You guys wouldn't vote for a man who was found drinking with a hospital bracelet on? Even though he had to go to said hospital for alcohol poisoning? This is a worse fucking travesty than Barbaro missing the DSHOF his first three tries. #duan#failgate
I was going to vote for Vest, but then a funny thing happened. My buddies came over and told me to take a shot of their "special" Jagermeister. I was like: guys, I gotta vote for Vest. They said "What are you, a pussy?" Not wanting to be called a pussy (because there might have been ladies present, but I don't know, because even though it was 10 a.m. I was still wasted), I did the shot. It was by far the most vile thing I have ever tasted. There was Jager in there somewhere, but plenty else. They started laughing hysterically. "Dude, you just drank pee!" they said. I could feel my stomach turn. I said come on, there's no way. They said yep -- they were trying to mix vodka and Jager and they were doing it in a big trough when they turned to see some hot girls walking by. They started to make conversation and, amazingly, got shot down. When they turned back around, their buddy Bear was peeing, but he was so drunk half of it was going into the trough. They told him to stop, but the damage had been done. For some reason, they thought that I should be the one to take the shot that would spill "the secret" — instead it just spilled my stomach, as I puked out everything, instantly, all over them. They still thought it was funny, but then I was like: "Guys, that's no way to behave at work."
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Please send my winnings to:
123 Pizza Avenue
Suite Sausage & Meatballs
Brooklyn, NY 11201 #failgate
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/looks for backup from Becky and Katni #failgate
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We can only assume he drank it warm, with a human hair floating in it.
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Then I voted for Vest.
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just like life, because we all die. #finalfailgate
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Also fun to do in an elevator full of busy executives in a tall office building. #finalfailgate
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