Vitale addressed the Alex Rodriguez situation on Mike & Mike's ESPN radio show on Monday, with his rant spilling over and becoming an indictment on all the wrongs of sports. If only people would listen to he, Dick Vitale, then all would be right.

"It really breaks my heart. I was very close to Alex when he was a kid coming up in Seattle, but he's no longer the kid I knew. ... His life has become a big soap opera and a disaster. I've tried to give him some advice from time to time on some things but that didn't go over very well, and when that happens you just disappear."

Vitale went on to list all of the athletes who have let us down, advocating a "Hall of Shame" for players such as Rodriguez, Bonds, McGwire, Sosa and Palmiero. But most of all, what about the kids?

"I'll tell you, I just wrote a check out for 20-some thousand dollars for four season tickets, and really, you feel tainted. It really bothers me; where are the role models? Now you have the Phelps situation where he was caught drinking and smoking marijuana, and he had a DUI earlier in his life. So many guys are disappointments to so many beautiful young kids."

Those tickets of course are for the Tampa Bay Rays, of which Vitale is a big fan, and those "beautuful kids" he refers to all look like this.

Vitale Rant On A-Rod: You Broke My Heart, Fredo [USA Today]
Dick Vitale On Mike & Mike [ESPN 950]

And I'm not sure what greatest sportscaster list would have Bill Walton included in the top 40, unless one was going by height. Oh wait, he's on the ASA board. OK. Anyway, Vin Scully was voted No. 1, and he just found out about it, so it must be fairly recent. Right? What the voting criteria was is a mystery, and play-by-play guys seem to be mixed in with color analysts, and Terry Bradshaw (honorable mention!). Plus, gratuitous Joe Morgan.

From Tom Hoffarth at the Los Angeles Daily News:

The Dodgers finally caught wind of this list and sent out a press release Monday afternoon. As for Vin Scully being named No. 1, he emailed to us: "The sportscasters' vote is news to me. I never voted but I am humbled to be in front of Mel Allen, Red Barber and Curt Gowdy. The longevity part must have been the decider."

Dick Enberg, who made the top 10 and is also the Chairman of the Board for ASA, also emailed back before heading out to Melbourne to cover the Australia Open tennis championships starting next week on ESPN: "Frankly, there's plenty of room for argument, which is common with any of the suspect 'Best of All-Time' lists. It never helps your chances if deceased. (Check: Husing, Brickhouse, Dunphy, Stern, and of course, Chick Hearn.) With the exception of yours truly, the top 10 is pretty solid."

There's nothing at all about this on the ASA web site. All in all, a very odd endeavor.

And Marv Albert is on the Advisory Board. Oh good.

The Whole Top 50 ASA list, From Scully To Collins And Beyond [Farther Off The Wall]
Scully No. 1, This Is News? [Farther Off The Wall]

It seems that NORBY(!) got it in his pretty little head to switch the announcing crews from his college basketball and NBA rosters for one night. Vitale and Dan Schulman will work the NBA game, while MikeTirico, Jeff Van Gundy and Mark Jackson will handle the Davidison-Duke tilt earlier in the evening. Why? Why not?!

''It's a natural progression to make connections between college basketball and the NBA,'' ESPN executive Norby Williamson said. ``The commentators involved have strong ties with the other level, which will prompt engaging dialogue. Dick, Mark and Jeff are universally recognized as leading basketball experts.''

Hear that? Universally. He also added that Vitale has "working knowledge" of the Heat roster (i.e., he's seen Dwayne Wade's TV commercials), so there's no cause for alarm. Of course, that doesn't explain how Davidson golden boy Stephen Curry will play a game in Cameron Indoor Arena and Dick Vitale will not be in the building. I thought that was like an FCC regulation or something.

Dick Vitale returns to NBA - for one game [Miami Herald]

The reader who sent this in asked the question that I think we were all wrestling with as we tried to fall asleep last night: Was Dick Vitale trying to cop a feel from a Kansas cheerleader? My conclusion after much tossing and turning and several cups of coffee: Absolutely not. He was just holding on tightly so that he didn't fall down in the kick line. He's very old. But you can judge for yourself, below.

Big thanks to Insomniac's Lounge.

Dickie V: Shameless To The Very End [Rush The Court]
As If You Needed Another Reason ... [Somewhat Opinionated]

So it didn't surprise us that Vitale reads student newspapers religiously and tries to motivate student journalists too. From the University of Kansas newspaper:

I have no idea how, but it seems that Vitale must have seen my article written last week on referee Steve Welmer. I have been told that Vitale regularly reads Kansan.com as well as the student newspapers for several other colleges, so maybe that is how he saw my story or got the address to The Kansan. Vitale autographed a couple of things including the cover of a recent issue of American Airlines Magazine and included a message that I will never forget:

"BJ, Rock Chalk Jayhawk Baby. You are an excellent writer. Keep chasing your dreams. Best of luck in your career." -Dick Vitale, Hall of Fame 2008"

OK, so two great things here. One: Vitale signs everything now with "Hall of Fame 2008." We know this is common from people who make Halls of Fame ... but still. Also: We bet he has about 500,000 copies of that American Way magazine next to his desk. Surrounding his desk. Spanning the walls.

Vitale Keeps It Classy [Kansan.com]

The sad part is that all the autograph hounds camp out here every year on this date, knowing that Roy will have a day off.

And I'm pretty sure that this signature will not count toward her required 15 pieces of flair.

Roy Williams Loves Hooters [Don Chavez]
Roy Williams Enjoys Hooters [With Leather]
NCAA Cuts Hooters Ad From Final Four Program [SportsbyBrooks]

Is it too much? You make the call!

The NCAA said the ad is acceptable if they removed the girl. Conversely, others might say the ad is acceptable only if Vitale is removed. Plus, those watermarks leave something to be desired.

And so the advertising world turns. If an ad campaign causes enough attention to the point of controversy, it gets way more attention than were the ad to be seen in the Final Four program, seen only by the staunch few who actually buy those things.

New Hooters-Dickie V Ad Pulled From Final Four Program [Awful Announcing]

They even have a video about the whole thing. Who says that Vitale has lost his dignity in the endless chase for more schtick? Not us!

Not So Awesome Baby [FanIQ]

Whatever your thoughts on Vitale — and while working during ESPN Bracketology yesterday, we actually had to turn down our television set when Vitale was on so we could concentrate — it did seem strange not having him be a part of college basketball during his surgery. Though bringing him back for Duke-UNC seemed almost cruel; it's like they were trying to get him to blow out his voice right then and there, all over again.

Anyway, Vitale won't get to broadcast any tourney games once again this year, but we've all gotten used to that. It's probably for the best, actually, whether you like Vitale or not. Duke can only play so many games, after all.

So: Do you like the Dick Vitale? Do you not like the Dick Vitale?

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

From Freeman's column:

The media loves Tough Whiteness, too. Never mind that college basketball is full of blue collar, intense African-American players with more desire than ability. And forget the fact that Hansbrough is an excellent, highly skilled athlete, more Larry Johnson than Rudy Ruettiger. None of that matters. The media sees the tough white guy with the bloodied nose, scrunched up face and Hannibal Lecter mannerisms and falls in lust. Bill Raftery is an admirable professional who is one of my favorites to watch. He's extremely talented, but during a timeout in one North Carolina game, he said "watching Tyler Hansbrough listen is special." What? No, seriously, what?

Please forgive me if I stay out of this debate and just continue eating this melba toast. I hate controversy. But I will say that Sportsline may be rethinking their little "Tell Mike your opinion" link below his byline.

Media Crazy (In Love) With Psycho T [CBS Sportsline]

Vitale returned from his throat surgery last night for the Duke-UNC game, and we were reminded once again how much we absolutely cannot stand him ... and how much we had missed him. Some people might go a bit overboard on this — "Vitale's return - with that first in-depth, technical analysis you can only get from Vitale, the diagnosis of a play that begins and ends with "Ohhhhhhhh!!!!" - sounded like one of the classics. Dylan singing "Like a Rolling Stone." Lennon doing "Imagine." Vitale shouting "Super! Scintillating! Sensational!" — but it's impossible to deny that a Duke-UNC game would feel different without Vitale's signature brand of screaming, idiocy and Duke fellatio. All of college basketball would. Those who say Vitale is owed a considerable amount of credit for college basketball's explosion over the last 15 years sound correct to us: When our Illini team of 1989, with Nick Anderson, Kenny Battle and Kendall Gill, busted out, it was Vitale whose voice we would all imitate while playing basketball in the back yard. "The Flying Illini, Baby!"

Of course, we were 13 years old, and 13-year-olds are stupid. Vitale is a guy that's vital to the game, and we're happy he's back, doing what he loves. It's not quite right without him. We're still not taking the TV off mute.

Grating? Sure, But It's Great To Hear Vitale's Voice [Northwest Herald]

ESPN college basketball analyst Dick Vitale has been cleared to return to broadcasting after a successful surgery in December to treat ulcers on his left vocal cord. ...Vitale is scheduled to return to the "Mike & Mike in the Morning" ESPN Radio show on Feb. 4 and plans to call his first game on Feb. 6 between Duke and North Carolina.

Yes, Vitale's doctors are so confident in their work that they're trusting their patient to ease back into his job with a Duke-Carolina game. This is roughly equivalent to releasing a gastric bypass patient into a mall consisting entirely of Hometown Buffet and Cold Stone Creamery stores, locking the door, and piping in hot fudge in lieu of elevator music.

Dickie V Returns [ESPN]

Anyway, Vitale was doing a radio interview yesterday and was talking to someone in the room and forgot he was on the air. He ends up trashing Joakim Noah a bit and telling some off-record Billy Donovan info that we doubt the intense Florida coach would particularly enjoy.

The best thing is that this happens twice; we imagine Vitale just trying to figure out where the "SEND TELEGRAM" button on his phone is. For some big fun, you can hear the audio here and here.

Dickie Vitale Reveals Billy Dononvan Comments.....Oops and Oh Shit [Loser With Socks]

That's probably the best way to describe the project Card Chronicle put together last night: They compiled a list of teams and people that Dick Vitale mentioned during his "broadcast" of the Connecticut-Louisville game that had nothing to do with either Connecticut or Louisville. The final tally? 156. Some highlights:

1. Duke
2. Mike Krzyzewski
3. Duke (1986)
25. Indianapolis Colts
30. Maria Sharapova
45. Frank Sinatra
55. His grandson Hunter
56. His grandson Jake
71. Norby Williamson
72. Bo Derek
79. Rosie O'Donnell
98. Tony Bennett
111. Jim Valvano
127. Mike & Mike
148. Awesome Baby (race horse)

And you know what? We bet this is in the low range.

For The Record [Card Chronicle]

If you're a young buck who hasn't had much of a chance to see Dominique in action, or you just need a reminder, give this a look:

Best in-game dunker of all-time. He had a power and explosiveness that allowed him to come out of nowhere and posterize anyone, almost at will. Congrats, 'Nique.

And the better news for Dominique? He doesn't have to share a stage with Dick Vitale. Dickie V was on the ballot, but did not make the cut. I can sense that many of you are very distraught right now.

Report: 'Nique, Dumars, Auriemma Hall-bound [FoxSports.com]
Vitale doesn't get enough votes [HeraldTribune.com]

Here's what the Worldwide Leader has planned for the day:

• The actual game is on ESPN
• ESPN2 will broadcast the "Above the Rim" view for the entire game
• ESPNU will broadcast Cameron Crazy Cam, cameras both in and on the fans at the game
• College Gameday was live from Krzyzewskiville
• ESPN.com will have live chats and polls during the game
• ESPN 360 will broadcast the game with extra stats
• ESPN Classic is playing old Duke/UNC games all day long
• ESPN mobile is providing live alerts and updates for all 7 of their customers

And I believe ESPN News will have a camera focused exclusively on Dick Vitale's crotch so you can expeience his erection each time Duke scores on UNC.

I don't think "overkill" is a strong enough word for this. But if you stay here with me on Deadspin, I promise I won't mention it again until "To Watch Tonight."

Dick Vitale was judged as the most newsworthy name among the sixteen. Is there no one at ESPN who has any shame? Come on now.

Dominique Wilkins was nominated last year, too, but somehow didn't make it. I can't imagine that it's possible, but if Dick Vitale makes it in and Dominique Wilkins does not, I'm going to organize a mass Deadspin field trip to the Hall of Fame, where we'll all gather around the building's perimeter and then treat the Hall like R. Kelly treats 14-year-old girls.

I'm not saying that Vitale is completely unworthy. He's created a personality for himself that's become, for some reason, quite popular, and he's worked hard to promote the game. There's something to be said for that. But if Dominique had to wait a year, then Dick Vitale damn sure better have to wait a year, too.

Naismith Memorial Hall of Fame [HoopHall.com]