It's kind of weird:
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering dogs, douche schools, Coke, and more.
You lathered up a huge list of nominees, and we've shaved them down to find the top five. Now it's time to find the winner.
For the first time in his career, Mark Sanchez has been challenged for the starting job. He responded by growing a horseshoe mustache. It is intense.
A newly published study out of the University of New South Wales concludes that men and women perceive men with facial hair to be more attractive and better father-material than clean-shaven ones. WHO'S THE DISAPPOINTMENT NOW, MOTHER?
Sometime in late January, Dirk Nowitzki shaved. That would be the last time, at least until the disappointing Mavericks clawed their way back to a .500 record. Well, after last night's overtime victory against the Clippers, featuring a season-high 33 from Dirk, Dallas is 35-36. The beard? It is out of control.
We saw nascent stirrings of this on photo day, but it looks like Joba Chamberlain's mustache is officially going to be a thing.
This is it. The very least amount of hair a man can be covered in and still considered to have a mustache and the very most amount of hair a man can be covered in and still be counted among those walking upright and having moved on from dwelling in caves.
Last night's 14-13 Angels win over Boston in extras was a testament to agricultural arson, but some viewers seemed preoccupied with the status of Howie Kendrick's mustache.
Jayson Werth's beard has been the talk of Phillies spring training. Because this is clearly more important than a lack of a bullpen, there's already an official site for photoshops. [Jayson Werth Beards]