Eastern Illinois-Minnesota Featured A Three-Yard Punt And Dick Punch

Tonight, college football gave us a horrendous punt and punch to the dick, all in one game. Thanks, college football. » 8/28/14 10:40pm 8/28/14 10:40pm

Eastern Illinois RB Accused Of Robbing A Jimmy John's Delivery Man At…

Bobby Pettis hasn't played a game for FCS Eastern Illinois, sitting out the 2012 season after transferring from D-II. He might not suit up in 2013 either. » 3/22/13 2:27pm 3/22/13 2:27pm

Yes, EIU Wrestlers, We Understand Your Point

Last month, the Eastern Illinois University wrestling program was discontinued by the school, which cited low academic marks from the team. The grapplers immediately protested in the only way they know how. » 6/27/07 11:20am 6/27/07 11:20am

You Say Seymour, We Say Pusey, Let's Call The Whole Thing Off

In July, we told you about Lucious Pusey, freshman linebacker for Eastern Illinois University. We also mentioned that he had petitioned to legally change his name to Lucious Seymour, an instinct we absolutely understand. » 12/05/06 10:30am 12/05/06 10:30am

Ladies And Gentlemen, Meet Lucious Pusey

The Realests are going bonkers this morning over their latest discovery, but we have to say that we do not find this funny at all. What is so hilarious, after all, about a college football player named Lucious Pusey? (Roman guard begins to giggle). Centurion, why do they titter so? Just because I say ... Lucious… » 7/20/06 3:00pm 7/20/06 3:00pm

The Long Road Of Sean Payton

If you missed it, the New Orleans Saints hired Cowboys assistant head coach Sean Payton to be its new head coach. We feel somewhat uniquely qualified to discuss this hire, because, by pure happenstance, we've been following Payton's football career since we were about 10 years old. » 1/18/06 9:17am 1/18/06 9:17am

New Vikings Coach Sporting Rare Mustache/Baldness Combo

Today, the Minnesota Vikings will announce that Eagles offensive coordinator Brad Childress will be their new coach, or, if you can't resist making the same joke everybody else is making this morning, captain of their ship. Childress has been with the Eagles for seven years, and, having seen Requiem For A Dream,… » 1/06/06 9:01am 1/06/06 9:01am