This is the second time since Goodell instituted his new "Personal Conduct Policy" back in 2007, that the league has suspended a player for an entire season over a non-football issue. (Adam "Pacman" Jones got the first one.) He can be re-instated after the Super Bowl.

Many critics have complained about the leniency of Stallworth's legal punishment for DUI manslaughter in Florida, but now it's much harder for anyone to say that he got off "easy."

Stallworth suspended without pay for 2009 season [NFL.com]

•Yankees beat Boston for the first time since Mike Mussina was on the mound and George W. Bush was in the White House. Thanks, Obama, it's the Go-Go '90s all over again!

•Like most decisions in the past 11 years, ESPN's attempt to control Twitter can be traced back to having an ad sales guy, not an editorial guy, in charge. I'm sure after reading this George Bodenheimer will cry himself to sleep atop a giant pile of money.

•One eyed man with two recent shoulder surgeries tries (and fails) to win a million bucks by throwing three strikes before last night's Royals game. On the bright side, he's now their fifth starter.

•Why is everyone reporting that Donte Stallworth will accept the NFL's punishment? Does he have a choice? Is he going to run on to the field to try and play even if he's suspended?

•Julio Castillo, who injured a spectator in a minor league game, is sentenced to 30 days in jail. So if we're going by forced days off, assaulting a fan is half as bad as taking certain supplements from GNC.

•Jeremy Roenick was the face of American hockey for the last 20 years, and a media favorite. To celebrate his retirement, here's his top ten quotes. Only seven of them are J.R. calling out a player/coach/fanbase.

•If Shaq loses a doubles volleyball match to Kerri Walsh and Misty May-Treanor, he'll walk two miles in a pink speedo — "three sizes too small." I've started a fund to pay off Walsh and May-Treanor to take a dive.

Happy Friday. Don't drink and drive until at least 2 a.m.

Everyone involved was probably eager to see this case end and whatever deal Stallworth got has to be significantly better than the 15 years he faced in prison if convicted. A spokesperson for the state's attorney says that even the victim's family just wants it to be over with. Stallworth hit a pedestrian—who may or may not have been jaywalking—after leaving a bar on March 14, but did not try avoid responsibility or guilt.

There's no way to know at this point how the jail term will affect his football career, but it's a good bet that he won't be on the field next season. (Or maybe the one after that.) And that's before the league office has its way with him.

Cleveland Browns' Donte' Stallworth to plead guilty, serve time in DUI manslaughter case [ESPN]

UPDATE: Stallworth did appear in court today and has been sentenced to 30 days in jail, which is slightly less than 15 years. He will also serve two years house arrest, 1,000 hours of community service and will be on probation for eight additional years. In addition, he already reached a financial settlement with the family of the victim, Mario Reyes, and will avoid a civil lawsuit. That's some nice lawyering, boys.

So maybe he could play this year? Normally, house arrest means you can go to work, but not necessarily if that work involves flying out of town every other weekend. Plus, once again, who knows how the NFL will react to this. Still, I don't have a lot of experience with DUI manslaughter, but I've got to believe that one month of jail time is a pretty remarkable outcome, even if he did do "everything right" in the aftermath.

Donte' Stallworth gets 1 month in jail, 2 years house arrest in DUI death [Miami Herald]

As you may have learned from the Jim Leyritz story, Florida law allows for drunk driving suspects to avoid harsher sentences if they can prove that the other party was at least partially responsible for any accidents. In other words, if a jury finds that the pedestrian who was killed contributed in some way to the incident—by jaywalking, for example—it won't matter that Stallworth was drunk. So the Cleveland wideout could see his case reduced to a misdemeanor DUI, the manslaughter charge could disappear, and he would not face prison time. His trial begins July 7.

I know Jack McCoy would never stand for that shit, but that's the real world for you.

Stallworth Pleads Not Guilty To DUI Manslaughter [CBS]

What this will mean for the rest of Stallworth's season is uncertain, but based on those early BAC readings that were circulating around, he'll probably have to do some jail time eventually. Stallworth hasn't been talking about the accident that much after he released his "grief stricken" apology to the Reyes family. Well there was also that ridiculous "I flashed my lights" statement that he gave to police after the accident, but that probably didn't earn him any sympathizers.(Seriously — most people don't even flash their lights for geese or squirrels. They just STOP.)

And as was noted before, Stallworth was part of the NFL's voluntary substance abuse program. That stay, combined with this latest incident, is probably not going to earn him any merit badges from Roger Goodell.

Donte' Stallworth expected to be charged with DUI Manslaughter [Miami Herald]

Well, inside his brain when he's on the field, anyway. The rest of the time he's on Mars.

Immediately after Mathis made the tackle, Stallworth pounded the ground and then started punching his legs as if they were defective. Stallworth said that was punishment from his alter ego, Nicco, whom Stallworth has described as an extra terrestrial being that resides on Mars when the receiver is off the field.

"Yeah, that was him," Stallworth said. "That wasn't me."

Somewhere, likely Mars, right now Nicco and the great Farney are sitting and giggling, all a-twitter about their ongoing influence in the world of professional athletics. We wish them well and hope they will spare us when the inevitable invasion occurs.

Donte' Stallworth Has An Alien Alter Ego, Is Also Insane [FanIQ]
Ryan Freel's Little Friend [Deadspin]

Not that you'd typically think of Brady, Welker or Stallworth as people who can change the landscape of an entire conference. But given that the WR position was a weak spot for the Patriots, and that Tom Brady can turn any receiver with even a modicum of talent into a near Pro Bowler, it feels significant.

I don't know. They were in the AFC Championship Game last year with a pretty flawed roster, and this year, they're actually trying. What Peyton and the Colts did this past year was really cute and everything, but I'm getting a bad vibe from the Patriots right about now.

Source: Pats sign WR Donte' Stallworth [Seattle P-I]
Brady to Stallworth—Touchdown! [The 700 Level]