After supposedly "returning" from the Finnish SM-Liiga, Kyle Turris complained about his lockout home to The Globe and Mail, in just the latest of a few such stories to come out recently. The Globe and Mail piece covered the usual stuff: the food sucked, the travel sucked, "they spoke a different language."

That's Iiro Vehmanen of TuTo during a Finnish Metsis League game earlier this week. Be sure to listen to the audio, too. Twice, the announcer throws a "Rocky Balboa" out there in between a bunch of Finnish words. Our thoughts exactly. This has been your Deadspin pre-NHL lockout hockey highlight.

Reasonable hockey fans have spent much of the past week sticking up for Alexander Radulov and Andrei Kostitsyn of the Nashville Predators. Barry Trotz benched both forwards for game three of the Western Conference semifinals after they missed curfew, and then he benched them again for game four. It seemed like Trotz's…

The finals of the annual Sauna Championships in Finland went horribly wrong, with the Russian competitor dying after suffering severe burns from withstanding 230-degree temperatures for six minutes. The Finn retained his title by only having to go to the hospital. [BBC]

The only thing that stands between us and a gold medal rematch with the Canadians is Finland, the Canada of Europe. Try out your umlauts and doubled vowels in the comments.

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