Ethan Albright, Finally Vindicated

Leitch — Fri, 25 Jan 2008 13:35:03 EST

Remember Ethan Albright? The Redskins long snapper who had the worst rating in all of Madden 2007 and was immortalized in The Phat Phree's famous mock letter to John Madden? Well, his rating won't be so low next year: He's going to the Pro Bowl.

Good for him; he deserves it, we guess, if just for having such a low rating. To remind, here's our favorite excerpt from "Albright"'s angry letter to Madden:

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever... except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom. Score one for Red Beard.

Pro Bowl, dude: Score another for Red Beard.

Albright Added To Pro Bowl [Redskins Insider]
Ethan Albright Strikes Back [The Phat Phree]

Ethan Albright Is In Fact Able To Walk Upright

Leitch — Fri, 13 Oct 2006 12:00:40 EDT

As Madden 07 obsessives know, Washington Redskins lineman and ginger kid Ethan Albright is the lowest-rated player in the game, with a rating that barely gives him enough aptitude to stand up and walk in something resembling a straight line. We have wondered if Albright knows about this, or cares, and even though we don't have an answer to that, The Phat Phree has a hilarious imaginary letter from Albright to John Madden himself.

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever... except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Michaels or something. Boom. Score one for Red Beard.

It's really a pretty amazing read.

Ethan Albright Strikes Back [The Phat Phree]

(UPDATE: We had forgotten about this, but apparently Albright, the real one, has addressed his low rating.)

Deadspin: ethan albright

Ethan Albright, Finally Vindicated

Ethan Albright Is In Fact Able To Walk Upright