Did everyone watch "Fab Five" last night? If you're like us, you were most excited by the teaser of Jimmy King calling Christian Laettner a "bitch." Turns out he wasn't the only one with choice words for the face of that era's Duke team.

Some of you have emailed or g-chatted with concerns that the system still won't enable you to change your passwords. This, I am told, is being investigated by the brave Tech Team. Go to Gizmodo for updates on most questions.

Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day.

His name is Rich Schultz (yellow polo, large grin, Jersey tan), but please don't call him "Two Holes" because that's somewhat suggestive. Odds of him hitting two holes in one during a single round? 26,045,834 to 1. [Allentown Morning Call]

Hence, the prolonged wheel-spinning you may be experiencing. From Gawker Quality Assurance: "It appears that we are under attack again, and are seeing major problems as a result." Just be patient or FUCKING PRAY QUIETLY BEFORE THEY MAKE YOUR EYES BLEED.

The woman who falsely accused three Duke lacrosse players of rape in 2006 was arrested by Durham police after a domestic dispute. Charges include arson, assault and battery, identity theft, resisting an officer, child endangerment and attempted murder. So....yeah. [WRAL]