Is it also because the Blue Devils always have guys with names like Miles Plumlee and Olek Czyz and have fans that are legendary for annoying the crap out of people and then they say things like this in the locker room after de-pantsing a bunch of helpless Presbyterians by 31 points.

“Tonight, (it) just wasn’t there. That’s on us,” [Sophomore Kyle] Singler [19 pts., 10 boards] said. “Our standards weren’t met tonight, and we’ve just got to come back tomorrow with a different attitude, a different mind-set. I know we will.”

Did I mention they won? But cut them some slack people. They just want to do better. For you.

By the way, this is the picture on the front page of the Presbyterian College website that, believe it or not, is actually used to entice impressionable young minds to attend their school.

Maybe you should be thanking the Blue Devils instead of criticizing them, huh?

No. 8 Duke ‘just off’ in blowout victory [AP/Yahoo]
Blue Hose Drop Season Opener to #5 Duke [Go Blue Hose]

P.S. I'm still taking links to individual team previews. There have been several submissions already and we're hoping to have a nice roundup later in the week. Send URLs to dashiell@deadspin.com

Currently ranked No. 8 in the country (because why the hell not?) the Coach K Krew is hosting the "Durham Regional" of this tournament that used to be just two unrelated games and not a 16-team bracket. I remember that because I am old—so old that I also remember when there was no 3-point line in college basketball and when the addition of that line changed the game forever. It was a huge deal at the time that has since become a joke, as it feels like every team nowadays takes more threes than twos. Now after 22 seasons and countless Valparaiso rallies, the three-point line is being moved back one foot—to 20'9"—which will spread defenses, clog the middle, turn mediocre shooters into bad ones, turn decent shooters into legends, kill the mid-majors, keep underdogs in games, eliminate furious comebacks, and make the 6'10" forward who likes to step out and take the long J obsolete. Or make him the most valuable player on the floor. You never really know with these things.

The best part, though, is that the women's line on those shared courts remains unchanged, which should lead to some hilarious Keystone Cop-like confusion. I can't wait for the first buzzer beater that isn't, because some hapless forward pulls up one foot too late and drains a very long two, when his team needed a three to tie.

The Duke game will be televised on ESPNU, which is kind of a shame when you think about it. Doesn't college basketball deserve some sort of nationwide opening night spectacle, complete with cheerleaders, Dick Vitale and a performance by Third Eye Blind? If half the schools in the country can sell out a practice in the middle of the night, surely we can get a tip-off game in primetime, right?

Moving One Foot Back Could Make the 3-Pointer a Long Shot [NY Times]
A Little Preseason Bracketology… [Rush The Court]
The New Season Is Here, One Last Preview Before Tip-Off [Storming The Floor]

P.S. I'm too disorganized to put together a team-by-team preview, even of the Top 25, but if you have you own blog and have a written breakdown of your favorite Division I team, send me a link and I'll try to compile as many of them as I can into one roundup later this week.. Again, we're not putting them directly on Deadspin ... just send me links. Get your own blog; it's not that hard!

According to a story in the New York Post, Giuliani was an "entitled" bully who pretty much got what was coming to him.

One of the first things Vincent did as coach was meet with each of the 13 players for four to five hours to go over the "very thick athlete code of conduct," the source said. Each player agreed in writing to obey the rules. But Andrew soon became disruptive, teammates said. "There was a lot of bullying," the source said. "I guess the guys didn't dislike him; they were cautious of him. He just kind of got a little pushy."

Andrew was accused of hurting two teammates in a football game and allegedly threw an apple at a teammate, sparking a fistfight. "When I heard he was kicked off, I knew it wasn't the end of it," said teammate Eric Schultz. "Andrew's the kind of guy to take action." The suit accuses Vincent of trumping up charging, including that Andrew threw and broke a club. Andrew claims the club just snapped as he leaned on it.

When Chris Farley depicts you in an SNL sketch, I guess you have a reputation to live up to. Although Andrew always reminded me more of Syndrome:

Teed-Off Rudy Son 'A Bully' [New York Post]

Seriously: The women's restrooms at Duke games this year — since it's football, you're looking at an attendance of about 45 people — will actually have attendants.

The trailers, which the university customarily rents for events related to alumni weekends, are air-conditioned and even feature an attendant, said Chris Kennedy, Duke's senior associate athletic director. "They're a lot nicer than what we have now," Kennedy said. "It's the high end, the gold standard."

The eight trailers, each of which with six stalls, will be placed around Wallace Wade Stadium near current restroom facilities. For the moment, men are out of luck: They must still brave the original facilities, which were installed with the stadium in 1929.

This is important, because if there's one thing that's important at a Duke football game, it's the bathrooms.

Toilets The Lap Of Luxury [News And Observer]

I went to a Wizards game the other night, and despite the fact that Gilbert Arenas made a surprise return to the lineup, the crowd was comatose for pretty much the whole night. When the Bucks shot free throws, the Verizon Center crew put up a collage of Duke images — Paulus, Coack K, etc. — on the scoreboard to get the crowd to boo, and it worked like magic. I'm not kidding. That really happened.

OK, that's freaking brilliant. Pumping up the crowd to be angry and loud by simply showing images of Duke. We knew Duke was unpopular. We didn't know they were that unpopular.

Needless to say, the Wizards have no Dookies on their roster.

The Fynal Say: Josh Levin [The Fynal Cut]

Watch as Duke's Gerald Henderson runs over to clobber the Mountaineers' Cam Thoroughman from behind. Thoroughman (6-foot-7, 215) doesn't take to that too well, and ... whoa! Did you see that, ref? Air shove!

But we kid Duke. The tournament just would not be the same without you guys. It's already not, actually.

Another Duke Flop Found [Awful Announcing]

A No. 15 seed beating a No. 2 seed is one thing, but when that No. 2 seed is Duke, we'd be talking history. We watched the whole game and, to be clear, there weren't many moments when we thought that Duke wasn't the better team. But that's how these things go down; the right trey falls at the right time, the right turnover happens, and it all comes tumbling down. It was all set up for Belmont last night ... and then Gerald Henderson took over on one play, and he looked like he was the one grownup who understood the stakes. It was enough to make Mr. Amy Grant cry.

(By the way, Vince is looking a little rough.)

So the first day of the tournament went down without any major upsets; if the biggest surprise is a win by a team with the best freshman in the country, nothing's too shocking. A Belmont win would have stood as the signature moment of this year's tournament, and several years to come. Now watch Duke, having looked death in the eye, go and win the whole thing now.

1 UCLA vs. 16 Mississippi Valley State (Anaheim)
If the 16 over 1 is ever going to happen this would be the most shocking one possible as the Delta Devils boast a 17-15 overall record and five 30-plus point losses to teams that either reached the dance or just missed. That includes a 71-26 point drubbing in Pullman to Washington State, a team the Bruins beat twice this season in the Pac-10.
The Pick: UCLA

8 BYU vs. 9 Texas A&M (Anaheim)
The player to see here is BYU big man Trent Plaisted. He's shown this year he can get the job done against prime competition, averaging a double-double against this year's field (MSU, L'Ville, and UNC). On the other side it's a bit of a tossup as the Aggies still lack the go-to threat they lost when Acie Law graduated after last season. Donald Sloan tries to fill the role, but his inability to do so has been a big part of the Aggies' inconsistency as a whole. If he's not hitting from the perimeter, the Cougar defense will key inside and make it almost impossible for A&M to win.
The Pick: BYU

5 Drake vs. 12 Western Kentucky (Tampa)
The Hilltoppers can play with anyone. Courtney Lee is one of the nation's top seniors and he can do it all, be it shoot from outside, rebound, or break down the defense off the dribble and get to the rim. The team as a whole can score in bunches, but it's that all-too-necessary defense that seems to get in the way. I think most people know what Drake can do at this point. They're one of the country's best three-point shooting squads, yet their most valuable player - Adam Emmenecker - attempted only two all season (he missed them both). He's a bit of a poor man's Steve Nash, as he makes the engine go while Josh Young and Jonathan Cox light up the scoreboard. WKU can certainly beat Drake if their shots aren't falling, but I think the Bulldogs will be ready to play.
The Pick: Drake

4 Connecticut vs. 13 San Diego (Tampa)
If you're searching hard for that upset special out west this may be the one. The Toreros' Brandon Johnson is a do-it-all guard who handles the ball at all times and possesses a smooth stroke from all over the court. The problem is a lack of consistent help as Freshmen Rob Jones and Trumaine Johnson aren't ready for prime time just yet, a fact that makes their WCC Tourney win that much more impressive. UConn has an enormous defensive presence in supreme shot blocker Hasheem Thabeet alongside Jeff Adrien. A.J. Price has been fantastic running the point. Add to that a continuously improving Stanley Robinson and San Diego looks like a real long shot. But hey, it's a shot.
The Pick: UConn

6 Purdue vs. 11 Baylor (Washington D.C.)
Despite their success this year in the sloth-styled Big Ten, many don't seem to think Purdue is a real threat to make some noise this year. Part of that is the four freshmen they rely heavily on to get the job done. In addition, none of their players jump out at you defensively. They're a polar opposite to their opponent across the board. While certainly not tourney experienced, the Bears (last appeared in 1988) start four juniors including work horse guard Curtis Jerrells. Jerrells can score with the best guards in the country and he's got super frosh LaceDarius Dunn to help out off the bench. Factor in the pair of seven-footers the Bears rotate and the defense starts to look good as well. It's a very balanced squad that goes 10 deep and relies heavily on upperclassmen. Hmm... smells like an upset doesn't it?
The Pick: Baylor

3 Xavier vs. 14 Georgia (Washington D.C.)
As fun as Georgia's run through the SEC tourney was to watch, I'm not sure it'll translate to the big dance with Xavier sitting on the other bench. The Musketeers are loaded and just about everyone can shoot the three and play in your face defense. The big question is the teams engine Drew Lavender, who's been slowed by injury recently. Leading to a pair of losses to St. Joe's over the last week, but all indications point to the semifinal tourney loss being a good thing, as it gave him time to rest. If he's good to go I have little reservation about Xavier reaching the Elite 8. Remember this team gave Ohio State their toughest test of the tournament last season and they're even better this year. Stanley Burrell, the teams best defender, should give Georgia's top player Sundiata Gaines fits all day and with Gaines' tendency to force shots it doesn't look good. All that said I think this could be a tougher game for Xavier than the possible Duke match up, despite Georgia's 4 SEC regular season wins.
The Pick: Xavier

7 West Virginia vs. 10 Arizona (Washington D.C.)
While Arizona's final profile doesn't look overly spectacular they can get the job done on both ends of the floor. In large part due to the defensive emphasis interim coach Kevin O'Neil has brought to the team. Their also tested as they played the nations 2nd toughest schedule. Nearly knocking off UCLA, Memphis and Kansas (in Lawrence) this season. The biggest of their offensive cogs is freshman Jerryd Bayless who may finally get the national recognition he deserves if the 'Cats can advance. He's dropped thirty multiple times this season and looks a lot like Arizona alums Gilbert Arenas and Mike Bibby (more Bibby). With West Virginia it all starts and ends with Joe Alexander. If he gets hot their may not be anyone in the country who can slow down the versatile big man. If he can't get going though it could be a long afternoon for West Virginia as they lack a second option as strong as Arizona's Chase Budinger. All in all it looks like the definition of a pick 'em.
The Pick: Arizona

2 Duke vs. 15 Belmont (Washington D.C.)
Belmont does one thing well and that's shoot, but so Duke and they have a solid frontcourt that Belmont can't compete with. If Belmont to pull the upset they'll need a shoot day for the ages and with Duke's defense I just don't think it happens. But expect Duke to have all kinds of trouble with teams like Xavier and Arizona should they advance as the Blue Devils struggle quite a bit against athletic point guards.
The Pick: Duke

Some West Region Superlatives...

Dark Horse for Final Four: Xavier
Dark Horse for Sweet 16: Arizona
Best First Round Upset: Baylor over Purdue
Best Opening Round Game: Arizona-West Virginia
Best Potential Game: UCLA-Xavier
Round of 32: UCLA over BYU, Drake over UCONN, Xavier over Baylor, Duke over Arizona
Sweet 16: UCLA over Drake, Xavier over Duke
Elite Eight: UCLA over Xavier
Regional Champ: UCLA

DUKE BLUE DEVILS

1. It's Pronounced "SHY-er fah-SAY." Photos of it are center (and roommate) Brian Zoubek's desktop background. "Weird," says guard Gerald Henderson. "It's just weird." They're referring, of course, to the infamous (Jon) Scheyer Face, found on the mug of Duke's sixth man. Judging only by his expressions, Scheyer passes a basketball like Al Swearengen passes his kidney stones. Still, at least he always looks like he's trying out there. Scheyerfacing is a fond pastime of opposing ACC fans, largely because PhotoShop doesn't require basic literacy to use. Two of my personal favorites are here. In other news referencing famous pictures of Duke hoopsters, here's your annual Reggie Love update.

2. How's That Working Out For You? Are you a fan of the Idaho Stampede? By gum, you ought to be! They're having a great season, leading their division in the NBA's D-League over such luminaries as the Los Angeles D-Fenders and the Bakersfield Jam. They've got Brent "Air Georgia" Petway. Their dance team has, I have to assume, some of the hottest girls in The Gem State (this is my only point of comparison). Most important, they've provided former McDonald's All-American POTY and current stiff Josh McRoberts with more playing time than he's had on his nominal NBA team, the Portland Trail Blazers. (I found this fact listed under the "Charitable Works" portion of their webpage.) Josh got his $400K salary, the Blazers got a valuable 2 points per game (lookin' good, J-Mac!), and Duke's leaps and bounds better than it was last year, when it spent most of the season slowly collapsing, like a flan in the cupboard. (Not my joke.) I believe a true teacher, a coach, a leader who just happens to be a manager, calls that a "win-win-win."

3. Running With The... You Know. The last couple years I've avoided citing actual "basketball" "facts," partially because my knowledge of hoops theory is lacking (I think turnovers are first and foremost a tasty dessert) but mostly because most Duke teams of the Coach K Era have been struck from the same mold: saunter casually up the court, swing a couple of cursory passes, then get it in to Brand/Boozer/Williams or out to Laettner/Dunleavy/Redick. You might be surprised to hear that they're actually running this year. A lot. Over 75 possessions a game (thanks KenPom) puts them in the top 10 for tempo nationwide. Frosh Kyle Singler is effective anywhere on the court, Henderson and DeMarcus Nelson are providing blow-by speed inside, and most importantly, Greg Paulus has reduced his TOs from 3.2 a game his first two seasons to 1.7 this year. All of these numbers likely won't change your frothing hatred (especially if you're from Chapel Hill, College Park, Lexington or, uh, anywhere that's not Durham) but it's worth noting as you fill your bracket: even though Duke's a donut this year, it's one of those high-class fancy donuts. A cruller, maybe. That likes to play up-tempo. See why I don't do analysis?

EXTRA SPECIAL BONUS FACT BROUGHT TO YOU BY MIKE PATRICK: Did you know Greg Paulus was a high school quarterback? It's true! A quarterback! In high school! How wild is that? I hear he threw for like, four hundred thousand yards. Player of the decade. Crazy! Quarterback quarterback quarterback quarterback quarterback. — Matt DeTura

BELMONT BRUINS

1. Wait... The Atlantic Sun is Perhaps Not A Powerhouse Conference? Belmont has ranked in the top 10 nationally in three-point field goals per game seven of the last 10 years. The Bruins are fourth this year at 10.6 three-pointers per game. HOWEVUH, when it mattered (in their NCAA appearances the last two seasons), they shot 6-26 (.231) against Georgetown and 4-19 (.211) against UCLA. No. 2 seeds nationwide should be licking their chops for the Bruins and their good karma, as their first round competition went on to win their region the last two years. So try not to screw up all that momentum, Team That Gets Belmont This Year.

2. Dick Vitale is Shopping For A Bear Suit As We Speak. Bruins head coach Rick Byrd, associate head coach Casey Alexander, assistant coach Brian Ayers and assistant coach Roger Idstrom have been together for eight years now, which makes them tied for the longest tenured coaching staff (head coach and top three assistants) in the country. And what other tiny school are they tied with? Duke head coach Mike Kryzyzewski, associate head coach Johnny Dawkins, assistant coach Chris Collins and assistant coach Steve Wojciechowski (Wojo!) have also been together eight years as a staff.

3. Too Bad D-1 Schools Don't Have Varsity Kickball Programs. Sophomore Stefan Baskin spent his freshman year as an average everyday student at the University of Tennessee. He didn't play for Bruce Pearl and the Vols though. Like most freshman he was just hanging out, doing the whole traveling motivational speaker thing. However, in his spare time he was wining the intramural 3-on-3 hoops championship at UT. Now he's a non-scholarship player at Belmont and going to the tourney. A quick reminder to all: Please remember this is not normal and to keep laughing at people who take intramurals too seriously. — Sager Bombs

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2. How's That Working Out For You? Are you a fan of the Idaho Stampede? By gum, you ought to be! They're having a great season, leading their division in the NBA's D-League over such luminaries as the Los Angeles D-Fenders and the Bakersfield Jam. They've got Brent "Air Georgia" Petway. Their dance team has, I have to assume, some of the hottest girls in The Gem State (this is my only point of comparison). Most important, they've provided former McDonald's All-American POTY and current stiff Josh McRoberts with more playing time than he's had on his nominal NBA team, the Portland Trail Blazers. (I found this fact listed under the "Charitable Works" portion of their webpage.) Josh got his $400K salary, the Blazers got a valuable 2 points per game (lookin' good, J-Mac!), and Duke's leaps and bounds better than it was last year, when it spent most of the season slowly collapsing, like a flan in the cupboard. (Not my joke.) I believe a true teacher, a coach, a leader who just happens to be a manager, calls that a "win-win-win."

3. Running With The... You Know. The last couple years I've avoided citing actual "basketball" "facts," partially because my knowledge of hoops theory is lacking (I think turnovers are first and foremost a tasty dessert) but mostly because most Duke teams of the Coach K Era have been struck from the same mold: saunter casually up the court, swing a couple of cursory passes, then get it in to Brand/Boozer/Williams or out to Laettner/Dunleavy/Redick. You might be surprised to hear that they're actually running this year. A lot. Over 75 possessions a game (thanks KenPom) puts them in the top 10 for tempo nationwide. Frosh Kyle Singler is effective anywhere on the court, Henderson and DeMarcus Nelson are providing blow-by speed inside, and most importantly, Greg Paulus has reduced his TOs from 3.2 a game his first two seasons to 1.7 this year. All of these numbers likely won't change your frothing hatred (especially if you're from Chapel Hill, College Park, Lexington or, uh, anywhere that's not Durham) but it's worth noting as you fill your bracket: even though Duke's a donut this year, it's one of those high-class fancy donuts. A cruller, maybe. That likes to play up-tempo. See why I don't do analysis?

EXTRA SPECIAL BONUS FACT BROUGHT TO YOU BY MIKE PATRICK: Did you know Greg Paulus was a high school quarterback? It's true! A quarterback! In high school! How wild is that? I hear he threw for like, four hundred thousand yards. Player of the decade. Crazy! Quarterback quarterback quarterback quarterback quarterback. — Matt DeTura

We can't imagine Duke feels too bad today; they split the series, after all, and this team clearly isn't going down in the first round to Virginia freaking Commonwealth.

The real highlight of the game, of course, was hearing broadcaster Dan Shulman being forced to apologize for the "Speedo Guy" that ESPN had been showcasing all weekend.

See, now, ESPN, this is what happens when you try to have fun; everyone just gets offended. Tough spot to be in.

Yup, the magic of Speedo Guy and his Cameron crotch chops didn't prove enough to turn away the Tar Heels (though I did turn away).

It's always a celebration when Dook goes down, but even more so when you can wash it down with more pics of Scheyer Face.

You know, the program here at Duke is unlike any other program in Division I basketball. I know other coaches like to tell kids like you that you'll get starter's minutes the second you enroll here, but we don't do that here at Duke. You may start your freshman year, true, but I'm not going to put you out on that court unless I know you're in a position to succeed. I WANT you to succeed. I WANT you to play at your best. Which is why I'm not going to make any empty promises to you. I'd like to think we're a different kind of program in that regard. Yes, I'm here to help you succeed in basketball, but I'm also here to provide kids like you with a game plan for...

Hey! Hey, ref! WHAT THE FUCK KINDA CALL WAS THAT, YOU FUCKING JEW FUCK! Yeah, that's what I fucking called you! Whatsa matter, you don't like it? Tough fucking shit, you fucking bagel-eater! You gonna kick me out of MY goddamn arena, you fucking piece of shit?! You think the 9,314 people sitting here are just gonna let your Jew ass walk out that fucking door?! SWALLOW THE FUCKING WHISTLE OR I'LL FUCKING INTERN ALL YOUR LITTLE JEW BABIES!...

(Cameron Crazies start chanting "CHOO CHOO!")

Sorry, bit of business to tend to there for a moment. Anyway, as I was saying, we at Duke don't think of our program as a team. We think of it as a family. But I'm sure a lot of programs are like that. At Duke, we strive to be a bit more unique in that regard. I don't want you to think of the team as a your immediate family, but I want you to think of the rest of the University as your EXTENDED family. The faculty, the students, even the facilities staff. At Duke, we stress the student first and the athlete second. I want you to think of yourself as an individual, and not merely a cog in some big-time NCAA program. It's been my philosophy here for 28 years: IT'S ALL ABOUT THE KIDS. That means emphasizing making you a good person, and not just a good...

FOUL! FOUL! FOUL! FOUL! How the fuck did you not call that foul, you fucking Jew mongrel shitbag? What, did you listen to your fucking blackie friend over on the baseline? Where is that asshole's discipline? Was he too busy staring at all the young white women in MY crowd? He's not allowed to do that! TRAIN YOUR GODDAMN NEGROES, LIKE I TRAINED THOMAS HILL, YOU FUCKING MAUREEN-DOWD-READING JEW COCKPULLER!...

(Cameron Crazies start chanting "WHO'S YOUR MAM-MY?")

What I hope to instill in you is a sense of self-discipline and appreciation of teamwork on the court that can easily translate to how you conduct yourself in all other arenas of life. I've always said to all our kids, you won't be playing this game forever. I'm different from other coaches like that. If I haven't adequately prepared you to succeed OFF the court, it doesn't matter how many games we win. I want all our kids to have a successful life, even if that means they come here and never step on the court. Lots of our kids have gone on to great careers in fields like finance, or investment banking, or stockbroking, or trading, or investment trading, or financial stockbroking. The options are limitless, and we have an alumni network that is HUGELY supportive. I think in many ways that's my proudest accomplishment as coach: seeing these kids mature into...

YOU FUCKING JEW COCKSUCKER! You are trying to STEAL this game from my kids, you fucking stitched-up twat! This happened all the time to my fucking parents when they were in Poland. Some fucking tricky Jew would ask for their help, but they'd use their sneaky Jew phrasing to screw them over later! I won't let you Jew my kids out of this game! This campus is 10 percent Jewish, BUT WE KEEP THOSE KIDS IN THEIR OWN FRATS FOR A REASON! I'M STRIDENTLY AGAINST ABORTION UNLESS IT MEANS THE GRADUAL PHASEOUT OF YOUR FUCKING SPECIES, CHRIST-KILLER!...

(Cameron Crazies start chanting "WE HATED YOU IN JEW-NO")

Now, you're gonna have to work hard. All our kids work hard. But the reason they work hard is because they see the end result of all that dedication. And, again, I'm not just talking about basketball. We're different here at Duke. I want you to dedicate yourself not just to game study, or your classes. I want you to dedicate yourself to your relationships, and your intramural activities. There's so MUCH here to take advantage of, and all our kids do. If you look at our team now, you'll see an enormously diverse group. Some of them are from New Jersey. Some are from Connecticut. Some are from New York. And a couple more are from New Jersey. And they all have divergent interests. Jordan Davidson likes Coldplay, whereas David McClure prefers David Gray. And, the irony is, it's this shared dedication among them all that allows them to be so different! Isn't that amazing?...

TEN SECONDS! TEN SECONDS! TEN SECONDS! His foot was over the line? FUCK YOU. Fuck you and you fucking family and FUCK your children and FUCK whatever children they end up having, which I hope is none. You are a fucking mold on our society, you fucking Jew bastard. You are no longer welcome here at Cameron. I hope one of our students finds you and douses you with kerosene and lights you aflame in front of your wife...

(Cameron Crazies start chanting "JEW'RE EN FUEGO!")

So that's the pitch. Like I said, my focus is completely on our kids. If I never win another basketball game again, but kids still turn out great, then I feel like I've done my job. And I think Duke is different in that regard. Don't you?...

Es ist ganz gleich, aus wessen Judenkopf diese Enthüllungen stammen, maßgebend aber ist, daß sie mit geradezu grauenerregender Sicherheit das Wesen und die Tätigkeit des Judenvolkes aufdecken und in ihnen inneren Zusammenhägen sowie dan letzten Schlußzielen darlegen!!!

(slams fist on scoring table)

Die beste Kritik an ihnen jedoch bildet die Wirklichkeit! Wer die geschichtliche Entwicklung der letzten hundert Jahre von den Gesichtspunkten dieses Buches aus überprüft, dem wird auch das Geschrei der jüdischen Presse sofort verständlich werden. Denn wenn dieses Buch erst einmal Gemeingut eines Volkes geworden sein wird, darf die jüdische Gefahr auch schon als gebrochen gelten!!!!

(slams fist on scoring table)

(Cameron Crazies start chanting "DEATH TO THE JEWS!")

Like I said, we're very special.

Vitale returned from his throat surgery last night for the Duke-UNC game, and we were reminded once again how much we absolutely cannot stand him ... and how much we had missed him. Some people might go a bit overboard on this — "Vitale's return - with that first in-depth, technical analysis you can only get from Vitale, the diagnosis of a play that begins and ends with "Ohhhhhhhh!!!!" - sounded like one of the classics. Dylan singing "Like a Rolling Stone." Lennon doing "Imagine." Vitale shouting "Super! Scintillating! Sensational!" — but it's impossible to deny that a Duke-UNC game would feel different without Vitale's signature brand of screaming, idiocy and Duke fellatio. All of college basketball would. Those who say Vitale is owed a considerable amount of credit for college basketball's explosion over the last 15 years sound correct to us: When our Illini team of 1989, with Nick Anderson, Kenny Battle and Kendall Gill, busted out, it was Vitale whose voice we would all imitate while playing basketball in the back yard. "The Flying Illini, Baby!"

Of course, we were 13 years old, and 13-year-olds are stupid. Vitale is a guy that's vital to the game, and we're happy he's back, doing what he loves. It's not quite right without him. We're still not taking the TV off mute.

Grating? Sure, But It's Great To Hear Vitale's Voice [Northwest Herald]

Duke Basketball Report says today is like Easter Sunday, but we'd go with Halloween: A bunch of doofy people in masks pretend like they're hurting each other. As you'd probably guess, The Truth About Duke is fired up for the game. But we're still a little worried about Dick Vitale. Of all the games to return with, it's this one? He might lose it before he even has it back.

Next Up, UNC [Duke Basketball Report]

Partisans of other teams might want to argue that their rivalries are at least as good as Carolina/Duke. If a complete break with reality has occurred, those imaginary people might even claim theirs is better. But I'm here to tell you that this blue on blue crime, perpetrated twice each season, is the mountaintop in college basketball.

The hype will drive a fan crazy, but there's no denying that this rivalry has a national flavor. It's similar to the Boston vs. New York battle we have in baseball (and, grudgingly, in football), in that it has partisans thousands of miles from its epicenter, and those partisans truly believe that their backing of one team somehow parallels their outlook on life. I won't try to parse out what that means for you, personally, but the bible on this subject is Will Blythe's book "To Hate Like This Is to be Happy Forever", which is well worth your time.

So which is it for you? Do you favor the Deputy-dawg-talkin', post-game-cryin', Psycho-T-bug-eyed glarin', wine-and-cheese-Dean Domers? Or are the last-name-consonant-hogging, credit-card-pushing, endless-supply-of-annoying-white-jump-shooters, floppin', carpetbaggin' Cameron Crazies more your style?

Your answer means everything.

Study guides: Dook Week. [Tar Heel Mania] ||| Carolina Sucks. [Carolina Sucks]

Courtesy of the Ralston-Purina End Zone Cam. Florida 82 - Tennessee 104. Nick Calathes looks so much like Billy Donovan that a blood test might be in order. In other news, I've decided that the latest basketball-playing Brian Williams (UT-6'10"/270) needs his own unique nickname. I'm kind of partial to "Flapjack" Williams, myself. In game-related news, Lofton and the Smiths locked down the perimeter and ran the baby Gators out of the gym, notching the century mark again. Flapjacks for everyone!!!!

Redbirds Be Needing Purple Drank. Drake 73 - Illinois State 70. This one has to be killing Tim Jankovich. The Illinois State coach had his team ahead of the MVC darling Bulldogs for 30 minutes, only to watch it all slip away. Emmenecker (Drake) and Dom Johnson (Vice Ill State) dropped eight dimes apiece, which is enough change to buy a nice soft drink for after the game. Drake star Josh Young was sleepwalking in the first half - seventeen of his eighteen points came in the second stanza.

Tonight's BIG Game

Nothing really catches my eye. Maybe we should all just plan on watching "Moment of Truth" and give college hoops a rest for an evening. Deal?

All right, all right already.

Duke (19-1) at North Carolina (21-1). Those numbers in parentheses are what make this series far and away the best rivalry in college basketball. Very rarely in recent years has this matchup had anything other than national implications (we're looking at you, Matt Doherty), and the schools are within hog-chasin' distance of one another, too (No, I will not explain what the hell I mean by that). Love Dickie V or hate him, this was the perfect game for his return to the booth. Roy Williams is playing Patriot games with Ty Lawson's injured foot, having him participate in practices in the afternoon and then proclaiming him doubtful for the contest every evening. I'll tell you one thing. I'll almost be disappointed if there isn't a little blood on the floor tonight.

Eric Angevine writes about college hoops every day at Storming the Floor, and is a regular contributor to Chicago Sports Weekly. He can be reached at stormingthefloor@gmail.com.

The Blue Devils are 20-1 right now and have one of those massive battles with North Carolina on Wednesday. Anyone who might have stupid enough to say "there are signs that the Duke dynasty is abating" should feel a little sheepish right now, if they had any damned shame.

Football's about to end folks, so be happy: Duke is there to fill that Patriots gap.

Blue Devils Emerging As Title Contenders [Sports Lounge Blog]
Duke Loses And America Cheers [New York Times]

The best part is not that the referees keep falling for Paulus' "my god, look what these horrible opponents keep doing to me!" act; it's that good ole Jay Bilas is there to have his school's back to the very end. Admit it: It's nice having Duke really good again, isn't it? It's always more fun to hate someone that's good.

Greg Paulus Should Try Out For The Italian Soccer Team [Awful Announcing]

Return to the Scheyer. Duke's hobbit-like swingman potted 16 points in the first half and 21 in the game, as No. 7 Duke rolled over Florida State 70-57. OK, Scheyer's skinny frame and crazy facial expressions probably make the whole Lord of the Rings comp a bit of a stretch. But we'll use any excuse to link to cheesecake shots of Rosie Cotton. As for Scheyer, he's emerged as one of the best sixth men/M.O.T.s in the country, after starting last year as a freshman. He's also the author of a famous high school performance, in which he scored 21 points in a span of 75 seconds. Plus Scheyer's creative shot-making last night was almost enough to make you forget about the horrendous charging fouls called on FSU in the first half, the flops by Nolan Smith and Taylor King being the most egregious since...the last time Duke played. (Ed. Note: More on this later today.)

900. Congratulations to Bobby Knight for winning his 900th career game. The General turned the trick against No. 10 Texas A&M, the third straight time the Red Raiders knocked off an Aggies team ranked in the top 10. Knight's trademark man-to-man defense befuddled A&M, which shot a season-low 34 percent from the field and committed a season-high 20 turnovers. The real winners here? O'Reilly Auto Parts.

Peacock, in the dining room, with the candlestick. I was all set with the elaborate Clue references, but Zach Peacock ruined it by missing twice in the final seconds, as North Carolina hung on for an 83-82 win over Georgia Tech. The Yellow Jackets threw a huge scare into the Heels, though, despite 27 points and 11 rebounds from Tyler Hansbrough. Peacock in particular put in a great showing, putting up 14 and 11 in just 21 minutes. Oh what the heck, here's your Eileen Brennan fix.

Temple of Doom. Conjuring up the ghosts of Mark Macon, sub-.500 Temple smoked No. 20 Xavier 78-59. Dionte Christmas counted 19 of his 23 points in the second half, while Mark Tyndale added 22 for the Owls. That's the same Temple team that lost to the mighty Charleston Cougars. It's A-10 madness!

Predictions. I picked Florida to beat No. 18 Mississippi by four and UMass to score its own road upset over No. 14 Dayton by two. Not bad, all things considered. The Gators rang up 53 points in the second half, coming up just short in an 89-87 loss to Ole Miss. The Minutemen had better luck, as five players scored in double figures en route to a huge 82-71 win at Dayton. The question isn't whether the A-10 can get four teams into the NCAA tournament. The real question is, can St. Joseph's or another upstart make enough noise to make it five bids?

No. 6 Tennessee 82, No. 16 Vanderbilt 79. I am off-the-charts excited for this game. The two teams' combined 30-2 start and Vandy coming off its double-OT loss to Kentucky raise the stakes for what's always a fun intrastate match-up even when neither team is in the Top 15. I like Tennessee's pressure defense and loaded backcourt to be just enough to overcome Shan Foster and A.J. Ogilvy. Because this game's on ESPN2, we won't get a repeat of Gus Johnson's giddy Saturday performance, which is a damn shame. Billyball, HA-HA-HA!

Louisville 69, No. 13 Marquette 65. I love Marquette's three-headed backcourt so much that I made the Golden Eagles my token bizarro Final Four pick. Meanwhile, the Cardinals have been a different team lately with Derrick Caracter, David Padgett and Juan Palacios back. I don't trust a team with Edgar Sosa at the controls in March. But for mid-January, with Louisville at home, the Cardinals look good.

Record: 6-5
Results within five points: 1-10

All of this adds up. And the latest bit of drivel from Bristol really makes you wonder: has ESPN decided that Duke Hating is good for ratings? Is it official business for the dominant player in sports media to bash one school in particular?

Yes, the folks at Duke are somehow under the impression that ESPN has been picking on them. Instead of this nonsense, Duke should construct campus statues of Vitale and Berman, at which all students should gather and pay homage at least once per day. A more symbiotic relationship you will never find in nature, unless it's that tiny bird that lives on hippos and cleans their ears.

Hey ESPN: Enough Is Enough [Duke Basketball Report]
Unreal ... Cameron Crazies Mad At ESPN! [The Big Lead]

But tonight, Duke's the bad bad guys: They're playing our Illini. At last, Michael Jordan can get all fired up about an opponent. The last time Illinois played Duke, the Blue Devils eliminated the Illini in the 2004 Sweet 16. (That's the year before the Final Four year.) We won't call this revenge, though; we're probably the only people who remember that game.

Anyway, they're in Maui, at 9 p.m. ET. We'll drop in with an after-game post, hopefully not crying.

In fact, there's a whole site devoted to the possibility. It's called Duke Super Bowl.

Welcome to the official web site of the Duke Super Bowl, celebrating Duke's chance to beat Notre Dame in a real tackle football game! This game is a big deal for Duke football fans - since we're not allowed to go to Bowl games (due to our inability to qualify with enough wins), this is our best chance for a big victory and to experience a bowl game. Needless to say we will be well-represented in South Bend on the 17th, as Duke football fans are known to travel for big games. This site is dedicated to those fans who will be there in person to watch this history-making event.

Man. That's enough to make a man want to go through gastric bypass surgery again. Oof.

Duke Super Bowl ["Official" Site]

In the midst of what may be the worst drought ever in North Carolina, Duke University and the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill are watering the synthetic turfs used by their field hockey teams. Durham, which has about 69 days left in its water supply at the current use rate, has banned all outdoor watering. Duke, which could not supply a number for the gallons used on turf watering, gets a business exemption to spray the field and other places on campus as long as overall consumption decreases by 30 percent.

My stance on such issues is well documented: If a few people have to suffer so that my daughter can hack at other girls' knees with a wooden stick, then let the water flow.

Fake Turf Watered As Supplies Dry Up [The News & Observer]

We're just gonna go ahead and let you watch this video and draw your own conclusions.

Watch it right here. Poor Josh McRoberts, no longer part of the "family." That said, it does free him from "incest."

Duke. Duke Duke Duke.

Duke Ladies [Hoops Odyssey]
Canoodling With The Stars [Hoops Odyssey]

The Miami-Dade Community College chess team — as seen above — has steamrolled several Ivy League schools to reach the Intercollegiate Chess Final Four. Naturally, we demand a steroids investigation.

That's right, you don't come into The Dade talkin' smack. That's knight to queen's bishop two, punk.

They're calling it the triumph of the everyman. The Miami-Dade team includes a security alarm salesman, a 34-year-old computer science student, a teacher and grocery store deli worker ... an Indian, a policeman, a construction worker ... It's fun to stay at the Y-M-C-A!

By finishing fourth in the Pan American Intercollegiate Chess Tournament, Miami Dade qualified for this weekend's finals of collegiate chess, facing powerhouses University of Texas-Dallas, Duke University and the University of Maryland, Baltimore County.

Yes, Duke has made the Intercollegiate Chess Final Four. It's rooks and bishops, baby! You do not want to use the Queen's Gambit Declined in front of the Cameron Crazies!

Fla. Community College Checkmates Ivys [Yahoo News]

We don't mean to imply that Virginia Commonwealth — the school where the band G.W.A.R. was founded, by the way — is extremely popular this morning, but The Truth About Duke Web site has VCU's logo as its background and we received six emails overnight simply with the phrase "GO RAMS!" in the subject line.

Yes, the mighty Duke has fallen, and just because Duke wasn't all that mighty this year doesn't mean the sports planet isn't relishing the Blue Devils' loss. It was the first first-round loss for Duke in a decade, and it's one that brightened up an otherwise somewhat dreary day of the NCAA tournament.

It seems inevitable, in retrospect, that Duke was going to lose last night. They've looked wobbly all year, and VCU had that look from the beginning last night. And they bloodied half the Blue Devils on the way there? For most fans, the icing on the cake, just sublime happenstance.

The Chain's Strongest Link [SI.com]
Duke Loses, And America Cheers [NY Times] (subscription)

You know, it already just doesn't feel right without Duke in the NCAA tournament. It's just wrong. Wrong!

Really. Totally. Honest.

It's so sad. Duke has fallen. A nation, collectively, weeps.

The Truth About Duke

DUKE BLUE DEVILS

1. Duke Green. Not that the .500 record in ACC play this year was a tipoff or anything, but this is one of the youngest Duke squads in history. The only senior on this year's team is Joe Pagliuca, who's seen his minutes steadily decline from year to year: from 9 to 7 to 4 to 2. DeMarcus Nelson, the team's leading scorer, is the only junior on the squad, and after that it's six sophs and six freshmen. Early trips to the Association meant that the starting lineup could have looked like Livingston-Paulus-Nelson-Deng-McRoberts this year, but given that the NBA saved Duke fans another year of Shavlik Randolph in '06, I think that most would agree it evens out.

2. Coach K Prepares You For Life, Coach Dan Brooks Just Wins Championships. We know about Dukies in the NBA. But what about other sports? Duke has five players in the NFL, none of whom were drafted and only one of whom (Ryan Fowler, LB, Cowboys) played a snap last season. Duke also has five MLB players, most notably Chris Capuano, Scott Schoeneweis and Quinton McCracken (still alive... shocking!). The school that once produced Sonny Jurgensen and Lawrence "Crash" Davis (yes, he was real) can take pride in its other main athletic export, however: LPGA players! Brittany Lang, Virada Nirapathpongporn, Candy Hannemann and Kristina Engstrom all have their tour cards for '07, and the Duke women's golf team has won four NCAA titles in the last ten years (including the past two) in addition to 11 straight ACC championships.

3. A Gaudet Record. You may recall the Mike Krzyzewski/Pete Gaudet Record Fiasco of 1995, especially when Billy "Why Is A 700 Year Old Man Still Calling Himself Billy?" Packer frothed over it during a telecast this year in the midst of Duke's longest losing streak in 11 years. Sadly for Duke haters, much of the conventional wisdom regarding the case is faulty; the record decision was made when the team was 9-3 before Gaudet had even coached a game, so you'll either have to chalk it up to a premonition on Coach K's part, an evil NCAA conspiracy (so the most famous coach in college hoops can't just say "go back and change it?"), or just the usual standby: Satan. But where, you may ask, is Pete Gaudet now? He parlayed 12 years on the Duke bench into... the video coordinator position for the OSU women's hoops team. I am in no way judging that career choice. — Matt DeTura

VIRGINIA COMMONWEALTH RAMS

1. Like Father, Like Duke. Gerald Henderson Jr., he of the face-breaking adamantium elbows, is the son of VCU alum Gerald Henderson (fancy that!), the best NBA player to come out of the Commonwealth. We can only presume the elder Henderson acquired the How To Land Your Ulna Bone On The Bridge Of An Opponent's Nose With Devastating Results style guide while winning an NBA Championship with the 1990 Bad Boy Pistons and subsequently passed them down to his eager protege/son, not yet even three years old at the time. Speaking of Duke — and since we put our headline-eggs in the Duke basket — this all comes semi-circle in noting that Duke alum Jeff Capel(the III) coached VCU for four years prior to current head coach Anthony Grant, never winning fewer than 18 games. Last year Capel left VCU for a coaching job at Oklahoma one month after signing a six-year contract. What does it all mean? Never trust a Blue Devil.

2. VCU's Gonna Get Medieval On Your Ashe. Speaking of broken bones and style guides, VCU doesn't have a football team, but Robert Lanham, author of The Hipster Handbook and a VCU alum, tells us the school does have a "medieval club" where students practice their jousting in full armor (good Knights-in-Shining-Armor are so hard to find these days). Epic scrimmages take place on the grass beneath a statue of Robert E. Lee on Monument Avenue, a street decorated with a collection of enormous bronze statues celebrating a handful of civil war "heroes." The other statues include Stonewall Jackson, J.E.B. Stuart, Jefferson Davis and perhaps most appropriately, deceased tennis pro Arthur Ashe.

3. Winning At Home Is All About Defense, Rebounding and Fresh Organs. Wiki tells us VCU is home to the nation's oldest organ transplant center. The records tell us that VCU has been one of the best home teams in the country, going 98-19 since they opened the Stuart C. Siegel Center in 1999. Coaching probably has a lot to do with the Rams success at home, but we also think the school is just loaded with heart. — The Assimilated Negro

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Complete NCAA Tournament Schedule

A lot of vitriol flowing around the Web this morning, most of it aimed at Gerald Henderson and Duke. But none seemed more perturbed at the roundhouse elbow to the probiscus of Tyler Hansbrough than the Tar Heels men's cheerleading squad, who were in Henderson's face, dude! You do not want to anger people in matching sweater vests and slacks. Also, the woman at the far right above seems just, shocked. And, are those Latex gloves? ... Anyway, here's a sampling of what people are saying the morning after:

• The worst part of this whole incident is that it overshadowed a brilliant Hansbrough performance. A classic Tar Heel performance in this rivalry. He was unstoppable Sunday. Well, you had to draw blood to stop him, and even then he still wanted a piece of you. Tyler was pushed and hit all game long, and the Blue Devils got away with it. Not anymore. [HeelsBlog]

• At that point, Hansbrough's instincts kicked in and he did what he'd been doing all day—outfought McRoberts for the rebound. It's encoded in Hansbrough's DNA: ball in air, launch self towards ball. Who would you rather be—the guy who hits Hansbrough in the face or the guy who tells him to stop giving maximum effort on the court? [Tar Heel Blue]

• Whatever, the Blue Devils have a lot of issues heading into the ACC tournament. Losing arguably their best player of late doesn't help things, though I doubt Hansbrough and his new Owen Wilson-inspired nose feels sorry for them. [AOL Fanhouse]

• It wasn't a vicious shot. Credit G for defending Duke's goal with seconds left. Also no one wants to see anyone get hurt, but it's a physical game and Tyler was mixing it up inside trying to score with seconds left, his team up double digits (not a classy thing to do) and was accidentally chopped down like a tree in the forrest by a freshman playing hard for his team. [Raven85, Devils Illustrated]

• I've always disliked Duke's basketball program, but I've never been as heated as I was after Gerald Henderson's elbow to the face of Tyler Hansbrough in the closing seconds of UNC's 13-point win. The elbow had me upset enough, and I would've liked to see Hansbrough retaliate, but I guess the kid just has too much class for that. [Truth About Duke]

• Henderson's sloppy, out of control play exemplifies the problems with this year's team. What a shameful, embarrassing performance by our basketball team. [Commenter at the Duke Chronicle]

• Oh, and one more thing: Duke sucks balls. And yes, I'm 12 years old. [Heels, Sox & Steelers]

Of all the "Sweet Christ, Billy Packer is so full of equine excrement" moments, we have to say, the "Just Going For The Ball!" foul from Gerald Henderson on Tyler Hansbrough at the end of the Duke-UNC game is definitely near the top of the list. Whatever your thoughts on the reason for Henderson's attack on Hansbrough, Packer's willful — and aggressive; it's obviously he's not going to let Jim Nantz talk on this subject — refusal to even imagine that a Duke player might have hammered down a cheap, brutal foul veers toward the pathological. This man broadcasts the biggest college basketball games of the year, every year; this never fails to amaze us.

We would like to see Packer calling other gruesome feats throughout history. "The Hindenberg is ... still in the air! Yep, it's just doing fine! Oh, the grand success! Oh, the grand success!"

Duke, UNC Flagrant Foul Video [Loser With Socks]
Wow, How Embarrassing For Him And CBS [Gunslingers]

Look, good things happening at Duke ... or at least the genesis of an inevitable beer commercial. It's a robot that tosses you your beer — and you have a remote to control the whole thing. More reason to never, ever leave your couch.

Robotic Beer Launching Refrigerator [Metacafe]

As Coach K enters his seventh decade of life, with his team struggling as it hasn't struggled in a decade, we ask ourselves: How does Coach K do it? How does he remain so full of life and good cheer? How is he able to continue to bring hope and vigor to millions of sports fans every year?

This link answers it: Coach K succeeds and thrives off the innocent, pure, hopeful energy of the blood of children. Nourishing, life-sustaining ... mmm mmm good.

Happy Birthday, Coach K [NBX]
Coach K Will Eat Your Child [Deadspin]

It could end up being a strange year, with Connecticut likely missing out, Illinois as of now out and even Duke. But Duke seems to use like a team that has to be in; we think Duke sneaking in as a No. 10 seed or something would be even more humiliating to those guys than not being in all together. Though perhaps we should not speak so soon: Is it possible to run American Express, "I'm a leader who just happens to coach basketball" commercials during the NIT? Does AmEx get some cash back for that?

Sorry: We're less than a month until Selection Sunday, and we're starting to get excited about this stuff.

Could Duke Miss The Tourney? [The Sports Frog]

After the jump, he wraps up a big win for the Heels over the beloved Blue Devils.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—

The weeping is over now. The cameras have stopped panning for tears. The abandoned tents of Krzyzewskiville flap in the wind. Soon that UN refugee camp for the rich victims of Wednesday night's catastrophe will be bulldozed. Donations may be made on behalf of the unfortunate through Deadspin, which will make sure that the money reaches its proper destination. (Ed. Note: As long as we don't use Paypal!)

A straggling thought or two on last night's Duke-Carolina slugfest:

If Deadspin readers are any indication, there's some animosity brewing out there in America towards both Duke and Carolina, otherwise known as the douchemongers and the twatwaffles, as one reader so eloquently put it. I blame ESPN for cramming the rivalry down the novelty-starved throat of America, and for leading the gullible to believe that Duke and North Carolina may be viewed interchangeably.

Admittedly, the game itself was ugly. To use the standards of "American Bandstand," it lacked a good beat. Maybe the defense was that savage, maybe the offense (until very late for North Carolina) was that bad. But there was just no rhythm. As my friend Doug put it, there was a lot of "thwartedness" going on. Even so, even so, my cantankerous Deadspin friends, the game possessed an intensity that Marquette versus Peoria State has tended to lack.

Astonishingly, however, the game gave rise to miniature golf tycoon Billy Packer's finest moment as a sportscaster and human being. Only those of us in the Durham-Chapel Hill area, where the ESPN broadcast was fortunately blacked out, sparing us the passion of Dick Vitale, got to hear Packer on the local broadcast. In the second half, just as the Tar Heels began to close on the Blue Devils, Packer started to obsess on-air about Duke's unseemly decision to credit the team's losses during the star-crossed season of 1995 to Krzyzewski's assistant Pete Gaudet. That was the season that Coach K took a powder, as it were, for his bad back and disappeared from public view like an actor going to rehab. "I think the losses should be credited to Krzyzewski," Packer ranted.

But it wasn't enough for him to assert his own view. He then proceeded to lasso his broadcast partner into the debate. "What do you think?" Packer asked, bullying his colleague the same way the Blue Devils were knocking Tyler Hansbrough around. His partner kept trying to evade the question by paying tribute to the game's marvelous freshmen. "Let's talk about the freshmen," he said.

Packer wasn't having it. While clips ran of Duke's Jon Scheyer bombing from three and North Carolina's Brandan Wright hooking and dunking inside, he forced his partner to chime in with his own opinion (as if he cared). "I think the losses should go to Krzyzewski," his partner grudgingly agreed.

Billy, I admit that I joined an entire coliseum in booing you at the ACC Tournament in 2005 when you received an award for your contributions to the league. To be honest, I booed until I was hoarse. So did everyone seated around me. Wake fans, State fans, UNC fans — you brought us all together in a moment of mystical harmony. We all thought of you as an insufferable, sour-spirited know-it-all. But now I see a prophet without honor in his own land who speaks truth to power. I love you, man.

After the jump, he previews tonight's Duke-North Carolina game. He'll have a game wrapup tomorrow.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

I've got a bad feeling about this one. So does my mother, but then, as the Oswald Spengler of North Carolina basketball, she always has a bad feeling. We could be playing Iona, and my mother would have a bad feeling. If only Donald Rumsfeld shared her capacity for divining disaster

Me, I'm different. I don't usually have a bad feeling and when I do, it's usually a ruse to mislead the gods, to go humbly into the victory store and like a neatly-dressed shoplifter, sneak out with a win stuffed under my parka. Why the gods care that much about placating my bad feeling, I don't know. But sometimes they do. At other times my bad feeling functions as a prophylactic — an attempt to protect my fragile psyche from suffering the worst (Carolina loss to Duke) by rehearsing that defeat for hours ahead of time. But not this time. This time I've got a real bad feeling.

The bad feeling started when Duke lost 68-67 to Florida State at Cameron on Sunday, the first time the Criminoles had won there in fifteen years. After the game, Al Thornton stood on Krzyzewski Floor facing the Crazies, nodding his head and clapping, shouting "Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!" Nearby, his teammates popped their jerseys. Harmless enough in our demonstrative age — these guys didn't show enough attitude to be also-rans on American Idol, but the students booed just the same. At least the Crazies didn't run out onto the court to protect the jump circle by surrounding it and making tiny little fists, as they have done in the past, embarrassing us all in the process.

I find myself in the heretical position of wondering whether it might not have been better for North Carolina if the Blue Devils had beaten FSU. I worry that Duke, coming off two ACC losses in a row and playing at Cameron, will be a cornered beast. The Blue Devils will be slapping the floor, they'll be thumping chests and screaming in each other's faces. Testosterone will be spraying all over the court like Gatorade. I can't stand the thought of Josh McRoberts snarling and grimacing anymore than he already does. Every time a call goes against the Duke center, you can read his lips shouting "Fuck!" (Watch tonight on ESPN's special "fuck cam," and you'll see what I mean.) You can also read his coach's lips, only they are saying something more like "Fuck you!" And that could be to either his own players or the refs — either will do.

Unless my friend Doug comes through with two tickets to Cameron — he has more juice than I do — we'll all be watching the game in Chapel Hill with my mother in the family room just off the kitchen. I'm down south from New York to do a few readings and radio appearances to promote the paperback version of my book, To Hate Like This Is To Be Happy Forever. My main sport these days is self-promotion (thank you, Deadspin!). And as an entrepreneurial man of schemes, I was prepared to take a laissez-faire attitude towards tonight's first regular season match-up. Basketball is one thing, but racking up paperback sales — sweet Jesus! What can compare? And I'm competing, too, baby, signing that stock as fast as legibility allows. "You're pretty good," the manager of one Barnes & Noble said, "but you're no Jimmy Carter."

"How many can he do?" I asked, popping my blue oxford just like the Criminoles.

"16 every 60 seconds," she said. "But he won't personalize."

"Yeah, but I personalize," I said. Jimmy Carter won't personalize. Wasn't that the reason he failed to be re-elected? When will the man ever learn?

Maybe self-promotion would have been enough for me, a way out of the obsessive fandom that for decades has retarded my growth as a moral being. But then something terrible happened. North Carolina also lost last weekend — to former arch-rival NC State. Roy Williams was thoroughly out-coached by rookie Sidney Lowe, whose undermanned squad spread the floor on offense and worked the shot clock, in the process inscribing a classic blue print for how to beat the more talented racehorses of UNC. On defense, the Wolfpack clogged the middle and mugged Tyler Hansbrough, as do most teams. The Tar Heels appeared at a loss as to how they might combat this.

The defeat sent many Carolina partisans to a consideration of the previously unthinkable — is Roy Williams a good game coach? Without question, he's a great recruiter, a terrific motivator, and he says "friggin'" more than any man in the world. But how about mid-game adjustments? One of my favorite posters on the Inside Carolina web site, the often gloomy Brownie (gloomy, I suspect, because he's such an obsessed fan that he must anticipate and acknowledge imperfection; would that our foreign policy experts displayed such realism) put the issue aeronautically.

"Roy is not a 'game coach,' he wrote. "He doesn't fly the plane. He gasses it up, loads on the captain, the crew, the passengers, shows them how to fly, and then puts the plane on automatic pilot. Sometimes, halfway through the trip, he yells at everybody and throws some chair, and then puts the plane back on automatic pilot again."

I fear that the Blue Devils are in a much better position than NC State to execute the Wolfpack's winning strategy and exploit North Carolina's impatience to gambol up and down in a full-court game. I fear that with Duke at risk of going .500 in conference for the first time since the beautiful tenure of Pete Gaudet, the Blue Devils will play like a team of thugs on speed. I fear that at Cameron, where the refs lose track of time (poor Clemson) and fouls, thuggishness will win. I fear that DeMarcus Nelson or Jon Scheyer will have big offensive games for the Devils. I fear that the North Carolina freshmen — in particular, the starting trio of Wayne Ellington, Ty Lawson, and Brandan Wright (who spurned Duke in a major recruiting reversal) — will betray impatience and play too fast. I fear that Roy won't call any time-outs until it is too late. I fear the Tar Heels will close too slowly on the three-point shot.

I fear that Duke will win and my mother's abiding sense that the universe is brimming over with doom will be confirmed (such is the effect of a Duke victory in our household).

I've got a bad feeling, yes I do. But maybe if I say all these things, none of them will come true.

"The league acknowledges that a timing error was made in not starting the game clock at the correct time," said Clougherty, adding the situation was resolved internally but did not elaborate.

Not that there's anything they really could do about it, but still, even a tiny little, "Hey, we're sorry," would've been nice. Without an actual apology, people might start to get the idea that the ACC people don't really mind that Duke got a high profile win instead of Clemson, and we know that's not true.

The Tigers deserve some small token of sorrow ... maybe a some coupon books to McDonalds. Maybe a Coach K instructional video. Maybe a promise that Dick Vitale will never be allowed to call another Clemson game again. Something to make them feel better about themselves.

ACC: 'Timing Error' In Clemson-Duke Finish [WXII12.com]

Also, there's breaking news. Such as the fact that he would gladly give up an NBA season to return to college and play against Duke.

"D'Antoni said that after I scored 54 on them and made my prediction to score 50 on the Blazers that he'd like to see what I'm going to do against Duke. I thought it was funny because if I have the chance to go back to college, I'll give up one NBA season to play against Duke. One college game...that's five fouls, right?...40-minute game...at Duke, they got soft rims...I'd probably score 84 or 85. I wouldn't pass the ball. I wouldn't even think about passing it. It would be like a NBA Live or an NBA 2K7 game, you just shoot with one person."

Mike Krzyzewski cut Arenas from the U.S. National team last summer, and Arenas will get his revenge even if he has to pull a Rodney Dangerfield in Back to School to do it. Just one snag in the plan: Which school would Agent Zero play for? We think that Iona would have an opening.

Actually we'd just like to see Arenas attempt to spell Krzyzewski without breaking the Internet.

Arenas Wants To Hand Coach K, Duke A Lesson [MSNBC]
NBA Blog: Gilbert Arenas [NBA.com]