Wow, So This FIFA Exec Was An Even Bigger Corrupt Sleazeball Than We Thought, Huh?

When Jérôme Valcke—formerly Sepp Blatter’s righthand man as FIFA secretary general—was suspended and investigated after documents tying him to a shady World Cup ticket reselling racket came out, we all thought we were dealing with your run-of-the-mill venal FIFA greaseball. Now that FIFA has concluded its…


FIFA Hit Real Madrid And Atlético With Two-Window Transfer Sanctions

Sepp Blatter warned everyone that this was coming, but it’s still a shocker seeing it: Real Madrid and Atlético have both been found in violation of FIFA rules regarding the signing of players under the age of 18 and punished with a prohibition on registering any new players for two transfer windows, starting this…

Sepp Blatter Calls Out Tough-Talking Brands For Being Phony

Freed from PR considerations following yesterday’s eight-year ban from soccer, a Nelly bandaid-rocking Sepp Blatter—who presumably sports it for the same reasons the rapper did, as an homage to his recently locked-up homies—has loosened his tongue a little bit. One of his targets is the brands and their bullshit.

Tim Roth: I Starred In FIFA's Awful Propaganda Movie For The Money

Tim Roth is a real and talented actor who has been nominated for an Academy Award, among other recognitions of his good work, which made it very strange to see him starring as Sepp Blatter in the FIFA-financed propaganda film about the organization’s history, United Passions. FIFA spent about $27 million on the movie,…

Michel Platini, Facing Lengthy FIFA Ban, Will Boycott Ethics Hearing

Suspended UEFA president Michel Platini, along with suspended FIFA president Sepp Blatter, are almost certain to receive long bans from soccer’s governing body by early next week. This has been clear for a while, and is supported by recent reports from those inside the FIFA ethics committee in charge of the…

Report: Swiss Authorities Raid Same Hotel As Last Time, Arrest More FIFA Officials (UPDATED)

Remember six months ago, when Swiss authorities raided a luxury hotel in Zurich to arrest a number of FIFA officials, on behalf of the U.S. Justice Department? Luckily for those of us who want to see the incompetent and corrupt world soccer organization brought to its knees, it’s happening again!

President Of German Soccer Association Resigns Amid World Cup Bribery Scandal

DFB President Wolfgang Niersbach has resigned from his post today. While he’s maintained his and his organization’s innocence amid allegations that German soccer officials bought votes in order to win World Cup hosting rights in 2006, Niersbach has decided to take “political responsibility” for the controversy.


Sepp Blatter Says U.S. Was Supposed To Hold 2022 World Cup

Just when you think Sepp Blatter has revealed the full extent of his kooky theories and self-centered worldview, he opens his mouth again and wows you with even more crazy talk. In his newest interview, Blatter elucidates his belief that the entire FIFA scandal was a covert ploy by Michel Platini and, independently,…