Goodbye, cruel internet. Again.

Hi everyone! Did you guys say you wanted us to write another thing about Derek Jeter? Okay! Your funeral!!!

Sure, we don't know our football all that well. But that's actually part of the reason we feel pretty justified calling bullshit on Tom Curran's list of "Five Players Ready to Become NFL Superstars."

(via JayBusbee)

One of our favorite gambits here at FJM is the old "use the exception that proves the rule to yell at someone for not thinking the exception is the rule" gambit.

Steroids steroids steroids, you crazy son of a bitch. What have you gone and done now? You've made Gene Wojciechowski write this little bit of insanity.

This is a weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: La Scala Opera House.

What would an FJM reunion be without the mocking of an ancient, stat-hating, online weblog writer who insists that his online weblog is not a blog?

(GolfTippin via Shane Bacon)

He's good at what he does (for Jeter, it's baseball; for Jesus, it's healing the sick or whatever). People love him. He says and does the right things at all the right times.