• "Justin Upton's the man. 20 years old! The whole D-Backs lineup is good and young." — jesuiteducation

Previous ESPN Featured Comment of the Day, plus a Featured Deadspin Response or two ...

• "No team in the West should go into Round 1 feeling like they have a walkover." — Biskitball

• No team in the West should into a playoff game feeling like they have a hangover - melointhaclink — sassydeerrun

• No commenter should ever, ever base their name on a shitty pun involving the name of a sport and the name of a terrible dood-rock band feeling like they've actually done something clever. — futuremrsrickankiel

• No coach in the west should have to go into round 1 sporting a combover. —JeffVanGundy — Schluby

• "I'm kind of glad it's over. It was turning from a high into a stress every night." — br3w3d

(Celtics beat Rockets)

Previous ESPN Featured Comment of the Day, plus a Featured Deadspin Response or two ...

• "I think BYU will get past A&M and will give UCLA some trouble." — Jlo1st

• I think the Germans will get past Poland and give France some trouble. — Spectacular Sam

• I think BYU will peddle past A&M and give UCLA some annoying literature. — BillMumphry

• "This is just a small step in Roy's career when he will someday be MVP." — fatboyslim496

(Re: NBA All-Star selections)

Previous ESPN Featured Comment of the Day, plus a Featured Deadspin Response or two ...

• "I am a Twins fan, and I love a quiet winter, but this is baseball, not nature." — Huckel39

• I am a leather fan, and I love a witty nickame, but Jeesus! It's like no one's ever worked on TV here before!? JEESUS!! -cbermanluvslther — Mingusmonk

• I'm a Cowboys fan, and I like having work during football season, but I can't pronounce shit. -ESmith22 — Wilbon_08

• Nope, I tried reading it in iambic pentamter, and it's still fucked up like a soup sandwich. — Sex-Panther

• "As a Mavericks fan, I posted this score as my wallpaper. Priceless." — Rangerfan04

(Re: Seattle 88, San Antonio 85)

Previous ESPN Featured Comment of the Day, plus a Featured Deadspin Response or two ...

• "Why not trade Bedard and get players who would make the O's tough?" — BryanV21

• Why not trade Angelos, the mop and bucket the janitor has would make a better owner.
-AMcphail2008 — Tater

• Why not trade me and get commenters who would make the ESPN message boards better? -BryanV21 — She Blinded Me With Violence

• Has everyone seen where BryanV21 works? "The Village Gate Animal Hospital and Pet Resort." His job title? "Front Desk." — Carlton Whitfield

• "It seems set up this year for him to have chance at the real Grand Slam." — drdlh1

(Re: Tiger Woods)

Previous ESPN Featured Comment of the Day, plus a Featured Deadspin Response or two ...

• "This isn't typical WSU basketball. They were not sharp on defense the way they usually are." — PZickler

(Re: Washington State men's basketball)

• This isn't typical Barbaro, he isn't as upright and as fast as he used to be. — Sir Pantsalot

• THIS IS NOT A TYPICAL BLOG. YOU CAN ACTUALLY HEAR ME THROUGH THE SCREEN. — SASChzDdle — PopularCopy

• this isn't your typical dinosaur sprinting. they weren't fucking running as fast as they usually are — The Intrepid Spaceman Spiff

• "Memphis can run 10 no problem. Our second five would win some conferences." — daparish81

(Re: Memphis men's basketball)

Previous ESPN Featured Comment of the Day, plus a Featured Deadspin Response or two ...

• "I think that it has the potential to go to a five-set match — I doubt it will though." — hipcatdaddio

(Re: Blake vs. Federer)

• I think that it has the potential to go one more notch — I doubt it will though. —ManginosBelt — 7-8 Deville

• I think I have the chance to meet that cute girl in the corner of the jazz club— I doubt I will, though, while wearing this retro pork pie hat." —hipcatdaddio — Carlton Whitfield

• These amps have the potential to go to 11—I doubt they ever will though.—Nigel Tufnel — Ukrainenotweak

• I think ESPN's Comment of the Day has the potential to not suck. I doubt it won't, though.
— hipwaderdaddio — Eric J2: Electric Jewgaloo

• "I got the Pack by a touchdown." — Flyestgod

Previous ESPN Featured Comments Of The Day, and a Featured Deadspin Response ...

• "Even if Dallas does beat the Packers it will not beat them by a lot." — 1clvrdude

• 1clvrdude: (Hurriedly dials phone) Dude, I'm totally the featured comment on ESPN.com right now!!

Friend: Really? (rushes to computer, logs in, scrolls down, silently reads...)

1clvrdude: See! I told you!

Friend: Did you play that kid Corky on "Life Goes On"?

— Maybe The Nibbles Ate Your Baby

——————————

• "I would really love to see a playoff system in college football." — gatordmb89

• He really does have an excellent point. He likes the Gators and Dave Matthews Band so he's two-for-two when it comes to valid opinions of what I should like. I would like to subscribe to his newsletter. — Sandburgh

——————————

• "The Pats needed a test like this, it will only make them better. I hope they go undefeated." — Leo l.

• To be fair, Leo I wasn't a very controversial pope. I bet Pius XII would've had some real hard-hitting analysis. — Shea Guevara

• "I would really love to see a playoff system in college football." — gatordmb89

Previous ESPN Featured Comments, and the Featured Deadspin Response ...

• "The Pats needed a test like this, it will only make them better. I hope they go undefeated." — Leo l.

• To be fair, Leo I wasn't a very controversial pope. I bet Pius XII would've had some real hard-hitting analysis. — Shea Guevara

• "The Pats needed a test like this, it will only make them better. I hope they go undefeated." — Leo l.

"Beckett is totally and utterly dominant right now. He has perfect form/mechanics and is splendid to watch. " — luminousmidnight

Wow, I almost cut myself on that one! Either ESPN commenters are really that boring, or the red-headed twin censors from Good Morning, Vietnam have found a new job.

ESPN Understand What The Kids Are Talking About [Deadspin]
ESPN.com

This one's the "Weekly Viewer Report," in which the Leader breaks down its reader feedback for the week. We find it mostly depressing; is the biggest college football complaint from fans still "Disliked female commentators during LSU vs. Tulane game Saturday?" Full memo is after the jump.

—————————————

WEEKLY VIEWER REPORT
September 24- 30

TOTAL RESPONSE - 4,907 [down 38% from previous week]

Letters 9 ( 2 favorable/general; 7 unfavorable)
Calls 512 ( 176 favorable/general; 336 unfavorable)
Emails 4,386 (1,168 favorable/general; 3,218 unfavorable)
Total 4,907 (1,346 favorable/general; 3,561 unfavorable)

Quick Hits:

*

College Football fans disappointed Saturday's Miami vs. Duke game was not televised on ESPN or ABC [25 % of all CFB feedback]
*
Viewers outside of the regionalized areas upset Oregon vs. Cal and Clemson vs. Ga Tech games were not televised nationwide
*
Viewers offer opinions on Michael Vick town meeting 'SportsCenter Special: The Vick Divide'
*
FIFA Women's World Cup fans enjoyed the extensive LIVE coverage, but felt there was too much talk about US goalkeeper during the game against Brazil
*
Fans enjoyed ESPN2's presentation of the 2007 Drum Corp International Championships

Top items this week:

College Football - 1,690 (331 fav/gen; 1,359 unfav) [ 9/29 and 9/30 - 661; midweek schedule inquiries - 400; carry over from previous week - 629]
[Volume Comparison: Last week: - 3,486 (f-407, u-3079); This Season - 10,926 (f- 1,646, u- 9,280)]

Viewer feedback to Saturday's games is down 52% from the previous week. Schedule issues remain the primary source of concern among fans, however a significant shift in volume this weekend can be attributed to that fact that we did not leave games in progress and switched away to another match-up.

Scheduling - 780

*
Disappointed ESPN or ABC did not televise Saturday's Miami vs. Duke game - 396 [Requested for game to be added to ESPN GamePlan - 186]
*
Viewers in the East and Midwest upset Oregon vs. Cal not shown nationally [game was offered in 20% of the country and on ESPN GamePlan] - 129
*
Fans outside of the Clemson vs. Ga Tech market upset it was not shown nationally [game offered in 21% of the country and on ESPN GamePlan] - 51
*
Viewers complaining about regionalization of Saturday's games on ABC / think it's unfair - 101
*
Viewers with no access to ESPNU disappointed they couldn't see Pittsburgh vs. Virginia - 24
*
Schedule questions - 79

Viewers' Voice:
- "I live in Colorado; Texas and Kansas State equals BORING. Rest assured your ratings will be weak where CAL/ORG isn't on (besides home team markets) It should be on nationally."
- "Just wanted to write and ask ya'll to put on the Miami /Duke game on one of your stations or GamePlan this week."

Carry-over from previous week - 629:

*
Scheduling - Cutting away from games in regionalized markets upset fans - 287
*
Commentators - OU vs. TU - unrelated discussion about Notre Dame perceived as excessive - 219
*
Schedule questions - 123

Commentators - 160

* Disliked female commentators during LSU vs. Tulane game Saturday - 52
*
Commentary during ND vs. Purdue, MSU vs. Wisconsin, USC vs. Washington and Thursday's Boise State game perceived as biased and unprofessional - 83
*
Disliked overall commentary - 25

Viewers' Voice:
- "I hope you review the game and the commentator Pam Ward. I really wonder if she knows anything about football. She is calling out things in the game that aren't even close. I don't dislike her commentary she's just off. ex. calling kick offs- punts."
- "Those two you had covering that game are so bad and again ESPN shows its true colors as all out Notre Dame haters."
- "The announcers sound like they didn't prepare for this game. The make simple comments and show hits that MSU makes five times to embarrass the Spartans. Very biased."

Overall Coverage - 88

*
Five minute interview with USF head coach during Auburn game perceived as too lengthy - 35
*
Disliked halftime shows - 12
*
General comments on teams, athletes and coaches - 41

Viewers' Voice:
- "What were your producers thinking? An inane, self congratulatory interview for 5 minutes while a top ranked team is driving, losing by 14 and not a single play call, replay. Bush League coverage."

College GameDay - 33

* Fans requesting CGD come to their schools - 33 [Clemson; UK; Purdue]

Viewers ' Voice:
- "There are rumors circulating that LSU has been given GameDay - AGAIN. Although the official schedule does not come out until Monday, how is that fair? LSU had GameDay a few weeks ago. Florida lost yesterday and Purdue v. OSU has potential to be a great game!"

MNF [Titans vs. Saints] - 675 (124 fav/gen; 551 unfav)
[Volume Comparison: Last week: - 1,404 ; This Season - 10,006 ]
Negative response to commentators and sideline reports accounted for 75% of all feedback. Many viewers say they enjoy our coverage but are 'annoyed' by the commentary. Other feedback included criticism on the PTI segment during halftime; requests for last year's Monday Night Countdown feature "Jacked Up"; and delays in audio or HD issues with their providers. [side note - we received 200+ complaints on the "Jacked Up" segment in 2006 and 14 requests for it this season so far]

*
Commentary (506)
*
Overall coverage (102)
*
Guest and side-line interviews (48)
*
Schedule inquiries (19)

Viewers ' Voice:
- "His [Jaws] experience on and off the field coupled with his fantastic delivery of facts during the broadcast is outstanding. I look forward to Monday nights now."
- "I've been watching MNF for 30 years. Love your coverage of football; but really dislike your MNF threesome. Especially Kornheiser? - all they do is argue - don't talk about football that much - seem to like disagreeing and bickering back and forth."
- "Last football season, I looked forward to watching Monday Night Football. Not only because it was Monday night football, but my favorite segment was "jacked-up" during the half time show. I was looking forward to seeing "jacked-up" this season, but I was disappointed with the PTI segment."

Motor Sports - 384 (59 fav/gen; 325 unfav)

[Volume Comparison: Last week: - 315 ; This Season - 7,798]
Moving Sunday's NASCAR NEXTEL Cup Series at Kansas from ABC to ESPN2 due to a weather delay concerned most viewers this weekend. Many fans with no access to cable, or fans that set their VCR's were disappointed they missed the race. In addition, Saturday's NASCAR Countdown was moved to ESPN Classic due to CFB running long on ESPN2.

*

# Enjoy coverage (17) Profanity used by Tony Stewart (10)
# Schedule change (176)
# Dislike Commentary (108)
# Amount of commercials (31)
# Schedule inquiries (24)
# NHRA fans commenting on John Force accident previous week (18)

Viewers ' Voice:
- "I had to be out with the family today so I recorded the race on ABC. After watching until the final rain delay. ABC thought it best to switch to ESPN. For those of us that can't sit on the couch in the middle of the day it was very upsetting."
- "I'm so pleased that ESPN is broadcasting NASCAR. What terrific coverage. Your network puts all others to shame. Please, please keep up the great work. Rusty Wallace does extremely well as a commentator. We hope you have the television contract for the next years."
- "I am so tired of turning on my TV to watch racing countdown and the race on ESPN to find a freaking football game on with the game even going into the start of the race at times!"
- "I didn't hear Tony curse on TV, I wasn't watching. But I've read about it in many different places. I think you guy just go out and try to piss Tony off. You can not tell me that you don't use the delay for professional athletes."
- "Thank you for the 1/2 hour extended NHRA coverage on Sunday.. the overall coverage was excellent.. Although Marty Reid is much better than Mr Page. Terrific job overall, thank you."

News and Information - 337 (70 fav/gen; 267 unfav)
[Volume Comparison: Last week: - 200]
The majority of feedback pertained to Thursday's town meeting 'SportsCenter Special: The Vick Divide' on Michael Vick. Viewers perceived the audience and guests as 'rude', shared their personal take on the case and some accused ESPN of playing the 'race-card: 'These stories divide this country more every day.'

Other fans were commenting on Oklahoma State Cowboys' coach Mike Gundy for going on a rant in the post-game interview after a 49-45 victory over Texas Tech on Monday; and, as in past weeks, some fans are concerned about the selection of highlights and feel their favorite CFB or NFL team is being left out.

SportsCenter - 170

*
'SportsCenter Special: The Vick Divide' (81)
*
Mike Gundy's rant (41)
*
Selection of Highlights (29)
*
Dislike hosts (19)

Viewers' Voice:
- "I applaud your attempt to have an educational debate on high profile athlete expectations, but your town hall debate seemed nothing more than a sad attempt to keep the Vick story alive for your benefit."
- "Are you sports reporters or court TV reporters? Michael Vick does NOT play football or any sport for that matter, anymore and your coverage (i.e. The Town Hall meeting for example) is a complete waste of my time WAY to over the top!"
- "Why do you guys have to make Mike Gundy out to be the bad guy because he's sticking up for one of his players who was raked over the coals by an Oklahoma newspaper that basically fabricated most of its story."
- "I have to say that I thought the audience reaction during the meeting was very predictable to me. Nationally Race may not be the major issue in this case, but in Atlanta its all about RACE!!!"

1st and 10 - 46
PTI - 36
ESPN First Take - 30
Mike and Mike - 17
Rome is Burning - 16
Outside the Lines - 12
ATH - 10

Baseball - 176 (41 fav/gen; 135 unfav)
[Volume Comparison: Last week: - 565 ; This Season - 7 ,452]
MLB fans perceived our game coverage as inadequate and were upset that more games were not offered this week. As in the past, frustration over blackouts and biased commentary continue.

* Schedule inquiries (78)
* Blackouts (43) [Braves vs. Phillies]
* Commentators (55) [mainly during Cardinals vs. Astros]

Viewers' Voice :
- "Jon Miller and Joe Morgan spent more time talking about other topics than covering the ball game we were watching. At one point they missed the whole half inning interviewing via the phone a Phillies player."
- "It is the last week of the MLB season, only one of six division races has been decided, the wild card team has not been decided in either league, and ESPN has only ONE game, both day and night, on TV this week!"

Additional Feedback:

Soccer - 132(67 fav/gen; 65 unfav)

[Volume Comparison: Last week: - 277; This Season - 3,516]
Extensive analysis of the decision to take Hope out as a goalkeeper on team USA during the game against Brazil was perceived as disruptive.

*
Enjoy coverage and commentary (12)
*
Analysis during US vs. Brazil game perceived as excessive (52)
*
Disappointed commentators revealed scores of other games (13)
*
Schedule inquiries (14)
*
General comments about the coaches decision to change goalkeepers (41)

Viewers' Voice:
- "Your post game feature on Hope Solo and her father was very touching. We can criticize this young lady's decision, but clearly the issue was much deeper than "player criticizes coach." I'm very glad I watched it, and I appreciate your decision to air it."
- "I have watched every women's world cup game - showing all games live is exceptional. Your game commentators have been perfect - they call the games, give information and don't get overly boisterous or silly."
- "I waited all day to watch the USA play Brazil in the women's world cup semifinals. When the ESPN2HD announcer at 7:00pm PDST made the announcement 'stay tuned for a replay of this morning's semifinal match and see the USA fall to Brazil.'"
- "I recorded the women's FIFA world cup game (US vs. Brazil) and just watched it with my family. I must say that we all felt it was necessary to MUTE the commentators as they kept going on and on about the Surry vs. Hope substitution."

The Contender - 15(15 fav/gen)
Fans inquiring about casting calls, reairs and a DVD of the series.

2007 Drum Corp International Championships - 16 (16 fav/gen)
Viewers thanking ESPN for televising the event.

Viewers' Voice:
- "I am NOW watching the Drum Corps International Championships, and want to say THANK YOU VERY MUCH for adding these competitions to your programming. I think ESPN2 is AWWWWWWWESOME!"

Of the hundreds and hundreds of comments left on ESPN over the last 24 hours, yes, the editors over there have chosen this as the one most worthy of front page note. We imagine a poor intern, charged with the assignment of digging through the mostly brutal Conversation boards, coming across "You can throw out the first 162, it all comes down to one game. Go Rockies!" and leaping out of their chair, running to their boss' desk and screaming, "We've got it! We've found the perfect one!"

From now on, all Deadspin comments should read something like, "The Cubs are in the playoffs. Go Cubs!" It is decreed.

We never thought the whole uprising thing has anything to do with Simmons himself, and, in fact, we always felt a little bad about some of the comments about the Sports Gal, among other things. It was about a company not really understanding how the Web works, and watching people rush the castle and let the royal court know what they thought. It was immature and ribald and chaotic. But, most important: It was hilarious. It just felt good, you know?

But is it a Hall of Famer? Seventy five percent is the threshold for induction. Vote below: Polls will be open until next Monday morning.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

As many of you noticed yesterday, our friends at ESPN.com have discontinued ESPN Conversation on its Page 2 columns. They're calling it the end of the "Beta" testing, though we're not sure how much sense that makes: Why would you test something on the most easily-commented upon stories just to push it off to the "news stories" section when you're actually "ready" to launch? What's fun about commenting on news stories?

We can't help but think Bill Simmons had something to do with this. The only column he ever wrote that had comments was this infamous one; after that unfortunate bombardment — in which most just considered Simmons the guy who got caught in the crossfire — there have been no comments on any Simmons story. We can't imagine he was pleased with that, particularly while he was on the road in Miami. We understand the sentiment, but commenting on"headline" news stories, and commenting on articles by ESPN personalities, are two radically different things. It's hard to have a conversation with a wire story.

All-Star Diamond In The Emerald City [ESPN]
The Day ESPN.com Stood Still [Deadspin]

Filtering is a complex, ongoing functionality. ESPN Conversations are in a beta stage and we will continue to refine the filtering process as it relates to our content and fan postings. The word 'gay' is one that, unfortunately, can be used in a derogatory way. The initial intention of filtering it was to prevent hate speech. We have since made adjustments and the word 'gay' is no longer blocked. Our 24/7 moderation will handle usage on a case-by-case basis."

We repeat: The poor intern over there. Should have went to law school, man.

ESPN Wants You To Type g.a.y." [Gelf Magazine]
Man,That Commenting Feature Is Totally #### [Deadspin]

No, seriously, they do: You can find it in this LZ Granderson column about John Amaechi. Even though the column — well written, though we're not sure we buy the initial premise — features sentences like "I am so over gay people," "commenters" find the word "gay" being translated as "####." No, really, it does.

So, this could be a fun game: What words can you say on "ESPN Conversation," and which can't you? If anybody has a commenting "account" over there, this might be an enjoyable way to spend an afternoon.

What To Censor? [Three And Out]
Another Ex-Athlete Comes Out? Not Impressed [ESPN]
The Day ESPN.com Stood Still [Deadspin]

It's a day we'll always remember ... and we're not necessarily sure it's over. From one proud commenter:

Good morning. In less than an hour, commenters from here will join others from around the world. And you will be launching the largest comment board battle in the history of the internets. "Internets." That word should have new meaning for all of us today. We can't be consumed by our petty differences anymore. We will be united in our common interests. Perhaps it's fate that today is the First of February, and you will once again be fighting for our freedom... Not from tyranny, oppression, or persecution... but from the WWL. We are fighting for our right to live. To exist. And should we win the day, the First of February will no longer be known as a Deadspin holiday, but as the day the ebays declared in one voice: "Our comments will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight!" We're going to live on! We're going to survive! Today we celebrate our Underground Day!

A bit much, but ... so awesome. You guys absolutely rule.

After the jump, we have the initial comments that immediately followed Bill Simmons' column — which ended being the Ground Zero here. We don't actually think it was anything personal against Simmons (mostly, anyway, and some of the Sports Gal comments were a bit much, but we're sensitive that way); we think he was just the high-profile start to this. And it's not the content of the comments so much, anyway; it was just the day when everyone rose up and screamed. It was glorious to witness. The comments directly after the post are jaw-dropping to watch; you see the concept go from tentative, to festive, to ... well, for everything to change and spiral gloriously out of control. Enjoy.

aggiefan1986 (2/1/2007 at 2:11 PM) Report Ignore

Bill:Will you change your web layout back to the way it used to be? Reading your articles now is like staring at the sun. Thanks

gdaddy84 (2/1/2007 at 2:14 PM) Report Ignore

The hills>Laguna Beach

Buckscott (2/1/2007 at 2:16 PM) Report Ignore

born and raised in the county dade... welcome to our lives!ps. they modeling agency from the short lived MTV show 8th and ocean is located directly above the Johnny Rockets you were visiting.

bamakomalli (2/1/2007 at 2:16 PM) Report Ignore

wait, we can just randomly comment on articles now? Is this serious? how soon till myspace law takes over and people just rush to comment first without even reading the article, followed by at least 10 people making fun of that person for not coming up with anything more original than "FIRST". Ok I make no sense now.

gtrain78 (2/1/2007 at 2:18 PM) Report Ignore

Enjoyed the column, especially the very last sentence: "I haven't run into one person who thinks the Bears can win on Sunday. Not one." You gotta love the Bears SU after hearing that.

fausel (2/1/2007 at 2:19 PM) Report Ignore

Two things Bill.1- You are the one who told people to pay $20 to a stripper to give a friend a lap dance and when he asks her what her name is to tell her to say the name of her newborn daughter. Now you are are afraid of it happening to you?2- As a Knicks fan, I am exceedingly pleased that they traded that pick to Chicago right now. No way I would want Oden or Durant instead of Eddie Curry. It might take Curry the month of February to get 23 rebounds.

aschrag83 (2/1/2007 at 2:20 PM) Report Ignore

ESPN... you need to kill this comments thing RIGHT NOW. This is awful. Please. At least don't include it for every article.

sportstar4l (2/1/2007 at 2:22 PM) Report Ignore

I picked the Bears to beat the Colts 27-17, and I'm a Jets fan. So there's one for ya. Thomas Jones wins Super Bowl MVP with a game of 125 yards and 2 TDs.

jackunderscoredaniels (2/1/2007 at 2:24 PM) Report Ignore

That was lame Thimmons. every newspaper has a travel section, but thanks for looking out.

Will777 (2/1/2007 at 2:24 PM) Report Ignore

Hi Bill, I'm either high right now or I am commenting to you on your article or both

WagonJumper (2/1/2007 at 2:24 PM) Report Ignore

Please make these comments stop. I promise you that this isn't a good idea.

jackunderscoredaniels (2/1/2007 at 2:26 PM) Report Ignore

Why, WagonJumper?

bzani1238 (2/1/2007 at 2:29 PM) Report Ignore

Comments? Oh man. Simmons, meet Deadspinners. Deadspinners, Simmons.

Jimbanna (2/1/2007 at 2:29 PM) Report Ignore

People from Indiana in South Beach will be roughly equivalent to that tiger walking in the snow in the Philly zoo from Rocky II.

Jumball (2/1/2007 at 2:29 PM) Report Ignore

What's wrong with comments? If you idiots don't want to read them, don't. It's not hard.

ripken0713 (2/1/2007 at 2:30 PM) Report Ignore

They've stopped giving singles at Columbus, OH (where I live) strip clubs. You can only get 2s. I hate this trend, as it ruins my whole "tipping" strategy.

cmoney1020 (2/1/2007 at 2:32 PM) Report Ignore

The one time I was in Miami, my company paid for an awesome hotel room on South Beach. The only problem was that night a hurricane hit. That, plus the hour long ride from Miami International to the hotel, is the dark side of Miami...if I had personally paid for the room, I'd be in tears.

bennydis (2/1/2007 at 2:35 PM) Report Ignore

Seriously? How bad does Simmons want to be black?

gratlax555 (2/1/2007 at 2:37 PM) Report Ignore

I must say, I do agree with the old layout, with the yellow background and the bigger text. It made it easier to read...I wish ESPN would try some sort of poll to see who actually likes the new format.

stsakatruth (2/1/2007 at 2:37 PM) Report Ignore

AAHhhh If it wasnt for the Pats losing I would be there with ya... Im trying to think of what Damon Jones nickname for you would be... All I could come up with is "guy"

TheSaxist (2/1/2007 at 2:37 PM) Report Ignore

Wait, you can comment now? Seriously? Can I get a ruling on this? My friends H-Dog and Corky just compared this to Fresh Prince recasting the role of Aunt Viv halfway through the series in the "Bad Idea Scale of Things That Are Really Bad Ideas".

griffithsry (2/1/2007 at 2:38 PM) Report Ignore

You magnificent #### Simmons... you're assesment of South Beach is right on. But it can't compare to this week's blog by A.J. Daulerio on Deadspin. Seriously, if you want comedy hit that up and make sure to continuie after the jump.

stsakatruth (2/1/2007 at 2:39 PM) Report Ignore

TheSaxist <<<<< Trying too hard to be like Bill...

turleywe2 (2/1/2007 at 2:40 PM) Report Ignore

In response to your "I haven't run into one person who thinks the Bears can win on Sunday. Not one." comment. I was in New Orleans for Super Bowl XXXVI and remember hearing the same thing about the Patriots and look how that turned out? Thanks Martz. Yes, I'm still very bitter about that.

dubsquad (2/1/2007 at 2:41 PM) Report Ignore

my head hurts from reading this article, the colors were too bright.........and I'm colorblind..

brianallen002003 (2/1/2007 at 2:41 PM) Report Ignore

This comments section is going to get out of control fast. ESPN, stop it now. Has anyone at ESPN ever seen one of his chats? This is Bad Idea Jeans bad. "Normally I wear protection, but then I thought, "When am I gonna make it back to Haiti?"

ptkleinus (2/1/2007 at 2:41 PM) Report Ignore

I just spent a couple of days in South Beach for work, and all the hot local chicks look exactly the same: tight jeans, boots up to the calves, and impossibly-perfect racks. Long live globalization!

bennydis (2/1/2007 at 2:41 PM) Report Ignore

Saxist's joke <<<<< Right over stsakatruth's head...

BigDaddyDrewFKS (2/1/2007 at 2:42 PM) Report Ignore

I don't like this comment feature. People are just going to use it as an excuse to bash Simmons online anonymously. And that's not good, because Bill has skin that's thinner than Saran Wrap.

waynerrocks (2/1/2007 at 2:42 PM) Report Ignore

you can tell just how happy bill is...his column is all over the place and completely manic. if that's what miami can do, i'm changing my spring break plans

FutileSixers (2/1/2007 at 2:42 PM) Report Ignore

Paul Pierce needs to hurry the hell up and find some health.

bennydis (2/1/2007 at 2:43 PM) Report Ignore

I think it's funny how people who are saying they don't like the comments feature are actually leaving comments.

tmagers (2/1/2007 at 2:46 PM) Report Ignore

http://sonsofkc.blogspot.com/

morecowbell74 (2/1/2007 at 2:46 PM) Report Ignore

When is Bill going to weigh in on that Celtic who blew out his knee on a failed dunk attempt three full seconds after the whistle blew?

tmagers (2/1/2007 at 2:46 PM) Report Ignore

This comment section will end badly. Everyone knows this.

cart0211 (2/1/2007 at 2:47 PM) Report Ignore

everybody lets pray, pray to the football gods that adam vinatieri wins the super bowl with a game-ending field goal so simmons gets to spend a full offseason in agony. boo patriots.

attanasio77 (2/1/2007 at 2:48 PM) Report Ignore

Bill, has Salisbury forwarded you any pictures from his cell phone yet?

jpmills3 (2/1/2007 at 2:50 PM) Report Ignore

You will rule this day Billiam, oh yes...you will rue the day of allowing comments. PS — Why do you never answer my questions?

Gym_Class_Hero (2/1/2007 at 2:50 PM) Report Ignore

www.purevolume.com/9flip6 -> it's a rocking band, check it out!

jpmills3 (2/1/2007 at 2:50 PM) Report Ignore

Imagine how big this thread will be when Bill fails to do a new colum for over a week...

roches09 (2/1/2007 at 2:51 PM) Report Ignore

sweet merciful crap

BigDaddyDrewFKS (2/1/2007 at 2:51 PM) Report Ignore

Hey, who wants to talk burritos?

OK. So we couldn't resist. What's going on at Bill Simmons' "comments" page is among the most hilarious things we have seen on the Web in a long time.

We recommend everyone keep the game going. We plan to. Here, there, everywhere.

After the jump, we'll be compiling a bunch of deleted comments. Feel free to email us any you can capture.

attanasio77 (2/1/2007 at 4:03 PM)
Has this comment section gone the way of Harold Reynolds?
kancit27 (2/1/2007 at 4:04 PM)
Censor me please!
BlackCapricorn (2/1/2007 at 4:04 PM)
Much like lil Shawn, these comments have been swept under the rug
yamabushiX (2/1/2007 at 4:04 PM)
My 'conversation BETA's fallen, AND IT CANT GET UP!
wickne26 (2/1/2007 at 4:04 PM)
After reading this, I hate the Sports Guy
GorgeForeman (2/1/2007 at 4:05 PM)
> From where I sit on Jason Whitlock's sofa, there are some deleting
shenanigans going on here.
Doodyhead329 (2/1/2007 at 4:05 PM)
Censor, Schmensor. This story sucks.
IshitBruins (2/1/2007 at 4:05 PM)
I wonder if Simmons is going to check out the local library. Oh no!
Stop following me..........
UntouchableMonkey (2/1/2007 at 4:05 PM)
Brian Kinchen likes your discussion of "The Hills."
kidcanada1 (2/1/2007 at 4:05 PM)
you can stop a revolutionary, but you can't stop a revolution!
Kernel3434 (2/1/2007 at 4:06 PM)
The ghost of Tom Mees is disappointed in you all
Hextall454 (2/1/2007 at 4:06 PM)
Wow, that really escalated.
byotruce (2/1/2007 at 4:06 PM)
something has to be wrong with a grown man that tells the public that
he watches The Hills.
44inarow (2/1/2007 at 4:06 PM)
Remember when Simmons was on "Win Ben Stein's Money"?
BlackCapricorn (2/1/2007 at 4:07 PM)
Bill- this comments section is sure to be nominated for a SHOTY which
means- here comes the Rainbow Bridge!
GopherTutor (2/1/2007 at 4:07 PM)
You're with me, censoring underpaid interns.
bzani1238 (2/1/2007 at 4:07 PM)
One word can this entire experience up:Whimsy.
imabrowser (2/1/2007 at 4:07 PM)
Speaking of South Beach.......................Oakland A's Suck!
kancit27 (2/1/2007 at 4:07 PM)
Hey Bill why don't you leave tWWL for its own good? You are sooooo
magnificent that if you left it might even make Berman good. You know,
Ewing theory and all. Just saying.
GopherTutor (2/1/2007 at 4:08 PM)
Does the first person banned get a free pair of mouse ears?
yamabushiX (2/1/2007 at 4:08 PM)
Why the long face Bill?too soon?
bmudbone (2/1/2007 at 4:08 PM)
So I was reading on the Interwebs the other day that Bill Simmons may
have jumped the shark. But then I prayed to the Basketball Jesus and
felt better.
easmith11 (2/1/2007 at 4:08 PM)
I was in Miami last weekend and spent some time in South Beach (I
know, great timing), I'm thoroughly enjoying the Sports Guy
perspective. It's one of the few places in America where you know the
whole time you're there where you are, as opposed to 90% of the rest
of the country which looks like every place else. Also, I have
directed my nephews to address me exclusively as "Unc", which I think
means that as of now, it's a lot less cool than it was 4 hours ago.
UWML (2/1/2007 at 4:08 PM)
Norby please dont pull the plug on this. Havent had this much fun on
ESPN since.. well never.
kidcanada1 (2/1/2007 at 4:08 PM)
this idea has TREMENDOUS UPSIDE POTENTIAL!
BrentS007 (2/1/2007 at 4:08 PM)
YOU'RE WITH ME BERMAN YOU'RE WITH ME BERMAN YOU'RE WITH ME BERMAN
YOU'RE WITH ME BERMAN YOU'RE WITH ME BERMAN ARE YOU LISTENING BERMANS
WIFE?
smcclone (2/1/2007 at 4:08 PM)
These comments are the balls.
supermike20000 (2/1/2007 at 4:08 PM)
there is really only one man that could make south beach better - and
that one man is me. supermike. either me or Al Jefferson.remember Alan
Grant? man, that guy was a racist!
BigDaddyDrewFKS (2/1/2007 at 4:08 PM)
The Sex Cannon has blasted through these commetns once again.
whygavs (2/1/2007 at 4:08 PM)
Wait, did they seriously think that closing the comments for 20
minutes would make this stop? NO ONE STOPS THE UNDERGROUND!!!
Hobbs_Roy (2/1/2007 at 4:08 PM)
Hextall, you've gotta keep your head on a swivel out here.
BrentS007 (2/1/2007 at 4:08 PM)
DEADSPI.COM IS THE BEST
FiveiZ (2/1/2007 at 4:09 PM)
Is Bill a combat vet? Is that, in fact, his real name?
GopherTutor (2/1/2007 at 4:09 PM)
They shoot Simmonses, you know.
UntouchableMonkey (2/1/2007 at 4:09 PM)
I'm sure Bill will check out the party at The Bird Cage.
WoodyIsMyDad (2/1/2007 at 4:09 PM)
A missive from the underground.... : Simmons, come on out and meet
your doom, for we are SUNDAY MONDAY TUESDAY WEDNESDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY
SATURDAY. They first came for your homeland of Boston, now they come
for you!
BrentS007 (2/1/2007 at 4:09 PM)
DEADSPIN.COM SORRY
chazzchenko (2/1/2007 at 4:09 PM)
So Shaq, Ralph Macchio, and Ian Ziering each have a party Friday
night...which setting is the best for Van Pelt to rock Super Bowl
weekend?
FiveiZ (2/1/2007 at 4:09 PM)
ESPN, you done been CANNONIZED.
whygavs (2/1/2007 at 4:09 PM)
In the spirit of BDD- This isn't a comments section, THIS IS A ####
CRY FOR HELP!!!
BigRicks2000 (2/1/2007 at 4:10 PM)
The comments seem to be back up. Affirmed.
smcclone (2/1/2007 at 4:10 PM)
Somebody's gotta put a body on Bill Simmons.
CadwalladerU (2/1/2007 at 4:10 PM)
Wow...it's so much easier to post comments on ESPN the Conversation
than to become a commenter on DEADSPIN.
bzani1238 (2/1/2007 at 4:10 PM)
Ya know who's a prime candidate for the Ewing Theory? Mark Shapiro.
Long Live Norby~!
masox923 (2/1/2007 at 4:10 PM)
Intercepting letter-From - WWLTo Emo BangsPlease stop this! think of
the children! WHY WON'T YOU THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!?!
kidcanada1 (2/1/2007 at 4:10 PM)
GOOD GOD! THAT'S...THAT'S WILL LEITCH'S MUSIC!
LeScoopertemp (2/1/2007 at 4:10 PM)
HI! THIS IS JI—
LynneJones04 (2/1/2007 at 4:10 PM)
Oh Snap! Now you've been censored!
rji3m (2/1/2007 at 4:10 PM)
Hey, it's Ji
LeScoopertemp (2/1/2007 at 4:10 PM)
JIM THOME!
Ramstone (2/1/2007 at 4:10 PM)
You stay classy, confused mismanaged Disney brand
BigGreenOaklandTarp (2/1/2007 at 4:10 PM)
What does J-Bug think of Salisbury's junk?
juice6916 (2/1/2007 at 4:10 PM)
Norby's engorged
rji3m (2/1/2007 at 4:10 PM)
Jim Thome
ShaunMcNamee (2/1/2007 at 4:10 PM)
Wow, over/under on deletion of more comments from this section? 4:20 EST?
mnagi23 (2/1/2007 at 4:11 PM)
deadspin.com rules.... simmons jumped the shark..... keep the comment
page going!you're with me leather..... Sincerely,Salisbury's Crank
Hextall454 (2/1/2007 at 4:11 PM)
I saw that. Hotbod killed a guy. Did you throw a trident?
BrentS007 (2/1/2007 at 4:11 PM)
WRITE YOU STUPID #### COLUMNIST WRITE!!!
bsullivan3333 (2/1/2007 at 4:11 PM)
I will comment with you as long as it doesn't end up on the internet.
Remember. No internet.
aserranoduke (2/1/2007 at 4:11 PM)
You're with me, Deadspin account. allocute@gmail.com! Thanks Barbaro!
BlackCapricorn (2/1/2007 at 4:11 PM)
Woody- are you referring to the bruising of the Simmons' ####? And who
named this highway click, click, click, click?
MetsCraig (2/1/2007 at 4:11 PM)
Remember when ESPN used to be cool and SportsCenter didn't feel the
need to bring on medicore former college and pro athletes to say stuff
like "The key to winning the game is scoring more points than the
other team."Yeah, those were good times.
kissingsuzy (2/1/2007 at 4:11 PM)
censored....too soon?
FiveiZ (2/1/2007 at 4:11 PM)
Deadspin requires a much higer degree of excellence in the field of #### jokes.
JESkeets (2/1/2007 at 4:11 PM)
Hey Rob, thanks for the +1 million at With Leather.
BrentS007 (2/1/2007 at 4:11 PM)
MAN I WISH I COULD GET AN ACCOUNT ONTO DEADSPIN
MBerry (2/1/2007 at 4:11 PM)
DO YOU HAVE ANY PRIDE, CENSORS?
GopherTutor (2/1/2007 at 4:11 PM)
CadwalladerU, that's because Deadspin has standards. tWWl has Stephen A. Smith.
HenchJBug (2/1/2007 at 4:11 PM)
Curse you Deadspinners for harassing our buddy...curse you all!!!!
BigDaddyDrewFKS (2/1/2007 at 4:11 PM)
But I don't see what you people have to gain by venting to a comments
section. What's the benefit? So you win the respect of the 3,000
people who spend 8 hours a day posting on sports journalism message
boards and blogs because you were "shooting from the hip"?
Congratulations. What is this, wrestling? I just feel like there was a
better way to handle this. Like sending Bill human waste in
Tupperware.
smcclone (2/1/2007 at 4:12 PM)
These comments are the balls.
scarhelton9 (2/1/2007 at 4:12 PM)
Did Stuart Scott actually see Michelle Beisner when he banged her?

Hobbs_Roy (2/1/2007 at 4:20 PM) Report Ignore

Hey, I thought we were going to be able to conversate here.

attanasio77 (2/1/2007 at 4:20 PM) Report Ignore

Wait a minute. Tom Jackson can say "r-e-t-a-r-d-e-d" on air but we can't type it into this soon-to-be extinct comment board? C'mon, NORBY, you're better than that.

CBates28 (2/1/2007 at 4:20 PM) Report Ignore

Momma?

GimelMartinez1976 (2/1/2007 at 4:20 PM) Report Ignore

I hope After Dark shows the clip of Simmons and "Handsome" Ghost Ridin' Da Whip down Ocean.Put your stunna shades on!

UntouchableMonkey (2/1/2007 at 4:20 PM) Report Ignore

Your friend Jimmy's show was the balls when he had an interesting co-host like Snoop, Tyson, or Perry Farrel. Otherwise it is not the balls. I want to meet your friend Jimmy's girlfriend Sarah's little sister Laura.I look forward to your friend Jimmy's girlfriend Sarah's show debut this evening.

tuck7612 (2/1/2007 at 4:20 PM) Report Ignore

i think deadspin is cool

bigjimslade153 (2/1/2007 at 4:20 PM) Report Ignore

John "the Cougar" Mellencamp would not like this... This is OUR country, mothership!

BrentS007 (2/1/2007 at 4:20 PM) Report Ignore

STOP ERASING COMMENTS!!!!

truck3 (2/1/2007 at 4:20 PM) Report Ignore

Will I still be able to get ESPN8 on my local cable network?

Paganicon (2/1/2007 at 4:20 PM) Report Ignore

I wonder if any of the wonderboys at ESPN have any idea what a monumentally bad idea it is to attempt to beat the underground at its own game. I guess we'll just have to show them.

jonjacoby (2/1/2007 at 4:20 PM) Report Ignore

CARL MONDAY IS WATCHING YOU BILL!

tehMick (2/1/2007 at 4:20 PM) Report Ignore

YEAH!

BlackCapricorn (2/1/2007 at 4:20 PM) Report Ignore

Bill do you get sloppy seconds on Stuart's booty calls?

EroticTangerines (2/1/2007 at 4:21 PM) Report Ignore

If a comment is left on a message board but is deleted before anyone can read it, does it make a sound?

MBerry (2/1/2007 at 4:21 PM) Report Ignore

Man, these censors, the gnaw, they scratch, they ***, they're just nickel and diming us here!

DeadTeddy8 (2/1/2007 at 4:21 PM) Report Ignore

I love how the title is "We're still in America, right?", and this is one of the first pieces to have commenting on the "new" ESPN.com, which the overlords have termed a "conversation", which implies some sort of free exchange of ideas... and yet they don't have the balls to let every comment stand. Don't they know that with as much traffic as they get, the sheer volume of commenters will lead to jackasses like me saying "Sean Salisbury is white! Harold Reynolds is black! I don't have all the information, but this looks racist to me!" or, and I'm not this much of a jackass, posting names of spouses and children? Give it up. You've always provided email addresses. That was good enough. We don't need another #### stew of morons and people baiting said morons.

GopherTutor (2/1/2007 at 4:21 PM) Report Ignore

I thought the title of this article was "We're still in America, right?" Yet all of our hard work and pen15 jokes get deleted.

Paganicon (2/1/2007 at 4:21 PM) Report Ignore

I wonder if any of the wonderboys at ESPN have any idea what a monumentally bad idea it is to attempt to beat the underground at its own game. I guess we'll just have to show them.

bmuschel (2/1/2007 at 4:21 PM) Report Ignore

It should be noted that for a brief 3.5 minutes, my voice was HEARD!You're with me, censor.

GwynnsTummy (2/1/2007 at 4:21 PM) Report Ignore

Which ESPN is this? 1, 2, 3??? Please keep the numbers. Please.

LeScoopertemp (2/1/2007 at 4:21 PM) Report Ignore

Before 4:20. Comments gone twice. Under next time for sure. Affirmed. Posted by Scoops, Toronto CA at 4:21pm

tuck7612 (2/1/2007 at 4:21 PM) Report Ignore

Hey bill did the sports gal cut your balls off and feed them to you before you left, #### bag.

irishod1 (2/1/2007 at 4:21 PM) Report Ignore

Even Barbaro Sambuceti would not watch "The Hills"

s31g24 (2/1/2007 at 4:21 PM) Report Ignore

You are no Will Leitch or Daulerio, Simmons.

truck3 (2/1/2007 at 4:21 PM) Report Ignore

I was fully expecting to see a Manning-Chesney South Beach story here, what a rip off

tehMick (2/1/2007 at 4:21 PM) Report Ignore

I blank you mother.

CBates28 (2/1/2007 at 4:21 PM) Report Ignore

Is my little darling Dee Mirich in here? She heard what you said about her dreamy equine and she's coming for you, coming for you with Brian Baldinger's pinky...

FiveiZ (2/1/2007 at 4:21 PM) Report Ignore

Lonely masturbating men with moustaches. We will not be held.

dreamboatNE (2/1/2007 at 4:21 PM) Report Ignore

Hey where's Whitlock's article?

vtpersh (2/1/2007 at 4:21 PM) Report Ignore

Hi big brave bill, Don't let these internet crazies get yoU down! Your words arE gems. forever. travelling above heads. Curing ills. lifting minds and HEarts. inspiring.

DamnSkippyDS (2/1/2007 at 4:21 PM) Report Ignore

Great ghost of Barbaro, these internets must be broken. Maybe I'll try the ebays.

BrentS007 (2/1/2007 at 4:22 PM) Report Ignore

#### WOULD YOU BELIEVE A DOUBLE?

packerboy (2/1/2007 at 4:22 PM) Report Ignore

That is also not a hair question

TheStarterWife (2/1/2007 at 4:22 PM) Report Ignore

Nice! I finally remembered my Pants Party password.When do I get to talk to the SportsGal about the Grove?

GorgeForeman (2/1/2007 at 4:22 PM) Report Ignore

Is this commenting function available on ESPNMobile?

masox923 (2/1/2007 at 4:22 PM) Report Ignore

NOTICE ME DEADTERN!!!! LEATHER MONDAY HUGH!!!!!

hbass32 (2/1/2007 at 4:22 PM) Report Ignore

You Can't Stop ESPN, you can only contain it...them...whatever...

FiveiZ (2/1/2007 at 4:22 PM) Report Ignore

OCHO ON THE EIGHT!

craigruby (2/1/2007 at 4:22 PM) Report Ignore

I am disappointed you haven't mention the "working girls" on South Beach. You know, the girls walking down the block in high heels and long coats no matter the time of year. Are you going to Diddy's party?

whygavs (2/1/2007 at 4:22 PM) Report Ignore

THESE COMMENTS ARE WHAT WE THOUGHT THEY WERE

tehMick (2/1/2007 at 4:22 PM) Report Ignore

Both teams played hard, my man.Both teams played hard.

InfamousRonSB (2/1/2007 at 4:22 PM) Report Ignore

Sam Alipour is blacker than Tony Dungy.

BigGreenOaklandTarp (2/1/2007 at 4:22 PM) Report Ignore

Nugs, come join us.

CliffX (2/1/2007 at 4:22 PM) Report Ignore

Yeah, if ESPN keeps this thing around overnight I'll give them a ####*c.king golf clap.

tuck7612 (2/1/2007 at 4:23 PM) Report Ignore

wow, i got censored, i feel like a rebel

FiveiZ (2/1/2007 at 4:23 PM) Report Ignore

The wrath of the ebays, much like the lovin' of the Sex Cannon, knows no bounds.

smcclone (2/1/2007 at 4:23 PM) Report Ignore

You know how I know you're ####? You obsess over shows meant for 14 year old girls.

festivus4all (2/1/2007 at 4:23 PM) Report Ignore

QUITE FRANKLY, I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHY YOU CANNOT FIND ANY QUALITY CHEESE DOODLES IN MIAMI!

BlackCapricorn (2/1/2007 at 4:23 PM) Report Ignore

Bill, reading your columns reminds me of some hot deer on boy action, or is that just me?

consalus83 (2/1/2007 at 4:23 PM) Report Ignore

One of the clubs Damon mentions is "Crobar" not "Crowbar", in case some people were wondering. Never been to the one in Miami, but the one in NYC is one of the best clubs the big apple has to offer. They also have a spot in Chicago and places outside the US.

bzani1238 (2/1/2007 at 4:23 PM) Report Ignore

Bill, Hench & J-Bug. Loving Companions. Watching Real World. Road Rules. Challenge. My Sentimental Friends. Affirmed.

ledzfilter (2/1/2007 at 4:23 PM) Report Ignore

Leaving work early to buy a white linen sports jacket and some orange pants...

CliffX (2/1/2007 at 4:23 PM) Report Ignore

Solve this acronym:BDCBMEPCTWTV

HenchJBug (2/1/2007 at 4:23 PM) Report Ignore

While Bill is in Miami, we are tag-teaming the SportsGal

rji3m (2/1/2007 at 4:23 PM) Report Ignore

PANTY PARTY!@!!@!!!!!!

txstate7 (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

Say, dawg. Why you cats gotta be hating on my nephew Bill? You be playa hataz. - Scoop Jackson

packerboy (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

1-31-07NEVER FORGET

pnutbutr42 (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

If Chris Berman falls down in forest alone, are the trees then obligated to say "You're With Us Leather"?

FanoftheUndrgrd (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

This comment section is awesome..it'll let me jew up some time while I'm here at work. CHEW!! I SAID CHEW up some time while I'm here at work!

yamabushiX (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

The Master has so many wives, why cant Torgo have just one?

CliffX (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

With Derek Jeter batting clean-up!

irishcapital (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

simmons is still a ####, right?

GopherTutor (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

Can I bribe somebody with an ESPN the Credit Card to keep the comments from being deleted again?

withleather (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

what too big for J-Bug now Simmons? You have become what you hated.good to see you still know how to write.RUN YOU ####-ING DINOSAUR, RUN

sg58 (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

Which lasts longer... "Quite Frankly" or Conversation?

FiveiZ (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

If you want to comment on their ####, then comment!

andsmith525 (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

What's the sports equivalent of your wife surpassing you as a writer?

Swellesley (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

"SEAN SALISBURY'S ####" - Steven A. Smith

CliffX (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

THAT'S NOT HOW YOU WEAR YOUR DEPENDS, TORGO!

masox923 (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

South Beach is horrendous. Give me Key West!!! - Alex Balk

flyers130 (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

This conversation is getting "Save Until I Delete" status in my Firefox.

BlackCapricorn (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

Clearly Norby is trying to Jew everyone

Peakdetector (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

I'm so deleting ESPN's Wikipedia entry over this.

flyinbrian37 (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

According to Wonder Showzen when your parents get divorced you are automatically a loser

CliffX (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

I am Torgo! I take care of the place while the Master is away!

tomfornelli (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

Bill, did Harold Reynolds ever hug you inappropriately?

44inarow (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

If I told you that there was a place where you could read Bill Simmons columns and then make jokes about them for the world to read, is that something you might be interested in?

InfamousRonSB (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

They're going to shave AJ's mustache for this.

truck3 (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

Let me guess, after this you are ESPN is going to burn down the Fall Creek Baptist Church because 5 old people were watching SportsCenter at the same time, breaking some copyright agreement.

txstate7 (2/1/2007 at 4:24 PM) Report Ignore

Say dawg, why you cats be hatin on my nephew Bill? You be playa hatin. - Scoop Jackson

DoubleDutySmooty (2/1/2007 at 4:25 PM) Report Ignore

Stop deleting our posts! We're only trying to get Stu Scott a proper eye-patch!!!

BrentS007 (2/1/2007 at 4:25 PM) Report Ignore

YOU'RE WITH ME BERMAN YOU'RE WITH ME BERMAN YOU'RE WITH ME BERMAN YOU'RE WITH ME BERMAN

CliffX (2/1/2007 at 4:25 PM) Report Ignore

There is no way out of here! It'll be dark soon! THERE IS NO WAY OUT OF HERE!

GorgeForeman (2/1/2007 at 4:25 PM) Report Ignore

What's tighter—comment security here, or Skip Bayless' forehead?

cmccarthy30 (2/1/2007 at 4:25 PM) Report Ignore

Why do people keep paying attention to Damon Jones?

Timmyloops (2/1/2007 at 4:25 PM) Report Ignore

We are all in trouble. Jay Mariotti's smug cloud and Bill Simmons smug cloud have combined over Miami. That smell isn't Cuba, its their own farts.

s31g24 (2/1/2007 at 4:25 PM) Report Ignore

Nothing on the 7'9 Sun Ming Ming? You suck Simmons.

wallstar0103 (2/1/2007 at 4:25 PM) Report Ignore

i hope the balls gets a picture of simmons giving brady an hj

vic7790 (2/1/2007 at 4:25 PM) Report Ignore

Bill I talked to Barbaro... he approves this article 100%!

pnutbutr42 (2/1/2007 at 4:25 PM) Report Ignore

If Chris Berman falls down in forest alone, are the trees then obligated to say "You're With Us Leather"?

CliffX (2/1/2007 at 4:25 PM) Report Ignore

The Master wants you, but he can't have you! I want you!!!

tuck7612 (2/1/2007 at 4:25 PM) Report Ignore

did espn really think that this would work? and are they that out of touch that simmons is an idiot.

FiveiZ (2/1/2007 at 4:25 PM) Report Ignore

Where are you, Denny Green?

UntouchableMonkey (2/1/2007 at 4:25 PM) Report Ignore

Anybody mind if I bojangle?

txstate7 (2/1/2007 at 4:25 PM) Report Ignore

Bill has a voice for print.

CliffX (2/1/2007 at 4:25 PM) Report Ignore

"The #### car won't start!" "Yeah, that's a real ####, daddy."

GBurgNupe (2/1/2007 at 4:25 PM) Report Ignore

AFFIRMED!

bzani1238 (2/1/2007 at 4:26 PM) Report Ignore

Bill,Don't worry about me. Harold's taking me to Boston Market tonight while you're in Miami. Love, The Sports Gal

slimc9999 (2/1/2007 at 4:26 PM) Report Ignore

I am woman, hear me roar.

kancit27 (2/1/2007 at 4:26 PM) Report Ignore

I need an official ruling. If I am not a Deadspin commentator am I part of the mainstream or am I under-underground? Can your crack journalists use me as a source? I don't mind if you give the credit to 'lil Sean even; I have a big scoop: tWWL needs new mascots—Berman and Vitale both died in 1983. You can look it up.

FanoftheUndrgrd (2/1/2007 at 4:26 PM) Report Ignore

Note to self, I need ot hang out with pro athlete's more

irishcapital (2/1/2007 at 4:26 PM) Report Ignore

Please don't delete these posts - Scoop Jackson need them for content.

dwe15 (2/1/2007 at 4:26 PM) Report Ignore

rex grossman's raining the wood all over you simmons!

astrizi (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

Holy cow, they do wipe them out fast.

slipknottier1978 (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

I #### BLEED GREEN AND WHITE!! GOOOOO CELTICS

CMF237 (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

Great Article Bill, really worked for this one

GilbertArenasonIce (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

Bud Light presents Real Men of Genius (Real Men of Genius)Today,
we salute you, ESPN comment-deleter (Delete all of those comments
baby!)One by one, taking out constutional rights (Where's my
constutional rights??)Who needs Bill Simmons, John Clayton, or Paul
Lukas when yo ucan't comment on them (Where did my comment go?)So
crack open a Bud Light and delete this comment, ESPN comment-deleter
guy.

StlDZ (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

You're not with me, Norby! For shame...

Swellesley (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

This registers a bonified 9.8 on the Vengeance Scale.

Rocket20k2 (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

TONY DUNGY IS BLACK!!! I AM SCOOP JACKSON AND I APPROVED THIS MESSAGE

andyburnham (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

no we're in communist china...no wait ESPN isn't allowed there

kodijack (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

They introduce commenting on the weakest article Bill Simmons has
written in the past six months? Defies logic.

Aztec00pimp (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

this is too hilarious! and if wasnt america then there would be a
"waking up drunk next to a hooker face" mention somewhere

thisismyrealid (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

I saw the best comments of my generation, destroyed by censoring
madness hysteria.

bddudley77 (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

Oh God, Carl Monday got to the Comments!

lukereport (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy
Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy
Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy
Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy
Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy
Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy
Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy
Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy
Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy
Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy
Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy
Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy
Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy
Kimmel!!! I know Jimmy Kimmel!!!

cjzimm (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

I think I just saw the Sportsgal with Shawn Kemp and Patrick Ewing.

zac_pittman24 (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

PLEASE DON'T EUTHANIZE MY COMMENT!!! NOOOOOO!!!!!

Slash104544 (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

Yes Bill- I'm sure that what every NBA player wants is some pasty
middle aged jock sniffer to hang out with...sounds like you are dying
to be part of Brain Scalabrine's man-tourage...

scarhelton9 (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

Thirty-nine years after Martin Luther King Jr. imagined the
Promised Land, two black NFL coaches got there.You self-promoting
pieces of crap. You turned Rev. King's dream into a selling point. Go
to hell.

GopherTutor (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

Anybody who thinks Sportsgal is taking one end of a Fred Smoot
doubledong this week is sorely mistaken.She's taking both ends.

Smokey_Cloud (2/1/2007 at 4:45 PM) Report Ignore

hold me, thrill me, kiss me, kill me.

Darth_Moridin (2/1/2007 at 4:46 PM) Report Ignore

Step 1: Log on to converstation.Step 2: Put your junk in the
comment box.Step 3: WWL sez #### off and deletes everything.

wsn5 (2/1/2007 at 4:46 PM) Report Ignore

What will happen when ESPN drops the conversation from ESPN conversation?

hurleybird2006 (2/1/2007 at 4:46 PM) Report Ignore

So is this where I go to get my $5 cafeteria voucher?

Realjiggy99 (2/1/2007 at 4:46 PM) Report Ignore

They can delete the comments... but try deleting images of
Salisbury Jr. from those women's eyes ESPN!!!

dwe15 (2/1/2007 at 4:46 PM) Report Ignore

Sweet big Beautiful Boss Barbaro. Rainbows And lilacs. angels
Crying& fields of Hay. Inspirations; Learning to Hope. taught to
Dream.

BrentS007 (2/1/2007 at 4:46 PM) Report Ignore

bill simmons doesn't care about blaclk people

flyinbrian37 (2/1/2007 at 4:46 PM) Report Ignore

WATCHING BRIAN SCALABRINE IS LIKE HAVING SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME
YOU LOOK AT HIM AND HE KIND OF LOOKS HE COULD WORK THEN ITS OVER IN
UNDER A MINUTE

erikatsu (2/1/2007 at 4:46 PM) Report Ignore

####

CursedClevelander (2/1/2007 at 4:46 PM) Report Ignore

Bill Simmons doesn't want us to know that he wasn't in South
Beach; he was at a dual meet in Minnetonka, giving 26 kids the herpes.

GimelMartinez1976 (2/1/2007 at 4:46 PM) Edit Delete Report

"I am now terrified to go to strip joints after a friend told me
he got a lap dance from a stripper who had the same name as his baby
daughter" — is reason #456 of my list of "Why I'm Glad I Only Had
Boys".

prinzisdead4 (2/1/2007 at 4:47 PM) Report Ignore

ESPN Comment Deleter: Finishing what Hurricane Norby started.

branstje (2/1/2007 at 4:47 PM) Report Ignore

I am having the time of my Life!

ckf619 (2/1/2007 at 4:47 PM) Report Ignore

...

erikatsu (2/1/2007 at 4:47 PM) Report Ignore

B-O-O-B-S

mustacherides50cents (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
anyone wanna ride?

Huded56 (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
all right well if you'll excuse me for a moment I have to go vomit up my soul

wingrum (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
bill is the man

chrismann1978 (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
Harold Reynolds died for Salisbury's sins.

lukereport (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S B-0-0-B-S and T-1-T-S

44inarow (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
Laser-rocket-deletion, eh?

PS3121 (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
Ron Mexico has taken up high school wrestling this offseason

flyinbrian37 (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!Attica! Attica!

Kernel3434 (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
This would never happen if George Grand were still alive

DamnSkippyDS (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
#### those internets!

Doodyhead329 (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
I will now light my poop on fire.

yamabushiX (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
censored from 'funkyland' Im a Big man now!

mustacherides50cents (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
i've got leather

Guest (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
Wait a minute - first? That can't be right...

bpbooth (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
Welcome, to the Worldwide Deleter, in Sports.Used?

Mnkys37 (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
this is awesome

CowboySinceBirth (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

jamguest (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
Was it (the basketball) Jesus who said: Deadspinners, go ye into the WWL and preach your gospel. I like to believe it was.

Anullruhpist (2/1/2007 at 4:50 PM) Report Ignore
Run! You stupid ESPN moderators! Run!

cepitterman (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
NOT AGAIN!

astrizi (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
gone again, don't the moderators realize they can just ban people? Or did ESPN not think to add that feature. Keep up the good work deadspinners.

pgkrause99 (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
I just SHOTY my load all over the keyboard.

goathair_3 (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
ESPN really Schruted this one.

tehMick (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
Mis Juevos.Tu cara.

wgin44 (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
1) You don't have to leave the United States, but you can still go hook up with drunk chicks at the Clevlander

Rubysoccer1 (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
2300. Ned is in the area, and he's got a crutch!

thisismyrealid (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
I blame Doc Rivers for his slow action in responding to the Mooninite menace in Boston. I'm sitting here, screaming at the TV, "COME ON DOC! TAKE THOSE BOMBS OFF THE BRIDGES ALREADY!" Soon, the Celtics are down by 15, and it's too late. I whined to my Daddy about it.

wsn5 (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
This is what I imagine Deadspin summer camp to be like.

mdubs (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
stuart scott = jap eye

ra434822 (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
We're still on ESPN.com, right?

mustacherides50cents (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
too soon?

supermike20000 (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
deadspinners are a bunch of jerks... they were mean to me on deadspin! fear the KSK mafia. oh no, here they come... prepare for LITE BRITE TERROR!!!!!

LeScoopertemp (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
I am Jack's deleted comment section.

IshitBruins (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
improper hug: any hug given from behind by on-air talent to a female staff member while the on-air talent's pants are around his ankles and his erect phallus is pressed unknowingly against her back. This offense is only punishable if: the on-air talent is average to begin with or the female staff member refuses the hush money; Chris Berman and Dan Patrick are excepted from this rule.

UWML (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
can't wait for the running diary of the comments section. The ebays have never been so much fun. BALLS for PRESIDENT

irishod1 (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
Where does this stand on the unintentional comedy scale? I think we've set the new benchmark. Tell Bish.

wingrum (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
####

gormanthomas4president (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
what the fungus? where are the comments going?

yamabushiX (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
youre with me, Craig Kilbourne

awm9a (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
Free Harold Reynolds!

kancit27 (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
Gentle souls of the Underground, I respectfully request that you refrain from using this comment section in an inappropriate manner. That means no disrespectful comments about ESPN, ESPN2, ESPNU, ESPN360, etc, etc, etc. Also no disrespectful comments about any of out fabulous ESPN hosts, personalities, or analysts (except the Cold Pizza crew, I hate them). You are interfering with my plans to take over the world by showing one poker rerun after another on 50 different stations. If you do not heed my request, I WILL CRUSH YOU! -NORBY!

Funkhf6 (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
I guess we're still in America

Paganicon (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
Norby is a Seymour.

whygavs (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
THEY CAN TAKE OUR COMMENTING PRIVLIGES BUT THEY'LL NEVER TAKE OUR E-BAYS!!!

scarhelton9 (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
Welcome to Voyeur Nation, ####.

MaximumBob80 (2/1/2007 at 4:51 PM) Report Ignore
This isn't nice. If you all keep posting mean comments, we're going to see Simmons-Face.

chicago_60614 (2/1/2007 at 4:52 PM) Report Ignore
Sports gal, lemme know

bpbooth (2/1/2007 at 4:52 PM) Report Ignore
Censorship is #### LAME!

Starksfu (2/1/2007 at 4:52 PM) Report Ignore
I'm a pornographer. When my boss walks by, I turn off ESPN and switch over to "Faces Loaded."

dmgoforth (2/1/2007 at 5:00 PM) Report Ignore
AIKMAN FACE, EWING THEORY, HEY ITS MY PAL JBUG, BOSTON RED SOX, NEW YORK YANKEES PATRIOTS, HEY CELTICS FIRE DOC RIVERS I WANNA BE AN NBA GM CLIPPERS SHAUN LIVINGSTON RAJON RANDO TOMBRADYTOMBRADYTOMBRADY

mleccher (2/1/2007 at 5:00 PM) Report Ignore
I like travel articles.

bddudley77 (2/1/2007 at 5:01 PM) Report Ignore
wholly crap, promote the comment deleter already! He is working so friggin hard!

CorkyG8 (2/1/2007 at 5:01 PM) Report Ignore
I suddenly realize that I have been bambuzzled by Simmons for far too long. I will call it The Simmons Theory. It is like a fantasy baseball player that plays over his head for one or two years and then comes back down to earth. Still, the player gets drafted about 8 rounds too early every year because somebody thinks this is the year he gets back to his old ways. Think Wally Joyner. Sure he is decent, but he is never hitting 30 home runs again but you still waste a high pick hoping he will. I think my dog Rufus drafted him this year. Twenty years from now my daughter will be drafting Wally Joyner, and I will still be reading Bill Simmons.Of course if this were a real Simmons Thoery it would be about 5000 words longer.

tehMick (2/1/2007 at 5:01 PM) Report Ignore
Meh, meh, meh.Mananana.Meh, meh, Meh.Mananana.Meh, meh, meh.Mananana.Meh, meh, Meh.Mananana.

whygavs (2/1/2007 at 5:02 PM) Report Ignore
Take off, all you underground hosers, eh?

prinzisdead4 (2/1/2007 at 5:02 PM) Report Ignore
Um, Norby. Those heroes that shed their blood and lost their lives you are now lying in the soil of a friendly country. Therefore rest in peace. There is no difference between the Norby's and the Lil' Sean's where they lie side by side here in this country of ours You the mothers who sent their sons from far away countries, wipe away your tears. Your sons are now lying in our bosom and are in peace. Having lost their lives on this land they have become our sons as well.

UntouchableMonkey (2/1/2007 at 5:02 PM) Report Ignore
I love how Bill says the Bears are "just happy to be here" and anticipates hordes of Colts fans wearing AFC Champion shirts...basically saying neither team's fans care if their team wins. Only Pats fans are real fans, I guess.

smcclone (2/1/2007 at 5:03 PM) Report Ignore
And Bill Simmons is still really, really white.

Huded56 (2/1/2007 at 5:03 PM) Report Ignore
I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!

BigGreenOaklandTarp (2/1/2007 at 5:03 PM) Report Ignore
Did anyone ever find out what the gunk was on the bottom of Bill Simmons' waffle shoe soles?

Realjiggy99 (2/1/2007 at 5:03 PM) Report Ignore
They should have cross-branded all of Simmons' articles with the ESPN Travel. ITS CALLED SYNERGY NORBY. ITS KIND OF A BIG DEAL.

sagerbombs (2/1/2007 at 5:03 PM) Report Ignore
Wait, we're still in America? Sweet! In that case...*smokes crack**takes inappropriate cellphone picture, shows around office**bojangles**KEEPS JOB*

supermike20000 (2/1/2007 at 5:03 PM) Report Ignore
i like these comments better than that OTHER site! these go away after a few minutes, erasing their memory. unlike that OTHER site!

awm9a (2/1/2007 at 5:03 PM) Report Ignore
STEVEN A SMITH NEEDS HIS CHEESE DOODLES RIGHT NOW!!!

GwynnsTummy (2/1/2007 at 5:03 PM) Report Ignore
Every time you delete, it's gonna get worse.

Str8CashHomies (2/1/2007 at 5:03 PM) Report Ignore
Hey Starter Wife, I was too embarrassed to ask you this in class, but do you wanna go on a date some time?

Str8CashHomies (2/1/2007 at 5:03 PM) Report Ignore
Hey Starter Wife, I was too embarrassed to ask you this in class, but do you wanna go on a date some time?

BrentS007 (2/1/2007 at 5:04 PM) Report Ignore
CHRIS BERMAN PRESIDENT OF DEADSPIN SHOTY BABY!!!!!!!!!

vtpersh (2/1/2007 at 5:04 PM) Report Ignore
Move away from the blue carpet!

kancit27 (2/1/2007 at 5:04 PM) Report Ignore
Thanks, Bill! Because your intern goons are deleting comments my comments made it onto Deadspin for the first time. Okay, so I haven't ever applied to be a commentator there, but I hear they are very, very selective. But, hey you got me on. You are the balls! VIVA LA tWWL!

danamran (2/1/2007 at 5:04 PM) Report Ignore
is mr. scotts eye hypnotic?

felton424 (2/1/2007 at 5:04 PM) Report Ignore
BULLS*T THE BEARS ARE HAPPY TO JUST BE THERE- THATS SOMETHING THAT C8CK SLOBBBERER SKIP BAYLESS WOULD SAY- DA BEARS!

arkbear (2/1/2007 at 5:04 PM) Report Ignore
Taps the mike......This thing still on?

Funkhf6 (2/1/2007 at 5:04 PM) Report Ignore
Yes it's back, this is better than working unless your job is comment deleter.

whygavs (2/1/2007 at 5:04 PM) Report Ignore
First we crash the message boards, then we get the khakis, THEN we get the chicks.

IshitBruins (2/1/2007 at 5:05 PM) Report Ignore
I'm glad to see everyone is over here doing that thing.

thisismyrealid (2/1/2007 at 5:05 PM) Report Ignore
why does everybody on the japan sofball team look like a. dragon from tecmo world wrestling

Peakdetector (2/1/2007 at 5:05 PM) Report Ignore
You people are all behaving like a bunch of Harold Reynolds at a Boston Market.

supermike20000 (2/1/2007 at 5:05 PM) Report Ignore
why do you keep punching yourself? why do you keep punching yourself?

BrentS007 (2/1/2007 at 5:05 PM) Report Ignore
Rainbow Bridge: Barbaro crossed there..Meet with God..He is a beautiful rainbow..A horse who can fly. My Sentimental Friends. My Love, Dee Mirich Dee Mirich, 40; Merrillville, IN, U.S.A.posted on 2007-02-01 10:32:07

mleccher (2/1/2007 at 5:05 PM) Report Ignore
Bill hasn't heard anyone pick the Bears because he hasn't talked to a certain NFL analyst. Sean picked the Bears. It's on a video in his cell phone. Take a peek.

bizzo5000 (2/1/2007 at 5:05 PM) Report Ignore
I'm just typing this to see how long it will last. O/U: 10 Mins

CowboySinceBirth (2/1/2007 at 5:05 PM) Report Ignore
NORBY!

BrentS007 (2/1/2007 at 5:05 PM) Report Ignore
THANKS DANNYG

zac_pittman24 (2/1/2007 at 5:05 PM) Report Ignore
These comments escalated quickly...I mean they really got out of hand!

danamran (2/1/2007 at 5:05 PM) Report Ignore
let me in rob!!!! norby are you listening?

mustacherides50cents (2/1/2007 at 5:05 PM) Report Ignore
i wish i could be cool like sports guy. while you're there, tell scoop and stu that the two head coaches are black...i bet they didn't know...although i bet stu thought it was just one black coach and said there were two...you know, since he can't see straight

gvizz (2/1/2007 at 5:05 PM) Report Ignore
#### these comments are exactly like Mememto. Woahhhhhhhh.....

shoelessjoshua (2/1/2007 at 5:06 PM) Report Ignore
You're with me Leather!!!

CowboySinceBirth (2/1/2007 at 5:06 PM) Report Ignore
Stuart Scott to Michelle Beisner: "Lemme Know"

GwynnsTummy (2/1/2007 at 5:06 PM) Report Ignore
Is Around The Horn available for viewing on Salisbury's phone?

CadwalladerU (2/1/2007 at 5:06 PM) Report Ignore
CadwalladerU got some Deadspin love! Made it into the first screen grab...twice-thanks to the shoutout from gophertutor!

CowboySinceBirth (2/1/2007 at 5:06 PM) Report Ignore
VIVA LA REVOLUTION!

theokone (2/1/2007 at 5:06 PM) Report Ignore
Don't you hate blogs? Norby does.

mustacherides50cents (2/1/2007 at 5:06 PM) Report Ignore
know what sports gal said to me this morning?...ladies

Booya7726 (2/1/2007 at 5:06 PM) Report Ignore
I'm a big Simmons guy, and was wondering if the fellow diehards couldhelp the cause. My wife, Stacie is in the running for the Best ####Sports Show "Dream Girl" Contest. I'm seeing if you guys can helpharness the greatness that is power of Simmons readers... She is knownin San Antonio as "Stacie the Sports Chick". She is a co-host on theSports Station here in San Antonio every Wednesday. Her SportsKnowledge is up there with Isiah's GM's skills, but it's makes forsome pretty funny radio. Anyways, It would be huge if you guys couldpost something on the site about voting for her. If she wins she getfeatured on BDSSP, and perhaps she can work in a "Karate Kid" or"90210" reference. Or just a boatload of signed Calendars, which couldbe sold on ebay for a whopping $3.99. AFFIRMED.

ErinAndrewsOvaries (2/1/2007 at 5:07 PM) Report Ignore
Who's whiter Stu or Jay Harris?

BrentS007 (2/1/2007 at 5:07 PM) Report Ignore
GET AWAY FROM ME DEE MIRICH!!!!!!!!!!

slimc9999 (2/1/2007 at 5:07 PM) Report Ignore
asdfasdf

s31g24 (2/1/2007 at 5:07 PM) Report Ignore
HUGH!!!!!!! YOURE WITH ME LEATHER!!!!!!!!! GROW HOOF GROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!CHEESEY DOODLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DoubleDutySmooty (2/1/2007 at 5:07 PM) Report Ignore
The weight of Simmons' 10,000 words crushes #### commenters.

bizzo5000 (2/1/2007 at 5:07 PM) Report Ignore
All Your Comment Are Belong To Us!

UntouchableMonkey (2/1/2007 at 5:07 PM) Report Ignore
Cowboy: I don't know for sure, but Stacey's #### were bright green a couple nights back and blue last week.

rsteinfeld (2/1/2007 at 5:07 PM) Report Ignore
ESPN I NEED HELP: URGENT: SCOTT VAN PELT IS LEAVING INAPPROPRIATE MESSAGES ON MY VOICEMAIL I NEED TO JEW OVER THE DETAILS A BIT BUT I AM VERY AFRAID

prinzisdead4 (2/1/2007 at 5:07 PM) Report Ignore
Reche Caldwell is very surprised about the day's events.

CowboySinceBirth (2/1/2007 at 5:07 PM) Report Ignore
Scott Van Pelt = tool hasn't gotten laid in years

efelde84 (2/1/2007 at 5:07 PM) Report Ignore
Will Leitch has emo bangs.

danamran (2/1/2007 at 5:07 PM) Report Ignore
we are who you thought we were!!!

mustacherides50cents (2/1/2007 at 5:08 PM) Report Ignore
'sup? wanna take a look at this sweet new espnmobile pic i got from someone named lil-sean? i thought i was gonna choke on my jewing gum...i mean- chewing gum

Drinkie10 (2/1/2007 at 5:08 PM) Report Ignore
Where's Jim Caple?I could really use one of his electrifyingly funny Page2 articles that in no way point out last week's beateen down jokes with a stupid cartoon and all-around unfunny sarcasm. No, no really....he's a funny guy.

ThatGuy58 (2/1/2007 at 5:08 PM) Report Ignore
Why are the comments constantly getting deleted? Someone at ESPN needs a hug. Not you Sean.

GoIndySports (2/1/2007 at 5:08 PM) Report Ignore
http://sonsofkc.blogspot.com

theokone (2/1/2007 at 5:08 PM) Report Ignore
And to think everyone was jealous when you told them you got an internship at ESPN.Simmons likes his coffee black. The opposite of how he likes his people.

dwschulman (2/1/2007 at 5:08 PM) Report Ignore
Anybody looking for missing comments can go here

buttzero (2/1/2007 at 5:08 PM) Report Ignore
8==========D~~~~~~~~~ )-:

ErinAndrewsOvaries (2/1/2007 at 5:09 PM) Report Ignore
Where did they bury Max Kellerman? He was annoying but he rocked a mean dirt 'stache

aloysiusFromDS (2/1/2007 at 5:09 PM) Report Ignore
RED SOX DIDN'T MAKE THE POSTSEASON IN 2006I'M JUST SAYIN

efelde84 (2/1/2007 at 5:09 PM) Report Ignore
STEP AWAY FROM MY CHEESE DOODLES, BILL SIMMONS- STEPHEN A. SMITH

CowboySinceBirth (2/1/2007 at 5:09 PM) Report Ignore
Can we please take the work of Erin Andrews seriously and stop thinking she got her job because of her spectacular assets?

BrentS007 (2/1/2007 at 5:09 PM) Report Ignore
MARRIOTTI HAS MAD #### GLASSES

Large2006 (2/1/2007 at 5:09 PM) Report Ignore
How pathetic are you or maybe financially compared to Bill how broke are you or sexually you probably have not had the amount of sportswomen your whole life that Bill has had just in the past year.

scipioafricanus74 (2/1/2007 at 5:09 PM) Report Ignore
I am a sick man. ... I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. Ibelieve my liver is diseased.

CorkyG8 (2/1/2007 at 5:09 PM) Report Ignore
Comment Deleter, I apologize to you if I don't seem real eager to jump into a forced awkward intimate situation that people like to call COMMENTING. I don't like the feeling. You're sitting there, you're wondering do I have food on my face, am I funny, am I typing too much, are they typing enough, am I interested I'm not really interested, should I play like I'm interested but I'm not that interested but I think BILL SIMMONS might be interested but do I want to be interested but now he's not interested? So all of the sudden I'm getting, I'm starting to get interested... And when am I supposed to kiss his fanny? Do I have to wait for the door cause then it's awkward, it's like well goodnight. Do you do like that a$-out hug? Where you like, you hug each other like this and your a$ sticks out cause you're trying not to get too close or do you just go right in and kiss him on the fanny or don't kiss the fanny at all? It's very difficult trying to read the situation. And all the while you're just really wondering are we gonna get hopped up enough to make some bad decisions? Perhaps play a little game called "just the poop joke". Just for a second, just to see how it feels. Or, ouch, ouch I've been deleted

danamran (2/1/2007 at 5:09 PM) Report Ignore
beautiful road to pasture. green sky reflecting grass. commenting idea wonderful. affirmed.

Smokey_Cloud (2/1/2007 at 5:09 PM) Report Ignore
show me where on the doll Salsbury touched you?

ThatGuy58 (2/1/2007 at 5:10 PM) Report Ignore
Does Easterbrook think you comment people are only in it for the money?

psignorelli (2/1/2007 at 5:10 PM) Report Ignore
this is great. its like some vicarious way to become one of the elite DS commentators for those of us who have thus far been deemed unworthy. mr leitch, can we get a permanent link to this page on the site? ;)

Dan_Daoust (2/1/2007 at 5:10 PM) Report Ignore
DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN DEADSPIN

thisismyrealid (2/1/2007 at 5:10 PM) Report Ignore
Yup, these are my commenters.

tehMick (2/1/2007 at 5:10 PM) Report Ignore
Guy #1: Deadspin reference.Guy #2: Ha. Ha. Another Deadspin reference.

CowboySinceBirth (2/1/2007 at 5:10 PM) Report Ignore
Erin Andrews - bastion of knowledgable sports reporting - no way she got hired because of her prodigious spectacular flotation devices

Huded56 (2/1/2007 at 5:10 PM) Report Ignore
rerish nooo

Dat_Azz (2/1/2007 at 5:10 PM) Report Ignore
Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with keyboards. Whose gonna do it? You? You, Bill Simmons? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Tom Brady, and you curse the Colts. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Brady's loss, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at Clevelander parties, you want me on the ebays, you need me on the ebays. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you start a blog, and allow posts. Either way, I don't give a #### what you think you are entitled to.

SPreest (2/1/2007 at 5:10 PM) Report Ignore
EE-yes-####-yen

Ransypants (2/1/2007 at 5:10 PM) Report Ignore
When they say meet me at "The Rocket" in Montreal we end up up in a graveyard. Too soon?

jaykva (2/1/2007 at 5:10 PM) Report Ignore
QUITE FRANKLY, When ESPN2 follows STEPHEN A. SMITH out the screen door, will Page 2 PLEASE FOLLOW

CadwalladerU (2/1/2007 at 5:10 PM) Report Ignore
You're with me psignorelli

theokone (2/1/2007 at 5:11 PM) Report Ignore
Lil Sean bojangled all over Berman's face, right?

yamabushiX (2/1/2007 at 5:11 PM) Report Ignore
First you get the Comments, then you get money, then you get the Power

nashawatykc (2/1/2007 at 5:11 PM) Report Ignore
"Umm, Mr. Iger, that 'Conversation' idea you thought up for ESPN.com? Not so much."

flyinbrian37 (2/1/2007 at 5:11 PM) Report Ignore
FarWeve been travelling farWithout a homeBut not without a starFreeOnly want to be freeWe huddle closeHang on to a dreamOn the boats and on the planesTheyre coming to americaNever looking back againTheyre coming to americaHome, dont it seem so far awayOh, were travelling light todayIn the eye of the stormIn the eye of the stormHome, to a new and a shiny placeMake our bed, and well say graceFreedoms light burning warmFreedoms light burning warmEverywhere around the worldTheyre coming to americaEvery time that flags unfurledTheyre coming to americaGot a dream to take them thereTheyre coming to americaGot a dream theyve come to shareTheyre coming to americaTheyre coming to americaTheyre coming to americaTheyre coming to americaTheyre coming to americaToday, today, today, today, todayMy country tis of thee(today)Sweet land of liberty(today)Of thee I sing(today)Of thee I sing(today)

rsteinfeld (2/1/2007 at 5:11 PM) Report Ignore
I am the balls. Bill Simmons is not. Fo shizzle!

DoubleDutySmooty (2/1/2007 at 5:11 PM) Report Ignore
Mr. Simmons, We will need a 45,000+ word article on the failed trade of Helton to the Red Sox by Monday morning. AND NO FILLER WITH "RED DAWN" REFERENCES. THE WWE IS OKAY. Thank you, the mgmt.

buttzero (2/1/2007 at 5:11 PM) Report Ignore
Ever heard of goatse?

GoIndySports (2/1/2007 at 5:12 PM) Report Ignore
http://www.sonsofkc.blogspot.comInteractive sports blog where people don't delete your comments.

BrentS007 (2/1/2007 at 5:12 PM) Report Ignore
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psignorelli (2/1/2007 at 5:12 PM) Report Ignore
the downside to this is that since i took over some dude's fantasy baseball team 2 years ago i have to use his first initial and last name as my handle. #### my trophy and not wanting to start a new winless account!

CowboySinceBirth (2/1/2007 at 5:12 PM) Report Ignore
How does Stuart Scott see out of his lazy glass eye?

CursedClevelander (2/1/2007 at 5:12 PM) Report Ignore
You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Jew.

GoIndySports (2/1/2007 at 5:12 PM) Report Ignore
http://www.sonsofkc.blogspot.com Interactive sports blog where people don't delete your comments.

LeScoopertemp (2/1/2007 at 5:12 PM) Report Ignore
In the spirit of dropping the Deuce, shouldn't ESPN Conversation also just be called ESPN?

whygavs (2/1/2007 at 5:12 PM) Report Ignore
Between Harold Reynolds and Sean Salisbury, I think ESPN could use a visit from the Sexual Harassment Panda.

wobblywolf (2/1/2007 at 5:13 PM) Report Ignore
Would it be too late to get my refund on espn.inside and invest in a YTML t-shirt

ObnoxiousHotDog (2/1/2007 at 5:13 PM) Report Ignore
Article title: "We're still in America, right?"What's going on: Comments being deleted...Wow this is both INSTANT HISTORY and UNINTENTIONAL COMEDY!!!

jtgolden21 (2/1/2007 at 5:13 PM) Report Ignore
How's it hoofin'?

CowboySinceBirth (2/1/2007 at 5:13 PM) Report Ignore
Where can I find ESPN Hollywood on my local listings? What about Teammates?

theokone (2/1/2007 at 5:13 PM) Report Ignore
Does Stu Scott ever replace his glass eye with a cheese doodle? Just to see the look on Stephen A's face?

thesixjilliandollarwoman (2/1/2007 at 5:13 PM) Edit Delete Report
Any chance the comment deleter goes home at 5 p.m.?

GilbertArenasonIce (2/1/2007 at 5:13 PM) Report Ignore
The John Clayton Church is waiting for your membership, Bill.

efelde84 (2/1/2007 at 5:13 PM) Report Ignore
I just stopped in to let you know I still dream about you, and miss you big boss boy. We will meet one day in the great beyond, and consumate our long relationship at long last. Kisses and hugs from all the little kittens and me!!!!- Dee Mirich, 40; Merrillville, IN, U.S.A.

thisismyrealid (2/1/2007 at 5:13 PM) Report Ignore
I think I'm going back to Deadspin. I can't take another 13,000 words about Bill Simmons drinking a diet soda and wandering around Radio Row all afternoon, making fun of people more talented and famous than he is. Get a real job, hippie.

MorneauforFour (2/1/2007 at 5:13 PM) Report Ignore
To WWL female staff members - when Salisury showed you saw lil' Sean, did he have his junk shaved like a X-Mas tree? Maybe five of you get that one.

Lizabelle9 (2/1/2007 at 5:14 PM) Report Ignore
####

Realjiggy99 (2/1/2007 at 5:14 PM) Report Ignore
I'm just like ESPN! Just after lunch we both dropped a deuce!!

tehMick (2/1/2007 at 5:14 PM) Report Ignore
CursedClevelander (2/1/2007 at 5:12 PM) Report Ignore You know what I haven't had in a while? Big League Jew.———————————-CursedClevelander said; "Chew."

letsplaytummysticks (2/1/2007 at 5:14 PM) Report Ignore
How can you write a column with that big salad fork sticking out of your back?

CowboySinceBirth (2/1/2007 at 5:14 PM) Report Ignore
Is there still time to claim my free bag of potato chips from the company ca