Modell's CEO Tricks Dick's Staff Into Showing Him Private Back Area

Once upon a time, Mitch Modell, CEO of Modell's Sporting Goods, pretended to be a walrus and learned what it was like to be a poorly-paid Modell's employee (without actually being poorly-paid) for an episode of Undercover Boss. Now, according to a suit filed by sporting goods store Dick's, Modell is pretending to be a… » 3/01/14 9:47am 3/01/14 9:47am

What's More Improbable: The Jaguars' +28 Line Or An 11-Inch Penis?

The murmurs began last week, before the Broncos put up 51 points against the Cowboys and the Jaguars lost second-overall pick Luke Joeckel to injury. And when the dust of Week 5 had settled, sure enough, the betting line for Jaguars at Broncos was set at 28 points, which is a lot. » 10/07/13 4:21pm 10/07/13 4:21pm

Kevin Smith "Didn't Want No Fucking Bitches" In Lions Locker Room

We ran the "Why Your Team Sucks" preview for the Lions a week or so ago, featuring the usual assortment of aggrieved fan email. But one story, in particular, was too good to bury in that post. Here now is a reader describing her encounters with former Lions running back and eternal PUP lister Kevin Smith: » 8/21/13 3:39pm 8/21/13 3:39pm

Made-Up Dick Diseases Keeping Us From Figuring Out Male Birth Control

Like a lot of unchaste women, I take birth control every day. I do this because, as an underemployed person, I am not interested in housing a baby Meags in my Meags-parts. It sure would make my life easier if my man-friend-for-life had to shoulder some of the burden in this scenario. But, as is painfully obvious to… » 8/07/13 5:39pm 8/07/13 5:39pm

Jay Mariotti Has A Website And A Shitty Radio Show [CORRECTED]

Correction (4:04 p.m.): Turns out there are two Genesis Communications in the radio world. Jay Mariotti actually partnered with the one that owns and operates six stations in central Florida—not the one affiliated with Alex Jones and his ilk. Our bad. Fuck Mariotti anyway. » 8/07/13 12:14pm 8/07/13 12:14pm

Should You Send a Lady a Dick Pic? A Guide for Men

Anthony Weiner is back in the headlines with new revelations that the New York City mayoral candidate kept sending pictures of his spotlight-loving penis (who one can only assume is nicknamed "Carlos Danger," because Carlos Danger is a great penis name) well after he assured the public that he was very sorry for acting… » 7/23/13 5:02pm 7/23/13 5:02pm

PSG Is Threatening To Buy Lionel Messi. Wait. That Can't Happen, Right?

Soccer's the best. One of the reasons it's the best is that there are lots of leagues all over the world with lots of teams within them, and they all come together twice a year during the transfer windows to form one huge clusterfuck. Some of the richest clubs are owned by actual princes and/or oil tycoons, and there… » 7/19/13 4:19pm 7/19/13 4:19pm

A Few Suggestions for the Next Phase of Ballsack Evolution

Yo, nature! You're crazy, bro. You have to know you're crazy. I mean, you do a great job with a lot of shit—my teeth totally grind up food like a boss; my precision grip is hella virtuosic on the DVR remote; my feet and pelvic angle crush verticality. But seriously, WHAT IS YOUR DEAL WITH BALLS? » 7/10/13 5:33pm 7/10/13 5:33pm

MLB Is Trying To Dick Some Of Its Employees Out Of Their Pensions

Sure, Bud Selig and Major League Baseball may be the plucky underdogs when the league gets into a scheduling dispute with the all-mighty NFL, but that doesn't mean the MLB isn't also a vampiric organization with its own free-market-or-bust tendencies. Case in point: MLB owners are expected to vote in favor of… » 3/19/13 6:15pm 3/19/13 6:15pm

Gregg Zaun Is Tired Of Seeing All These Fat Chicks In Toronto

What's up, ladies? You see that handsome mug up there? That belongs to Gregg Zaun, former catcher for the Toronto Blue Jays and various other MLB teams. Pretty goddamn sexy, isn't he? Pump the brakes, though, sister. Don't think that you can just walk right up to him and expect to get a piece of what the Greggster has … » 12/19/12 1:35pm 12/19/12 1:35pm