Last month, the Eastern Illinois University wrestling program was discontinued by the school, which cited low academic marks from the team. The grapplers immediately protested in the only way they know how.

(And yes: That article is from the Mattoon paper.)

A Quick Note For The Wrestlers [Stephen Has A Blog]

Unfortunately for Lucious, and for us, we suppose, when you Google "Lucious Pusey," the second item that comes up is that post. Which is probably why we received this email last evening.

ooo so yall mother fuckers dont have shit else to say bout me huh... damn you know the funny thing is that mother fuckers like yall wont have the balls and say it to my face.. when i make it to the league i willshoot a middle finger at yall and say fuck all my haters.. i am the realest, and my name is Lucius Seymour get it right!!

We're going to assume The Realests got one of these as well. We could like to formally point out, to whoever will listen, that his name is not Lucious Pusey anymore, it is Lucious Seymour, so please, if you could, stop that giggling. Stop it! Stop!

Ladies And Gentlemen, Meet Lucious Pusey

(UPDATE: The Smoking Gun has a copy of the official name-change request. Those guys are awesome.)

We didn't think Jim Bob Cooter or Kyle Sackrider could be topped. But they have — by a mile. We've been informed of the Eastern Illinois (Division I-AA) Panther formerly known as Lucious Pusey.

Before we get too excited, the player in question has evidently legally changed his name to Lucious Seymour. And we say we get together and make him change it back.

A Seperate Tribute To Lucious Pusey [The Realests]

Back then, he was the All-American quarterback for Eastern Illinois University — the school right next to our hometown; he's actually now the third EIU grad to be an NFL head coach, and Jets offensive coordinator Mike Heimerdinger is a Panther too — and, just after that, he was the starting quarterback for the Chicago Bears ... as a replacement player during the strike. (Yep: Payton was Keanu Reeves in The Replacements.) By the time we made it to college at the University of Illinois, Payton was there too, as quarterbacks coach; since quarterback was the only position we lazy college sports reporters understood, we talked to him a lot, even about how we remembered watching him as a kid. He said at the time that made him feel old; seeing him hired as a head coach of an NFL team does the same today.

But you want old? Try coaching the Saints. Payton's gonna feel real old, real fast.

It's Payton! [Black And Gold Patrol]
EIU In The Pros [Old Main Vein]

We are proud to report that Childress is the second Eastern Illinois University graduate, along with Mike Shanahan, to coach in the NFL. We, however, would like to suggest to Mr. Childress that, to remain the respect of his players and his fans, wear a hat on the sidelines. It's one thing to be bald, and it's one thing to have a mustache, but it's a whole thing all together to be bald and have a mustache. Which one of those pictures do you respect more? It's not like he's gonna lose the mustache, after all, that would be sacrilege.

Late Coaching Update [Mr. Cheer or Die's Viking Underground]