The Daily Mail wrote a story about a father-daughter fishing expedition where, according to the two of them, that tiny girl hauled in that 9 ft. 200lb catfish. Dad says he helped, but his little lass is getting all the credit because it was hooked on her rod and she struggled for 20 minutes to haul it in. Why do I get the feeling this is going to be another one of those boy-kills-giant-hog stories?

(via SBB)

*****

Good morning. It's Thursday. Let's go.

Corporal Jason Spakman took first prize in the fishing competition with this beauty, caught in one of Saddam's man-made lakes at the Al Faw Palace Complex, which was formerly used by Baath Party big shots. The building in the background is part of the Victory Over America Palace, which was unfinished due to several pesky U.S. bombs in 2003. From Julie Dermansky's blog:

The man-made lakes around the palace complex are stocked with bass and carp. Soldiers fish at various spots on the base. This year's "Operation Catch Fish" was the second annual fishing competition in Baghdad. Jason recieved a 26 inch flat screen TV as his prize. This year 450 troops participated in the event, up from 250 the first year. The organizers plan to bring another 250 poles next year despite talk of a draw down of troops.

More photos here.

And after a day of fishing, a little golf. Lt. William Thomas from Texas launching a few from the JVB hotel. We all remember the JVB Hotel, right?

Dermansky is a New York photojournalist embedded with various U.S. military units in Iraq. Her next assignment: Prowling the border between Iraq and Iran, which should be a barrel of laughs.

Baghdad's Flintstone Village [Julie Dermanky's Blog]
Julie Dermansky Main Site

Saturday, Dec. 6; Plaxico Burress and some pals aboard the Lady Pamela II out of Fort Lauderdale. Captain's log:

"Fishing started off slow, not much was around. But before we knew it, a sailfish ate the right short bait and started jumping. It put on a good fight and a great show....until he fell off. The bait went back out hoping for another bite. We didn't get a sailfish bite, but we did manage to catch a few blue runners and vermilion snappers for them to take home for dinner. We were losing daylight quickly and needed it for the type of fishing we wanted to do. They enjoyed themselves and went home with fresh fish.

Tight Lines!
Captain David Ide
Lady Pamela II Fishing Charters

If you're searching for the world's greatest fisherman look no further. And here I thought it was the guy on the Gorton's fishsticks box. Anyway, a British angler has caught nine species of shark, including the great white, which led some international organization of big-game fishermen to dub him the bestest, better than all the restest. But can he touch me in Sega Bass Fishing for the Wii? Dream on, shark boy.

Zyg Gregorek, 65, is the first recreational fisherman anywhere to catch all 27 species in the three so-called "royal slams" set by the International Game Fish Association (IGFA) - hooking nine species of shark, including the great white, ten of billfish and eight of tuna.

I'm pretty sure "royal slam" is an entree at Denny's, but impressive none the less.

It's not all fun and games, though; there are amusing accidental injuries as well.

"I caught a black marlin in Mozambique and when I jumped in to celebrate, I cut my leg on the propeller."

That'll teach you to mess with Jacque Jones.

"You know, Kevin's compared to Tiger Woods, Tom Brady, and you ask yourself why. How does bass fishing connect here? If you look at this guy, if you look at him on the water, off the water, he is all business. And one thing to be sure here, rumor has it that he is dialed in out there right now."

Anyway, there is one compelling matchup here which I will be sure not to miss: ESPN vs. PETA.

The Bassmaster Classic Is Underway And The Tom Brady Of Fishing Is On The Scene [Awful Announcing]
FishingHurts.com

This is a warsaw grouper weighing 359.1 pounds, and it's a real fish, one that came from the waters of Louisiana. Again, we're not sure if it is classified as "sports," but man, we're not too comfortable living in a world in which fish can grow to 359 pounds. Heck, that thing could pitch for the Indians at this rate.

If I Showed You, I'd Have To Kill You [The Sports Oasis]

Pete's plan is that his remains will be mixed into groundbait for his friends to use, rather than asking them to force small strips of his flesh onto their hooks. Groundbait is a mixture put in the water by anglers to attract fish to the area they're preparing to fish - and many fishermen guard their recipes jealously.

Oh, and he's also made his own coffin; a giant wicker fishing basket. Um, life? We're about done here. Check, please?

Angler Wants To Be Fish Food [Metro.co.uk]
Tonight, He Sleeps With The Fishes [The Sun]

Jones, 60, is an avid angler. A divorcé with no family nearby, he sometimes stayed at the shop for hours. He had friends here. So when he placed second in a fishing tournament two weeks ago, the regulars expected he would show up the next morning to crow about it, just as he did after a win the week before. But his moment of triumph — his trophy plaque and $886 — was the one that got away. He left the winner's circle that day in handcuffs, facing a felony count of theft by deception. Fishermen at the boat ramp cheered his arrest. Others were moved to anger. Fishermen can forgive all kinds of transgressions, but not cheating.

"What he did, he did to every fisherman. It's like a brotherhood," said Skeeter Law, owner of the boat shop frequented by Jones. "He's done lost any kind of trust that he had."

George Mitchell and Bud Selig, you are worthless and weak. Sigh. If only baseball had more guys named Skeeter.

Missouri Fisherman's Cheating Charge Makes Him An Outcast [St. Louis Post-Dispatch]

At least, that's the implication from the people in charge of BASS, which stands for... I don't know, fishing. The BASS people disqualified Swindle's Day 2 catch at the Bassmaster Classic because of "unsafe boating." Swindle drove his boat a little too close to someone else's boat. I guess that's a no-no.

Fortunately for all of us, there's video of the hair-rasing incident. You can find it at the bottom of the story here. First, you see Swindle's boat motoring into frame, as he makes some sort of gesture. Then he cruises past and leaves two fellow fisherman alone with their unbridled rage.

GeraldSwindle.com
Swindle's Day 2 catch disqualified, will miss final [ESPN.com Outdoors]

The Weakley-Dickerson bass is now the champ, causing much rejoicing in Carlsbad, where people are gathering paper plates and potato salad in anticipation of the state's largest-ever fish fry.

Um, except that they aren't. Actually, after weighing the bass, taking pictures of it and filming it, Weakley threw it back in the drink. It was a noble gesture, but a potentially costly one; fishing experts say that, had they kept it, it could have been worth as much as $1 million in endorsements. Some are even saying that because the bass cannot be examined, the record may not stand. So now, all that remains are memories, and a lingering, fishy odor. We raise our beer cans to you, Mac Weakley and Jed Dickerson. There may be little honor left on the playing fields of professional sports, but out on small rural lakes, some people still know what integrity is. Yes, swim o' mighty bass. Swim free! But go to the other side of the boat; we have to take a leak.

World Record Bass Boated in California [ESPN Outdoors]

The point of the post is a comparison between your average curling fan and your average bass fishing fan. Your curling fan, the argument goes, is almost certainly a curler themselves; "if you're excited about curling, you are probably in the running for the Olympic team."

But as they put it, your average television bass fishing fan is something decidedly different: "I want you to think about the kind of person who sits on the couch and watches bass fishing on TV. If your brain is being honest with you then you just pictured a sub-literate mongoloid on Social Security for disability. He has a terminal illness and he is trying to stretch every remaining moment of his simple-minded life out as long as possible."

Ooof.

In Defense Of Curling [Something Awful]

Jimmy Johnson is remarkably in 15th place after winning last week's Daytona 500, making him the greatest cross-sport superstar since Bo Jackson. Alright, I know it isn't the same guy, but it's not like it isn't possible. He wouldn't be the first guy to ever fish and drive in the same day. Anyway, I've got a few questions about this thing.

1) What happens to the fish after they're caught, and the guy takes the picture holding them up? Stuffed and mounted? Fileted, fried and given to the homeless?
2) Could any of these guys make more money by going to work for Long John Silvers or Mrs. Paul?
3) How much skill is involved here? I know there's some knowledge involved in picking the lure, the location, etc. But isn't the guy who catches the heaviest fish just the luckiest? Is it somehow harder to catch the fish with a weight problem?
4) Why does that one guy yell at the fish? Does he think he's cool?
5) What would stop a guy from catching a fish and stuffing some little weights in its mouth?
6) If you mistakenly reel in an old boot, does that count?

Anyway, since we don't have the foggiest idea what fantasy fishing might entail, we've decided to start up our own Fantasy Fishing ESPN League. We encourage you all to join right here. We have no idea what will happen, or what we're supposed to do, but we think if we get fired up enough, we can take over ESPN's fantasy fishing game. Winner of the Deadspin Fantasy Fishing League will receive a free copy of our book, which, while not exactly a "prize," can at least be chopped into sashimi if necessary. Come on in!

Deadspin Fantasy Fishing [ESPN Outdoors]

(UPDATE: Apparently we're too late to enter "lineups" of "anglers" for this week's "games." Join anyway, and we'll get 'em next week.)

(SECOND UPDATE: Looks like the game site is down right now. Overflow!)