And we're tired of waiting. So, if you think your afternoon is full of too much sunshine and happiness, here's the audio file of T.O.'s "rap." It's in nifty MP3 format, so feel free to convert it and put it on your iPod.

It's great for those driveway sit-ups and times when you decide to destroy the livelihoods of your co-workers. Hey, like Drew Rosenhaus doesn't listen to this thing on repeat, all day.

"I'm Back" [Odeo]

The show will combine T.O.'s passion for working out with his natural curiosity about other people. Guests on the show will come from the worlds of sports, entertainment and even politics — and no subject will be off limits. The show will rely on T.O's witty personality and tendency to speak his mind and Banyan's successful track record in producing highly rated programming that strikes an emotional chord with its audience.

Oh, I think they'll certainly be able to strike that emotional chord, provided they don't mind if that chord sounds something like, "Man, I really hate that guy."

But I can't pretend like I'm not excited about seeing Drew Rosenhaus following Owens around, telling him how great he is 24 hours a day. Going with him to restaurants, telling him that he deserves the most expensive thing on the menu. Waking him up in the morning by whispering in his ear, "You are the greatest wide receiver in the NFL," progressively louder until he awakens. Losing to him intentionally while playing Madden, telling him that the XBox version of T.O. deserves to be rated higher. There is potential for great television here.

T.O. reality show? [BenMaller.com]

It's been about 48 hours since the Eagles officially gave agent Drew Rosenhaus permission to shop around his star client, Terrell Owens, and, um, let's just say this about the response so far: Drew can go to the movies without worrying about his cell phone bothering anyone.

In fact, one of Rosenhaus' own clients, Dolphins tight end Randy McMichael, went on record with his opinion on the situation in a radio interview on Wednesday:

"I don't need a guy like T.O. in the locker room. I don't need that virus like that. The guy destroyed two locker rooms already and it's only a matter of time before it happens again."

McMichael, speaking on 790 The Ticket (WAXY-AM), then added:

"I just don't want him to mess up everything we built down here."

What the Dolphins built, remember, was a 9-7 record with no playoff berth. No, can't spoil that. All we can say about the whole thing is that Owens is going to look pretty silly with his character on Madden '07 wearing this.

McMichael Takes a Shot at Owens [Sun-Sentinel]

We have sympathy, though, for Walker. Rosenhaus' problem has always been one of overambition. His goal has been less to get his clients more money and more to change the entire pay structure of the NFL, which, as has been well documented, is the least fair to its athletes in all of American professional sport. What Rosenhaus was trying to do for Walker was grab him an extension after his best season in case he ended up injured and unable to play and earn money. And you know what? That's exactly what happened to Walker. Rosenhaus might not have been successful — which is certainly becoming a trend — but it's difficult to blame Walker for what he was trying to do, considering what happened. The real question will be if Terrell Owens drops Rosenhaus in the offseason. If that happens, well, we suggest Rosenhaus strap himself up to an e-meter, consider Scientology and finally go the Jerry Maguire route, full bore.

Rosenhaus Dropped By Walker [Madison.com]

Rosenhaus sat silently in a white leather recliner, occupied with thoughts of his own. His mind worked quickly and in its own self-interests. With his eyes pointed in the direction of the television, he had thoughts like, "Man, I am really racially progressive to be spending a major holiday alone with a black guy," "I wonder if T.O. is mad at me," "I hope he wants to watch Jerry Maguire with me after dinner," and "I really like purple ties." Fighting through the heavy silence in the room, he said randomly, "I care about you, Terrell."

It's a highly entertaining read, and a great way to slowly slip out of that stuffing coma.

Thanksgiving with Terrell and Drew [The Mighty MJD]

Owens' SUPER BIGTIME IMPORTANT HISTORY MAKER agent Drew Rosenhaus has been silent so far, but, of course, we all know that won't last very long. The best part about this is that it's now possible that the Eagles will ask Owens to return $2 million of his signing bonus. So, if you're all good at math and stuff, means that not only will Owens not get the rest of the money from his contract, he might have to give back some of what he's already "earned."

Remember that trick in school, where one guy would crouch behind another one, and then a third guy would shove him backwards, forcing him to fall over? That's kind of what happened to T.O. and Rosenhaus here. The good news? There is absolutely no way anyone is going to be talking about this anymore.

Ha. Sorry. We kid.

Eagles Win Arbitration Case [NBC10]

Some legal observers think T.O. doesn't stand a chance, but others say he'll say that he did nothing extra wrong between the time he received his first suspension (which was for one game) and his second one (which was for the whole season). And it's going on right now.

Our bet? The NFLPA wouldn't even let Rosenhaus in the room. He showed up, and Gene Upshaw was like, "Uh, Drew, wait in the hall. They have bagels and coffee. Seriously. Get out of here."

Man Of Many Facets Will Decide T.O. Case [Centre Daily]
Owens To Hit Road Bloch [Fox Sports]

(Note: In our original post, we kept calling the Marriott "Mariotti." That guy has got in our freaking brain, we're telling you.)

It makes an even more compelling case that Rosenhaus is an incompetent agent than it does that he's Satan's spawn (though it does that too, of course). And hey: It worked with FireRonZook.com; they got him banished all the way to (shiver) Illinois football.

FireDrewRosenhaus.com [Official Site]
Rosenhaus' New Gig: Alito [Daily Pennsylvanian]

The best part about this is that Rosenhaus appears to have offended the one group of people who would seem unoffendable: agents.

"Some people just lose sight that it's about the client and not about them," Lepselter told the News. "Clearly that's the case here. I thought T.O. was contrite and sincere, albeit 3 to 4 days too late. But his apology was destroyed within 5 minutes by his agent's grandstanding."

A while back, we were hardly alone in suggesting that Rosenhaus might not necessarily be the most upfront guy on Earth. But he now has other agents finding him to be slime. That can't be good.

Agents Knock Drew's T.O. Show [Philly.com]

Then his agent Drew Rosenhaus took the mike and proceeded to obliterate any possible good will — and any chance of Owens ever returning to the Eagles. Where Owens was conciliatory, Rosenhaus was combative, blaming the Eagles for the damage and (mostly) blaming the media for not being fair to Terrell. Rosenhaus couldn't have destroyed T.O.'s chances of playing in Philadelphia any further than if he had accused Andy Reid of being a member of NAMBLA.

People have always whispered that Rosenhaus is the true villain in the T.O. circus, that Owens has constantly been pointed in the wrong direction. The press conference was the best evidence of that we've seen yet. We almost felt bad for T.O. One of Rosenhaus' last statements was "I am always behind Terrell, 110 percent." He was standing in front of Owens at the time.

(Update: The Eagles have said thanks, but no thanks, to T.O. He won't play for them again. Shocking.)

On Terrell's official Web site, he announces he's making the seemingly impressive gesture of selling his NFC championship ring to raise money for hurricane relief. Pretty big-hearted, right? Don't athletes work their whole careers to win rings? Rings are pretty, too.

Well ... maybe not. The Philadelphia Daily News points out that rumors have been circling for weeks that Owens was going to reject the ring anyway in protest of the Eagles refusal to renegotiate his contract. Owens — or, more likely, dark lord agent Drew Rosenhaus — figured out a way to refuse the ring and still look like he cares about the planet at large. Clever. We know all that really matters is that the money is raised, no matter the motivation behind it ... but we'll just say the next time Owens does something truly altruistic will be the first.

To My Fellow Americans and Fans [TerrellOwens.com]
T.O.'s One-Ring Circus [Philly.com]

We were trying to figure out what Rosenhaus was thinking during these interviews. Was he happy? Was he concerned? Was he calculating?

We think we've figured it out. What was Rosenhaus thinking? "I'm on TV. I'm on TV. I'm on TV. I'm on TV. T.O. I'm on TV."

Drew Rosenhaus [Wikipedia]

Letterman: "Are you old enough to remember the days when pro baseball players and pro football players finished their season, and then in the off-season they had jobs selling insurance? What's wrong with that?"

Letterman: "The balloon's getting bigger and bigger; when's it going to end? When is it going to be too much?" (applause).

Rosenhaus: "I go down to the pool. I hear frantic screaming, people crying for help. I see a little boy, drowning. I've been a lifeguard. I was able to give him CPR and save his life. See I'm not the bad guy people make me out to be. He's doing real well now. (To camera, says kid's name) How's it going little buddy?"

Letterman: "Did you get your three percent from the kid?" (Laughter, applause).

Late Show With David Letterman [CBS]

We are glad four-year-old Maurice Hill is alive and well. And we are glad the Orlando police department is so eager to credit one of the most loathed people in sport with such a deed. But ... still. Yankees' purse-snatcher Alex Rodriguez has a big series in Fenway Park in front of fans who won't to rip his limbs apart? Hey, look, he saves a kid from traffic! Rosenhaus currently the top strangulation fantasy for 95 percent of NFL employees? Hey, look, a drowning kid! We don't mean to be skeptical, or to insult the Orlando police department. We're just saying that of all the people in all of sports who could use some good publicity right now — and would potentially have the means to orchestrate it — Rosenhaus would have to be at the top of the list. But we're just saying.

Rosenhaus Saves Dying Boy [ESPN]