Erin Andrews
Joked with Bill Cosby.
Turned 31.
Hit by foul ball.
Attacked by tiger.
Snooped in a hotel.
Confirmed the snooping.
Caused kvetching.
Splashed across New York Post front page.
Called 911.
Posed for GQ.
Talked to Oprah.
Went back to work.
Busted that peeper punk.
Seriously, check out that dude.

There are two keys to any great Halloween costume—originality and recognition factor. It's a very delicate and tricky balance, especially when it comes to something large swaths of the population don't give a crap about, like famous athletes. So consider your potential audience. You could go with something that everyone will get—like say, Brett Favre—but risk being the 16th person to show up at the party wearing a No. 4 jersey. Real clever. Or you could go obscure—like say, Howie Schwab—and risk having people think you're a confused Hartford Whalers fan who just wandered into the wrong bar. Even Howie himself would be stumped by that costume.

So how do you find the perfect outfit that will blow everyone way simply because no one else ever thought they could pull it off? Don't ask me. For the 29th year in a row, I will be going as Tweety-Bird. It won me the $3 first-prize at the Fire Department Cake Walk/Children's Halloween Parade in 1980 and I will continue to dance with the one the brung me. However, I would like to offer a couple suggestions.

For the ladies:

Bad Costume Idea: "Naked Erin Andrews." Seriously, New York Post. That's just ... wow.
Better Costume Idea: Lingerie Football Player. No one will get what you're actually going for, but it won't matter because "Hey, it's a girl in lingerie." You and every other sexy witch/maid/cop/cheerleader/nurse/insect/etc.....
Best Costume Idea: Zola Budd. Get a South African running singlet, a bad 80's wig and then walk around tripping people all night. Just try to avoid any parties with guests under 30 years old.

For the mens:

Bad Costume Idea: "George Brett Crapping His Pants." I'm sorry, did you not want to get laid on the sluttiest holiday of the year?

(Slightly) Better Costume Idea: "Kenny Powers." When done right (as it is here) it could be effective, but KMF'nP is a little played out. Try something more obscure like "Roy Hobbs" or "Arli$$." (Everyone loves Robert Wuhl!) [Photo by Kevin R.]
(Much) Better Costume Idea: "Adrian Peterson, In Nike Battle Armor." Degree of difficulty extremely high, but if you can simulate the hexagonal scaly skin thing—without devolving into an offensive blackface minstrel show—you will not only creep everyone out, you will have your finger on the pulse of American advertising. Excellent product placement opportunities.
Best Costume Idea: "Alex Rodriguez's Mirror." Invite ladies to stare longingly at your purple lips and bulging pectorals. Little do they know, your costume is actually a secret kissing booth.

Aww, yeah.

Whatever you choose, send us the pics of yourself, your friends, or anyone you run into who goes above and beyond this weekend and we'll run a big gallery on Monday. Please keep the submissions to sports-related costumes. I don't want to spend my entire morning deleting 500 Zombie Balloon Boy emails next week. (Seriously, if you're going as him or any dead celebrity from 2009 then you have zero imagination. Just stay home and read the encyclopedia or something.)

"I always want to stay in sport. But at some point, I have to start thinking about starting a family. That's why I'll start cutting back. I have to take my personal life into account. I can't imagine not being a part of sports in the fall. I see my future [remaining] in TV. The only change coming is to start thinking about my personal life and family. It's kind of time."

Interesting tense. This isn't that surprising a statement, given how crappy her summer was, but it seems to indicate that we'll see less and less of EA in the future after she re-prioritizes. Her contract isn't up any time super-soon (like, not in the next month or anything) but ESPN will probably have to figure out a new way to utilize Erin Andrews as she goes through whatever process she's going through right now.

As far as the baby-making, it's not known if Andrews is planning on marrying anyone (let alone seeing somebody), but I'm sure those are the types of personal details she'd prefer not disclosing at this point. Fair enough.

When you start bathing in the gossip hog shit kiddie pool, as this site has tended to do on occasion, stories like this usually come from anonymous sources because that's how hog shit is made into sausage.(Congratulate me for breaking the world record for pork metaphors in one sentence.)

For disclosure's sake, let's just say he's probably the closest thing you'd get to an "expert" on all things TMZ-related and a trusted confidant of this site. (Not Nick Denton. Don't trust that guy whatsoever.) And this email came unsolicited, late on Saturday night, which is usually the best time for such ranting.

For those interested, take it as is.

AJ:

You are so on target about TMZ's role in this Erin Andrews thing. Here's a few things to keep in mind:

They had these videos in their possession a full six months before the story broke (their item today notes, Someone tried to sell the clips to TMZ, but we refused to buy or air them because they were an obvious invasion of Erin's privacy).

Okay, if this was such an outrageous and invasive (and likely criminal) act on the part of the person trying to sell the videos, why the fuck didn't TMZ do a story back in January about the attempted sale of the videos? Or try and determine the identity of the person behind the Yahoo address from which they were sent?

Wouldn't that be the first thing a reputable outfit (with clean hands) would do? How fucking hard would it have been to figure out who the source was? He contacted them looking for cash...and was wide open to being stung if TMZ wanted to out him. That would have been a huge story—and one with legs, since Barrett would have invariably been arrested, tried, convicted, etc. The site would have looked like heroic crimebusters.

But they do nothing. Harvey Levin & Co. sat on their fucking hands for half-a-year knowing that this crime had occurred and said nothing. Only after it blows up do they roll over for Andrews's attorney.

Perhaps what really happened back in January was they were trying to negotiate a deal and could not come to terms with the guy. There's a reason why Levin lied to you about not knowing anything about the tape (and why TMZ published that phony smokescreen about the tapes possibly being done by an ESPN employee).

As a very close reader of TMZ, I can tell you that they have never ever passed up the chance to do a story about a celebrity sex/naked tape or photos. Never. They constantly do stories about purported offers for stars to pose nude or appear in pornos (Octomom, etc.). These are usually bullshit stories created (and fed to TMZ) by porn outfits like Vivid, but Harvey jumps on them and attaches that red TMZ "Exclusive" banner to each one.

The one sex video story TMZ never reported out was the one about which they exclusively knew all the details.

Also, this "we refused to buy or air them because they were an obvious invasion of Erin's privacy" crap might come as a surprise to Rihanna, whose battered face they splashed all over their site (after purchasing the police evidence photo from, it appears, an LAPD cop).

Couple of other things. The federal complaint says that Barrett sent TMZ clips on January 28 and January 29. Did he send more videos on the 29th because TMZ asked to see extra stuff?

According to the complaint, Barrett sent the videos to the e-mail address of Dennis Broad, a key Levin deputy. How did Barrett get that address (which is nowhere on the site)? Seems obvious that Barrett's contacts with TMZ were not limited to those two e-mails he sent. Might he have first contacted them via their tip phone line (or tip e-mail account) and been directed to send the stuff to Broad?

Also, I think your assertion that Levin has access to the FBI is likely not accurate. He laundered the info through Andrews's lawyer for a reason. He'd prefer that TMZ stays an arm's length away from the bureau. I'm sure he does not want to set a precedent whereby he directly provides a law enforcement agency with information leading to the arrest of one of the site's prospective paid "sources." Because if he's open to doing that, how could he defend against a police/prosecutor request/subpoena to give up the Rihanna cop?

Of course, by using Andrews's lawyer as a pass-through, he may have effectively waived that privilege anyway.

Finally, it is worth looking at the case of Roderick Davis, an L.A. guy who was arrested in 2007 for stealing a variety of production photos, documents, etc. related to the last Indiana Jones movie. TMZ had clearly gotten hold of some of this material (which Davis had been offering for sale to gossip sites) and used it in a story on their TV show. So they know something about hot/illegally obtained goods

See here

Mr. Levin has yet to respond to our second email query about all this fun stuff. I'll keep trying and update if/when he does.

As you were.

According to the affidavit, Michael David Barrett contacted Dennis Broad of TMZ on January 28th and tried to broker a deal for his grainy EA peephole footage. TMZ turned him down because they wanted no parts of it, according to Harvey Levin. I spoke to Levin on July 16th, after the links to the footage started to show up in our inbox to see if he'd heard anything about it. At the time, Levin said he "knew nothing about it" and "wouldn't run it anyway because it's illegal." Fair enough. But once the story broke and it couldn't be ignored any longer, TMZ went full-throttle on Erin Andrews after "reviewing" the tape that had been sent to them in January, apparently.

So they have a possible lead on the man's identity, Levin's talking to EA's lawyer, Marshall Grossman, yet TMZ continued to float theories that this was possibly an ESPN employee even though they have a key bit of evidence and access to the FBI and EA's legal team that would give them full control of the story. But instead of following up on all of these latest revelations as they happen, they opted to go with her old yearbook photo.

I spoke to Thom Mrozek of the US Attorney's office and he told me that there were some questions about how TMZ handled it and some of their inconsistent reporting given they knew so much about it. Mrozek didn't want to speak on behalf of TMZ or speculate as to why it happened. And, surprisingly, Levin has not responded yet to my email request to answer this question either. I'm very popular.

I emailed Grossman and asked him when TMZ provided the information to them and what the status of any civil suits were at this point: "We initiated contact with all potential sources of information as we believe the government did as well. Since this is a case in progress I am unable to provide further detail. As far as civil action is concerned those decisions will be made when we are satisfied that all investigations have matured."

But is TMZ part of the investigation?

"Not as I would describe it. We have looked at every web site and media outlet for information from the get go. That includes yours."

This man is terrifyingly curt. At least he wrote back.

****

Thanks for the continued support of Deadspin and the Deadspin Anarchy Team. KOGOD's in tomorrow to do his best Peggy Noonan impersonation as well. Now, have fun at the wedding.

According to an AP report, Michael David Barrett, 48, of Westmont, Illinois, was arrested late on Friday night at O'Hare International Airport. Earlier in the day he was named in a federal criminal complaint in Los Angeles that did not mention Andrews by name, but did reference an on-air ESPN personality. The man was tracked down via an email sent to TMZ, allegedly offering to sell them video of a nude Andrews filmed surreptitiously in her hotel room. In addition:

An FBI investigation allegedly uncovered evidence that Barrett registered at a Milwaukee hotel where Andrews was staying in July 2008, but he never checked in. However, a peephole on her door was altered, the FBI said.

According to CNN, there was a similar incident at a hotel in Nashville back in September 2008. Barrett checked into a room adjacent to Andrews' and the peephole on her door had been tampered with. It's believed that most of the videos in question were filmed at that hotel. It's not clear at this time if the man has any previous connection to Andrews.

I had assumed from the very beginning that this crime would go unsolved, but yay for the FBI. Never underestimate greed and stupidity. Look for more updates in the morning and throughout the weekend.

FBI: Man arrested in ESPN reporter nude video case [AP]
Westmont man charged in connection with Erin Andrews nude video [Chicago Sun-Times]
FBI arrests Westmont man in ESPN nude video case [Chicago Breaking News]
Arrest Made in Erin Andrews Peeping Tom Case [TMZ]
Arrest made in ESPN reporter's voyeur video case [CNN]

Since it's my final post of the day and I've already shit all over the Big Ten, Auburn fans, Tim Tebow and Nick Saban, allow me to share a heart-warming little story with you fine folks, a story I'll call, "The Best Job a Sports Fan Could Ever Have."

Back in what seems like another life, before I moved to New York and was still living in Baton Rouge, I received a call one day from a friend of mine who worked in the sports information department at LSU. He called to ask if I'd like to work for ESPN on the sideline of LSU football home games as a parabolic microphone operator. He said that the network usually hired four locals for freelance work whenever they came to town to broadcast a game and one of the guys who always did it in the past had moved out of town, so there was an opening and he thought I'd be good for it. Naturally, I jumped at the chance, so he put me in touch with some producer or whatever and I was hired over the phone. For the first two years of the Saban regime at LSU I was ESPN's guy (for $200 a game) on the sideline in Tiger Stadium on the south end zone side of the LSU sideline. It was pure heaven. Sadly, I had to give it up when I moved to the northeast. That was sort of tragic, but alas...

Now, if you're unfamiliar with the terminology, the parabolic mic guy is the person you'll often see on the sidelines holding something that looks like a small satellite dish at chest level. The mic is used to pick up many of the sounds you hear during the broadcast of a game: a quarterback calling plays under center, helmets crashing together, etc. The device itself is nothing short of amazing, as you can literally aim it into a crowd of 90,000 people and listen to individual conversations hundreds of feet away, not to mention hearing everything being said on the field and sidelines. So yeah, this gig was quite stellar...imagine not only getting to watch most of your favorite college team's home games from the sidelines AND getting to hear pretty much anything you wanted to hear on the field on top of it. Over the course of the two seasons I did this "job," I learned a number of things. I'll share a few of them with you now:

-Nick Saban has the most vulgar mouth I've ever heard over the course of my life. Now, I pride myself on being a bit of a vulgarian, so I'm not easily shocked by such things, but Saban's use of profanity on the sideline was just over the top. I've been called many things by coaches and I've heard coaches call athletes many things, but I don't think I've ever heard a coach call one of his own players a "cunt" until I heard it come from Saban.

-ESPN is hyper-sensitive to the theft of their apparel. For every game, each of us parabolic mic guys were outfitted with an ESPN vest and we were told we would face harsh consequences up to and including termination if the vests weren't turned back in immediately following the games. It became kind of a running joke between me and the other parabolic mic guys that they were more concerned about the stupid fucking vests than they were for the expensive sound equipment we roamed the sidelines with while monstrous young men crashed all around us.

-Fred Smoot is a trash-talker of epic proportions. Seriously, some of the stuff that came out of Smoot's mouth when he was at Missisippi State was just awe-inspiring. It almost seemed as though he hired a private detective to do background research on all of LSU's wideouts prior to playing them. He was well-informed and his delivery and timing were impeccable. Fred Smoot is the man.

-Former ESPN sideline reporter Adrian Karsten, who committed suicide in 2005 after being convicted for tax evasion, was a massive prick who was almost universally loathed by everyone, players, coaches, and ESPN personnel. I know it's frowned upon to speak ill of the dead but the guy was just an insufferable asshole. God forbid anyone blocked his sightline or stepped on his cord. And now we have Erin Andrews! Why was she not around back then? And on the subject of sideline reporters, Michelle Tafoya is a delightful sweetheart. I still have a slight crush on her.

-Old Cajun ladies who get drunk at football games will often thumb through game programs and speculate on the cock sizes of college athletes. I know this from the many halftimes I spent scanning the crowd for interesting conversations. And now you know.

Anyway, it's been a fun Saturday and below is a funny video of animals competing at sports to make it even fun-er. Enjoy and have a great Saturday night. I'm off to watch the LSU/Vandy game. Geaux Tigers!

There was nothing too revelatory or emotional in the two brief segments—except when it turned out that the Andrews parents were in the audience. Nothing says good television like Oprah asking a dad about what happened when his daughter called to tell him she had been personally violated. (Geez. Did you really have to bring out the dad?)

She didn't talk about the investigation, but she believes it was probably a stalker. She's nervous about being alone in hotel rooms (of course), but going back to work was the best thing she could do. Oprah reminded everyone that it could happen to them and that was that. Erin wasn't even as hard on the media (and the blogs) as she probably could have been—although she's obviously not thrilled with any of us right now. But that's why we invented Oprah, isn't it?

Erin Andrews' Online Video [Oprah.com]

Trust me, I hate covering this as much as you. But when the kickoff to college football season is being clearly overshadowed in terms of interest, I don't have much of a choice. So let's break things down.

In summary: nothing happened. Erin Andrews and the ESPN crew were consummate professionals, of course. She wore a tasteful little number, and no references were made by anybody (including, as far as we were shown, the fans) to anything but football. It might be just my imagination, but she chimed in a little less than usual, and a number of those were V/O's only. But then, I've never watched a game just for the sideline reporter appearances before.

Though it was an uneventful night, that doesn't mean the Internet ran out of opinions. To get a good sense of public impressions, I turned, as I often do, to Twitter.

The Twitterati were in rare form tonight...no, wait, they were in very common form. A few trenchant gems overwhelmed by the flood of terrible jokes that are currently sitting, unapproved in the DUAN! post's comments. But this is the pulse of America tonight.

I kind of like that last one. "Who the heck cares so much about this crap?" Amen to that, anonymous Twitterer. Now let's all move on.

Ever since "the unpleasantness" of this summer, everyone has been wondering what will happen when Erin Andrews goes back to work. How will fans react? Her co-workers? The drooling bloggers? Is everything going to be different from now on, like when you graduated from that sappy high school TV drama?

My guess is that she probably won't be posing for a lot of waist-cinching candids with any bozo who comes out of the stands. N.C. State says they're always on alert for drunken idiots and ESPN is bringing their own security, so don't expect any Rey Malaluga-type nonsense. There probably won't be any eating of wacky local foods or improv comedy bits with local celebrities. At least not for awhile.

What if it's a typically uneventful ESPN football broadcast? Even the dullest of EA moments have been memorialized in screenshots and YouTube clips that fill up inboxes everywhere. Will that happen tonight? Is that still okay if it does? If some coach leers at her in an interview or a few fans over her shoulder get a bit too close, people will talk about it and we'll have a good laugh and then everything will be "normal" again. It might take a few weeks to get there, but the world hasn't changed that much.

After all, there are still some yobs out there who think wearing a mini-skirt to a photo shoot negates your right to be horrified about someone drilling a hole in your wall to spy on you. And we still have the Oprah interview to get through. She still has to go to work, however, and—like everyone else at ESPN, and here in our little corner of the internet—that work is part information and part entertainment. And let's be honest ... guys get a lot of entertainment out of a cute blonde talking to them about sports.

So tonight is like that sappy high school drama's class reunion. (Or your real class reunion.) It might be a little awkward at first, but before you know it, it will be just like old times.

ESPN's Andrews returns [News & Observer]
Erin Andrews Returns to the Sidelines [ABC]
Zennie Abraham : Confused Erin Andrews returns to ESPN College Football [SF Gate]

* * * * *

Do you need another reason to watch South Carolina-N.C. State game? What if you could so while reading the soothing prose of Mr. Barry Petchesky? Now you're talking....

Andrews said the whole experience was a "nightmare" and she "opened up the computer (and) could feel my heart pounding." She also said that the peephole coverage escalated on, you know, dastardly websites devoid of human emotion, she" just felt like I was continuing to be victimized. I did nothing wrong,"

Heavens to Betsy. But she's back on the sidelines this Thursday night for NC State South Carolina and will be closely monitored by ESPN bodyguards. So don't you hillbillies try any funny reach-around grip poses with her or you might get tazed.

And look — ESPN has finally addressed "her story".

Erin Andrews To Oprah — Nude Video Was A Nightmare [AP]

OPRAH'S CHICAGO KICK-OFF PARTY AND EXCLUSIVE SUMMER NEWSMAKERS START TWO-DAY SNEAK PREVIEW OF THE ALL-NEW SEASON OF "THE OPRAH WINFREY SHOW"

—A special performance by three time Grammy Award-winning group
The Black Eyed Peas to be taped in streets of Chicago—

—Correspondent Lisa Ling returns for the "Oprah" show for the first time
since her reunion with her sister Laura-

—Exclusive Interviews with ESPN's Erin Andrews
and "Father Oprah" Alberto Cutie—

CHICAGO, IL – "The Oprah Winfrey Show" is giving viewers a sneak peak at its all-new season, including the Sept. 14 season premiere exclusive interview with Whitney Houston, in a two-day television event.

First, on Thursday, Sept. 10, Oprah hosts a Season 24 kickoff party in the streets of Chicago, as a crowd of thousands joins her for a fun-filled, star-studded celebration, including a special appearance by three time Grammy Award-winning group The Black Eyed Peas. More information is available at www.oprah.com/party.

Then, on Friday, Sept. 11, the "Oprah" show features exclusive interviews with the newsmakers who had people talking all summer long. Correspondent Lisa Ling returns to the "Oprah" show stage for the first time since she and her sister Laura were reunited, after Laura was set free following a 140-day detention in North Korea. ESPN's Erin Andrews speaks out for what she calls "the first and last time" about the peephole video filmed without her knowledge and circulated on the Internet. Finally, Father Alberto Cutie, often called "Father Oprah," opens up to Oprah about falling in love, falling out of favor with the Catholic Church, and his new life with his wife and stepson.