Spain Files Legal Appeal Against Qatar's Winter World Cup

Before Swiss agents rolled up on Zurich’s Baur au Lac hotel, snatched a handful of top FIFA execs, and put in motion the series of events that would culminate in their president’s resignation, soccer’s governing body seemed pretty much omnipotent. That day has changed, thankfully, and people are making moves. » 6/29/15 4:08pm 6/29/15 4:08pm

FIFA Screwed France Out Of The Tournament, And It's Bullshit

Immediately following France’s loss to Germany in the Women’s World Cup quarterfinal, a rightfully frustrated Camille Abily lashed out at FIFA’s seeding protocols. As anyone who bothered to look ahead could see, those teams—probably the two best in the world—were always on a collision course at that early stage in the… » 6/29/15 2:05pm 6/29/15 2:05pm

French Player Slams FIFA: "They Have To Stop Taking Us For Idiots"

As undeniably awesome as last night’s France-Germany match was, it was complete and utter bullshit that these two teams were forced to meet in the quarterfinals. Far from being an unforeseen, unlucky occurrence, this is exactly as FIFA planned it. And France’s Camille Abily, for one, is none too happy about that. » 6/27/15 1:48pm 6/27/15 1:48pm

Sepp Blatter Out Here Like "Hold Up. Who Said Anything About Resigning?"

Is Sepp Blatter just insane or what? That’s about the only question that comes to mind when you hear that, yes, as reports hinted at a couple weeks ago, ol’ Sepp doesn’t actually plan on relinquishing his grasp of the FIFA presidency any time soon—this time coming from the man himself. » 6/26/15 11:22am 6/26/15 11:22am

FIFA's Savior Has Thrown His Hat Into The Ring, And His Name Is Maradona

With all the turmoil surrounding FIFA in recent months and the power vacuum soon to be created once Sepp Blatter finally relinquishes the reins on his Empire, soccer will need a smooth, steady, experienced set of hands to guide the sport out from the pits of controversy and back into the light. And if there’s any one… » 6/22/15 1:23pm 6/22/15 1:23pm

Director Of Terrible FIFA Movie Rues His New Rep As A Propaganda Man

Frédéric Auburtin had the misfortune of directing the colossal flop that was United Passions, the movie about and paid for by FIFA. And while directing an awful movie itself can usually be brushed off pretty easily, the recent scandal has inflicted lasting scars on Auburtin’s reputation, as he explains in a new… » 6/17/15 12:23pm 6/17/15 12:23pm

Arab Leaders To Combat Anti-Qatar "Propaganda" With Pro-Qatar Propaganda

The Gulf Cooperation Council—an intergovernmental body made up of a handful of Middle-Eastern nations—is sick and damn tired of the Western media’s continued harping on all the terrible shit going on in relation to the Qatar World Cup. They will not stand for it anymore. As proof, they’ve called on the media of their… » 6/11/15 12:19pm 6/11/15 12:19pm

FIFA Communications Head Quits After Making Sepp Blatter Joke

In a surprising move, FIFA announced today that director of communications Walter De Gregorio has “decided to relinquish his office.” De Gregorio has been FIFA’s front-facing man throughout this crisis—it was he who spoke at a hastily arranged press conference on the morning of the Zurich busts. But did De Gregorio… » 6/11/15 9:31am 6/11/15 9:31am

FIFA Postpones 2026 World Cup Bidding

In the wake of FIFA’s leadership being nuked from orbit, the bidding process for the 2026 World Cup has been put on hold. (FIFA’s official statement benignly attributes the delay “due to the current situation.” Subtext: a whole bunch of the people scheduled to vote on awarding the tournament are probably going to be… » 6/10/15 12:00pm 6/10/15 12:00pm

Watch John Oliver's Message To Jack Warner That Aired On Trinidad TV

Comedian and Last Week Tonight host John Oliver responded to ex-FIFA official and wanted man Jack Warner’s wild “The Gloves Are Off” paid political program by buying his own airtime on Trinidad television and airing a parody titled “The Mittens Of Disapproval Are On.” We recorded it, and you can watch it above. » 6/09/15 9:12pm 6/09/15 9:12pm

FIFA ExCo Member Says Morocco Actually Won 2010 World Cup Vote

Officially, South Africa won the vote to host the 2010 World Cup 14-10. But according to allegations from a FIFA executive committee member, after conferring with his fellow voters, the tally was actually 13-11 in favor of Morocco, and some major bribes and shady vote-counting led FIFA to announce the fraudulent… » 6/08/15 12:32pm 6/08/15 12:32pm

John Oliver Chugs Bud Light Lime To Celebrate Blatter's Resignation

When Last Week Tonight host John Oliver pledged last week to consume a variety of McDonald’s, Budweiser, and Adidas products if those brands made Sepp Blatter go away, nobody imagined he’d have to make good so quickly. But make good he did, last night—though not before describing Bud Light Lime as tasting like “the… » 6/08/15 9:57am 6/08/15 9:57am

Report: Sepp Blatter Linked To Allegedly Corrupt $10 Million Payment

A 2007 email between supposed-to-be-resigning FIFA president Sepp Blatter and then-South African president Thabo Mbeki discussed $10 million that went to allegedly corrupt soccer executives as a payment for the country’s successful 2010 World Cup bid, reports South Africa’s Sunday Times ($). » 6/07/15 3:05pm 6/07/15 3:05pm