Fuck The British Royal Family

His Royal Highness Prince William Arthur Philip Louis, Duke of Cambridge, Earl of Strathearn, Baron Carrickfergus, Royal Knight Companion of the Most Noble Order of the Garter, Knight of the Most Ancient and Most Noble Order of the Thistle, Personal Aide-de-Camp to Her Majesty The Queen, looks like a goddamn donkey.… » 12/09/14 11:10am 12/09/14 11:10am

England Didn't Change After All

The new dawn, the changing of the guard, a new broom to sweep England clean. Call it whatever tired sporting cliché you like—this World Cup was meant to be the start of an exciting new era for the England team. The 1996 European Championship that so nearly ended in glory was meant to be the spark that set English… » 6/24/14 11:31am 6/24/14 11:31am

Uruguay-England: Is This Anfield?

If Luis Suárez were healthy we would have seen him in Uruguay's shock loss to Costa Rica. Instead Uruguayan manager Oscar Tabárez, trailing by a goal with only fifteen minutes remaining, opted to bring on Palermo striker Abel Hernández. Hernández, a player hyped as "the next big thing" long enough for the title to… » 6/19/14 2:30pm 6/19/14 2:30pm

England's Trainer Injures Himself Celebrating Sturridge Equalizer

The first half of England-Italy had a little bit of everything. Italy took a 1-0 lead on a long-distance strike from midfielder Claudio Marchisio. England, likely preoccupied with Andrea Pirlo, bit on his drive on the ball and left Marchisio all alone. He put it right inside the post. » 6/14/14 7:35pm 6/14/14 7:35pm

Why England Should Fear The Crafty, Italian Genius Of Andrea Pirlo

If international soccer teams' styles represent their national characters—and Henry Kissinger says they do, so who am I to argue?—few encounters bring that out better than England-Italy. To the English, the Italians have always been skillful, stylish, crafty, and untrustworthy, both on the pitch and off—they switched… » 6/14/14 5:38pm 6/14/14 5:38pm

Italy To Play England Without Goalkeeper And Captain Gianluigi Buffon

36-year-old goalkeeper Gianluigi Buffon has been ruled out of tonight's match against England after tweaking his ankle training Friday night in Manaus. Italian coach Cesare Prandelli initially downplayed the injury—"It is nothing serious but, yes, he left training early and, yes, is having treatment."—but on Saturday… » 6/14/14 1:58pm 6/14/14 1:58pm

British Comedian Almost Sneaks On Team England's World Cup Plane

Simon Brodkin is a British actor/comedian/prankster who plays, among other characters, a soccer player named Jason Bent. Brodkin, dressed in character as Bent, got amongst team England on a private tarmac at Luton Airport and tried to board the plane the squad was taking to Miami as they begin training for the World… » 6/01/14 7:20pm 6/01/14 7:20pm