This Louis Van Gaal-Sam Allardyce Long Ball Beef Is Really Stupid

Manchester United manager Louis van Gaal shrugs off most criticisms with a sneer and a reminder of his groaning trophy shelf. "What can you possibly tell me," his look says, "Louis the Great?" But don't, for the love of God, impugn his tactics. For that offense, he will pull out all the stops to prove you wrong. » 2/10/15 11:43am 2/10/15 11:43am

How Harry Kane Owned The Best Weekend Of The Premier League Season

You want to know why the Premier League is the best league in the world? It's for weekends like this past one, which feature a handful of headliner games, a couple more you didn't think would be that competitive but end up going down to the wire, and even when the title race is all but decided already, there's still… » 2/09/15 4:05pm 2/09/15 4:05pm

Man City Saves Draw With 92nd-Minute Free Kick Goal

James Milner helped Manchester City avoid an embarrassing home loss to lowly Hull City with this gorgeous stoppage-time free kick goal. To be fair, even a draw is shocking; Etihad Stadium spent most of the match silent as supporters watched their team fart around and be dominated by the bottom-three side. » 2/07/15 11:56am 2/07/15 11:56am

West Brom Want To Sell Their Best Player, But Not Before They Smear Him

West Brom are on the higher end of the Premier League's lower class, where good seasons involve winning relegation battles with a few weeks to spare and bad ones involve fingernails gnawed down to the nub. As such, they have little to offer players with loftier ambitions and the talent to get them there. So when they… » 2/05/15 4:39pm 2/05/15 4:39pm

Premier League Manager Resigns Because His Knee Hurts

The good ol', free-wheelin', tactics-ignorin', loveable Harry Redknapp is in pain. Not, he'd have us believe, because of his struggling QPR team's lackluster Premier League performances, or the because his owner laughed off the prospect of adding any bodies in the newly-closed transfer window while subtweeting… » 2/03/15 6:33pm 2/03/15 6:33pm

Your January Transfer Window Roundup

Another January past, and another transfer window closes as the rumor mill, hype machine, and hope-mongering all come to screeching halts. For a little while, at least. But this window did have some fascinating moves, so let's take the opportunity to break down all the transfers that caught our eye during the only… » 2/03/15 5:28pm 2/03/15 5:28pm

Premier League Title All But Wrapped Up As Chelsea And City Draw

Sensing an opportunity for cross promotion, NBC broadcast today's Premier League action from Glendale, Arizona, the site of the Super Bowl. Though he was on site in London, broadcaster Arlo White made sure to explain to the American audience that, without any playoffs, the forthcoming Chelsea-Manchester City match was… » 1/31/15 3:30pm 1/31/15 3:30pm

Tomáš Rosický Is Arsenal's Irreplaceable Security Blanket

It takes more than the couple dozen legs of Arsenal's preferred starting XI to carry the club towards their annual fourth place finish in the Premier League and deep though ultimately unsuccessful (though not always!) runs in the other major tournaments. Rotation, fatigue, and the handful of crucial injuries that… » 1/27/15 11:14am 1/27/15 11:14am

How Long Can Southampton Realistically Keep This Run Going?

We figured that, by the turn of the year, we'd have a better idea of what exactly Southampton were. Are they a real threat to the Premier League's giants? Are they a club that could hang on to their top-four place? Or is their hot first half of the season a blip, a bit of good fortune that would sooner or later peter… » 1/09/15 12:50pm 1/09/15 12:50pm

Fans Righteously Pissed At Realizing NYCFC Is A Glorified Farm Team

The strange Frank Lampard/NYCFC/Manchester City love triangle always felt like it was going to end in a bit of a train wreck, with Lampard's stay with City set to end this month and the MLS expansion club counting on him to be its face. Well, that train just jumped the tracks: Lampard is staying in England, and fans… » 1/02/15 12:18pm 1/02/15 12:18pm

How Real Are These Rumors About Gareth Bale To Manchester United?

The January transfer window is almost here, which means the rumor mill is just starting to rev up into the senseless, self-serving, outlandish, and dangerously addicting clusterfuck we've come to expect. And while some of the rumors can already be written off fairly easily—Barcelona to sell Busquets? lol—this whole… » 12/24/14 9:16am 12/24/14 9:16am

Yaya Touré Is Back To Smashing In The Goals

It was a bit of a shaky start for Yaya Touré this season, and as Manchester City's best player, it's meant a bit of a shaky start for the club. But today's match against Crystal Palace saw him back to the position he's most comfortable in, finishing off a perfectly worked counter by bludgeoning the ball home. » 12/20/14 9:54am 12/20/14 9:54am

Chile Is Obsessed With Alexis Sánchez's Sex Life

New Arsenal star Alexis Sánchez has come into the Premier League and torn shit up. Naturally, his native Chile has been very interested in their local hero's exploits. And while there hasn't been too much to worry about in terms of his playing performance, the country's press has kept a close eye on his performance in… » 12/17/14 2:38pm 12/17/14 2:38pm