Man, what are you doing? I understand that in a heist situation, speed is paramount, but the ‘ICY CHOCOLATE’ basket is right there. Why the shit would you choose an ‘ORANGE BAR’?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering poop, casual parenting, MRA athletes, and more.
Here's a bear just enjoying his day, treating himself to a nice back scratch on a big tree that is perfectly suited for back scratches (those aren't as easy to come by as you might think). Just when he was about to leave and get on with his day, something caught his eye. Waitagoddamnminute, is that a donut? Fuuuck…
I don't think I'm alone in having a love-hate relationship with donuts. In a perfect world, I would be able to eat all the donuts I like. In this one, I have to wrestle with the fact that donuts are among the worst things I could ever ingest, somewhere between baby back ribs and C-4. A box of donuts in a conference…
Good: At fan appreciation day in October, Astros fan Bob Choate won a year's supply of free doughnuts from Shipley's Do-Nuts.
Donuts don't have to be for in-mall starvation attacks, road trips, county fairs, or your office's morale-boosting "Treat Fridays" anymore. You can now whip up a sextet of luscious dough-balls right in your very own home.
As (sorta) predicted, Top Pot Doughnuts has turned a NFL's player's sugar addiction—and a fortuitous breaking and entering—into marketing gold. [Photo submitted by Seattle reader Jon.]