I was at the Lions-Browns game last Sunday and it was a treasure trove of customizable weirdness. Unfortunately, all I had was my lousy cellphone camera and no interest in asking people to stand still for me so I could take a picture of their back. There's no explanation—especially the truth—that wouldn't make you look like a deranged loser in that situation, so my contributions are not all they could be. No regrets.

On a related note, I've noticed a trend whereby someone spends a lot of money on a jersey of their favorite player, only to later find out that this player is horrible. So in a sad attempt at vengeance/recycling, they use duct tape or markers to customize it again. It's often a form of protest against the fact that they contributed $100 to the career of someone terrible. Also, there were a surprising number of Brady Quinn jerseys on the numerous Brown fans who drove up from Toledo to Ford Field. So I put two and two together and got a lot of No. 10 jerseys with "QUEER" taped over the nameplate in our near future. It's the circle of clothing.

Anyway, on to Part V. Previous editions below.

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV

Part Buckeye, Part Brown ... All Sweatpants.
Here's my photo skills at work. That's a Dre Bly jersey with the name crossed out and "Who?" written next to it in black tape. Why not Bert Blyleven?
Again, you can't make it out, but the nameplate reads "Quarterbacks of the Century" and contains four numbers. The best part is that Boomer Esiason can just assume No. 7 is him.
No idea.
Now you've taken a perfectly good Vikings jersey and ruined it twice. [Submitted by Kent O.]
These are allegedly British Patriot fans in London—sort of like Jewish Saints fans in Tel Aviv?—but they sure have a knack for this. (And by "this" I mean looking like yobs.) [Submitted by Jessica H.]
Does this guy need smaller shoulders or more back fat? I bet cheesesteaks would help. [Submitted by Jeffrey R.]
The jersey so nice she spilled beer on it twice. [Submitted by Joe E.]
Believe it or not, this photo isn't doctored. The kid wears that black thing on his face everytime his parents make him put on that stupid jersey. A last name like Stinkbutt is not an easy thing to live with. [Submitted by Dan]
But where are The Balls? [Submitted by Mitchell C.]
How many times have we told you.... do not be That Guy. [Submitted by Jon L.]
What did I just say? [Submitted by Julia A.]
Ok, now you're just being difficult. [Submitted by Jonathan S.]
I don't care what anyone says, the Superbad references will remain relevant for decades. [Submitted by Chad H. - @ Kauffman Stadium]
I think we would have figured it out without the shirt. [Submitted by JBrad]
What do you think he said to the bachelorette party as he passed? Oh to be a fly on that inflatable penis. [Submitted by Ben D.]
No one likes a show off. [Submitted by Neil M.]
I heard Babe Ruth actually tried to put that on his jersey once, but the letters were made out of bacon so he ate them in the on-deck circle. [Submitted by John S.]
If you say so ... [Submitted by Mahalvy]
Yeah, Phil Rivers does seem like an Ike and Tina fan. Or an Ike fan, anyway. [Submitted by Mahalvy]
You know what most jerseys need? More reading! [Submitted by Luke B.]
And scene.... [Submitted by Ryan I.]

Ohio State researchers studied 113 college students who were watching the 2006 game against Michigan (when both teams were undefeated and ranked #1 and #2 in the country.) The students were asked to check in during commercial breaks and say whether they thought their favorite team would win or lose, how suspenseful the game was, and if they were having fun or not. The results showed that the group that enjoyed the game the most were the Ohio State fans who were convinced that the Buckeyes would lose the game. (They won by 3.) It seems to suggest that folks get more satisfaction out of the negative emotions that sports create, because sports fans are sick, perverted masochists.

Silvia Knobloch-Westerwick, co-author of the study and associate professor of communication at Ohio State University, explains:

"You need the negative emotions of thinking your team might lose to get you in an excited, nervous state," Knobloch-Westerwick said. "If your team wins, all that negative tension is suddenly converted to positive energy, which will put you in a euphoric state."

In other words, winning is more exciting if don't believe in your team to begin with. Also, if you expect disaster and your team always fails, then you're never disappointed! (That explains why Lions fans exist.) But the most important ramification of this study is that we now have proof that people who strut around all day long boasting that their team can never be beaten are really just obnoxious pricks.

Seriously, fuck those guys.

Don't be happy, be worried: Sports fans need dose of negative [Eureka Alert]

In this edition, a tribute to Koko the Monkey, more bad duct tape, boozehounds, straight pimpage and, as usual, lots of lovable fat guys. If you see more custom greatness out there, send the (good) pictures with the subject: "Custom Jersey." And if you missed our previous renditions of the series, here are the links.

Part I
Part II
Part III

For all the people about to leave a disparaging comment ... he's talking to you. [Submitted by Rael]
Okay, this is ridiculous. "Be alert for bats"? Unless Rico from Staten Island is about to club him from behind with a Louisville Slugger, I think he's safe. [Submitted by E. Blum @ Yankee Stadium]
Still the best Blue Jackets player of all time. [Submitted by Ben S.]
In all fairness to this guy, I'm sure he did not make this himself, but rather pulled it out of a fake can stuffed inside a 30-pack. [Submitted by Paul S.]
It's not "zero zero." It's "oo." [Submitted by Zain I.]
As in ... "oo ooh ah ahh." [Submitted by Ben D.]
Mike O., please.
I'm really starting to think that some people don't like Brett Favre. [Submitted by Charles D.]
Can't forget the extra dose of this pimpin'. [Submitted by Rob B.]
The extra T is for a double dose of these Tasty Tacos. [Submitted by Adam B.]
I'm confused. Is that what the hat is made out of? [Submitted by Pat F.]
I guess this doubles as a Sports-O-Ween entry (for the love of god, stop sending those in), but I don't see blackface so I can't tell for sure. [Submitted by Scott K.]
You know what? Sometimes you just gotta say what everyone else is thinking. [Submitted by Nick S.]
You'll notice that this guy is wearing a Patriots hoodie under his "Favre4Ever" jersey while attending an American football game in London. Clearly a Tory spy. [Submitted by John M.]
See, cause Pat Tillman was in the Army Rangers. Get it? [Submitted by John O.]
Okayyyyyyyy.... [Submitted by Mark V.]
You know, rhinos are among the most dangerous land mammals. [Submitted by Robert G.]
Let's not get ahead of yourselves, Jacksonville fans. There's a good chance the NFL won't even let you draft next spring. [Submitted by Jan L.]
Well, it's hard to argue with a shirt. [Submitted by Rick M., seen in Chicago]
Why aren't all mobs this good at brand awareness? [Submitted by Eric M.]
All right, I give up. What the hell does this mean? [Submitted by Josh H.]
He's a real wiredout man. Sitting in his wiredout land. Making all his plan to ... wire ... out ... something. I guess. [Submitted by Nick M.]

Look, I get that Raider fans are super dedicated to their team and the elaborate costumes that are cooked up by the citizens of the "Black Hole" are part of the fun and spirit of football (and maybe the only reason anyone even attends their games.) But ... and I'm just spitballing here, I'm no expert really ... have you considered taking the shoulder pads off before you get in the port-a-potty? Just a thought. I would just hate to see you lose one of those skulls down the other "black hole."

This picture was taken by photographer Mark Lutzker and you should really check out his whole gallery of shots from the Oakland parking lot, because Raider fans sure are, um ... interesting.

Oakland Raiders [Mark Lutzker]

* * * * *

It's Veteran's Day, so if you know someone who was in the military, today would be a good day to not spit on them.

Did you know that this song was made famous by the movie Rush Hour 3!? (Come on, YouTube. You're better than that.)

Jimmy Tucker, better known to the rest of the country as "that guy with the beard who really likes Kansas athletics," has been a fixture on KU's quad since time immemorial, but students have noticed his recent absence.

Seems Tucker, 62, has repeatedly violated a restraining order taken out by his 23-year-old ex-fiancée, and was arrested last week for failing to show up for a court date.

That's not the only run-in with the law Tucker has had. He's scheduled to appear in court on a theft charge after stealing three books from the student library, and has yet another court appearance for a marijuana possession charge.

I wouldn't expect anything less from a man who named himself after a blunt.

‘White Owl' Held In Jail In Connection With Protective Order Case [Lawrence Journal-World]

Dan Steinberg has the heartbreaking tale of these wayward souls who had to go to the Georgia Dome of all places, just to tell Dan Snyder that he sucks. A worthy goal indeed, but it's hell on your car tires. This whole situation would be much funnier if I wasn't also a Lions fan. You saw how hard it was to get rid of Matt Millen and he didn't even own stock.

Stay strong, fellas.

Burgundy Revolution travels to Atlanta [D.C. Sports Bog]

* * * * *

Broncos and Steelers are the Monday Night game and the ESPN ticker just seriously said: "OUT: Ryan Clark (sickle cell trait)" so you know it will be a weird night. Anyway, thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. Hey, look ... it's Neidermeyer.

Which obnoxious fans would you least like to be sitting next to at a football game? The loud, over-excitable body painter who loses his voice on every first-down draw play or the cooing lovebirds who would rather grope themselves (and maybe you too) instead of watching the action on the field.

There's one of each at every game, but it's rare that you see them seated together. So was this guy cheering for Louisiana Tech to get over the hump against Boise State? Or for his buddy to finally get humped? Either way, I'd hate to be the one who has to get all that blue paint out of the sheets.

[Photo by Reader Mike M.]

* * * * *

It's Monday. Grab some Cheerios and we'll wind this thing up.

The entity known only as SeminFace sends along this pic of a fan confident in his Capitals, but less confident about his spelling. But his aborted homemade sign raises the question of when exactly he decided to give up. Was it when he noticed there wasn't enough room to finish "endangered species?" Was it when he realized he spelled "endangered" with an M? "Panthers" without an H? I say none of the above, because he still hasn't noticed "are."

My girlfriend just said to me: "Are you sure you want to post this? There might be something wrong with this guy, mentally. Charities give those people blocks of seats all the time. Just think about it before you post." Well, I'm thinking about it, and I'm posting it anyway.

A more persuasive sign, though less effective on the final score, is this one from reader Thomas at last night's ASU/USC game. But I don't think most of the country needs to put things in perspective in order to hate the Trojans.

•••••

A happy and healthy Sunday to all of you out there in Internet land. Just a reminder, our evolution didn't hinge on passivity.

We know about the Redskins soap opera that has riveted everyone in the D.C. era, except Dan Snyder. Fan are upset. Security at FedEx field is upset because they now how have discipline the upset fans even though they'd rather just stand still and do nothing and that just makes everyone even more grumpy. Now some genius has found the solution to banned signs—a sign of humanity where folks in the upper deck can spell out "Fire Snyder" simply by wearing the right color t-shirt. If they can decode this seating chart first. I don't see how this possibly fails.

They aren't alone however. Browns fans are actually fighting with each other over the best way to voice their displeasure with the team's "rebuilding" process. A group of "Dawg Pound" residents are planning to arrive late to the Monday night game against the Ravens in two weeks, which will surely hurt Phil Dawson's feelings. Meanwhile other Cleveland fans counter with the ridiculous argument that you can't reverse a decade of failure in 7 games. This is not the time to be calm and rational, folks.

But it's not just NFL fans who are pumping up the emo music. Some Colorado students are urging everyone to wear powder blue to Folsom Field on Saturday in honor of one of the worst eras—and uniform choices—in Buffaloes history. Although, I'm not sure why they need the reminder when everyone is well aware that this current team is awful. This "statement" will surely rock academia to its foundations and possibly make CU administrators cancel the football program altogether. It's the only way to be sure.

And of course, Louisville's quixotic quest to humiliate head football coach Steve Kragthrope silently marches on. Shame is not a weapon when your opponent has none.

Or if football isn't your game, maybe write a strongly worded letter to the NBA reminding them that one of their oldest and least successful owners is also a racist jackass. Why should football fans have all the fun?

A FedEx Field Sign Snyder Can't Ban [Fire Snyder Sign, via FamousDC]
Browns Fans' Stand Against Dawg Pound Mike's Nov. 16 Protest [Cleveland Frowns]
Browns fans: Don't protest [Read and React]
Fed-up CU Buffs fans plan powder-blue protest at Folsom [Colorado Daily]
Bag Krag [Bag Krag]
Sterling suit seems to fit NBA just fine [Yahoo]

The Sports Fans Coalition has an actual working website now and in this day and age that make you legit. The have a blog and everything. Their stated agenda is spelled out, there's a few snazzy pictures, and links to tales of sports fan woe. (Dave Zirin, the author of this recent L.A. Times op-ed about the foolishness of a new Los Angeles football stadium, is on the SFC board of directors.) You can even join the group yourself, if you like—with or without donating your hard-earned money to them. That makes it easier to keep an eye on their dastardly plans.

Some people are still saying that they're in the pocket of satellite companies, but we'll reserve our judgment for now because Comcast sucks. We'll just keep an eye on them ourselves and see if they can actually accomplish what they set out to do—or decide to take a lot of Congresspeople out to lunch and sell you out. As long as I get my Soviet Socialist health care, I'm happy.

Sports Fans Coalition, Inc. [sportsfanscoalition.org]
Football in L.A. [LA Times]
New lobbying group targets old battle over TV sports coverage [The Hill]

[Screengrabs shamelessly lifted from the shameless fools at 4chan]

I guess this poor kid fell asleep during the Phillies celebration last night and dirty hooligans decided to take the Sharpie to him. That's a shame. Fortunately, the boy has so many O'Doul's in him that he just doesn't care.

Since I was not in Philadelphia last night and all communication with the city has been cut off, I'm not sure if this was just good-natured revelry or if Center City is still in flames. Normally, I turn to Fox News for the real truth, but these two headlines from two nearly identical Fox affiliates do not clear up the matter. One seems to suggest that all is well ...

Fans Spend Night Partying In Streets

... but the New York market sees things a little differently ...

Phillies Fans Out of Control

Nope, this World Series isn't going to be annoying at all.

* * * * *

Please let it be Friday? Shoot.

The premise of the bit was an interview with the members of the Padilla Flotilla—it rhymes if you're actually a member of the Spanish Armada—who used to be the personal fan club of Vicente Padilla, but have renounced their hero since he's pitching for the Dodgers tonight. Then a cab driver in a Yankee jersey drove by and started heckling them. So Jerrick, always the professional, chased the cabbie off with cardboard boat oar. He then continued the interview by asking if these youngsters, seeking a new Phillie hero to throw their allegiance behind, could "ride the Cooch Train?"

Thank heavens he didn't direct that question toward the girl or this post would have a very different set of tags. The female anchor politely pointed out that Jerrick was actually referring to the Chooch Train, in honor of Carlos Ruiz. Believe it or not, there are actually two Chooch fan clubs fighting for Chooch supremacy. Mike Alfonso, leader of the "Chooch-Chooch Train" demands that his group be granted the true Chooch throne.

"We tailgate with authentic Panamanian beer and an inflatable sombrero beer cooler - all approved by Ivan the Cart Guy, who works outside my building and is from Panama," Alfonso wrote.

Wait, there's more. Philadelphia city workers have spent most of the day greasing light posts throughout the city, as if that would somehow stop a determined drunk from scaling one tonight.

So it's come to this, Philly? Ivan The Cart Guy is the arbiter of taste? Greased poles and inflatable sombrero beer coolers? Could Yankee fans actually end up looking like the civilized ones here?

Although, I have to grudgingly admit that this is pretty cool. Now go home and get your shine box.

Padilla Flotilla [Fox29]
All aboar+d the Chooch-Chooch Train [Daily News]
Quite Possibly The Greatest Thing Ever [The Fightins]

Volumes One and Two of our custom jersey showcase were fun, but now things have stopped being polite and are starting to get real. Like really, real. Bragging, insults, racism, homophobia, alcoholism, terrible penmanship. This round has it all. No topic is so taboo that someone won't try and pay the NFL Shop to put it on a shirt. Behold this terrible peek into the psyche of a troubled nation.

And once again, if you've got more, keep sending them in. This bad medicine is what I need.

The jersey itself is fantastic—whatever it means—but I'm more interested in his friend, who is apparently riding a cooler. Now THAT'S some serious customization.

[Submitted by Dunstan D.]
This is our second run-in with "Schuster" who is apparently a multi-sport star. New England really knows how to produce winners.

[Submitted by Kegan L.]
Far too many of these involve some variation of a Favre jersey. When Wife of Favre gets in on the act, you know you've jumped the shark.

[Submitted by Adam W.]
Finally, a Jet fan is rewarded for wishful thinking. Actually, I guess five interceptions against the Bills is more of a gift than a reward.

[Photo by Marianne O'Leary - @ 2009 NFL Draft]
Well, that's one way to reduce, reuse, recycle.

[Via JoeSportsFan]
And that's another. Come on, guys. You saved enough paper route money to buy a shirt once, you can do it again.

[Submitted by John L.]
Politics, Favre, bad Sharpie work, unnecessary apostrophes, and the jersey is inside out. It's perfect. And I still don't understand it.

[Submitted by Joe S. - seen in Minneapolis.]
Yeah! And what's up with the stupid cheese things they wear on their heads?

[Also submitted by Joe S. in Minneapolis.]
[Submitted by Frank G - "Here's 2 custom jerseys I spotted at the recent Jets/Pats game. I also feel that with the first one, it should be noted that it wasn't merely just an anti-favre statement with duck tape and a sharpie, but he also managed to make a myriad of "what's a dickfour" jokes... the best of which was when someone's not-too-football-savvy girlfriend asked him something along the lines of "Who's the Dick Four?" or "Who's Dick Four?" and he seemlessly responded "The dick's for you babe."]

Then they totally did it right there in the stands, right? That HAS to be how the story ends, right?!
I don't ... what?

[Also submitted by Frank G.]
The sad part? That's actually Tim Couch.

[Submitted by Jeff G.]
Tuck me? Tuck me into bed? Oh, how very thoughtful! Such nice fans!

[Submitted by Peter F. - seen "@ the Raiders-Giants game"]
Einhorn is a man?!

[Submitted by model American Jason S.]
Worst Ben and Jerry's flavor ever.

[Submitted by Seth - @ UT-Colorado game]
Have you guys met Schuster?

[Submitted by ... "Munky," I guess. - "This is my wife and I in my study. Too bad I don't had a shot of her name. It says "Bruiser" on the back. hahaha"]
Why is she leaning to the left?

[Submitted by Thomas D. - seen at "a bar outside of Philadelphia"]
Finally, a shirt we can all agree on.

[Submitted by Jeremy S.]
Wait, Cheney is going to be 46? Oh man. I guess I'll hold on to that Halliburton stock.

[Submitted by Sean J. - "At the Red Sox v. Rangers, August 16th. Guy behind us was trying to figure out why Bush was 43, "I guess it's Nolan Ryan's number [34] backwards or something?"]
That's not a lens flare. That's Dale Sr. up in heaven. His head just exploded.

[Submitted by George M.]
I still say he's the hardest Mega Man boss ever.

[Submitted by Kaiping S. - "at the chargers vs ravens game"]
This guy has intentionally broken his arm six times and still can't throw a fastball over 60 m.p.h.

[Submitted by Norman D.]
The classics never go out of style.

[Submitted by Rosco]
A sad reader writes: "I was so excited about the new 49er regime, of Mike Nolan and Scott McCloughan, that I stupidly got this jersey...they went 5-11. Ugh. Feel free to print my stupidity."

[Submitted by Ryan (last name withheld to protect his family)]

[Submitted by Kid Canada - "It's a Montreal Canadiens jersey that says LEAFS SUCK 67 on the back, '67 being the last year the Leafs won the Stanley Cup. How Canadian am I? Not sure if this guy wears the jersey when the Canadiens are playing, say, the Minnesota Wild."]
Um ... are you allowed to do this? Even in Louisiana? I don't like this game anymore.

[Submitted by Noah L. - taken @ LSU-GA game]
I think the empty pitcher also explains why he thought it was a good idea to buy this jersey in the first place.

[Submitted by Matt D.]
Just so we're clear: You're the one with the football jersey expertly tucked into your jeans. Also, you're eating "Chicken on a Stick," so I'm not sure you're allowed to mock anyone at this point.

[Submitted by Katie C. - taken UT-OU game]
"What do I do for a living, little lady? Read the jersey."

[Submitted by R. Bradley]

A lot of you took notice of this dude during Game 3 of the ALDS last night. He looks both shocked and amazed at ... something. Is it whatever he just ate out of that tinfoil package in front of him? Did the woman in the jester hat just tell him that she's only 17? Are the voices back?

Or did he just notice that he's watching a baseball game ... indoors. Like ... whoa, man. That's pretty heavy.

UPDATE: As a few commenters have pointed out, it looks like this is Chris Mars, former drummer of The Replacements, and his wife, Sally. Rock on, kids.

* * * * *

Welcome to another Monday. Was your weekend productive? Yeah, neither was mine.

There are some other differences from the Red Sox sisters' fight. For example, this time it's pretty clear who's escalating things. (Hint: In these situations, it's always the person who won't turn around.) And the boyfriend really just wants to watch the game, as his mortification seems to overwhelm his protective instincts.

While the climax of this battle can't top the Tasering of a Sox fan, this woman being pushed/falling down the stairs does wrap things up pretty nicely before security arrives.

And how about Angelenos, putting the lie to misconceptions of their passion as fans? I suppose the Laker riots gave us a taste of what gracious winners they can be.

You don't get more than a quick glance at the girls, but there appears to be one blonde (who definitely looks like the Christina Rivas pictured in the Boston Herald), one brunette and one very angry boyfriend. He goes toe-to-toe with an Angels fan before security finally arrives to escort them all away. You don't see the moments before the fight started, but we're going to assume that there was heckling involved and it probably involved fat derrieres. So everyone loses.

And as a final side note: Is the stadium usher wearing a Panama hat? What lawless thug is going to respect that?

Angels Fight - Angels vs. Red Sox, Game 1 ALDS 2009 [YouTube]

In this update to our original gallery—fat guys on motorcycles, more immortal movie characters, and even actual athletes who get their own personalized jerseys (for free!) can't resist the customized joke trend. You never looked so good, kids.

This is the last thing you see before you drive your car into the wall of the Big Dig. [Submitted by Marshall S. - "on the 55 freeway last night (Oct. 9) on our way to Angels Stadium."]
No idea... [Submitted by Meg]
This jersey is included here not for the slur—again, when you put this on your back, you are now describing yourself—but for the duct tape that takes the pathetic to a whole other level. [Submitted by Jeff H.]
"Don't give me this 'olé' bullshit." [Submitted by Jody C.]
When you think about it, is this really an insult? [Submitted by Cameron F.]
Gee, you'd think the First Lady could score better seats. [Submitted by Ricardo]
Truth in advertising. The guy definitely has a helmet painted on his head. [Submitted by Phil G. - "taken at Colts - Seahawks game"]
You know, there aren't a lot of folks left these days willing to criticize international terrorism via t-shirt. Thank you, sir, for your courage. [Submitted by John T. - "Snapped this from my terrible seats during the Redskins thrilling 9-7 win over the Rams in week 2."]
Andthendropoffacliffanddieafierydeath
IhateyousomuchexceptforJimEdmondshe'sokayiguess. [Submitted by Boose, in St. Louis]
According to the submitter: "This was taken at a Mets/Cards game in august of '08. At one point, they played "Enter Sandman" over the PA and this guy totally lost his shit." Wow. That is a surprising detail! [Submitted by Chris H.]
Almost there.... [via]
There we go. Taking it biblical was exactly what we needed here. [Submitted by Cameron D. - no, not that one.]
It's a shame. With just a slight adjustment that could have said "Wicker." [Submitted by Dale N.]
Did you ever wake up in the morning and say to yourself, "You know what? I need to make a permanent tribute to a terrible movie that no one ever talks about or even remembers fondly and then wear that on my back." Yeah, me neither. [Submitted by Ryan W. - "at the Phillies-Rockies game"]
No sign of Laser or Blazer? [Submitted by Aryeh]
The good thing is that we now know Garrett Atkins' clubhouse nickname. At least, I hope that's Garrett Atkins and not their new closer, Manami Hairyfatkins. [Photo via Denver Post]

The Boston Herald has the harrowing tale of two female Red Sox fans—who are also sisters (wink, wink!)—who took a terrifying journey to Angel Stadium, where they were set upon by a swarthy mob of L.A. fans who hurled "sexually explicit" insults at them, like "Hey, sit your fat (derriere) down!" And she's not even a plus-size model!

The night took a more upsetting turn for the ladies when one of their boyfriends lunged at one of the boorish "hooligans" (who is probably an illegal immigrant, btw) and security took him down with a taser. Fortunately, the completely irrelevant suitor was "hit with a weapon that only delivers a fraction of the shock of a full stun-gun blast," which made the incident slightly less traumatic for the girls, Christina Rivas, 24, and her sister, Kerrianne, 20.

Not that they will ever feel safe enough to attend a baseball game again. What if the boyfriend challenges another cop to a fight? Why must their adorable shoulders bear the weight of all mankind?

Hellish game for Sox sisters [Boston Herald]

UPDATE: Now with (possible) video of the fight!