A Comprehensive List of Foods That Look Like Dicks, Ranked

You know it, I know it and even your great-aunt Marlene who wears too much powder knows it: Some foods look like dicks. Delicious edible penises. Culinary cock. So let's just all be grown-ups about it and rank them. Because that's what grown-ups do when they're not busy crying themselves to sleep. » 9/12/14 3:33pm Friday 3:33pm

Disney Dudes' Dicks: What Your Favorite Princes Look Like Naked

While everyone else is busy coming up with yet another take on the "Disney Princesses as…" trope, we're over here thinking about dicks. More specifically: Disney Prince Peen. Here, we explore, in great detail, our best guesses for what the Disney Princes look like naked. NSFW due to cartoon nudity. » 8/18/14 4:21pm 8/18/14 4:21pm

I Spent All Day Trying To Figure Out If This Is Don Zimmer's Dick [NSFW]

Reader David passed along some old photos from the 1955 Brooklyn Dodgers' locker room. In his email, he claimed that Don Zimmer's dick was fully visible. We decided to dig deeper into this Dodgers dick. Our findings: It's almost certainly not Zimmer's, though the mystery wang does belong to a baseball player. » 8/15/14 1:50pm 8/15/14 1:50pm

Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero

Most runners I know who are not also liars acknowledge that running sucks much (okay, most) of the time. Usually, I deal with how much I hate it by complaining about it to people who really, truly do not care. But one San Francisco woman has channeled that love-hate relationship into something beautiful: using the… » 8/05/14 4:49pm 8/05/14 4:49pm

Is This a Dick in This Real Estate Listing, or What?

There is a five bedroom, four bathroom three-story condo at 5517 Oakwood Cove in Austin available for the price of $389,500. One of the bathrooms is pictured, and you can see that some changes need to be made. The wallpaper could be scrapped. The fixtures could be updated. Oh, and the dude with his dick hanging out… » 7/24/14 4:44pm 7/24/14 4:44pm

The Astros Are Trying To Dick Draft Picks Out Of Their Money

The Astros selected high school pitcher Brady Aiken with the first overall pick in this year's amateur draft, and quickly came to a verbal agreement that would pay Aiken a $6.5 million bonus, a notch down from the $7.9 million slot value that was assigned the No. 1 pick. But now the Astros are trying to wriggle out of… » 7/15/14 11:58am 7/15/14 11:58am

The Reason Koreans Threw Toffees At Their Soccer Team Is Hilarious

South Korea had a mostly shit World Cup, drawing once and losing twice and looking haggard throughout. So when they arrived home this Sunday, BBC explains, "angry fans threw handfuls of sweets at them, which is considered an insult in the country." BBC does not explain that the candies look like dicks, and throwing… » 7/02/14 11:12am 7/02/14 11:12am

Floyd Mayweather Posts Ex's Sonogram, Accuses Her of 'Killing Babies'

Earlier this year, boxer Floyd Mayweather got dumped by his fiancee Shantel Jackson after he allegedly cheated on her. But Mayweather has since apparently gone batshit insane, insisting that it was he who dumped her, and that he did it because she had "a abortion." To support this accusation, he posted what he claims… » 5/01/14 10:22am 5/01/14 10:22am

Modell's CEO Tricks Dick's Staff Into Showing Him Private Back Area

Once upon a time, Mitch Modell, CEO of Modell's Sporting Goods, pretended to be a walrus and learned what it was like to be a poorly-paid Modell's employee (without actually being poorly-paid) for an episode of Undercover Boss. Now, according to a suit filed by sporting goods store Dick's, Modell is pretending to be a… » 3/01/14 9:47am 3/01/14 9:47am