Image via Euro 2008 Girls. Hopefully it can help turn things around.

• Both teams have had decent chances early in the half, but nothing on net.

• Oh my god, it appears that Luca Toni has ruptured his Achilles tendon!

• Nope, he's OK.

• Another cross in to Toni, but he's unable to get anything to it, that's a shame. And yes, I am now openly biased, as if I hadn't been before.

• Cassano had openings but he led Ambrosini about ten yards too far, out for a goal kick.

• Torres comes right back down the pitch with great pace, and once again he's been unable to control it when confronted. He needs somebody in there to help distribute. Like say, Xabi and Cesc.

• Luis Aragonés might be having a stroke, somebody should really check on him.

• Once again the Spanish side has gotten the ball in good position with multiple attackers only to find themselves out manned by a small army of white shirts.

• Torres goes for the cross instead of making an effort at goal but it's broken up with ease.

• The Italians go to the bench first with Camoranesi coming on.

• David Silva has a go from distance after a broken corner. It landed somewhere in the first dozen rows.

• Finally Iniesta is called back to the bench in favor of Cazorla. And hey, a double! Xavi is off for Fabregas!

• Oh my, a massive scramble in front of the Spanish net. Casillas was off his line but he was able to recover with a great save on Camoranesi's first touch.

• Camoranesi drew two fouls in one minute without flopping once. Impressive.

• Mother fucking Luca Toni. Once again he drops to ground at the slightest hint of a breeze and the ref couldn't be quicker to blow...the whistle that is.

• David Villa's free kick caught a shoulder and a head on the wall, deflecting it just over the goal and onto the netting.

• Toni gets another shot at a header near the goal but it's the same result as always. Maybe they should try putting it on his foot.

• I just heard the name "Gattuso" and got a bit ill.

• Oh hell, no. Villa is yellowed for flopping in the box. Where has that call been on Twinkle Toes Toni?

• The only way Italy could be enjoyable is if they were in a ring with Andre Berto.

• Cassano is off for Di Natale.

• That Italian fist-full-of-jersey maneuver isn't very subtle, yet the Spaniards press forward.

• Luca Toni grew a mustache because he was running out of reasons for people to hate him.

• Ah crap! Buffon bobbled a shot by Senna only for it to bounce harmlessly off the post and back into his hands.

• Fortunately now the Italians are stealing crosses from one another, danger averted for Spain.

• Torres is done for the day, Guiza has taken his place.

• Another great opportunity for created by Villa for Spain, but Guiza inexplicably used his forearms to control the ball.

• Just a few minutes left before stoppage time, and then extra time. [sigh] And then penalties.

• Luca Toni is down and screaming on another quality tackle by Puyol, and the referee rushes over to perform emergency mouth-to-cock.

• Ugh. Extra time. New thread coming up shortly.

We're live on ABC's glorious HD, and the Dutch are looking spry in their orange shorts. Guus has his Russian squad peaking at the right time to challenge his home nation, but few believe that the Ruskies can keep pace with the Dutch. The game should be getting underway in a few minutes, so if you'll excuse me I'm going to finish my Indian carryout and help myself to the first beer of the day.

• Van Persie and Robben start out on the bench, but they should see the field before this one is over.

• I understand that it's relevant and all, but I really wish they'd stop talking about dead babies, it's bringing everybody down.

• Yuri Zhirkov just had the first good chance of the match off of a free kick, but van der Sar came up big in net once again. The subsequent corner is dealt with and the Dutch take the ball back.

• The Russians storm right back down and get a clean header off of a cross that goes over the bar. Eight minutes in and the Russians look feisty.

• Another free kick for the Russians, but it had a trajectory similar to that of the Mir.

• The first stoppage of the game comes on an injury to Boulahrouz, he's off for now, but he should return shortly.

• In case anyone was wondering, I hate Dirk Kuyt. Just thought I'd clear that up.

• The match has been fairly free-flowing, but quality opportunities have been hard to come by in the first 20 minutes. I get the feeling that this will open up with time like a nice Barolo.

• Boulahrouz is back and now he's doing the fouling. Zyryanov has a free kick in a promising area, but he's unable to challenge the Manchester goalie.

• The Dutch have had plenty of success linking up on long balls, but they haven't done much with them. Engelaar couldn't keep his attempt on target following a corner.

• Van Der Vaart just deposited a set piece in front of the far post, but Ruud was a half-step shy of converting an easy one. The Dutch have maintained possession and they're finally starting to apply the pressure.

• And just like that the Ruskies are flying down on the counter attack. Arshavin put a beautiful move on the ball and van der Sar was fortunate to get a finger tip on the ball.

• And now the Kolodin is firing on goal at will, one shot forced the van der Sar to make another spectacular save. Not much play going on in the midfield right now.

• It's become impossible to keep up on all the action right now, the attacks are coming that frequently. Ruud put a shot on target from close range, but he was unable to avoid the keeper.

• Sneijder's free kick from the center of the pitch was deflected harmlessly for a free kick. Everything Sneijder touches today has suffered from a similar fate.

• De Jong with a great opportunity, but the header was wide of target.

• There are just a few minutes remaining in the half, and despite plenty of chances things remain scoreless.

• van der Vaart received a pass in the center of the area and he fired the shot directly at Akinfeev in net. That's a ball you have to put in the corner of the net. Injury time approaches.

• That's the half, I'll be back shortly with a fresh post up top.