A few final notes, before we disappear back to our mothers' basements where we belong:
If you thought we're being lazy for only doing this once a year, imagine how lazy you'll think we're being when we make one of our entries the...
When Deadspin asked us to write these articles, we went back and forth a few times on the date, and eventually settled on Sept. 22. I'd like to believe that somehow, that's because we knew, or perhaps sensed, that this article was going to be published on Sept. 20.
Murray Chass is still writing a blog about how he hates blogs. It's pretty delightful, in an Away from Her kind of way. Sometimes he even writes about baseball. He's usually wrong. Let's say "fuck" a bunch!
Certain moments in our lives we will always remember.
There's something in this article that is incredibly weird and scary. So, as you prepare to read it...just be cool. Relax your shoulders. Buy a nice sound machine and set it to "Babbling Brook." Take deep breaths, in through your nose, out through your mouth.
Yo, you like tits? Yeah, me too. Titties is awesome.
Junior: Ladies and gentlemen, this is a Fire Joe Morgan first.
Hey, kids — Mitch Albom has some advice for you! And here it is!
Have you heard that Derek Jeter's having an off year? It's total horseshit! Derek Jeter is the sixth-best hitter in baseball this year. It's completely true!
Lock up your Plaschkes and hide your David Eckstein bobbleheads tomorrow, shitbirds, because Ken Tremendous, DAK, and Junior return to plunge a pointy stake into the flaccid heart of sports journalism once again. Who's excited? GETEXCITED.