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With No Fear Of Arrest, Sepp Blatter Finally Leaves Home For... Russia

Sepp Blatter is not afraid. Sure, he hasn’t left his native Switzerland since that little international scandal that locked up a number of top FIFA officials—he recently skipped out on the Women’s World Cup in Canada and the U-20 World Cup in New Zealand—but that’s not because he’s had anything to fear. As proof, he’s… » 7/23/15 3:09pm Thursday 3:09pm

Jeffrey Webb Secures $10 Million Bond With A Shitload Of Luxury Goods

Jeffrey Webb, the former FIFA vice-president and CONCACAF president, was one of the men arrested in Switzerland in May on corruption charges. Since he didn’t fight his extradition from Switzerland, he was the first of those arrested to be extradited to the United States to face the charges. … » 7/20/15 9:31pm 7/20/15 9:31pm

FIFA Presidential Election Will Be Held In February

Today’s announcement that FIFA will finally hold a presidential election to replace the resigning Sepp Blatter will be held on Feb. 26, 2016, is typical FIFA frustration in that it’ll mean Blatter was able to hang on for nine whole months after calling it quits in disgrace. But let’s have some optimism: it also means… » 7/20/15 9:06am 7/20/15 9:06am

Spain Files Legal Appeal Against Qatar's Winter World Cup

Before Swiss agents rolled up on Zurich’s Baur au Lac hotel, snatched a handful of top FIFA execs, and put in motion the series of events that would culminate in their president’s resignation, soccer’s governing body seemed pretty much omnipotent. That day has changed, thankfully, and people are making moves. » 6/29/15 4:08pm 6/29/15 4:08pm

FIFA Screwed France Out Of The Tournament, And It's Bullshit

Immediately following France’s loss to Germany in the Women’s World Cup quarterfinal, a rightfully frustrated Camille Abily lashed out at FIFA’s seeding protocols. As anyone who bothered to look ahead could see, those teams—probably the two best in the world—were always on a collision course at that early stage in the… » 6/29/15 2:05pm 6/29/15 2:05pm

French Player Slams FIFA: "They Have To Stop Taking Us For Idiots"

As undeniably awesome as last night’s France-Germany match was, it was complete and utter bullshit that these two teams were forced to meet in the quarterfinals. Far from being an unforeseen, unlucky occurrence, this is exactly as FIFA planned it. And France’s Camille Abily, for one, is none too happy about that. » 6/27/15 1:48pm 6/27/15 1:48pm

Sepp Blatter Out Here Like "Hold Up. Who Said Anything About Resigning?"

Is Sepp Blatter just insane or what? That’s about the only question that comes to mind when you hear that, yes, as reports hinted at a couple weeks ago, ol’ Sepp doesn’t actually plan on relinquishing his grasp of the FIFA presidency any time soon—this time coming from the man himself. » 6/26/15 11:22am 6/26/15 11:22am

FIFA's Savior Has Thrown His Hat Into The Ring, And His Name Is Maradona

With all the turmoil surrounding FIFA in recent months and the power vacuum soon to be created once Sepp Blatter finally relinquishes the reins on his Empire, soccer will need a smooth, steady, experienced set of hands to guide the sport out from the pits of controversy and back into the light. And if there’s any one… » 6/22/15 1:23pm 6/22/15 1:23pm

Director Of Terrible FIFA Movie Rues His New Rep As A Propaganda Man

Frédéric Auburtin had the misfortune of directing the colossal flop that was United Passions, the movie about and paid for by FIFA. And while directing an awful movie itself can usually be brushed off pretty easily, the recent scandal has inflicted lasting scars on Auburtin’s reputation, as he explains in a new… » 6/17/15 12:23pm 6/17/15 12:23pm

Arab Leaders To Combat Anti-Qatar "Propaganda" With Pro-Qatar Propaganda

The Gulf Cooperation Council—an intergovernmental body made up of a handful of Middle-Eastern nations—is sick and damn tired of the Western media’s continued harping on all the terrible shit going on in relation to the Qatar World Cup. They will not stand for it anymore. As proof, they’ve called on the media of their… » 6/11/15 12:19pm 6/11/15 12:19pm

FIFA Communications Head Quits After Making Sepp Blatter Joke

In a surprising move, FIFA announced today that director of communications Walter De Gregorio has “decided to relinquish his office.” De Gregorio has been FIFA’s front-facing man throughout this crisis—it was he who spoke at a hastily arranged press conference on the morning of the Zurich busts. But did De Gregorio… » 6/11/15 9:31am 6/11/15 9:31am

FIFA Postpones 2026 World Cup Bidding

In the wake of FIFA’s leadership being nuked from orbit, the bidding process for the 2026 World Cup has been put on hold. (FIFA’s official statement benignly attributes the delay “due to the current situation.” Subtext: a whole bunch of the people scheduled to vote on awarding the tournament are probably going to be… » 6/10/15 12:00pm 6/10/15 12:00pm

Watch John Oliver's Message To Jack Warner That Aired On Trinidad TV

Comedian and Last Week Tonight host John Oliver responded to ex-FIFA official and wanted man Jack Warner’s wild “The Gloves Are Off” paid political program by buying his own airtime on Trinidad television and airing a parody titled “The Mittens Of Disapproval Are On.” We recorded it, and you can watch it above. » 6/09/15 9:12pm 6/09/15 9:12pm