FIFA Turned A Huge Profit On The World Cup, Of Course

FIFA is bad. "Bad," as in many of the people who work there are bad, and they often do bad things to the sport of soccer and to the world at large. But let no one ever say that FIFA isn't very, very good at making money: it pulled in more than $2 billion in revenues last year, nearly all of that from the World Cup. » 3/20/15 3:19pm 3/20/15 3:19pm

The USMNT Should Boycott The 2022 World Cup

Today FIFA announced that they are formally moving ahead with plans to host the 2022 World Cup in Qatar in November and December of that year, with the final being played a week before Christmas. As you may already know, Qatar's World Cup infrastructure is being built using Moses-era slavery practices. One of the… » 3/19/15 3:40pm 3/19/15 3:40pm

FIFA Takes 2021 Confederations Cup Away From Qatar

In a tough-yet-fair decision by an organization known for them, FIFA has decided to strip Qatar of hosting privileges for the 2021 Confederations Cup. In explaining the group's reasoning, FIFA secretary general Jérôme Valcke revealed something no one had previously considered: Qatari summers are way too hot for… » 2/26/15 10:49am 2/26/15 10:49am

Even The Big European Powers Can't Stop The Winter World Cup In Qatar

As the tides of progress surge on, even Europe realizes its powerlessness in the face of Qatar's insistence on making the 2022 World Cup the first to be held in the winter, thus wrecking the domestic leagues' seasons. Our last hope for sanity to prevail—a defiant UEFA protecting its own highly-profitable… » 2/24/15 10:51am 2/24/15 10:51am

Three More Sponsors Decide To Stop Supporting Slavery, Drop FIFA 

Good news everybody! Three of FIFA's biggest sponsors—Johnson & Johnson, Castrol, and Continental Tires—confirmed to The Telegraph that they have cut their ties with FIFA, joining Sony and Emirates in declining to continue supporting slavery. As second-tier World Cup sponsors in 2014, the three companies paid FIFA… » 1/22/15 8:15pm 1/22/15 8:15pm

Cristiano Ronaldo, A Decent Soccer Player, Wins FIFA Player Of The Year

Today, Real Madrid's Cristiano Ronaldo was awarded the 2014 FIFA Ballon d'Or. It's the second year in a row he's been named FIFA's best player, and the third time in his career. The Portuguese winger beat out Argentina's Lionel Messi, German keeper Manuel Neuer, and a bunch of other guys who had no place in the… » 1/12/15 5:15pm 1/12/15 5:15pm

You Do Not Fuck Around With FIFA's Logos

This will probably not come as a shock, but FIFA really, really cares about its brand. Sure, it's fine allying with slavers and shrugging at the deadly work conditions for "employees" in its host nations, and, when evidence of corruption in the World Cup bidding process is found, is more concerned with keeping the… » 12/15/14 1:59pm 12/15/14 1:59pm

This Cristiano Ronaldo Ballon D'Or Campaign Is Getting Really Gross

UEFA president Michel Platini made a pretty reasonable comment in Madrid earlier this week, saying in his opinion the Ballon d'Or should go to a German player after the country's success in the World Cup. The statement set off the Real Madrid spin machine though, and the team took matters into their own hands. » 11/28/14 11:16am 11/28/14 11:16am

German Football League Threatens FIFA Over Unreleased World Cup Report

FIFA finally released a summary of their report into the bidding process for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups, and to the surprise of absolutely nobody it basically cleared Qatar, Russia, and current FIFA officials of any wrongdoing. The 42-page report was written by FIFA ethics committee judge Hans-Joachim Eckert, and… » 11/15/14 5:55pm 11/15/14 5:55pm

FIFA Investigator Blasts Report Based On His Own Investigation

As expected, the report based on FIFA's probe has largely cleared Russia, Qatar, and all active FIFA officials of claims of corruption in the World Cup bidding process. But here's one no one saw coming: the man who actually conducted the investigation says the report is "incomplete and erroneous," and will appeal… » 11/13/14 8:22am 11/13/14 8:22am

Spoiler Alert: After FIFA Probe, Qatar Gets To Keep Its World Cup

The summary of a year-long investigation into the bidding process for the next two World Cups will not be released until tomorrow, but the gist has already leaked via the English press. Basically: everyone involved was corrupt, but the 2018 and 2022 tournaments will not be taken away from Russia or Qatar. » 11/12/14 4:42pm 11/12/14 4:42pm

Luis Suárez, On Chronic Biting: At Least I Never Bit Anyone's Ear Off!

You have to give it to Luis Suárez for at least one thing: the guy is not afraid to be honest, even if it makes him sound like a crazy man defending his own sanity. Judging from some excerpts in Sport from his new autobiography, the book is nowhere near the typical athlete's mid-career hagiography. » 11/12/14 2:54pm 11/12/14 2:54pm

Qatar Sports Minister Says He Probably Won't Imprison Gay Soccer Fans

It's hard to keep track of all the reasons it's so fucked up that FIFA decided to award the 2022 World Cup to Qatar, so here's one you might not have been aware of: It is illegal to be gay in Qatar, and the country's sports minister isn't willing to give anyone a straight answer on whether gay people will be welcome… » 11/11/14 4:17pm 11/11/14 4:17pm

Report: Qatar Using North Korean Slave Labor To Build For World Cup

It seemed like we had reached a point where the organizers of the 2022 World Cup couldn't possibly get more cartoonishly evil, what with the ITUC estimating that migrant worker-fueled construction would kill more people than 9/11, and then another report estimating that 1,000 migrant workers had already died in the… » 11/07/14 2:48pm 11/07/14 2:48pm

FIFA's Corruption Report Is Being Kept Secret For Very Dumb Reasons

Former U.S. attorney Michael J. Garcia finished his investigation into allegations of bribery in the bidding process for both the 2018 and 2022 World Cups earlier this year, and he has made it known that he would like the report to be made public. The report is currently being kept secret by Hans-Joachim Eckert, a… » 11/07/14 2:19pm 11/07/14 2:19pm