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19 Fake Craft Beers Inspired By The Simpsons, Ranked

The craft beer industry is facing two significant problems. First off, they’re running out of names for their artisanal ales. Secondly, it’s an industry with a troubling dearth of gratuitous Simpsons references (full credit to Evil Genius for theirs). Combine these two predicaments, and you have one perfectly… »8/19/15 1:06pm8/19/15 1:06pm

Movies About Male Strippers, Ranked

If there’s one thing that makes me sad for heterosexual men, it’s that so many of them haven’t seen Magic Mike. They assumed they’d be in for nonstop tight close-ups of Spandex-packaged junk, exposure to unrealistically chiseled and waxed male bodies, and barely plotted sexploitation aimed at the gaze of those who are… »7/07/15 4:45pm7/07/15 4:45pm

12 IPAs For People Who Hate IPAs

As we all know, stouts are the best beers. But with temperatures rising, you may find that your local breweries have fewer on tap, your local liquor stores have fewer in stock, and your loved ones may look at you a little funny when, after mowing the lawn in triple-digit temperatures, you try to cool yourself down by… »6/09/15 5:25pm6/09/15 5:25pm

Sounds On My Newborn Son’s Sleep-Therapy Machine, Ranked

My wife recently gave birth to a healthy baby boy that we named Ellis. He is a prodigious eater and likes a warm bath. (We have experimented both with a white foam tub and a mesh blue one that resembles a patio chair. I prefer the latter on all counts with the exception of its aquatic-themed design, which is insulting… »5/05/15 11:28am5/05/15 11:28am

Watermelon-Eating Techniques Of Large Animals, Ranked

Feeding whole watermelons to large animals and uploading the resulting videos to YouTube is a thing that people do, and it is one of the best uses of the internet. It’s pretty exciting to watch these beasts lay waste to a 10-pound piece of fruit like it’s a grape or something. So here are some videos of large animals… »4/30/15 5:30pm4/30/15 5:30pm

Train Horns That Keep Me And My Wife Awake At Night, Ranked

My wife and I recently moved to a house in the Dunbar/Spring neighborhood of Tucson, Ariz. Because we had never visited the house in the middle of the night, we didn't realize quite how loud the freight-train horns were. We have adjusted, in part with the help of earplugs. (To spoil another potential list, let me… »2/16/15 12:49pm2/16/15 12:49pm

46 Times Vox Totally Fucked Up A Story

If you work in the media, you're going to get things wrong. Accuracy and timeliness are in conflict, and when you're dealing with vast amounts of information, accuracy will sometimes suffer. No one is happy about this, but it's how it is, and this is the tradeoff you implicitly accept when reading news. If you are… »12/30/14 2:52pm12/30/14 2:52pm

Times Of Day To Have Some Damn Peace And Quiet Around Here, Ranked

When you are a Sad Dad, one of the things you spend the most time pining for—after, like, an actual grown-up date with your spouse, a window of more than five minutes in which to take a shower, and relief from the constant background awareness of your own bottomless inadequacy—is some damn peace and quiet. "Can we… »11/17/14 3:59pm11/17/14 3:59pm

DJ Drama's Gangsta Grillz Mixtapes, Ranked

DJ Drama is arguably the most prolific and important DJ of the Golden Mixtape Era, which started roughly a decade ago and is still going strong—among rap heavyweights, only DJ Khaled comes close. The Philadelphia native somehow made himself the face of underground Southern hip-hop, proving instrumental in the rise… »11/12/14 10:23am11/12/14 10:23am