The Long and Short of It: 2014's Best, Biggest, and Brightest Dicks

The year of 2014 began with a bang: a man on Reddit who had posted photos of his two penises sat in on the site for an AMA session on January 1st. Answering the question, "Do you have a favorite?" the man with two dicks replied, "Yes. The right one. The left one has a grudge against me for it too. lol" With that… » 12/30/14 3:12pm 12/30/14 3:12pm

Fifty Shades of Dick: The Best Crotch Shots in Mainstream Film

The sad news that Fifty Shades of Grey will not feature any full-frontal has left many of us devastated. Fear not, however! Jezebel is here to pick up the rubble and distract you with the 50 best (theme, you see?) peens you can see on-screen. Trust us, these pictures will make your mood rise. » 11/05/14 5:25pm 11/05/14 5:25pm

A Comprehensive List of Foods That Look Like Dicks, Ranked

You know it, I know it and even your great-aunt Marlene who wears too much powder knows it: Some foods look like dicks. Delicious edible penises. Culinary cock. So let's just all be grown-ups about it and rank them. Because that's what grown-ups do when they're not busy crying themselves to sleep. » 9/12/14 3:33pm 9/12/14 3:33pm

Disney Dudes' Dicks: What Your Favorite Princes Look Like Naked

While everyone else is busy coming up with yet another take on the "Disney Princesses as…" trope, we're over here thinking about dicks. More specifically: Disney Prince Peen. Here, we explore, in great detail, our best guesses for what the Disney Princes look like naked. NSFW due to cartoon nudity. » 8/18/14 4:21pm 8/18/14 4:21pm

I Spent All Day Trying To Figure Out If This Is Don Zimmer's Dick [NSFW]

Reader David passed along some old photos from the 1955 Brooklyn Dodgers' locker room. In his email, he claimed that Don Zimmer's dick was fully visible. We decided to dig deeper into this Dodgers dick. Our findings: It's almost certainly not Zimmer's, though the mystery wang does belong to a baseball player. » 8/15/14 1:50pm 8/15/14 1:50pm

Female Runner Who Uses Nike+ to Draw Dicks Is an American Hero

Most runners I know who are not also liars acknowledge that running sucks much (okay, most) of the time. Usually, I deal with how much I hate it by complaining about it to people who really, truly do not care. But one San Francisco woman has channeled that love-hate relationship into something beautiful: using the… » 8/05/14 4:49pm 8/05/14 4:49pm

Is This a Dick in This Real Estate Listing, or What?

There is a five bedroom, four bathroom three-story condo at 5517 Oakwood Cove in Austin available for the price of $389,500. One of the bathrooms is pictured, and you can see that some changes need to be made. The wallpaper could be scrapped. The fixtures could be updated. Oh, and the dude with his dick hanging out… » 7/24/14 4:44pm 7/24/14 4:44pm

The Astros Are Trying To Dick Draft Picks Out Of Their Money

The Astros selected high school pitcher Brady Aiken with the first overall pick in this year's amateur draft, and quickly came to a verbal agreement that would pay Aiken a $6.5 million bonus, a notch down from the $7.9 million slot value that was assigned the No. 1 pick. But now the Astros are trying to wriggle out of… » 7/15/14 11:58am 7/15/14 11:58am

The Reason Koreans Threw Toffees At Their Soccer Team Is Hilarious

South Korea had a mostly shit World Cup, drawing once and losing twice and looking haggard throughout. So when they arrived home this Sunday, BBC explains, "angry fans threw handfuls of sweets at them, which is considered an insult in the country." BBC does not explain that the candies look like dicks, and throwing… » 7/02/14 11:12am 7/02/14 11:12am