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eight belles
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eight belles
jesus rides
Dee Mirich Cranks Out The Classic Of All Classics
Many of us have wondered why prolific message board poet Dee Mirich has remained silent on the tragic Eight Belles Kentucky Derby accident. After all, when Barbaro fell, you couldn't swing a dead cat without hitting one of her offerings. But now all is clear: Ms. Mirich had been working feverishly on her magnum opus; a poem that would resonate through the vast reaches of time, perfectlly capturing the mood of a nation. More »
let the horse protests begin
It's PETA's World, We Just Live In It
When future generations study the first decade of the 21st Century, the debate of course will turn to the Great Racehorse Protests of 2008. In the wake of the Eight Belles tragedy at the Kentucky Derby, PETA is bringing all guns to bear on the remaining Triple Crown events; planning protests at the Preakness Stakes in Baltimore next week and the Belmont Stakes in New York in June. Should be lots of fun, with counter-protesting and everything. Hey, wouldn't it be hilarious if we could somehow manage to run the OIympic Torch through those two locations as well? More »
a day at the races
Culprit Found In Eight Belles Tragedy. It's Hillary, Of Course
Backing the wrong horse is always deadly in politics, especially when it's an actual horse. Poor Hillary Clinton. How can someone get into trouble just betting on the Kentucky Derby? By making a huge deal about placing a bet on a horse that had to be destroyed right on the track, that's how. Now PETA is firing broadsides at her, as she wonders how she's going to carry a state — Indiana — in which Dee Mirich resides. More »
horse feathers
It's Getting Crowded In Horse Valhalla
Eight Belles is probably in Heaven by now, galloping in fields of clover on four sturdy legs and eating tasty apples. No, I'm not sure which friends she's romping about with up there (a safe bet; one of them is not Christopher Reeve). Down here on earth, though, things are quite unsettled. Who is to blame? Could the tragedy have been avoided? Does anyone know the whereabouts of Jeff Gillooly? More »
death, be not proud
Death Looms Over Churhill Downs
The death of Eight Belles - the second place finisher in today's Kentucky Derby - makes it pretty difficult to get all that excited over Big Brown's dominating performance. The commentators love to speak of the beauty and humanity of these creatures, yet nobody seemed to mind celebrating before the filly's body could be removed from the track. Brian of Awful Announcing is one of many who profited off of the doomed horse's performance, and I bet they feel equally crappy inside. And I bet they'd feel a lot less crappy if they sent their winnings and betting slips to me, which is why I'm including my address at the end of this post. In real news, the Louisville Courier-Journal has the depressing details.Eight Belles crossed the finish line second in the Kentucky Derby today and then jockey Gabriel Saez heard the worst sound possible - a pop.More »
