It has been well established that the Adelman kids do two things well—coach basketball and drive drunk. (And they don't really coach basketball that well.) David was the head coach at Lincoln High in Portland, Oregon, back in February when he was nailed for his second career DUI charge. But on the first day of his trial this week, his lawyer claimed that the only reason police pulled him over that night is because the wealthy father of one of Adelman's players had hired a private investigator to tail Adelman to a bar, wait until he got drunk, then call 911 when he left in his car.

Adelman's lawyer says it was all part of a campaign "to discredit, subvert, harass and ultimately cause the firing of David Adelman." The lawyer for the parent says, "Um ... duh." However, he claims that everyone knew Adelman was a drunk, but that the principal, the school board and the police wouldn't listen. In David's defense, Big Daddy Rick showed up to testify that the parent—Portland financier (a.k.a., "obnoxious rich guy") John Lekas—was a menace who threatened to get his son fired. Rick actually met with Lekas to try and reason with him and later wrote, "I have seen many disgruntled parents over the years, but I have never seen anyone as vindictive as you."

Of course, there's nothing illegal about watching someone get drunk and then calling the cops on them and Adelman was clearly hammered, but his lawyer argues that without the phone call, police had no probable cause to pull him over. The cops even admitted that they did not see the moving violation that allegedly led to the traffic stop. So was Lekas looking out for his boy's roster spot or his personal safety?

"They want to paint this as being all about John Lekas' kid not getting playing time. That's not the issue," [Lekas' lawyer] said. "We have a lot of rich, arrogant people in this case," Layne said, "and they're not all on my client list."

The moral of the story? Never get involved in high school sports, ever. This soap opera is to be continued ....

Private eye hired by parent at center of Lincoln High coach's trial [The Oregonian]

Ronald Jones was pulled over after he was spotted driving erratically in the Dallas suburb of Richardson. He failed a field sobriety test, but "declined" to take a breathalyzer....

And then according to police, it got ugly.

"When the officers went to place the handcuffs on Mr. Jones he did resist by moving his hand forward instead of behind his back. They were forced to take him to the ground to get better control of him and he did sustain some injuries to his face," Wakefield said.

Did you hear that? He moved his hand! Glad to see the officers keep the dangerous tasers in the holster and handle things the old fashioned way. Jones was charged with driving while intoxicated, but not with resisting arrest since that one has already been taken care of.

Ronald Popeye Jones Charged with DWI [My Fox DFW]

Seriously: Adelman's son David was arrested for his second DUI back in February. Adelman's other son, RJ, was arrested for a DUI back in 2007.

Naro resigned from her position after last week's arrest because it was her second offense within the year, and one that violated the conditions of her diversion program she entered last year — a legal deal hashed out by the judge in lieu of heftier charges. Of course, the most important condition of that deal was that Naro, you know, not get busted for another DUI.

Proud papa Rick hasn't made any comment on his daughter's arrest nor on the troubling frequency of his brood's enjoyment of boozin' and cruisin'. But outside of "I guess we shouldn't have nursed them with Wild Turkey" he probably couldn't offer much insight into the situation.

Jesuit Coach Adelman Naro Resigns After Second DUI Arrest [OregonLive]

The Nuggets forward was jailed by Florida cops on Saturday morning after refusing to submit to a blood alcohol test on suspicion of a DUI.

After averaging under 5 points per game as Isiah Thomas' first round "sleeper"in 2006, the Knicks' banished Balkman to Denver in a salary dump-for "cash considerations" and two players to be cut later.

Denver Post via Weed Against Speed

As you may have learned from the Jim Leyritz story, Florida law allows for drunk driving suspects to avoid harsher sentences if they can prove that the other party was at least partially responsible for any accidents. In other words, if a jury finds that the pedestrian who was killed contributed in some way to the incident—by jaywalking, for example—it won't matter that Stallworth was drunk. So the Cleveland wideout could see his case reduced to a misdemeanor DUI, the manslaughter charge could disappear, and he would not face prison time. His trial begins July 7.

I know Jack McCoy would never stand for that shit, but that's the real world for you.

Stallworth Pleads Not Guilty To DUI Manslaughter [CBS]

It happened in Clairemont just after 2:30 a.m., as Jackson was headed east on state Route 52 near Interstate 805, for all of you Marpquest enthusiasts. Jackson was driving a 2008 GMC Sierra. Jackson, who was booked into county jail and released, faces the misdemeanor DUI allegations as well as charges that he was driving on probation for a prior DUI.

Then, this very odd quote from Chargers general manager A.J. Smith:

Though Jackson was held without a catch in Saturday night's wild-card victory over the Indianapolis Colts, Smith called him a true professional and ultimate team player the next day.

"Vincent gave 100 percent effort every snap all night," Smith said. "Every route was to perfection. He never pouted, never displayed frustration. You win championships with players like Vincent Jackson."

Slightly different from what my high school football coach told me whenever I was held without a catch: "Chandler, be sure to separate the whites from the colors before taking all these bins to the laundry."

Wide Receiver Jackson Arrested For DUI [San Diego Union Tribune]

You know the old saying: nothing good ever happens at 1 a.m. in Nebraska. Well, Yankees pitcher Joba Chamberlain found out the hard way last night, as his evening ended with him in handcuffs.

Joba Chamberlain was arrested for driving under the influence early Saturday morning near his hometown of Lincoln, Neb.

Deborah Collins, a spokeswoman for the Nebraska State Patrol, said that the 23-year-old Chamberlain was pulled over after being observed speeding in a 2006 BMW 750i shortly after 1 a.m. on U.S. 77. Chamberlain was arrested after an odor of alcohol was detected and an open container of alcohol was observed on the front passenger seat.

As if the Yanks weren't having a hard enough time after a disastrous season, and now helplessly watching as their arch rivals rise from the dead in the ALCS.

Charges are expected to be filed on Monday for the 23-year old.

Chamberlain arrested in Nebraska [The LoHud Yankees Blog]

NOOOOOOO! [3:10 To Joba]

Up until this point Kelly was a success story. An undrafted free agent in 2004, Kelly worked his way into the rotation and eventually landed a huge contract. A huge contract coming off a serious knee injury, but why quibble with that? Anyway, the tension in Oakland grows anew. Maybe Kelly can play quarterback. Or head coach.

Oakland Raiders Tommy Kelly arrested for DUI [CBS 5]

Metro Nashville police said Kearse was seen speeding and swerving several times while travelling west on West End Avenue.

The officer who pulled the Titans over said Kearse exhibited slurred speach, red eyes, and smelled of alcohol. He reportedly refused a breath test.

The officer said Kearse stated that he only had one vodka and a red bull.

That's unfortunate for everyone involved. It makes you wonder how many cases of Bud Jevon had to drink to score that killer boat.

via FanHouse

The sad details:

Fort Lauderdale authorities got a call at 3:20 a.m. that a crash occurred in the city's entertainment district, [Detective Kathy] Collins said. She said Leyritz was driving a 2006 Ford Expedition when he collided at an intersection with 30-year-old Fredia Ann Veitch of Plantation, who was driving a 2000 Mitsubishi Motero.

Veitch was ejected from the car, police said. She died at Broward General Medical Center, Collins said.

Witnesses told police Leyritz had a red light. Officers on the scene observed Leyritz to have red, watery eyes, a flushed face and an odor of alcohol, police said.

Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday to you,
Happy birthday, you stupid fucking idiot,
It really should have been you

Woman Dead After Jim Leyritz Crash [The Smoking Gun]
Ex-Yankee Leyritz Charged With DUI, Killing Another Driver [Yahoo! Sports]

And, in the article the Arizona police department went on to say that Tyson showed "showed more signs of impairment", which included smacking Robert Downey, Jr., who attempted to awkwardly make out with the former champion after Tyson failed a field sobriety test.

Tyson Arrested on DUI Charges [ABC News]
Mike Tyson Arrested on DUI, Drug Charges [USA Today]