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Facebook Is All Sad Because No One Wants To Share With Them Anymore

You’re bored, so you stagger out onto a virtual stage under a searingly bright virtual spotlight, look out at your virtual audience, and see an alienating stew of every social group you’ve ever belonged to, with plenty of friends’ dads, former authority figures, ex-enemies, fleeting acquaintances, and androids stirred…

UPDATE: Facebook User, Asif, Regains Friendship With Scorned Ex-Best Friend, Mudasir

Exactly a month ago to the day, our fragile world was rocked when a Facebook user from the Gujranwala District in Pakistan announced that he was severing ties with his then-former best friend Mudasir in favor of new best friend Salman. Today, however, people from all corners of the globe can breathe easy—Asif and…

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Wait, Did Clowntroll Blogger Chuck Johnson Shit On The Floor One Time?

If you've been online this week, you may have heard of Charles "Chuck" C. Johnson, an odious conservative blogger who has gained some fame by rolling around in the shit left in the wake of last month's Rolling Stone piece, which told the story of a University of Virginia student who claimed she was raped by seven men…