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New York, 9:24 PM
Sun Nov 15
16 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Phintastic Phintastic
    11/10/09

    In reply to And Here's One Of The People Who Helped Establish Bill Simmons
    Wonder if the Sports Gal reads Deadspin? That should make for some interesting dinner talk. #billsimmons
     Reply
    Phintastic was starred Phintastic was unstarred
    Image of Proverbial Proverbial
    11/10/09

    In reply to And Here's One Of The People Who Helped Establish Bill Simmons
    Finally, a story on Deadspin about Simmons! #pageviews
     Reply
    J-No promoted this comment Edited by Proverbial at 11/10/09 7:41 PM Proverbial was starred Proverbial was unstarred
    Image of J-No J-No
    11/10/09

    @Proverbial: Finally, a story on Deadspin about tits!

    /really how you get page views #billsimmons
     Reply
    J-No was starred J-No was unstarred
    Image of Karlifornia Karlifornia
    11/10/09

    In reply to And Here's One Of The People Who Helped Establish Bill Simmons
    Erik Kuselias is frantically looking up literary agents in the phone book. #billsimmons
     Reply
    Karlifornia was starred Karlifornia was unstarred
    Image of toga toga
    11/10/09

    In reply to And Here's One Of The People Who Helped Establish Bill Simmons
    from the post:
    "He was so happy to see me. He hugged me and rubbed up against my titties. My pussy was so wet! I wanted to do him right there!!"

    next big google trend: bill simmons ex-wife
     Reply
    The Gizmo from Pismo promoted this comment toga was starred toga was unstarred
    Image of The Gizmo from Pismo The Gizmo from Pismo
    11/10/09

    @toga: +1 Though...can the porn biz have messed her up so much that Simmons makes her wet? #billsimmons
     Reply
    The Gizmo from Pismo was starred The Gizmo from Pismo was unstarred
    Image of safarihat12 safarihat12
    11/10/09

    In reply to And Here's One Of The People Who Helped Establish Bill Simmons
    Well, with a last name like Cummz her career options were certainly limited. Does anybody happen to know the nation of origin of that last name by any chance? I can't quite seem to figure it out. #billsimmons
     Reply
    AzureTexan promoted this comment safarihat12 was starred safarihat12 was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    11/10/09

    @safarihat12: Her nation of origin is one of the following: Djibooty, Licktenstein, Hungary, or Gangbangladesh. Or maybe she’s a Pole. She is NOT a Virgin Islander. #billsimmons
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of David Hume David Hume
    11/10/09

    @AzureTexan: Gangbangladesh? Wow. #billsimmons
     Reply
    David Hume was starred David Hume was unstarred
    Image of AzureTexan AzureTexan
    11/10/09

    @David Hume: Nice country, though a bit crowded. #billsimmons
     Reply
    AzureTexan was starred AzureTexan was unstarred
    Image of Phintastic Phintastic
    11/10/09

    @safarihat12:

    Based on her work, I'm guessing at least some of her family is from the Isle of Lesbos. #billsimmons
     Reply
    Phintastic was starred Phintastic was unstarred
    Image of safarihat12 safarihat12
    11/10/09

    @AzureTexan: Yeah it is tough to pinpoint. Perhaps if we rent "Christmas Cummz Early This Year" on DVD it will give us a look into her family traditions and we can get an idea of where they originate from. I would love to take a look into a Cummzes(?) family gathering to finally figure this out. #billsimmons
     Reply
    safarihat12 was starred safarihat12 was unstarred
    Image of ScientificMapp ScientificMapp
    11/10/09

    @David Hume: Gangbangladesh is a definite winner. #billsimmons
     Reply
    ScientificMapp was starred ScientificMapp was unstarred
    Image of Tracy Ham and Eggs Tracy Ham and Eggs
    11/10/09

    In reply to Bill Simmons, Establishment
    I still go back and reread his running NBA draft diary each year. And when things like Manny getting busted or Boston trading for Garnett happens I want to make sure to see what he has to say.

    Yes, a big part of his writing is pop culture mad libs, but the man is still funny and relevant.. #billsimmons
     Reply
    Tracy Ham and Eggs was starred Tracy Ham and Eggs was unstarred
    Image of andrewstiling andrewstiling
    11/10/09

    In reply to Bill Simmons, Establishment
    It definitely did bug me that Simmons sat in the ESPN suite when he came to mexico city in August for the US-mexico world cup qualifier instead of the US fan section ("I have kids and if I sat there I wouldn't make it home alive.") (paraphrase)

    I was sitting with the American fan section and it was the craziest time I've had at a sporting event in my life. 100 police w/ riot gear surrounding our section, having everything imaginable thrown at us constantly for 2 hours.

    I definitely have less respect for his "average fan" shtick when he passed up the opportunity to be an "average fan" at what he calls the most hostile sporting event he's ever been to in his life.
     Reply
    The Gizmo from Pismo promoted this comment andrewstiling was starred andrewstiling was unstarred
    Image of The Gizmo from Pismo The Gizmo from Pismo
    11/10/09

    @andrewstiling: Really? I salute his intelligence. If lucky, the air in the suite was probably a lot healthier too. #billsimmons
     Reply
    The Gizmo from Pismo was starred The Gizmo from Pismo was unstarred
    Image of Juancho Juancho
    11/10/09

    In reply to Bill Simmons, Establishment
    I find it amusing that Bill Simmons manages to walk the line of the "average" fan, when he's been a child of privilege his entire life. No one went to "The Gahden" or Fenway so much or got to attend Holy Cross and get by just by bartending if they weren't.

    Yes, this is semi-professional jealousy, but I think we all can admit Bill Simmons has led a pretty charmed life. #billsimmons
     Reply
    Juancho was starred Juancho was unstarred
    Image of TexasGopher TexasGopher
    11/10/09

    @Juancho: I think saying Simmons is privileged is stretching it. His father was a school administrator his whole career, which isn't exactly a high-paying gig. I think it's just that baseball and basketball tickets were much cheaper on average back then, so season tickets were more affordable for the common fan.

    My parents covered my private college education, but it wasn't because my family was rich by any stretch. It's because my father made my education his top priority over a big house, a nice car, or anything else. I imagine Simmons's father was the same way.

    Of course, like the idiot I am, I didn't fully appreciate Dad's sacrifices until I went to law school, which I had to pay for. My father's birthday is tomorrow and I finally have a firm job... it's time to make amends. #billsimmons
     Reply
    Moonshine Mike promoted this comment TexasGopher was starred TexasGopher was unstarred
    Image of Juancho Juancho
    11/10/09

    @TexasGopher: aside from grades 4-7, I went to Catholic school. And after many years in psychotherapy, I can say-

    He was the gifted, only child of a divorce- taking him to a ton of sporting events has "guilt gifts" written all over it.

    I have a college degree and (Thank God, seriously) have a steady, albeit soul-crushing job. I make a little under 30k, and am trying to figure out how I can afford grad school, and maybe get married and have a family, and somehow find time to write. Simmons went to grad school then made a living solely as a bartender in one of the most expensive metro areas in the U.S.? Something doesn't add up.

    Drew had a great assessment of Simmons, his fandom, and his book a week or two ago in his column.

    Again, he has a great life and family, and he gets paid huge money to crack jokes and write about sports and pop culture. This is just me being green-eyed.

    I just don't buy the whole "man of the people" thing, like when his wife supposedly walked off from whatever writing she was doing for ESPN.com on The Bachelor/ette because Disney supposedly wouldn't give her season passes to Disneyland.

    Bill, please don't insult my intelligence.

    Ok, fuck I'm bummed at the moment. Dickjoke, anyone? #billsimmons
     Reply
    Juancho was starred Juancho was unstarred
    Image of docjcl docjcl
    11/11/09

    @Juancho: You know why there's a term for "guilt gifts"? Because it's a common occurrence, something that happens to alot of people. I don't see how any of that changes his perspective as a sports fan. He got "guilt gifts" as a child and therefore his opinion on sports is invalid?
     Reply
    Juancho promoted this comment docjcl was starred docjcl was unstarred
    Image of Juancho Juancho
    11/12/09

    I'm amused (and delighted) that this is still generating (intelligent) conversation 2 days later. Let me preface this by saying that I also enjoy Bill Simmons, but I think he's being disingenuous at the very least in regards to his upbringing and/or paygrade within ESPN/Disney, and some of his familiar tropes are really starting to wear thin.

    I'll try and respond to a few points:

    First of all, yes, it is pretty standard to bartend (or waitress) and make a living. However, the majority of people do it in addition to something else, especially if a) they're young and b) live in the big city. I don't know exactly about Bill (I can't listen to all his Podcasts), but between watching sports, writing and trying to get laid in his 20s, I'd have to guess it wasn't a full-time gig.

    @CaptFamous: $30K (6 nights a week, HA!) doesn't go nearly as far in NYC or Boston (even with roommates), as it does here in Cleveland...and I still live paycheck-to-paycheck, pretty well within my means due to their being no other choice.

    @docjcl: I never said his perspective wasn't valid, just disingenuous. I don't know rabid fans who have gone to the number of games Simmons has, let alone average ones. I give him some credit for actually paying for Clips season tix and not using a press pass, but he uses it in his work so much like a badge of honor that it's almost obnoxious. He makes it seem like people who don't watch or attend games like he does aren't quite up to snuff, and he's a major web media figure!

    @eduardjm: haven't had a chance to yet, but it's on my to-read list. I'm a librarian, work hazard. And it is on my list to purchase, not borrow from work. #billsimmons
     Reply
    Juancho was starred Juancho was unstarred
    Image of Matt_T Matt_T
    11/10/09

    In reply to Bill Simmons, Establishment
    Verse Chorus Verse Somebody's been listening to Nirvana all week, huh Will? #billsimmons
     Reply
    Matt_T was starred Matt_T was unstarred
    Image of the earl of weaver the earl of weaver
    11/10/09

    In reply to Bill Simmons, Establishment
    You're missing nine humans. #billsimmons
     Reply
    the earl of weaver was starred the earl of weaver was unstarred
    Image of emma.carmichael emma.carmichael
    11/10/09

    In reply to Bill Simmons, Establishment
    "Somewhere out there, there's a college student with a viewpoint different than everyone else, and he'll show up and change everything too, exposing Simmons (and the rest of us) the way he did to Reilly."

    i would like to think, however naive this may be, that that college student could also be a woman. actually, i think Bill would agree.
     Reply
    Will Leitch promoted this comment emma.carmichael was starred emma.carmichael was unstarred
    Image of Will Leitch Will Leitch
    11/10/09

    @emma.carmichael: An excellent point. #billsimmons
     Reply
    Will Leitch was starred Will Leitch was unstarred
    Image of formerly Chief Wahoo formerly Chief Wahoo
    11/10/09

    In reply to Bill Simmons, Establishment
    Christ, Leitch, you make Gomer Pyle seem like a pessimist in comparison. #billsimmons
     Reply
    formerly Chief Wahoo was starred formerly Chief Wahoo was unstarred
    Image of Gravy Gravy
    11/10/09

    In reply to Bill Simmons, Establishment
    Bill Simmons is early '60s Elvis.

    Also starring...
    - Leitch as the mop-topped leader of the Mattoon Invasion

    - Buzz Bissinger as the early hater turned dubious ally, Frank Sinatra

    - Jay Mariotti as the clueless crooner of inanity, Frankie Avalon

    and guest starring...

    - Norby Williamson as the gatekeeper nonpareil, Ed Sullivan

    with a special appearance by Chris Berman as that lovable comedic idiot, Buddy Hackett #billsimmons
     Reply
    Bobby Big Wheel promoted this comment Gravy was starred Gravy was unstarred
    Image of Pedro Cuatro Cinco Pedro Cuatro Cinco
    11/10/09

    In reply to Bill Simmons, Establishment
    "Established" and "Establishment" are not the same thing. #billsimmons
     Reply
    Pedro Cuatro Cinco was starred Pedro Cuatro Cinco was unstarred
    Image of MitchKayak MitchKayak
    11/10/09

    In reply to Bill Simmons, Establishment
    that painting is horrifying, with the cold dead eyes. #billsimmons
     Reply
    MitchKayak was starred MitchKayak was unstarred
    Image of Silent Q Silent Q
    11/10/09

    @MitchKayak: For the life of me, I'll never understand why Leroy Nieman decided to paint Andy Bernard. #billsimmons
     Reply
    Silent Q was starred Silent Q was unstarred
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