Update: Apparently, Time Warner also promoted yesterday's Celtics/Knicks matchup as a Chris Duhon and Shelden Williams reunion. If you see anymore evidence of pro-Duke bias from your TV's program guide, please forward because that's really weird.

•Tony Gonzalez (and a strategically placed Mrs. Gonzalez) go naked for a PETA ad. Think it's ironic someone on the Falcons, of all teams, to do an anti-fur ad? Well, it's not; Michael Vick never wore fur.

•The Raiders are actively cooperating with the NFL of Tom Cable's Punch-Out!! because they hope to be able to fire Cable "with cause," and not have to pay him. Or they could keep him on staff, and not have to pay any assistants whose careers he ends.

•A Notre Dame assistant called out Navy's head coach for his postgame comments and repeated chop blocks. Never mind the fact that it was Veterans Day; any team who tries to cripple the Fighting Irish will always have the public's sympathy.

•Jimmy Rollins and Shane Victorino win Gold Gloves. They're obviously not talking about batting gloves.

•In a battle of teams named after primary colors, the Red Wings demolish the Blue Jackets 9-1. But if they could somehow combine forces, they would blend into the Purple Parrots, the absolute best team on Legends Of The Hidden Temple.

•Jim Riggleman "wins" the hotly contested Nationals manager sweepstakes, and will sign a one-year contract. Second prize, obviously, was a two-year deal.

•Finally, we've got Duke recruit Kyrie Irving starring in his high school production of High School Musical:

To kick of this year's Midnight Madness, the Duke team put together their interpretations of cinema's legendary moments. We've got Austin Powers, the Godfather, Titanic (with a very exposed Nolan Smith, above), and Gladiator, as read semi-phonetically by Olek Czyz.

So, for the 80 or so Duke students who emailed this in, thanks. Though I'm concerned that you think this is something to be proud of.

•••••

Thanks for bearing with us through some technical issues this weekend. Remember, if the jokes you read weren't funny, it's all Gawker tech's fault.

While the top 10 is naturally dominated by those stuffy Ivy League tools, most of your favorites are represented. Texas, Arizona State, the OSU, Our Lady of Catholic Touchdowns. And yes, of course. The Blue Devils. We are talking about a school that makes you sit through a 12-minute "comedy" sketch about James Bond—in which the actor playing James Bond cannot be bothered to fake an English accent—for a two-second glimpse of Jon Scheyer and Coach K pretending they're with the cool kids. Are you sure you only want to rank them No. 2? (Numero Uno was Brown. They don't give out grades or something.)

Anyway, while we think we've had enough of all the vinegar and water references, this linkbait is the perfect way to piss off a certain segment of the population and I can certainly support that. Today, we beat up on a 12-year-old and reminded the world about that guy who jacks it in libraries. I think our work is done here.

AMERICA'S 25 DOUCHIEST COLLEGES [GQ]

* * * * *

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin and dooshbags everywhere. Barry P, who always has that fresh feeling, will be here soon. Stay wet, my friends.

Giuliani—America's Mayor's Son—lost a summary judgment in his breach of contract case after the judge determined there was no actual contract made. (He was not on scholarship and even if he was, they can be revoked.) However, Magistrate Judge Wallace W. Dixon found the whole matter so amusing, that he decided to sprinkle his opinion with golf terminology ("Plaintiff attempts to take a mulligan, but this shot goes into the drink.") and even a line from a terribly overrated golf comedy.

"Plaintiff's promissory estoppel claim which was not argued in his brief, brings to mind Carl Spackler's analysis from the movie CADDYSHACK. 'He's on the final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit a 2 iron I think.' North Carolina does not recognize affirmative claims of promissory estoppel."

HA HA! Estoppel! I get it! Wait ... no, I don't.

Giuliani Golf Lawsuit Shanks [The Smoking Gun]

An insomniac Deadspin reader was flipping through the channels in his south Texas abode early Saturday morning (or late Friday night, if you prefer) when this not-unpleasing-to-the-eye image gave him pause. Thankfully, for the good of humanity, he had a camera handy. Either Time Warner Cable is having trouble keeping the porn out of their non-porn feeds or an ESPNU employee was making a strong statement about Duke basketball.

Interestingly, the same thing happened last Sunday in Waco, where Time Warner Cable customers watching a PBS telethon were surprised by a 5-second switch from PBS to pubis. It was probably the most action those viewers had gotten in years. Between that and the infamous Super Bowl Porn incident earlier this year, we're looking at a possible porno pandemic. Let's keep our fingers crossed.

2) Backyard Brawl, Sort of In addition to Zoubek, Duke has a few other players from the general Philadelphia area, giving this weekend's game an extra emotional dimension. As is typical with most Blue Devils, they have overcome hardscrabble backgrounds to succeed. Gerald Henderson, for example, fought his way up from the mean streets of Merion, Pennsylvania, while up the Jersey Turnpike Lance Thomas beat the odds in Scotch Plains. And don't even get me started about David McClure and Ridgefield, Connecticut. So let's hear it for these gritty, gutty underdogs.

3) You're Not Helping And it's not as if Duke will have the Boston crowd on its side. Granted, more than a few Duke families will clip more than a few coupons to buy tickets on Stubhub so their precious, precious children can attend the game, but everyone else will be rooting for Nova. Duke's status as the most hated team in college basketball is unlikely to change at this point, and this year's crop of tournament-oriented commercials is not making it any easier to be a Duke fan. Okay, at least Dick Vitale doesn't work for CBS and, okay, at least American Express isn't running those awful Coach K spots this year, but the Vitamin Water commercial with Christian Laettner and Rick Pitino… did we really need that? — Charles Dainoff

VILLANOVA WILDCATS

1) Flip of a Coin It's difficult to determine which Wildcat team will show up on Thursday vs Duke in Boston. The first round game against American highlighted some problems the Wildcats occasionally experience. American was able to exploit Villanova's weak perimeter defense and consistently force the Wildcats to scramble in transition. Villanova's lack of a true center forces their defense to over-compensate and stay close to the paint; teams with strong 3-point shooting are able to take advantage of this. However, as the UCLA game illustrated, Villanova is capable of running a fluid and fast-pace offense that is difficult to defend against. Nova's strong guard play from Scottie Reynolds and Corey Fisher overwhelmed UCLA. Villanova, as with many Big East teams, is very physical and Duke will be forced to keep up with Nova's style.

2) Balancing Act Villanova is one of the more balanced teams in the tournament. In the UCLA game, 6 players scored in double digits and 6 had at least 3 rebounds. It's difficult to completely shut down the Wildcats offense due to their ability to move the ball around and score from all areas of the floor. Corey Fisher, a sophomore guard and Big East 6th Man of the Year, has been a huge part of Villanova's recent success. His ability to bring the ball up the court and create plays on his own has allowed the Nova offense to spread out.

3) If You Aren't Already Convinced... Thursday's game will provide what many NCAA basketball fans have been waiting for: a major matchup between a Big East and an ACC team. Although the Big East has made quite the showing with 3 number 1's and 5 teams heading to the Sweet 16, the debate continues as to which conference is the toughest. Thursday's game pits two strong programs, both with styles representative of their conferences, against each other. Villanova will look to control the pace of the game while setting the tone with strong physical play. Duke will attempt to unravel the Wildcat defense with strong perimeter shooting. The game has the potential to be one of the more exciting games so far in the tournament. — CRyan (3:10 To Joba)

The explanation is simple, of course—they need to sell tickets. It's hard enough to fill the Breslin Center for a regular MSU game, but try doing it for four teams that no one in East Lansing could give a rip about. So the Spartans (and some other teams that did not necessarily deserve it) got to play at home for rounds one and two, despite being the lower-seeded team in both games. So what happened? Two wins, including a sweet, sweet smackdown of top-seeded Duke, now led by State's former coach.

Joanne P. McCallie left East Lansing for Durham in 2007, one month after signing a $500,000 contract extension. She actually tried to sell it as a good thing for women's basketball, because the fact that one school would pay out big bucks to pinch a coach from another program means that the ladies' game has finally arrived. Yay, headhunting! Just like the men! I think the fact that a coach who took a team to its only Final Four appearance was booed on her return to campus probably says something too.

So yes, it's totally unfair that a No. 9 seed got to play two postseason games at home, but honestly ... no one cares. Spartan fans will take it.

Spartan women knock off Duke, McCallie, 63-49 [Lansing State Journal]
Duke's Coach P stands on way she left Michigan St [AP]
Losing Joanne McCallie to Duke was blessing in disguise for Michigan State [Gang Green]
2009 Women's NCAA Tournament Bracket [ESPN]

(NCAA buckets. Duh.)

Today has pretty much been a snoozer as far as basketball action is concerned. That may all change tonight during the NCAA's evening sessions.

Purdue vs. Washington, 5:40 PM, Portland. You gotta fight! For the right! To get demolished by UConn next week!

North Carolina vs. LSU, 5:45 PM, Greensboro, NC. The North Carolina schools' annual NCAA tournament tour of North Carolina's arenas continue. Will Hansbrough ever close his mouth and/or get a rebound? Tune in to find out!

Oklahoma vs. Michigan, 5:50 PM, Kansas City. Will Michigan avenge their 1976 Orange Bowl loss to Oklahoma? Tune in to find out!.

Gonzaga vs. Western Kentucky, 8:10 PM, Portland. Chicago sports radio host Dan Bernstein has a theory that every year in the NCAA tournament, one of the Cinderella teams has red jerseys. Is Western Kentucky this year's Crazy Red Team? Tune in to find out!

Duke vs. Texas, 8:15 PM, Greensboro. Tonight, we are all Texans. Hook 'em, Horns!

*****

Hey folks – time for the nightcap. As a current Duke student and unapologetic Blue Devils fan, this game intrigues me because Binghamton seems to have modeled its program after Duke's. Like Duke, Binghamton won't compromise its standards – academic or otherwise - to build a basketball program. Like Duke, Binghamton's players don't run afoul of the law – but if they were to, they'd face severe consequences. And like Duke, Binghamton has had some success recruiting role players from Eastern Europe. If Binghamton can keep this up, it might even begin to replicate Duke's nation-wide reservoir of goodwill. Eh, maybe not.

On the court, it should be fun. Duke's been pretty successful since replacing the Paulus/Smith duo with Elliot Williams and moving Jon Scheyer to the point. ACC Tourney MVP Scheyer shoots a spot-up three pretty well, but since his release is so slow, he can't get shots off as easily against taller players. Since Binghamton starts a smallish lineup, this shouldn't be too much of a problem. Gerald Henderson has been on a tear most of the season and Singler's averaged almost 20 a game over his last six. Binghamton's best shot will be to get Scheyer or Williams into foul trouble. Nolan Smith can get a little jittery under pressure, and Paulus…well…even the most ardent Duke fan will admit that he can do a pretty good impression of a pylon.

So crack open a beer and bear with me while I try to navigate a live blog. On to the game…
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

11:46: Alright, I've saved it up all night. I even put on my rugby jersey and had my butler read the rant before I posted it...nah, I can't. I've had too much fun. When you get the chance to post on DU!AN, you go for it, even if the general thrust of the comments is that I should gargle K's semen. I'd be worried if the reaction were anything else. Good night - can't wait for Round 2.

11:43: Zoubek + Paulus sinking threes? We're about two minutes from the walk-ons.

11:38: For a second, I thought they were bringing Kornheiser to the booth. On the one hand, my ears would have exploded, but on the other hand, it would've taken the heat off me.

11:35: First free throw tonight? With 7:15 left in the second half? Binghamton just got into foul trouble way too early...

11:31: Obligatory Paulus love, creepy reference about Coach K's family - Nantz is working really hard tonight.

11:29: Fuller still's playing hard and finishing. That's about it on the Binghamton end.

11:22: Binghamton's cut it to 20. Fuller's pretty effective when he's on the court. Kellog just gave a sympathetic Binghamton speech. Looks like everyone's struggling to finish this one off.

11:19: That sign was the worst of everything.

11:11: Missed goaltending call, open three, and it's a 24 point game. Timeout. Timeout. Getting pretty slow.

11:07: Yes, Thomas' feet were moving on the last offensive foul.

11:06: Fuller's out, Jaan's back, and Duke's threes are dropping...

11:01: And we're back. Nice fadeaway by Fuller to cut it to 12.

10:44: If AIPAC comments are as bad as it'll get, I think I can survive the second half. I'm growing to like Binghamton; I just wish they'd start driving a bit more before rather than settling for ugly jumpers. Definitely a fast enough team. Instead, if they'd just bring some high picks, drive and dish it back, this game could stay close. And I won't have to live-blog Lost reruns.

10:40: Step-back threes? Maybin's getting hot - too bad we've at the half.

10:37: My commenter name is an homage to Pot Roast and Gravy, who had an unfortunate but deserved banning. I will not touch a Hank Gathers joke. Old Marymount games are too fun to watch.

10:34: Seems like Rivera's been isolating Henderson a bit lately. Not the worst move - with the current lineup, Henderson might actually be one of the slower defenders.

10:28: And box out. David McClure can't get Orebs like that. Rivera's making some nice looks...if he can keep it to two fouls before the half...

10:27: The Asian kid's passed out - definitely a Duke party. I really think Binghamton could have some success if they'd press Scheyer and run a bit more.

10:22: Been sitting on this Nick Cage link all night - I didn't figure "Knowing" would buy this expensive a commercial slot...

10:19: So what's standard operating procedure when they break away from the game I'm live-blogging for good? Should I just guess? Watch the box score? Live blog a gamecast? We're not too far away...

10:16 - For what it's worth, the only way Duke will consistently break the press is if they keep sending Henderson back. Or take Paulus off the court. Update: Just did.

Rivera loves fadeaway 3s, huh?

10:13: CPU? Computer? Processing Unit? UNIBROW?

10:09: Seems like only the city of Binghamton is getting it worse than me right now...Jesus...Big Country Reeves isn't the ugliest brother?

10:05: My Duke friends are all excited Paulus is in - I'm just cringing. Binghamton should just isolate him and drive. I won't even resort to the athleticism cliche...

10:04: For what it's worth, Binghamton's getting boards. They just can't make shots.

9:58: Couple of things to watch (and I promise I'll become less Duke-centric once I learn the Bearcats' name) - If they'll give Smith a step to penetrate, he can create good looks (Thanks, Jo). When teams pressure him, though, he starts standing still and dribbling backwards. I'm also not that much of a Zoubek homer. He's only functional when he's fired up and then they put him in the high post. Otherwise, he's a corpse. Think a dead Cherokee Parks.

9:57: Binghamton's not afraid of the moment? Cliches already.

I have no idea how deep Binghamton is, but 6 fouls is pretty problematic.

9:54: Took Scheyer a while to get out of the back court - I'd love a PG who can break this press.

9:52: It'll be interesting to see if they bring Zoubek in quickly - Duke's had success this year putting him up in the high post.

9:51: We're off - Like the full-court pressure on the Binghamton end. We're not that deep.

9:47: (shot of the Blue Devils band) no, no, no, no, flautist - maybe. Entire city of Binghamton - never been, but I can guess.

9:40: Always hate waiting for the games. While we're waiting for the game to start, I'll make a deal: No snobby Duke jokes, No hackneyed standardized test chants, a minimum of smarminess (sic?). However, Malik Allen did steal condoms from a Wal-Mart.

9:35: Mass hysteria in Durham. The law library's half empty, and that one girl from out of town has already started drinking.

Seyward Darby is a Duke alum — a former reporter and editor for the school's newspaper The Chronicle, actually — but she doesn't consider herself a super-fan. In fact she can understand why Duke draws so many haters due to its elitist reputation and its tony Carolina Piedmont zip code. But, she says, there comes a point when healthy, competitive bashing turns ugly:

There's the classic "This is Why Duke Sucks" YouTube video that has received more than 1.6 million hits—and boasts lyrics about one Duke player being a "bitch" and another having a "dude's face all on [his] balls." Or the more recent (and explicit) video, "Greg Paulus—'I Kissed a Boy,'" which mocks Duke's senior guard for, among other things, enjoying the taste of men's sweat. Or another video about Paulus ("Tea Bag: A Greg Paulus Tribute"), posted by user TarHeel32Blue, which shows several clips of the guard near or between the legs of other players.

But the abuse this Blue Devil class receives pales in comparison to the abuse J.J. Redick received:

Exhibit A, however, is the cascade of homophobia directed at superstar three-point shooter J.J. Redick during his years in Durham. In 2004, N.C. State guard Scooter Sherrill said publicly that, after Redick shot threes, he had "his hand up like he's gay or something." A quick perusal of Redick's Wikipedia history reveals dozens of now-deleted comments like, "J.J. Redick is a confirmed homo sexual" with whom it's rumored "coach K made sexual arrangements." A notorious photo snapped during a game shows a Duke fan with a "JJ is Redickulous" sign standing unsuspectingly next to a Maryland supporter who adds "-ly gay" with his own poster. The New York Times wrote about the cheers of "Brokeback Mountain" often shouted at him during games, and you can still find photos on Tarheeltimes.com that show Redick's face superimposed on images from the movie.

So, remember, when you root for Binghamton's Bad Newz Bearcats to heroically upset the Blue Devils in Greensboro: Just because some players on Duke might be romantically interested in men doesn't mean they're bad people.

******

TONIGHT: More live blogging out the ass. So DUAN it up here until the evening games begin.

Thank you for your continued support of Deadspin's Live Blogging extravaganza.

Devilish [TNR]

Obama unveiled his NCAA tournament bracket on Wednesday, and as we see here, he has Duke losing to Pittsburgh in the East Regional. Krzyzewski was not amused:

"Somebody said that we're not in President Obama's Final Four, and as much as I respect what he's doing, really, the economy is something that he should focus on, probably more than the brackets," Krzyzewski told a reporter from the Associated Press on Wednesday.

As for the rest of the President's bracket, it's being criticized as "too timid" by many. Picking Morgan State to upset Oklahoma may look good on Wednesday night and get people talking about your bravery, but I thought the idea was — just as in a Presidential election — to win the thing?

His bracket is kind of messy, though. Poor Louisville.

Photo: ESPN.

Barry O Likes The Heels [Awful Announcing]
How Obama's NCAA Bracket Is A Window Into His Soul. Maybe [NYPoliticker]

2) Three's Company Duke is famous for having the big three. It started with Hurley, Hill and Laettner and now we have Henderson, Singler and Scheyer. Outside of Chapel Hill and Excitement Video, this may be the best threesome in America. Coach K was quoted earlier this season saying, "In March, it comes down to your top 6 or 7 guys." Well, if Coach K is right, he has to like his chances. The inside game isn't great with Lance Thomas and Brian Zoubek but if you add Kyle Singler to the mix, it's not horrible. I know Singler likes to shoot more three pointers then layups but the kid can rebound. Henderson has developed a jump shot but is still one of the best one on one offensive players in the country. He can finish over anyone. Jon Scheyer could always shoot.

3) From way downtown The one thing the Dukies need to watch out for is falling in love with the three pointer. When Duke runs their offense and takes the time to get a good look at the hoop they are as good as anyone in the country. They play really good defense most of the time and the only time they really get themselves in trouble is when they decide they are going to try to win the game from long range. They are a shooting team but they need to do it within the offense. The Coach K factor is a huge advantage. It will be interesting if Coach K and company can keep these guys focused and remind them it's not all about the 3 point shot. — Verb (Jumping Offsides)

BINGHAMTON BEARCATS

1) What is a Bearcat anyway? They actually do exist, sort of. The actual name of a Bearcat is a binturong, which is neither a bear nor a cat. Talk amongst yourselves. They are relatively small and eat mainly fruit (suck on that, Nick Lachey). It's natural habitat is the rainforest of Bangladesh, Bhutan, Burma, China, India, Indonesia, Laos, Malaysia, Nepal, the Philippines, Thailand and Vietnam. Anyway, BU abandoned its colors (red, white and blue) and mascot (the Colonials) in 2001 upon their move up to Division I. The rebranding effort appears to have worked. Since the move, the Bearcats have led the America East in attendance six of eight seasons (the last six in a row).

2) Who are these Bearcats, specifically? Second year coach Kevin Broadus' controversial recruiting efforts (chronicled here) appear to have worked. All five Bearcats starters average 10+ ppg and conference leading scorer DJ Rivera checks in at an even 20. Junior F Rivera is a transfer from St. Joseph's (prompting GW fans to chant "A-10 reject" at him in a game early this season), Junior G Malik Alvin arrived from UTEP via junior college, Junior G Tiki Mayben comes from UMass and Senior F Reggie Fuller is a juco transfer. Regardless of where they came from, the Bearcats can play, winning the America East regular season and conference tournament with decent non-conference wins against Rutgers and Tulane. They start an athletic, three guard lineup with the only player over 6' 4" being Fuller at 6'9". They'll get up and down the floor, attack from the wings, press and trap and need to stay away from the 3-ball (33% on the season). It will be interesting to see if they have anyone who can handle Gerald Henderson. The Bearcats enter Round 1 on a 10 game winning streak.

3. Who were some Bearcats? As everyone should know by now, Binghamton kindly gave us Tony Kornheiser. But what you may not know is that Binghamton has also provided society with such luminaries as Paul Reiser, dissident feminist Camille Paglia, Billy Baldwin, founding member of Sonic Youth Lee Ranaldo and ESPN personality Karl Ravech. So, not bad. — Mark Franceski

Join the Deadspin Pants Party Group Pool [ESPN]
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