Deadspin: dick vermeil

Lawrence Phillips Goes For Rare Triple Crown

Leitch — Fri, 20 Apr 2007 11:00:18 EDT

An old George Carlin comedy routine had a good time mocking California's "Three Strikes And You're Out" policy of jailing three-time felons for life; Carlin pointed out that the writing of laws for the incarceration of our citizens should perhaps not be based in cute and funny baseball terms. But as far as we know, no athlete has ever actually notched one of the real-world trifectas.

But we're awfully close, in the person of the one and only Lawrence Phillips. Turns out, Phillips could be starting down the barrel of his third strike (if we might play the Stephen Colbert metaphor game for a moment).

The guilty plea from 2000 would be his first strike (the previous dragging his girlfriend down a flight of stairs doesn't count as a strike). His "taking his anger out on a bunch of kids who beat him at a pickup game in a sport he used to play professionally" crime (also defined above as assault with a deadly weapon) would make his second strike, and therefore double the maximum sentence to 20 years.

If all goes bad, Phillips could soon be facing his third strike. On top of all of these, he's also awaiting trial on charges he struck his live-in girlfriend in San Diego and strangled her into unconsciousness in 2005. I just hope it wasn't the same girlfriend as the 2000 incident.

So yeah, matters didn't turn out to well for Mr. Phillips. If only Dick Vermeil had tried harder!

Lawrence Phillips: Delay Of Conviction [Lion In Oil]

Hey, Let's Play Two Every Monday!

Leitch — Tue, 12 Sep 2006 11:00:28 EDT

While we acknowledge that the "Monday Night Football" crew might still have some bugs to iron out, as evidenced by this inventive description of new Vikings offensive lineman Steve Hutchinson, on the whole, it was a pretty smooth night of football, considering it went for almost seven hours.

Tony Kornheiser sounded like he'd been broadcasting for a heckuva lot longer than Joe Theismann — listening to the two of the them talk, we keep hearing Mortal Kombat's "FINISH HIM!!!!" in our brains; the question is not whether Kornheiser could destroy Theismann on air, the question is whether he actually wants to — and in the late game, Dick Vermeil was a surprising joy, smart, funny and kinda, we dunno, warm. Seriously, did that broadcast team even have time to practice? And they were still the best we've heard so far.

As for the games, well, if we were Redskins fans, we'd be deeply concerned, and it's not just the Cruise thing. But that's better than being a fan of the Raiders, whom, after last night's game, we're pretty comfortable with calling them the Illini of the NFL. Perhaps they should device a new way to punt.

Vermeil On Monday Night Football [Off Wing Opinion]

Setting The 1 o'clock Table...

mjdeadspin — Sat, 24 Dec 2005 12:59:06 EST

• Pittsburgh @ Cleveland. Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger makes an emotional return to Ohio, where he was only good enough in high school to be runner up for the title of Mr. Football in 1999. So if you you see Ben running around the field screaming, "Where's your Bam Childress NOW, bitches?" you'll understand why.
• San Diego @ Kansas City. This could be Dick Vermeil's penultimate game as head coach of the Chiefs, writes John Clayton. Crazy playoff implications also abound, and this is probably your game of the day.
• Detroit @ New Orleans. Happy birthday, Jesus. Here, enjoy all the worst of humanity, stuffed conventiently into one location. I'd say it's about even money on us seeing Santa Claus with a "Fire Millen" sign before the day's over.

Giants Lead Chiefs At The Half

mjdeadspin — Sat, 17 Dec 2005 18:51:43 EST

Thanks mainly to a goal-line stop of Larry Johnson, one of the worst defensive efforts you'll ever see by the Chiefs, a turnover late in the half, and a Jay Feely field goal attempt that was evidently influenced by divine intervention, the Giants lead the Chiefs 10-3 at halftime.

Tiki Barber scored on a 41-yard touchdown run in the 2nd quarter because the Chiefs outright refused to tackle him. Those who were in a position to do so were physically unable. Those who were not in a position to tackle him made very little attempt to get themselves in such a position. Safety Greg Wesley outright quit on the play, and the only possible forgivable reason for that is if he was just in awe at how many other teammates gave up on the play, too.

CBS is to be applauded for the complete lack of sleigh bells in the broadcast. I've gained an all new appreciation for Phil Simms and Jim Nantz.