If you're searching for the world's greatest fisherman look no further. And here I thought it was the guy on the Gorton's fishsticks box. Anyway, a British angler has caught nine species of shark, including the great white, which led some international organization of big-game fishermen to dub him the bestest, better than all the restest. But can he touch me in Sega Bass Fishing for the Wii? Dream on, shark boy.
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Leave it to TWWL to ruin the last peaceful, comforting leisure activity I had left. The Bassmaster Classic is upon us, and of course ESPN is televising it (11 hours worth!) with enough hype to make Berman scream at an intern. Exactly how much hype? Well, they literally have fireworks. Also they describe one of the contestants thusly:
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We consider fishing a sport, though we're not sure why; we're generally pleased to classify pretty much anything a sport, because everything's better when it's competitive. So, therefore, a terrifyingly huge freaking fish.
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One day at the lake: "Hey, nice string of fish you've got there. What are you using for bait?" "I'm using Pete!" A Somerset, England fishing enthusiast has changed his will so that his remains will be used as bait at his favorite fishing spot. And Pete Hodge, 51, says that it could be soon: He has Motor Neurone Disease. Mmmm, those fish will be good eatin'!
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Gerald Swindle is known as the G-Man, and he likes rock 'n roll music (I'm guessing from his website) and catchin' fish. That's him crying in the picture. He's crying because he's a huge dick.
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While Japan and Cuba were duking it out in San Diego for the first World Baseball Classic title, a few miles away two other sportsmen were writing their own chapter in the history books. Meet Mac Weakley and Jed Dickerson, who on Monday caught a 25.1-pound bass. That's one whopping huge-ass bass in case you don't know; just slightly smaller than the ones you see filling up the entire boat on those comical vacation postcards. Weakley and Dickerson landed the largemouth at Dixon Lake, a reservoir near Carlsbad, Calif. Yeah, we know you're dying to know, so we'll tell you; they used a white jig with a skirt and rattle on 15-pound line. The fish surpassed what is called the DiMaggio 56-game hitting streak of bass records, and although we're a little confused by the parallel, we suppose we get the drift. The previous biggest, the legendary Perry Bass caught in 1922 in Georgia, weighed in at 22 1/4 pounds. Ha! A minnow.
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The "Super Bowl of Fishing" has put another day in the books, cutting the field down to 25 for tomorow's finale. For those of you who joined the Deadspin Bass Fishing Fantasy League, know that Luke Clausen is still in the lead with 44 total pounds of fishies. Terry Scroggins had the biggest haul of the day, though, with 28 pounds and six ounces of fishies.
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We really can't blame ESPN for this, because we suppose somebody has to host something like this, but we have spent that last half an hour giggling about fantasy fishing. We're sure there's someone out there in a smoke-filled poker room, staring down opposing owners in a game of fantasy fishing auction chicken, and, honestly, we might want to meet that person, albeit from a safe distance.
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