I know, I know, but America's lust for Tim Tebow (and Erin Andrews) cannot be sated judging by the number of people who have sent this link to us. Put them side by side (and touching!) and it's like matter and anti-matter colliding. We're all lucky to still be alive.

ESPN was in town on Thursday for the filming of a TitleTown segment since Gainesville is one of 20 finalists for the award. Whatever. The interview will air Monday. There were lots of awesome Gator fans.

According to the Gainesville Sun, "That included 23-year-old Orlando resident Tom Schoendorf, who came dressed in a gold Heisman Trophy outfit sporting Tebow’s No. 15.

'The Heisman is right here,' Schoendorf said."

Luckily we already know exactly what the conversation between the two was at the moment this photo was taken.

Tebow: "And then President Hu Jintau said to me, 'A rump pass? A rump pass!!!'"

EA: "Stop Timmy, just stop. Until later."

A TitleTown advocate [Gainesville Sun]

Venerable Florida State lady of bosom, Jenn Sterger, felt a little sideswiped by her not-so-controversial interview on THE KILLER B's" ESPN 1470 (Tampa) Radio show program two days ago, after she was quoted saying, in so many words, that she wasn't a big fan of ESPN sideline princess Erin Andrews.

Actually, this is what she said: "She's very talented. But it's so funny because if you look at her old tapes back when she worked at the Lightning, it was the most dreadful stuff you've ever seen in your life. People compare me and say, well, she's no Erin Andrews ... and I'm like, well, who's No. 1 on the computer. Suck it."

But after she's had time to cool off, Sterger is out to make amends. The scrappy guys at OnTheDL podcast got the exclusive interview with Sterger post-Andrews flap, as Jenn attempts to clarify her statements a little more so that there aren't any escalating tensions between the two ladies in the future.

"I have a lot of respect for Erin Andrews. But it’s so frustrating because people will continually compare us because she is the most notable sportscaster that initially found celebrity because of her looks, ” she said.

“You do not want Erin Andrews to ‘suck it, to suck anything…you like Erin Andrews, " OnTheDL asked.

"What is there to suck? Seriously. I’m a girl.”

Sterger says there's some sort of misinterpretation of her statement and that this is just all being blown out in double-D-like proportions.

“Everyone is trying to screw everyone else. They’re going to try to take things out of context. People like controversy. They thrive on it. The way I explain it – would you rather watch a couple in a grocery store fight or make out? You wanna watch them fight, let’s be real."

Right. So, crisis averted? Kind of?

Jenn Sterger [OnTheDL]

She's very talented. But it's so funny because if you look at her old tapes back when she worked at the Lightning, it was the most dreadful stuff you've ever seen in your life. People compare me and say, well, she's no Erin Andrews ... and I'm like, well, who's No. 1 on the computer. Suck it."

Yeah. Suck it! No homo! (Did I do that correctly?)

Jenn Sterger Tells Erin Andrews To 'Suck It' [AOL Fanhouse]

Jenn Sterger is not impressed with Erin Andrews [The Big Lead]

Possibly one of the hardest things for any ESPN announcer working right now is being on the same broadcast team with sideline princess Erin Andrews. It's impossible to just cut over to Andrews, without getting tongue-tied and flush, as this is when it's time to impress her with professionalism — "No, no, no I don't think you're pretty, Erin? You're just a colleague and you are my peer!"— and not use the A-game, hot chick charm.

Rick Sutcliffe, in the booth last night for the Braves/Cubs game on ESPN, apparently didn't get the memo, and he just couldn't ease up on the good ol' boy flirtin'.

It's relatively harmless and probably something that Andrews herself isn't completely used to at this point (plus, you know, Sutcliffe is recovering from colon cancer right now), so she's a tough girl and probably not offended. Yet, blogger USS Mariner took offense to the whole thing, and decided it was time to act chivalrous for once, without the requisite half-erection.

I don’t care what your opinion of her is: Erin takes an enormous amount of entirely unjustified personal crap. She’s been treated badly by players, awkwardly clutched by coaches. If you put her name into a search engine you need to get decontaminated within minutes of just looking at the results or your eyes will melt. Erin is objectified and degraded in a way that no male sports media figure has ever had to face, and Rick Sutcliffe, working with her, should know that and, if he can’t support her, at least shut up.

It is amazing and embarrassing that no one on the broadcast crew stopped Sutcliffe. No one cut his mike, nothing, and his partner didn’t stop him but instead ended up playing along. The broadcast team and the network let someone use game time to slobber all over another broadcaster for absolutely no reason.

That’s it, that’s all I have. Fuck you, Rick Sutcliffe. Fuck you, other guy in the booth. You’re embarrassments to my gender.

See what she brings out in people? He's willing to fight a man with cancer to defend her honor.

Rick Sutcliffe Is Concerned For Erin Andrews' Skirt In Chicago [Big League Stew]
Rick Sutcliffe Is A Horrible Person And ESPN's No Better [USS Mariner]

Any sports personality who's established a serious level of online notoriety now has a must-stop to truly establish themselves as an internet mega-star: Mottram and Steinberg's "Blog Show." The Comcast D.C. mini-sodes have risen from the depths of cable access-style shlockyness to fascinating and entertaining meta-coverage of the sports blog universe. The show's power and influence reached a new level of legitimacy with its most recent guest: ESPN sideline princess, Erin Andrews.

Congratulations, boys. Your efforts have not gone unnoticed.

Dit,dit,dit-dit-dit-dit-, dit-dit-dit, dit...Blog Show.

Blog Show No. 51: Erin Andrews [Mr. Irrelevant]

Tomorrow the Scripps National Spelling Bee will give another group of spindly kids with Akeelah-like aspirations an opportunity to make use of their freakish memorization skills. This year, the kids are more aware of the ramifications and long-term career potential that comes with the national stage. Spell the words right, become a shooting star; fail and go back to the life of being an extraordinarily bright child with lots of tuba-playing friends. (Or, if they’re a home-schooled, back to being a socially-stunted shut-in whose only friends are the mailman and a rotting salamander carcass in a mason jar.)

Many of these kids are so absorbed and determined at developing their abnormally high IQs, they usually fall short on having a TV-ready appearance. But the more popular this event becomes, it’ll be even more crucial for producers to make sure their featured participants aren’t wearing their khakis on backwards or their glasses don’t cause potentially deadly refractions of the stage lighting. It’s the harsh reality of network ratings economics: If the final round is going to continue to garner a primetime slot, The Bee needs to get prettier in order to ensure long-term success.

And this year, spellers have added motivation to look less mousey, now that ESPN’s all-purpose reporting princess, Erin Andrews, is sidelining the Bee. Unlike the drooling moron nation that worships her from the safe confines of the internet, these poor girl-spooked geniuses will be forced to process Ms. Andrews’ striking beauty in person. One hair-flip and they’ll quickly learn that, no, she’s nothing like the girls in Latin club.

For male participants, this creates an even more daunting pressure-cooker atmosphere, as flubbing “quatorzain” in the first round will not only result in condescending snickers from their peers, but will also eliminate any chance of them professing their undying love to the tall, coconut-scented woman with the pretty teeth.

Among this year’s batch of 288 nerdsworths, there are a few who have the potential to make both their etymological and wet dreams come true.

So, today, I’m ignoring my throbbing odontalgia, taking antibiotics for my staphylococci and trying to avoid a vivisepulture as I place odds on some of the lads who have the best chance at vouchsafing the crap out of Erin Andrews this week.

Let’s go elucubrate after this jump. (Painting by the great Jim Cooke, of course.)

Pierce Dageforde: 2/1 His name sounds like it could be a pungent cheese from the Netherlands, but Pierce is representing both Omaha and Midwestern Iowa after mopping the floor with the contestants at the Midwest Spelling bee — and he plans on debunking any and all myths about spellers from corn country. He's coming to this event equipped with both a steel-trap mind and the charm and sophistication of a man twice his age. You can find him wearing his trademark turtleneck at many high society social events throughout the Midwest, smoking a pipe and wooing divorcees with his biting wit and collection of elegiac love poems. Dageforde says his ideal date with Andrews would be a trip to his grandfather's log cabin, nestled away in the woods of Eldora, where they'd spend a weekend taking in the majestic flora, making their own chocolate, and dancing the tarantella in their sweat socks across the creeky floors.

Scott Remer: 3/1 Ohio's Scotty "Reme Job" Remer realizes he might not make it out of the semifinals, but he's supremely confident he can get far enough to make a run at Erin Andrews. Remer's eschewed studying from his voluminous word list this week in favor of getting a manicure and experimenting with new pomeades. "Reme Job" said he's also purchased a new pair of snug chinos that better accentuate his overdeveloped quad muscles since he'd heard that Andrews "gets gooey" over a man with hulking soccer legs. His prediction for his chances this week: "If I get five minutes alone with her, she'll definitely get Remed."

Tony Incorvati: 5/1
Another Ohio boy, 10-year-old Incorvati slashed through the field at the Regional Grand Spelling Bee to earn a slot in D.C. Even though he's one of the youngest contestants this year, Incorvati carries a hefty amount of Italian swagger that overcompensates for some of his inexperience. "These fuckin' merigans ain't gonna know what hit 'em, " Incorvati told reporters during introduction ceremonies yesterday, opening and closing a Zippo lighter throughout. As for Andrews? Incorvati says she's a little too "twig-legged" for his tastes, but that's not going to prevent him from "givin' her a nice hard boning" if he makes the finals. "I'll chase her down in the parking lot if I have to," he said, while furiously making stroking gestures on a large pepperoni stick. "She's gonna get piece of this, if you know what I mean." We do, Tony. We do.

Xavier Barnes: EVEN

This skinny 13-year-old from Fayetteville, N.C. is new to the area, but he established himself early in the first marking period as a young man with a voracious appetite for big words — and the student teachers at Pine Forest Middle School. Since moving to Cumberland County last year from Kansas, Barnes has allegedly bedded some of the most unavailable women in the state. One of his male English teachers marvels at the budding lothario's technique. "It's, like, all he has to do is just stare up at them with those big brown eyes of his and the chicks will just melt." Barnes says a lot of his successes in both spelling and women comes from his abnormally large fingers, with which he can quickly sift through pages of unwieldy dictionaries quickly and digitally manipulate females to orgasm with just a wiggle. "I think if Miss Andrews gets one glance at these, her curiosity will get the best of her, " he says, moving his fingers in front of his face like Freddy Krueger. He's even given himself a nickname: "Bean Flickimus Maximus." Watch out, Erin.

Recently, a group of PGA Tour golfers met privately with Tour commissioner Tim Finchem to ask that Golf Channel anchor and lynching-metaphor employer Kelly Tilghman be fired. When I first heard this news, I thought to myself, "Hey, she must be Jewish." Because, as we all know, the PGA Tour cannot abide any sort of Jew near the course, let alone on it.

But Tilghman, it turns out, is 100 percent pure shiksa goddess. And the Tour players demanding her ouster cited no specific incident to justify their cause, not even the lynching thing. According to the link provided:

They seem to think that she does not have the gravitas or broadcasting expertise to elevate a telecast in the way that Jim Nantz, for example, does on CBS.

Now, it's just like PGA Tour players to bitch about any little thing that displeases them. Tiger Woods is renowned for having chirping birds incinerated on sight. Colin Montgomerie gets angry if anyone is grilling within a 20-mile radius, because the temptation fucks with his swing. And Bernhard Langer can detect even the quietest flatulence. These people are tightasses about every goddamn thing. No wonder they love Jim Nantz.

I've never heard Tilghman broadcast a Tour event. I'm pretty sure I didn't even program the Golf Channel into my Favorites list. But you don't need the wisdom of Harvey "12-Inch" Penick to assume that there's juuuuust a touch of sexism at play here.

Here in DC, one of the main sports talk radio shows is “The Sports Reporters,” hosted by Steve Czaban. Czaban, who gets very huffy when agitated, plainly stated in response to the Tilghman incident that he was tired of networks hiring women broadcasters as an unofficial kind of affirmative action. He even went so far as to decry it as "forced integration," a statement I'm sure would delight any number of black Mississippi college students from the 1960's.

Czaban is unapologetic about his "sports sexism," as it were. He doesn't like girls interfering with his sports, and he doesn't feel compelled to apologize for it. I'm a bit torn on his stance. On the one hand, I also don't like women interfering with my sports events.

On the other hand, Czaban is a dick. Which means that I’m probably one as well.

I watched Game 6 of Celtics-Cavs the other night. That was the game that Doris Burke worked on as a color commentator. And the second I turned it on, I thought to myself, "Really? They used a husky lesbian for this broadcast? That's annoying." Even worse, when I'm watching college football in the fall, and there's a game on ESPN and one on ESPN2, I'll purposely watch the game that Pam Ward isn't announcing. Like Simmons and the rest, I’m somehow offended by WNBA promos. I mute every Suzy Kolber and Michele Tafoya sideline report, but I will happily keep the volume up even when Tony Kornheiser is talking about some player being on his fantasy team.

This makes no fucking sense. There's nothing to justify this kind of mentality. Pam Ward knows her shit. Suzy Kolber knows her shit. Doris Burke knows her shit. So why am I so subconsciously hostile to their very presence on a sports broadcast? I don't like being a sports sexist. I'm not proud of it. Yet there’s also a little voice in my head telling me I’m a goddamn pussy for feeling bad about it. Why am I like this? And is there anything I can do about it that requires a bare minimum of effort? First, let's examine the root causes:

Sports As Shelter: This is the most common defense for sports sexism. "Sports is our chance to get away from girls for a bit! WHY DO YOU BROADS HAVE TO BARGE IN ON EVERYTHING?!" I myself am traumatized from having to watch the end of the 1998 NFC Championship game with my truly insane ex-girlfriend, who had come back to the house early despite my explicit instructions not to do so. Then she kept saying shit like, "I think your team is gonna lose, honey. Can we watch a movie?" She said this WHEN THE FUCKING GAME WAS TIED. If there were any justice in the world, she and OJ Santiago would fall down a well together.

But overall, this is a pretty lame excuse. It's hard to exclude half the population from participating in sports broadcasting just because you need a little break from the honeys. Plus, no one ever bitches when a fine piece of ass like Erin Andrews graces the screen with her presence. There’s also the fact that I’ve watched plenty of other sporting events with women on hand (this year’s Super Bowl comes to mind) and found their company to be most delightful. So that explanation doesn’t wash.

It’s The Woman’s Fault! I hate Jillian Barberie. She annoys the living fuck out of me. But I’m dead certain this is not a result of sexism, but rather the fact that yes, Jillian Barberie is very, very annoying. So there is a legitimate gripe against some female broadcasters, just as there is a legitimate gripe against any number of male broadcasters. But I think that, if a female and male are equally annoying, the female will get more criticism for general suckitude. Look at Violet Palmer. Most basketball people agree she blows as a referee. But the NBA is LOADED with shitty officials. Why does she get the brunt of criticism? I’ll tell you why: no peepee.

I’m A Victim Of A Sexist Society! You see, I’m not sexist. It’s just the CULTURE surrounding me that’s sexist. I can’t help but be a product of my environment, which features any number of totally awesome Bugle Boy ads (greatest ad ever), and filthy gangsta rap songs like “Ain’t No Fun (If The Homies Can’t Have None)” (“Guess who’s back in the motherfucking house, with a fat dick for your motherfucking mouth.” God, that’s poetry), readily available bondage porn videos, and so on. Don’t you see? They poisoned my innocent little mind! I’m the real victim!

Again, lame excuse.

Homophobia: My sports sexism is not universal. I like Pam Oliver, like the rest of the badonkadunk-inclined. Hannah Storm is okay by me. And I usually prefer the female SportsCenter and ESPNEWS anchors over most of the male anchors, largely because they aren't trying so fucking hard to be funny. Remember Nancy Newman and Inga Hammond over on the old CNN Sports Tonight? They were good. And Nancy had that thing where she always wore choker necklaces and low-cut shirts, and I really can't say no to that. Could it be that this isn't a case of sexism, but strictly a bias against the, shall we say, river-blocking female population? Oh, fuck. Mary Carillo's gonna introduce my sphincter to a tennis racquet handle in short order. I hope she didn't use Tourna-Grip.

General Misogyny: Years of masturbating to Whitesnake videos will give you an awfully nasty habit of objectifying women. So yep, that's probably it.

Here's my theory: I think that I'm at the tail end of an older generation that grew up uncomfortable with female sports broadcasters and stayed that way. But kids 20 years younger than me are growing up now in a sports world where female sports broadcasters like Pam Ward are far more prominent, and it's more than likely they won't have the same deeply ingrained prejudice against them that I have.

This goes across more than broadcasting. Take women's tennis. I like watching it, and I don't think it's a joke the way I think the WNBA is. But could that be because Billie Jean King whipped up on Bobby Riggs' geriatric ass well before my formative years, making the sport more legit in the eyes of the male sports establishment? Could be. Steffi Graf's ass was also probably a big help. You could crash a Toyota into that thing. I grew up used to women's tennis being a prominent sport. It's not all new and scary to my tiny, sperm-addled brain.

And that, I imagine, is the whole point of this exercise. Czaban called it forced intergration. Well, the reason it's forced is so that people can get the fuck used to it. And if old dinosaurs like The PGA Tour, Czaban, and myself don't like it, then they can all go get fucked.

Andrews says she looked right in the camera when the producer asked her why she should be hired and said "I'm the best you're going to find." According to what the producer told her, he was convinced by "how serious" she was when she said this. Interestingly enough, the clip begins with an introductory graphic letting the viewers know Ms. Andrews was voted the "Sexiest Sportscaster Alive" by Playboy. That's taking her seriously.

Lucky for everyone, she didn't let these little bumps in the road hold her down.

Erin Andrews Knows We Love Her [The Sports Point] (via The Big Lead)

The loss snapped New York's three-game winning streak. Chamberlain struck out two and retired the side in order in the eighth, but Carlos Quentin's one-out double and Crede's line single to center in the ninth did him in. "I only threw one curveball and that's the one that got hit," said Chamberlain, not mentioning his fateful interview with Andrews. "The disappointing part is that I let my team down." The Yankees have been saying for quite some time that the hype surrounding Chamberlain — who has pitched all of 33 1/3 innings in the big leagues — is getting out of control. And now he apparently says something inappropriate to Andrews, and knocks his career off the tracks. Yes, Joba Chamberlain flew too close to the sun, and now must fall back to Earth to fend for himself like other mortals. Pray for him.

• Rags To Riches Story. The tattered David Ortiz jinx jersey — the one that Yankees officials had dug up from beneath their new stadium earlier this month — sold at an eBay auction for $175,100 on Thursday. The Red Sox then went out and lost to the Angels, 7-5, powered by Gary Matthews Jr.'s two-run single in the seventh.

• Frank Is Back. Oakland's cleanup hitter looks familiar ... hey, it's Frank Thomas. The Big Hurt is back, having agreed to terms with the A's after being released Sunday by the Toronto Blue Jays. He went 0-for-3 with two walks, the A's scoring six runs in the first in an 11-2 win over the Twins. Donnie Murphy had solo homers in the fifth and sixth innings.

• Things Looking Up In Washington. Felipe Lopez tied a career high with six RBI thanks to a homer and a two-run single, leading the Nationals past the Mets 10-5. Meanwhile, Elijah Dukes finished his probation by mopping out zoo cages, and should be back soon for Washington.

• Giants Not In Last. Tim Lincecum (4-0, 1.23 ERA) extended his scoreless streak to 16 1/3 innings beating the Padres 1-0. Rich Aurilia homered for the only run. San Diego is 7 1/2 games behind the front-running Diamondbacks in the West.

• Today's Quiz. OK, are the Tigers officially back, or are the Rangers just that bad?

(UPDATE: Andrews says she was talking to her producer, and that Joba's fine.)

But, what if you're not an athlete? What if you shop at Kiehl's and carry around a murse full of man-ehancing products. Don't worry — you haven't completely ruined your chances.

I'm not advocating zero maintenance. A guy's face does benefit from daily upkeep, even though a flawless complexion isn't essential to me at all. I have no problem with a guy who uses products — I'm for whatever regime works, from cleanser to moisturizer, even eye cream or toner. And I don't see it often but I love when players lather up the SPF. There's nothing sexier than a man protecting himself from skin cancer.

So, you should wear a Tom Brady jersey, a big hat, sunglasses and cover yourself in SPF the next time you stalk Ms. Andrews at a sporting event. This guy will never be able to date her, obviously. He shouldn't have used the Crisco.

Routine Maintenance: Erin Andrews [Men's Health]

It's buried in the press release, but not in our hearts: The lovely Erin Andrews will also be on hand for the prestigious event. Hey, why should Little Leaguers have all the fun?

ESPN's live telecast (simulcast on ESPN360.com) is scheduled for 11:00 a.m.-2:00 p.m., ET. ESPN360.com will provide coverage of the quarterfinal rounds from 2:00-5:30 p.m., ET on Thursday, May 29 on ESPN 360.com. ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews will be a correspondent for both the ABC and ESPN broadcasts.

Where exactly the "sidelines" are marked at a spelling bee is unclear, but they'll figure it out. Here's what I imagine the first interview will be like:

ANDREWS: "Kevin, you were knocked out on the word 'ubiquitous,' which you spelled 'b-r-e-a-s-t-s.' What happened?"
KEVIN: (Blushes) "Well, I ..." (faints).

That would be only slightly more embarrassing than this.

Tom Bergeron Hosts The 2008 Scripps National Spelling Bee [The Futon Critic]

The online idolatry of her — not seen since Anna Kournikova's cyberspace heyday — runs along the lines of Wayne and Garth, from Wayne's World, saying if she "were a president, she'd be Babe-braham Lincoln."

Yes. Nailed it.

What's even more notable is Andrews own admission that Kirk Herbstreit has a "Timberlake-like" following with college kids. She even says that while she was a spritely co-ed and wannabe sports reporter at the University of Florida, she got a little overwhelmed in the presence of Herbstreit's seductive aura: "My camera didn't work the first time I got a photo with Kirk Herbstreit and, oh my gosh, I'm freaking out..."

All should heretofore bow to the panty-dropping power of Kirk Herbstreit. He's a golden god in a gray-tinted world full of Fowlers and Corsos.

YouTube Clips Can't Tell The Story Of Erin Andrews [USA Today]

Whatever she's yelled to Tebow, it clearly worked. He is transfixed and eager to answer her inquiries.

Here's another photo from Busted Coverage that clearly shows that Andrews has Tebow standing at rapt attention. She is a captivating interviewer.

Erin Andrews Makes Tim Tebow Blush, Touch Pecs [Busted Coverage]

• Bryan Biederman hopes to hoist a few ladies. [Screwballs]
  
• Determining the hotness of Hideki Matsui's sketchy wife [UmpBump]
  
• Furman Bisher isn't letting the Japanese off the hook that easy. No smirre. [EDSBS]
  
• Can you hate your child enough to raise them as a Royals fan? [Bugs and Cranks]
  
• Woody Paige plays dumb with blogs. Yes...plays. [The Big Lead]
  
• Your tourney of TV villainy. [Pyle of List]
  
• Why is the NFL claiming copyright protection of old AFL clips? [ArenaFan]
  

But here's a quote she said, to flesh out this post about Erin Andrews, talking about the comic strip "Zits," I think:

DI: I'm sure you've been asked this question a lot, but you were named Playboy's "sexiest sportscaster." What does that mean to you?

EA: That they have no idea I have zits and that I run on five hours of sleep. It was very flattering. It was very nice for the people to vote, but I'm the biggest tomboy out there and don't look anything like "The Girls Next Door," like the girls that live with Hugh Hefner. So it was very nice, but come on.

DI: Does that bother you at all? Does it diminish your job at all?

EA: No, I mean I know how hard I work. I think people that pay attention know how hard I work. At this point, I got to stop worrying about proving myself to people. It's all about continuing to get better for myself.

In conclusion, Erin Andrews. (reclines in swively chair, sips iced tea, collects Gawker Media pageview bonus)

Erin Andrews Has Zits! [Busted Coverage]
Erin Andrews On Illinois, Reporting [Daily Illini]

Continuing to take cues from the blog world, the Chicago Tribune is the latest mainstream publication to grant a profile to the ever frothed over Erin Andrews. What cell phone number juicy tidbits would she reveal? Can you make it to the end of an article with no pictures? I'll try to cull the highlights for you.

My dad is Steve Andrews, an investigative TV reporter in Tampa. He's incredible, the reason I'm in sports. He has two daughters and no sons. Even the golden retrievers were girls. He's a huge sports fan from New England but was never into the Patriots because they weren't very good. (Ed. note: Sound familiar?)

Hmmm. A sister? /Darth Vader voice

Well, what girl doesn't want to think she's sexy? But I am so opposite of Playboy's Sexiest Broadcaster, it's hilarious. Right now my travel gear is a pair of jeans, sneakers, a vest and a long-sleeve shirt. As much as people think you get glammed up for television, I'm a huge tomboy.

Oh, yeah. Great point, Erin. Low maintenance girls give me a huge softie, right?

The coolest thing that happens is when I get a text message from Lesley Visser or Linda Cohn or Shelley Smith. Shelley texted me to say: "You're doing a great job with this Indiana (Kelvin Sampson) stuff.'' These are women who have been in the business a lot longer than me and have dealt with a lot of stuff and they're giving me support. They're giving me credit not just for being Playboy's Sexiest Broadcaster. That means more than they will ever know.

Everyone makes a big deal that Bruce Pearl is texting Erin, but I'm sure Linda Cohn is just as into her.

...

...

Wait a second! She also enjoys college football. That sign is terribly misleading.

Kansas Students Are Very Creative [The Foul Pole]

That flash went off prematurely, by the way.

Milwaukee Sideline Grunts Love Erin Andrews [The Big Lead]

The problem, we'd think, is that you're often the only woman the gaggle of professional sports people actually see, which means, no matter what, you're going to be rumored to be dating some athlete or coach. Get a bunch of sports media guys together, and without fail, the conversation will inevitably turn to sideline reporters, their attractiveness level, who they're sleeping with so on. This happens every time. It must be hard to, you know, actually do your job sometimes. Particularly when you're as attractive and seemingly well-grounded as Erin Andrews.

So, you know, the obligatory vote. Do you like the Erin Andrews? Do you not like the Erin Andrews? Let us know.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

Apparently having the No. 1 team in the nation comes with all kinds of perks. I shudder to think what will happen if Tennessee wins a national championship. Pearl has come a long way since he merely groped women while wearing the BC Eagle costume.

Bruce Pearl Feels Up Erin Andrews [YouTube]

We will admit that in the interview, Andrews does come across as pretty down-to-earth, and it doesn't appear as if she has let all the geek-love go to her head. "I'm sure the next hot blonde is going to walk in the door and take my job and I'm going to be too old."

• A Michigan State student asked Andrews to leave the outgoing message on his cell phone
• David Wright is a "good friend"
• "I'm absolutely dating ... but I'm not exclusively dating"
• "I heard I was dating Tony Romo too, good for me!"

Berman is revving his engines as I type this!

Erin Andrews: Possibly Down-To-Earth? [The Big Lead]

Courtesy of the firestarting Florio at Pro Football Talk:

A media source tells us that ESPN are relieving Michelle Tafoya and Suzy Kolber of their duties on Monday Night Football.

Both served as sideline reporters. Tafoya worked in the same role with ABC when the ESPN sister company last aired MNF. Kolber likewise reported from the field with ESPN's former Sunday night package. When the Monday night broadcast moved to ESPN for a whopping $1.1 billion per year, Kolber and Tafoya were both assigned to the show.

Their performance has been the subject of some criticism, especially in this space. The reports at times were heavy on pre-planned content, and light on in-game information. Also, it's never been clear why two of them are needed.

It remains to be seen whether this is a first step in an effort to reduce costs by shrinking the cast of characters who cover the Monday night game for ESPN. Several analysts are stationed in Bristol, a trio of talking heads have a desk inside the venue where the game is played, and multiple reporters typically swarm the stadium in the three or four hours before kickoff. ..

I hope they bring Lesley Visser and her furry hats back. Or Eric Dickerson and his ebonicized reports.

Speaking of Visser, did anybody know she had her own self-aggrandizing website?

Tafoya, Kolber Out At MNF [PFT]

* = Has not dated better.

Ladies who someday wish to grace the sidelines of a major sporting event, take heed: Your knowledge is primary, of course, but you'll also have to be somewhat attractive. This is not breaking news, mind you, but each year it seems more and more women are realizing that just because they know how to read box scores or can talk intelligently about a game, they're still required to be completely boneable to the drooling masses.

Take Playboy's America's Sexiest Sportscaster award. Granted, it might be an honor that many female sportscasters don't necessarily aspire towards, but consider this: Playboy has no repeat nominees. So, each year, Hefner and company has to find a new batch of lady jock-yappers to be scrutinized by discerningPlayboy readers.

One person who's obviously gotten the memo? Linda Cohn. In the last month, she's started blowing out her hair and finally seeing results from her Pilates classes. She's gone from looking like an elementary school special needs teacher to a substantially hotter elementary school special needs teacher. So, if you spot Cohn exiting the Bristol offices and a pack of screaming, limping kids wearing biking helmets are following her, don't' be alarmed: She's not being chased by zombies; she's just wearing Spanx.

I am probably one of the last men on earth under the age of 50 who still has a Playboy subscription, so that's the only reason I'm aware of this contest. I still read the joke page even though I heard most of them when I was seven, and still look forward to each month's pseudo-celebrity photo spread. Take this month, where the holy haunches of Kim Kardashian are triumphantly unveiled. For the first time in a while, this is actually a photo spread that's worth the $8 newsstand charge. Those of you out there who are hiney-obsessed, you'll be overjoyed.

But until Ms. Kardashian's bulbous bottom starts interviewing athletes and coaches, she's not up for the award.

So this week, I'm cashing in my Sephora gift certificate, dusting off my inner-outer thigh machine and placing odds on some of the nominees for Playboy's Sexiest Sportscaster of 2008.

Let's deform my face, then shake my skull cap. MORE.

Jeanne Zelasko: 3/1

She's probably the favorite, if Playboy's Viagra-chugging demographic were to actually take the time to finally figure out how to turn on their little-used computer. Zelasko's got that whole Kathy Lee Crosby thing rockin', and plenty of older, white World Series viewers probably took one look at here and thought, "Now, there's a lady whose stockings probably smell good." Plus, she doesn't seem terrified of Kevin Kennedy, who resembles most of Playboy readers.

Rachel Nichols: 2/1

Here's a tough one. Most guys under the age of 35 see Nichols pop up on ESPN and their like "Hey, that looks just like the girl from back home who gave me a handjob in the broom closet at that Bar Mitzvah I went to when I was 13," and get turned off. But then, the more you see her on screen, you start thinking back on that glorious day a little more and, before you know it, you're standing in your kitchen over the trashcan with a handful of Palmolive peeking around the corner so you can watch Nichols interview Reggie Bush. She's got fans. Nobody will admit it, but they're out there.

Colleen Dominguez: 4/1

She's the perfect woman for those early 40-ish dudes who actually pay for tanning salon memberships and express their abundance of self-confidence with an extra dollop of hair product. So, she's probably the favorite of the Steve Lavin-look-a-like set. Thing is, she is legitimately beautiful, but seems unapproachable because you know she's only interested in getting hit on by greasy assholes who wear obnoxiously large wrist watches.

Erin Andrews: 1/3

She's clearly the favorite, who's become the erection-inducing siren to the Shanoffian hordes of internet sports stalkers. Only problem is, many may feel slighted by her indifference towards her message board love letters and could express their hurt feelings by voting elsewhere. If Andrews were smart, she'd stop chasing around Pat White for mindless post-game sound bytes and just pose in a goddamned bikini already. Don't fight it, Erin. It's time to show the world that God was a studious craftsman with your body.

She sounds like a pretty normal, regular human being ... except for one thing.

OMDQ: So do you Google yourself now? Because I know Bill Simmons told you that you probably shouldn't.

EA: I have seen a couple of things. The one thing is, I check out certain web sites just because I think it's good reading. I love the Extra Mustard web site on CNN SI. I think Deadspin's just hysterical. You know, I've seen some stuff, but over the past year, it's gotten worse with me. Every little thing I do, whether it's eating a sandwich to you know, anything, it's just all over, or who I'm talking to on the sidelines so that must mean I'm dating them, who I'm having a drink with at the bar, so that must mean I'm dating him, it's turned into, it's turned into almost like a mockery, so I've stayed away from it. You know, I'll see some things sometimes if it's on web sites that I'm looking at, but I won't Google myself, no.

We remain sympathetic to the plight of female sports reporters, who, no matter what they do, are constantly linked with whatever athlete/coach they happen to interview at the time. (This doesn't seem to happen to Kit Seelye.) That said, there was something hypnotic about the picture of Andrews eating a sandwich. But don't take offense, Erin: We're just as mesmerized when we watch Jim Gray eat a taco.

Talking With Erin Andrews [One More Dying Quail]

Yes, Pat White has made a new friend.

Patrick White's not one to kiss and tell. The West Virginia quarterback received what appeared to be a hug and a peck on the cheek from ESPN sideline reporter Erin Andrews a few seconds after a postgame interview Saturday at Puskar Stadium.

"That's between me and her," White said, a little shocked that someone caught the interlude, before breaking into a sly smile. A few seconds later, he volunteered, "I almost fainted when she came up to me."

Wait, is this Andrews' interviewing technique? Don't knock it: Jim Gray does the same thing, and don't get us started on Craig Sager.

WVU's White Still Unstoppable [The Journal]

She tells the Atlanta Journal Constitution the five places she and her friends hang out.

4. Noche in the Highlands. Always a great spot to hang with your friends. We like to sit outside on the patio and order about 50 things off the tapas menu! Everything from the queso and chips, lobster taco, and quesadillas are awesome. Plus the portions are small, so you don't feel guilty for trying everything.

So, now you know where to find Brent Musburger.

Gimme Five: Erin Andrews' Hippest Hangouts [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

The folks at CSTV's Hoops Odyssey, the guys who brought us that much-debated Billy Packer video, have a gift for you Erin Andrews completists out there: An interview with the beloved ESPN courttsider, complete with a conversation about her days as a Gator Dazzler. She seems nice and smart enough, which is what we figured, but we're surprised she describes the fact that the famous Dazzler video is on YouTube as "gross." Wait, having it on YouTube is more gross than Dick Vitale's soggy, sunken chops drooling on it when he initially mentioned it? We doubt that.

Erin Andrews Interview [Hoops Odyssey]
Billy Packer, As Charming As You'd Think He'd Be [Deadspin]

Well ... except maybe for this. It's The Big Picture's Who Would You Do Tournament?, which, in the spirit of the new book "The Enlightened Bracketologist" — which tries to rank all human phenomena by using tournament brackets — puts the top 16 sideline reporters and gently caresses them into a full bracket.

To no one's surprise, Erin Andrews is the No. 1 seed, with Suzy Kolber at No. 2, Pam Oliver at No. 3 and Melissa Stark — our dark horse contender — at No. 4. The tournament will be going on for the next month, so if you're the type of person who has his/her head in the repulsive, loathsome gutter ... go on over and vote!

Who Would You Do Tournament? [The Big Picture]

"People judge you and say, 'She got her job because of her looks,' but they don't know I was up at 2 a.m. studying and reading as much as I can about the game ahead."

So now that we've established that, let's get to the interesting part: Andrews used to date an NHL player. One of her on-the-job peeves is married athletes who ask her out. C'mon Erin. Be a reporter and give your audience some information. We want names.

ESPN's Andrews Catches Lots of Eyes [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

But we still have sympathy for the Erin Andrews of the world, if just because no matter what they do, no matter where they are, no matter how much work they might put in ... to their male colleagues, they're pretty much still just a skirt.

Witness this report from last night's Little League World Series game broadcasted by Andrews and Eric Karros.

Erin Andrews was doing a bit piece about an injured player who was hurt playing ping pong. She throws it back to Brent Musberger and Eric Karros, and Musberger talks about Kirk Gibson and how memorable that was. Karros replies, "Yeah, I think all of these boys will have something to remember with Erin Andrews." Musburger responds, "yeah," and is followed by 15-20 seconds of silence. It seems Karros is trying a little to hard to replace a former Mariners legend.

That's, of course, entirely inappropriate for a live television broadcast. And yet we do kind of think those 12-year-olds are indeed going to remember Andrews forever.

Andrews said that the people were giving game updates to their friends and family back home, but as Jeff points out, they may also have had a passing interest in things like the safety of their loved ones, pets, homes, and things of that nature. Erin Andrews chose this moment to plug ESPN Mobile, saying that if the people back in Columbia had it, they could get updates on the game. The same thing is also noted here on Philly and Beyond.

The nerve of those people... not having ESPN Mobile. Scores and highlights are so easily accessible that it's selfish not to have it. Instead, they whine about tornadoes and impose upon their friends to pass along scoring updates. Just man up, people of Columbia, do the right thing, and buy an ESPN cell phone. Get your ass to a Best Buy, because I do not want to hear you bitching when the next tornado rips your house apart and you don't know the score of the Chiefs game.

Let Me Introduce You to Some Little Leaguers [Philly and Beyond]