The Ballghazi Takes Are Here, And They Are Fucking Insane

You knew they were coming, America. The second the Patriots got busted for doctoring footballs, you knew the TAKENAMI would rush in. And VERILY IT HAS COME TO PASS. Oh, people. Oh, this is my Christmas. These takes are so pure in their stridency, so firm in their conviction that ROGER GOODELL MUST ACT… I feel… »1/21/15 11:22am1/21/15 11:22am


Asshole Cannot Find Pen, Writes Entire NYT Trend Piece About It

Even by the standards of fake trend pieces in the The New York Times, today's column in about "The Demise of the Pen" in—where else?—the fashion and style section is exceptionally breathtaking in its presumptuousness. Join me now and marvel as writerer Nick Bilton turns a moment of sheer banality into a full-blown… »7/24/14 10:09am7/24/14 10:09am

Who Is This Hack Who Wrote About Colin Kaepernick's Tattoos, And Why Is He Such A Racist Dicktroll?

So this had no purpose but to get attention, and now it has: a remarkably racist column about biracial 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick written by AOLSportingNewsFanhouseBleacherMuckrackGrid writer David Whitley. Kaepernick's parents have already seen it and openly lambasted it. And KSK's Mike Tunison pointed out that AOL… »11/30/12 11:40am11/30/12 11:40am

Rick Reilly Has Golf Jokes For You Because Rick Reilly Is Everything Horrible About ESPN

Do me a favor right now: Drive out to your local exurb. Now, find the nearest Cheesecake Factory in that exurb, walk up to the bar, and try and spot the 40-year-old fellow wearing pleated chinos, loafers, and a button-down shirt with his real-estate company's logo on it. You see that guy? THAT is Rick Reilly's… »5/21/12 11:55am5/21/12 11:55am

Haughty Dipshit Gregg Easterbrook Makes Us Ask: What Is A Glory Boy?

If you've hung out around this site in the past, you know that we consider ESPN fartsniffer Gregg Easterbrook to be a haughty dipshit. When Easterbrook isn't spending inches of column space attacking the plot holes in an episode of Human Target (He does just that this week, which is timely!), he's indulging in his… »5/02/12 9:55am5/02/12 9:55am

Gregg Easterbrook Puts The Final, Retarded Exclamation Point On Obama's Bracketology-Gate

You only need to see the headline and the byline to know what you're in for with yesterday's breathtakingly pointless Easterbrook essay about President Obama filling out a March Madness bracket. Yes, some people are still actually debating this. BLACKIEHUSSEINBRACKETGATE! Let's dive in, shall we? »3/30/11 11:30am3/30/11 11:30am