"J.D. is physically doing pretty well," Boston manager Terry Francona said. "I know normally you get to this time of year and you send eight or nine guys out there and just stay with it. I don't know that, the way we're built right now, that's the best way to do it."

Considering that tonight isn't a must-win for Boston, it's not really a risky move. It is, however, do or die for the Angels who face elimination tonight.

The White Sox were enjoying a 5-1 lead, but those pesky Rays have scored a couple of runs to keep themselves in contention. A win by Tampa Bay today puts them in the ALCS against the winner of the Boston/LA series and sends the White Sox home to play golf with their city brethren, the Cubs.

It's been a busy weekend and you all have been wonderful as usual. Thanks for sticking around and I'll see you in a few weeks. There isn't a live blog tonight, so consider this your open thread. Enjoy!

• No. 14 Ohio State at No. 18 Wisconsin, 8pm ET on ABC (Regional): I don't know how Wisconsin is going to handle this game without their marching band, but they'll have to buck up and move on. Each team has one loss on their record this year and can't afford to walk away with another. The question is, who's going to provide the music after Badgers touchdowns?

• No. 23 Oregon at No. 9 USC, 8pm ET on ABC (Regional): After USC's stunning loss last week, they'll be using Oregon to try and bounce back. It's also a game of vengeance as Oregon was the first ranked team to beat the Trojans last year after a 5 year run by USC. The Ducks will not make it easy for the former top dogs to climb back.

• No. 4 Missouri at Nebraska, 9pm ET on ESPN: This is the first match-up in Lincoln between these two in 30 years. Mizzou is undefeated and has a good shot at the BCS bowl game if they stay that way. Look for an air game as Nebraska attacks Missouri's 112th ranked passing defense.

Rest up for some NFL action. There isn't a live blog tonight (i don't think), so consider this your open thread. See you in the morning!

And now, for your moment of zen:

• Jam. Pittsburgh's football franchise has been fussing privately about how their helmet communication just never seems to work correctly in Cleveland. We don't see how this could have any effect on tonight's game. However, you can certainly screw with Phil's phone line. We're sure he'll love his new voice mail message: "This is Phil. Eat me."

• Be less... Paralympic. Great Britain has lost another silver medal at the Paralympics because their medalist has been ruled to be ineligible for the type of disability she claimed to have. In press release terms:

In the opinion of the functional classifier Rebecca's throwing stance was not consistent with what he saw in the shot put or the classification process and she does not meet the criteria of functional loss when she throws the discus to compete in the F38 category.

Sure. Okay. So what we're saying is to snow Phil in under a blizzard of paperwork and technicalities until his weeping brings you strength.

• Evidence. The famed All Blacks (New Zealand's national rugby team) claim a television crew from Australia recorded their practice sessions and sent the tape home to the Wallabies (Australia's squad), helping the Aussies beat New England in a huge tourney. First, videotaping is so last year. We know. However, if you can get a local TV crew to do your dirty work for you on Phil from Accounting, then you can keep your hands clean. We don't know how you'll convince them it's for the good of your country, but you'll figure it out.

Second, what are they really going to learn from this?

• Heisman winner Tim Tebow is coming off of a busy off season of hookers and blow spreading the word of God to underprivileged children. Look for beams of light from the heavens with each touchdown pass.

• Miami quarterback Robert Marve will be making his debut tonight after injuries kept him sidelined last year and a suspension held him back last week. Marve broke many of Tebow's high school records so this could be an interesting head-to-head.

• Also making his season debut is Florida star receiver Percy Harvin. Harvin had heel surgery in the spring, so we'll see how it holds up.

• Florida hasn't beaten Miami in this match-up in 23 years. Look for that streak to end tonight.

Consider this your DUAN/Open thread for the evening. I'll be back in the morning to re-cap the game and take you through a most glorious day of NFL football. Get your Tostadas ready. It's going to be an exciting ride.

******

Tonight in the comments, there will be football talk, and much rowdy behavior. Possibly alcohol will be consumed. Please clean up after yourselves, because I'd hate to come in Friday morning to a big mess. And MST3K quotes welcome.

If you'd like to learn more about how you can support Deadspin, here are some pamphlets. As always, thank you.

That's it for me and Spud. Enjoy your Labor Day. We'll do it again soon.

Everyone told us the camp would be full of bugs and we wouldn't like any of the food. We got by, though, and we even got to see the sights. Repeatedly. We're all sighted out.

Still, we mean it about those good times. We'll look back on camp later on when we're buried with responsibilities and drudgery and wish we could visit again. We know we can't, but we'll wish we could stay up all night like we did during camp, just talking.

And we're triple-pinky swearing that we're not telling our steadys what we did over the summer. We learned that ping-pong trick from the Internet, we swear.

And now our own personal closing ceremony...

Closing Ceremonies [NBC Olympics]

Regardless, we'll be up for the gold-medal match between the US and Spain because NBC has finally deemed us worthy of a live event shown at roughly the same time the event occurs. (We had assumed this was a core tenet of the phrase "live television", but The More You Know, we guess.) Therefore, we will stay up to see it out here in the Western hinterlands at 11:30 pm. (Yes, 2:30 am in the East.)

After all, it sounds like we've got as good a chance of getting lucky in the middle of the night with the team as just about anyone. (Except José Calderón. He's not even playing.)

NBC to Show Gold Medal Game Live Across the Country [Awful Announcing]
Nike asks Chinese government to identify Yahoo blogger [Technically Incorrect]

In the end, after declaring the season the fourth-greatest achievement in team history, they elected to have a private ceremony to commemorate it last Monday at Gillette Stadium. Owner Robert Kraft and team president Jonathan Kraft presented the players with rings.

In addition, a banner was made to commemorate the season, and it was unveiled at the ceremony, with Kraft pulling a rope as it came down from the ceiling.

I get it; it's tough to decide how to commemorate a near-perfect season. But make a fucking decision. Was it a perfect regular season? Or was it a Conference championship? Because it's not a perfect season. Losing the Super Bowl to Baby Manning and a tackified helmet is not a perfect season. One loss is not a perfect season. A perfect season is Megan Fox. One loss is America Ferrera. You are America Fucking Ferrera, and don't ever forget it.

Where's Mercury Morris when you need him?

Patriots Presented '18-1' Rings [Truth&Rumors]
It's 16, Going On 17 - Or 18 [The Boston Globe]

Favre took his team to the NFC championship last year. Favre has moved from the league's smallest market to its biggest. Favre is almost two years older than his head coach, Eric Mangini. And while he's quite a longshot to win football's highest prize, the week-to-week minutiae will far exceed anything one could absorb by watching a kid jump in and out of a pool. And it all starts tonight.

See you again tomorrow.

• Phelps watch 2008 continues with tonight's 4x100 free relay. After missing a gold medal four years ago in Athens, the U.S. is determined not to let it happen again. The pressure clearly rests on Phelps' teammates; a loss surely wouldn't be blamed on swimming's wonderboy

• Katie Hoff will take another shot at the gold in the 400 meter free. She already has a bronze in these Games.

• The women's gymnastics team will compete in qualifiers. Keep an eye out for high flying children.

• Diving qualifiers are also tonight. This event just makes me nervous...they always look like they're going to hit the board. And then I realize that hitting the board would be the only thing to make the event worth watching.

Thanks for hanging out with me this weekend. You've been lovely.

• Men's Swimming: Phelps takes his first shot at the gold in Beijing in the 400-meter individual medley. His teammate Ryan Lochte is tough competition for him and can steal the medal with a perfect swim.

• Women's Swimming: Naughty Aussie Stephanie Rice competes against U.S. favorites Katie Hoff and Elizabeth Beisel in the 400-meter individual medley. Phenom Dara Torres leads the U.S. team in the 4x100m free relay.

• Women's Beach Volleyball: Defending Olympic champs Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh make their first appearance in competition. No word yet on whether Bush will be in attendance.

• Men's Individual Gymnastics: Powdery little men attempt to qualify for the finals.

Enjoy the Games and DUAN. I'll see you in the morning.

Margarito Decision 23/4 (5.75/1)

The prevailing opinion is that if Margarito scores the upset it will be via knockout. He's certainly more more brawler than technician, but he is capable of scoring points with the judges. Margarito's style will sit well with everyone at ringside, and he'll be able to swing some close rounds by being the aggressor. However, the fact remains that Cotto is the champion, and the odds of an all-action fighter like Margarito taking away his belt on points are longer than Bodog is willing to give.

Margarito KO/TKO/DQ 16/5 (3.2/1)

Cotto has only been in trouble a couple of brief times in his career, he probably doesn't get enough credit for his durability. Ricardo Torres, a heavy-handed Colombian, has been the only man to put him on the canvas and Cotto got back up and knocked Torres out in the seventh. It's unlikely that Margarito will end Cotto with a single combination like he did to Kermit Cintron, but the challenger can throw enough punches to hurt Cotto over time. If you insist on going with the underdog, this isn't such a bad bet.

Cotto Decision 13/10 (1.3/1)

It's no wonder why this is the most popular pick amongst boxing writers and gamblers alike. Margarito has been defeated five times in his long career (he turned pro at 15) but he's never been knocked out. For a fighter whose primary strength is an aggressive style that's exceptionally rare. Cotto certainly has power, but as much as Cotto punished Zab Judah and Paulie Malignaggi they stayed with him for a combined 23 rounds. The payout isn't great, but don't let that steer you away. A bet of just under $39 could recoup the extra $50 charge on your cable bill.

Cotto KO/TKO/DQ 14/5 (2.8/1)

Remember all that crap about Tony never getting knocked out? Well I'm choosing to ignore it. Sure, it's not probably not the most sound decision I've ever made, I just feel like Cotto is going win this thing emphatically. I know that Margarito will never relent or back down, but that doesn't mean a referee can't stop him for his own good. I don't think Cotto is going spend much feeling (ed. note: feelings = profits) out Margarito, instead he'll start in on his free-swinging opponent early with his incapacitating hooks to the body. As the fight wears on Cotto will find more opportunities to counter-punch, eventually picking Margarito apart. He may be the toughest guy in boxing, but he's never been in against a fighter as dynamic as Miguel Angel Cotto.

Now I'm going to go kill some time watching the MMA event to get the blood flowing. If you're looking for coverage of that event Cousins of Ron Mexico is on the case at TBL.

This is your DUAN.

LeBron hoisted the Cavs onto his shoulder one more time, finishing with 45 points, but he missed a few crucial attempts late in the game. Awful Announcinghas the visuals...

As for the Celtics, they played an inspired game and Doc Rivers even managed to squeeze some valuable production from his bench. The ageless PJ Brown contributed 10 points on 4-4 shooting with six rebounds in just 20 minutes while Eddie House and James Posey contributed on both ends of the floor. Kevin Garnett was happy in his role, putting together a symmetrical line of 13 and 13. Not to be outdone, Rajon Rondo put up a line of 8/8/8 . In the end it was all about Pierce, who is finally returning to the Eastern Conference Finals. As little as I may care for the Boston sports scene, it is fun to watch Pierce and KG fighting for a ring.

Kai has few other enticing eccentricities:

What makes the Hawaiian forward crazy? Bearing in mind I had about 13 minutes to explore this topic, here's a short list: she stretched out her earlobes so she can wear 0 gauge ear plugs, she celebrated a goal during qualifying in Mexico by doing the Cha Cha in front of 27,000 Mexican fans, she refers to her occupation on her MySpace page as "RoCkStAr," she spent afternoons at Hawaii catching passes from new Redskins QB Colt Brennan (whom she calls "my best friend"), she just finished choreographing a dance routine to Michael Jackson's "Thriller" that she plans on teaching to her teammates to allow for pre-game performances, she wants to be a police officer when she quits the sport, and she once burned out on soccer and schoolwork and quit everything for a year to cook, wash dishes and wipe down tables at a college cafeteria, staying in shape by playing rugby with a men's team.

Hawtttt. So can we celebrate the remainder of Mother's Day by her having my babies?*

*Kidding. I don't want kids. She can just have sex with me.

I think no more be said in the question. I was as surprised as anyone that the Redskins drafted a tight end this year. We saw Fred Davis as a first round player that had fallen way down into the second round. The Redskins felt like it was way to much value to pass on. As a player I feel like you can never discount having the best 11 guys on the field, so if two tight ends makes up the best 11 guys I'm all for it. I will do everything I can to help Fred become the best football player for the Redskins and I think he will do a great job.

Chris, your first task is to buy your new teammate an alarm clock. Your second task is to convince them to trade him for a defensive lineman.

Cooley also fielded a question on Washington's use of a sixth round draft pick. "I know really. A punter? Hopefully he can kick the shit out of the ball." And true to blogger form, he linked to a YouTube clip of said punter kicking the shit out of the ball.

The highlight of the post came when Cooley answered a question regarding the ideal draft analyst.

I would take Mel Kiper's arrogant, know it all personality and put it into some really hot chick. The girl from the movie Transformers would be great. I would watch the draft all day.

I'm quite certain that Chris Cooley should be running either the Redskins or broadcast television. Perhaps both.

For the full questions and answers check out Cooley's official blog, Outside Football. It's like Football Outsiders only the exact opposite.

Image via Redskins Warpath

Safety Caleb Campbell was the first nonkicker from Army ever invited to take part in the NFL combine. If he didn't get drafted, he would probably be serving as a second lieutenant in Iraq or Afghanistan by year's end. But Campbell was drafted in the 7th round. By the Detroit Lions. Bit of a Pyrrhic victory, no?

All kidding aside, it's an interesting situation and one that possible only to a recent policy change.

In years past, military athletes had little hope of playing professional football due to their commitment to the service upon graduation. Army recently revised those requirements, leaving the door open for Campbell and other Cadets to pursue their dream of playing in the National Football League.

What Army has done is offer its top athletes a side door to professional sports. West Point has implemented an alternative service option program that allows cadets to turn pro — and play — right away. Cadets accepted into the program "will owe two years of active service in the Army, during which time they will be allowed to play their sport in the player-development systems of their respective organizations and be assigned to recruiting stations. If they remain in professional sports following those two years, they will be provided the option of buying out the remaining three years of their active-duty commitment in exchange for six years of reserve time."

At least with the Lions there won't be any doubts about the chances of victory.

This unfortunate youngster, other than being forced by parental duress to sport the bowl cut, was born unto a couple of deranged Spurs fans. How unhinged, exactly? Instead of buying a team photo or something to encapsulate their love for the team, they decided to put the whole roster into their kid's name.

The result: Parker Duncan Ginobili Till.

Consigned to a lifetime of being a whipped, boring, flopping disaster. Till is the family name, but it might as well be in recognition of Emmett Till for how depressing this is.

So as they watch the playoffs, San Antonio natives Rhonda (now 44) and John Till (now 40) mull names.

Parker's nice, they agree, while point guard Tony Parker does his floor general bit.

Duncan's not so bad either, John suggests, as former Wake Forest star Tim Duncan leaps over players to score a basket.

Rhonda approves. Then John goes too far.

"What about Ginobili?" he says, referring to Argentinian guard Emanuel David "Manu" Ginobili. "He's the other superstar on the team. We've got to have him in."

An adamant Rhonda says: "No way."

Several months later, Parker is born. And in what John calls a "weak moment." Rhonda consented to Ginobili.

I don't include the blockquote to add anything for the story, but to get a jump on highlighting that excerpt for court documents.

I have a sneaking suspicion this kid's life will be an endless cycle of "weak moments." And aggravated assault. Punctuated with frottage fests.

There may be no parking and no development around it, but, by cracky, the Lerners got their stadium. And D.C. got to chase all the gay clubs and small businesses away from the Navy Yard. Hooray! Gentrification isn't just for Columbia Heights! America's past pastime gets underway on its own shores and we Leitch couldn't be any happier.

Interesting that the Braves should be the inaugural opponent at the ballpark tentatively known as Nationals Park for the one-game homestand. There's the obvious Stan Kasten connection, not to mention that some are saying that the stadium evokes Turner Field.

But nuts to all that. It's baseball! Let's have Lastings Milledge and Elijah Dukes beat some people up!

UPDATE: Here's video of Bush getting booed lustily by the D.C. crowd. Hey, shock of shocks that a city that went 90 percent for John Kerry in 2004 wouldn't give Bush 43 a warm reception.

H/T: 700Level

(Note: I didn't get the running presidents gig. I knew I couldn't grow up to be president! Don't try! Quit'cher daydreamin', melonhead!)

The night before the series finale of The Wire, it's great to be treated to the whitest spectacle in college basketball, UNC versus Duke. The ACC regular season title is on the line for the fifth time in the series' history, which means the Cameron Crazies will have their rote chant sheets ready with all sorts of biting apercus to shout at Tyler Hansbrough. What were their thoughts last night when Coach K enjoined them to "concentrate on winning and being creative and supportive of our team." Video of Ratface's pep talk after the jump:

If Big Daddy Drew is to be believed, that's a subtle dig at the Jews! Right? Right?

Naturally, one must be on their best behavior when the Brothers Manning are expected to be in attendance.

Enjoy the game and go meteor.

However, I'll be spending the morning with about 50 other people at RFK Stadium trying out for a 35-game slot as one of the running presidents at Nationals games. Which one would work best for me? I imagine Christmas Abe has a certain ring to it. I'm really just hoping not to fall down in costume, really.

Brooks posits that the Big Easy should play host to the NBA All-Star Game every year. I have a hard time arguing with his reasoning, especially with the amount of a humanitarian angle the league has been trying to play up with its coverage.

The Big Easy needs the business, the NBA needs a nice PR play, and the city has a favorable demographic and facility for the game. Perfect fit.

What's the point of playing the damn thing in Portland or Minneapolis or Denver when most of the city doesn't care? That wouldn't be the case in New Orleans.

No All-Star Game in Memphis? I won't hear it!

The past two days have been so much fun that they've reminded me of nothing if not... groin shots. One long string of groin shots. Now, I know this "too-hot-for-TV" beer ad has made the rounds, but — just like the genre was at the Springfield Film Festival — you simply can't get enough of it. I figured while you're waiting for Sopranos (or, OK if you insist, the NBA Finals), it'll give you something to occupy your time.

Thanks to Will for the chance to pinch-hit this weekend (and to MJD for taking a weekend off — though I look forward to his return next weekend with a renewed appreciation for his abilities). Mostly, thanks to the combination of tipsters, Commenters and readers who made the weekend one of the most enjoyable (if pressure-packed) I have experienced in a long time.

Hope to catch you at DanShanoff.com, where you can find much of this same type of shallow analysis I've given you all weekend on a daily morning basis. Otherwise, enjoy your evenings, and I'll catch you at my place (or at Deadspin in the Comments sections) sometime soon.
— D.S.

Worst. Ratings. Ever.

(You knew I had to get one in before the day was over.)

Technically, it was the worst TV ratings ever for a Game 1 in NBA Finals history. Overall, it was the third-least-watched Finals game ever. You have to go back to 1981 to find a lower-rated game in NBA Finals history. And consider that was in the pre-cable era, let alone pre-Internet.

What does it mean? It means that contrary to the loud voices you hear propping up the theory, LeBron James - for all of his amazingness - doesn't move the needle. (Not even when they run the game on every network in the extended family.)

At least, he doesn't move the needle enough. If the NBA and its TV partners want to spin this positively, they can consider what the ratings would have been like WITHOUT LeBron, if the Pistons had won the East.

But make no mistake: It's not a good sign for the NBA. And if they figure things can't possibly get worse for Game 2, they could be very wrong: They programmed the game against the series finale of the Sopranos.

Normally, I would say that sports are TiVo-proof and scripted shows are what you TiVo and watch the next day. However, in this case, the Sopranos finale is so huge that you won't want to have NOT watched it live.

Since watching TiVo'ed sports pretty much sucks, that means it is sizing up as a zero-sum decision from 9-10 p.m. ET: You either watch the Sopranos or watch the NBA. I know what I think is going to happen.

And so the question is: Can it really get worse than "worst?" Answer: Yes.

This has been great everyone. Thanks for the comments and tips. Keep 'em coming. I'll see you all in the a.m.
— D.S.

Game 1 Third-Lowest-Rated Finals Game [SportsMediaWatch]