Bournemouth And Everton Just Combined For the Best Finish Of The Premier League Season

Bournemouth and Everton just finished up a 3-3 barnburner that featured a Ross Barkley goal in the 95th minute, a mob of Everton fans rushing the pitch, then a Bournemouth equalizer after that in the 98th. Bournemouth’s first came in the 80th from Adam Smith, the English right back and noted economist, when he curled… »Yesterday 12:33pm11/28/15 12:33pm

Eagle-Punching Menace Arrested In London Suburb

The bald eagle is one of the most majestic creatures to grace our Earth, a beautiful bird that humankind has come to interpret as a symbol of freedom and defiance. According to Defenders Of Wildlife, there are some 70,000 bald eagles left in North America, which is the happy ending to a remarkable recovery story that… »11/21/15 12:03pm11/21/15 12:03pm

Jamie Vardy Is The Premier League's Most Unlikely Star

For many in the England team, this international break was just another tune-up before the culmination of a long process in France next summer. Most all of them have been groomed from a young age; the majority of these Englishmen had been noticed and selected for greatness when they were teens. This is decidedly not… »11/16/15 12:58pm11/16/15 12:58pm

Chelsea Fan Loses Job After Calling Liverpool Fans "Scouse Scum" In Online Interview

Looks like José Mourinho isn’t the only Chelsea fan who’s lost it on camera this season. One Blues fan and former partner at an international law firm had to pay for this man-on-the-street interview, where he rails against “Scouse scum” Liverpool fans for rooting against Mourinho, with his job. »11/09/15 3:22pm11/09/15 3:22pm

Why Chelsea Should Stick With José Mourinho

This Chelsea season is beginning to feel like that “Sideshow Bob Steps On Rakes For 10 Minutes” video. The first couple self-inflicted thwacks in the face were funny; the next few established the pattern; and when it continued repeating from there it became even more hysterical than ever, leaving you in stitches if… »11/09/15 12:17pm11/09/15 12:17pm

Referee: Irate José Mourinho Cussed Me Out In Dressing Room

Earlier this week, England’s Football Association gave José Mourinho a fine and a one-match ban from the sideline for some sort of behavior that got him sent to the stands during halftime of Chelsea’s 1-2 loss to West Ham. Now we know exactly why: it was because Mourinho freaked the fuck out on the refs. »11/06/15 3:50pm11/06/15 3:50pm

Wins Were All José Mourinho Ever Had To Stand On

The only thing more unfathomable than a historically great manager having his job status seriously questioned just half a season removed from a title, is said manager and club falling apart so thoroughly that the speculation about his imminent demise begins to appear justified. And yet this is exactly the situation… »11/04/15 3:00pm11/04/15 3:00pm

Arsenal Might Be The Real Deal

Since that beatdown on Manchester United a couple weeks ago, it’s been hard to avoid the sense that this just might be Arsenal’s year. With Chelsea’s continued horrendous form so far this season, United’s unimpressive performances undermining their point total, Liverpool’s lack of consistency, and Manchester City … »11/02/15 12:44pm11/02/15 12:44pm

José Mourinho Continues To Lose, Then Give Great Postgame Interviews

Chelsea lost at home today, as they’ve been doing all season, and José Mourinho gave some performatively defiant comments about his tenuous job status, as he’s been doing all season. Chelsea’s season from hell got worse as they let Liverpool come back and beat them 3-1 on a pair of tremendous Coutinho strikes. Here’s… »10/31/15 2:26pm10/31/15 2:26pm

Gerard Deulofeu Is Kind Of A Nutcase But I Love Him All The Same

If the whole of Arsenal’s 2-1 win over Everton this weekend left me with any lasting impression, it was that I should give more respect to the Gunners’ budding title charge; they more or less coasted to another three points against formidable opposition, the sort of thing they’ve seemed capable of in recent years but… »10/26/15 5:58pm10/26/15 5:58pm

Daniel Sturridge Has No Luck

If you wanted more proof that Daniel Sturridge is cursed with terrible, rotten, no-good luck, here you go: after finally returning to action about a month ago after last spring’s hip surgery, the Liverpool striker is set to miss his third consecutive match with knee discomfort and will undergo a scan to see if doctors… »10/23/15 12:35pm10/23/15 12:35pm

David Moyes Belongs In The Premier League

David Moyes, the once-esteemed former manager of Everton and Manchester United, is in trouble. After getting run out of the biggest job in the Premier League in humiliating fashion, he fled to the relatively calm shores of Basque Country. There, he sought to rehabilitate his career with ambitious and talent-rich Real… »10/21/15 4:35pm10/21/15 4:35pm

Manchester United Are (Sort Of) For Real, Apparently

By losing to a surprisingly rampant Arsenal in their previous league game before the international break, Manchester United more or less confirmed our sneaking suspicions about this team’s place in the EPL hierarchy. Their spot in the table may make them technically contenders but there still remains a gap between the… »10/19/15 4:46pm10/19/15 4:46pm

José Mourinho's Self-Regard Grows In Inverse Proportion To Chelsea's Record

Hey remember when David Moyes coached United for a year, everyone agreed it was an unmitigated disaster, and it became the standard by which to measure all EPL meltdowns? José Mourinho, the little tyrant man who will probably get fired from the USMNT someday, and Chelsea have started this season three points worse… »10/04/15 11:48am10/04/15 11:48am

Sergio Agüero Goes Supernova, Scores 5 Goals in 20 Minutes

Manchester City were losing today’s match to Newcastle 1-0 for most of the first half until Sergio Agüero went all Robert Lewandowski and rung up five quick goals to kill the game dead in a matter of minutes. Incredibly, he did the Whole Shit with a mere nine touches. It was sudden and violent and Newcastle should… »10/03/15 11:46am10/03/15 11:46am