking downfield. The Buccaneers adorably recovered the onside kick late in the game and nailed a field goal, but couldn't get another onside kick to go their way. Can Detroit win six more times? Lions 23, Buccaneers 16 More »
pizza please
Look For The Large Wide Receiver At Your Door Today
You know how Pizza Hut offered to explain the importance of tipping to Lions wide receiver Roy Williams, a notorious avoider of the practice. Well, today, Roy Williams is doing his part to understand how the other 99 percent lives. More »
cold pizza
Pizza Hut Wants To Be Friends With Roy Williams
You might remember that Lions wide receiver Roy Williams hates to tip pizza delivery guys. Well, it turns out, the president of Pizza Hut has taken notice, and he's offering Williams a job. More »
roy williams
Ladies, Line Up For Roy Williams
Lions wide receiver Roy Williams is making $1,515,000 this year, which is actually a little less than you might think, considering Jon Kitna is being paid $5 million. Therefore, Williams, under such obvious financial constraints, has to keep a close eye on his bottom line. That is to say: He's amazingly cheap. More »
cure kitna
God Apologizes For Helping Kitna
Lions quarterback Jon Kitna, just eight wins away from that preseason prediction, claimed last week that God healed his concussion, allowing him to play last week against the Eagles. You might have wondered what God thought about this. Well, Sportsline's Clay Travis has talked to God, and he's sorry. More »
they x-rayed his head and nothing was found
Jon Kitna Was Sacked For Your Sins
You just knew that when God finally made his presence known to mankind, it would be to heal a journeyman NFL quarterback's minor head injury. So you Iraqi kids with missing limbs, you're just going to have to wait your turn. Jon Kitna's got to take care of business! More »
nfl division previews
It's The NFC North Pants Party
OK, now it's time for the NFC
matt millen
Charles Rogers, Finding A Home Up North?
We think we've found a great future job for Lions general manager / president Matt Millen, if he's ever actually fired by Detroit. (Ha. Right.) He would make a grand scout for the CFL. More »
nfl season preview
NFL Season Preview: Detroit Lions
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it.
Last year, we asked some of our favorite writers to opine why Their Favorite Team Was Better Than Yours. Ultimately, we found this constrictive, and it also might have killed James Frey. So this time, we've just asked them to just run free, talk about their team, their experience as a fan, their hopes, their dreams, their desires for oral sex. All our teams are now assigned; if you sent us an email and we didn't get back to you, we're sorry, and we accept your scorn. But today: The Detroit Lions.
Your author is Michael David Smith, who covers the NFL for Football Outsiders, the New York Sun, AOL FanHouse and Pro Football Talk. His words are after the jump.
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