According to the AP, "It's not immediately clear how he got Ashley Slonina's credit card. Slonina, also a University of Florida student, died in a motorcycle accident in 2007 along with another football player, redshirt freshman Michael Guilford."

Yeah, Hornsby appears to be kind of a heartless dick. Enjoy playing safety at junior college next year. At least he'd actually get a chance to start there.

Florida player charged for using dead girl's credit card [SI]
Gators' safety Jamar Hornsby charged with using dead girl's credit card [Orlando Sentinel]

Tebow, famous for his charity and missionary work, spent his spring break in The Philippines. What was he doing? Circumcizing children.

"The first time, it was nerve-racking," he said. "Hands were shaking a little bit. I mean, I'm cutting somebody. You can't do those kinds of things in the United States. But those people really needed the surgeries. We needed to help them."

Richard Moleno, a Florida graduate and aspiring doctor, said: "You could see he was really into it. He thought it was cool. I'd make a stitch, he'd cut a stitch. He got his hands a little wet in surgery."

Tebow is to be commended for his sense of duty to help the downtrodden; we salute him. So, now that that's out of the way ... BLECH.

Tebow Begins Work On His Doctorate [The Wizard Of Odds]

I've long wondered if it's better for a top program to win the NIT or to bow out in the early rounds. As when West Virginia won last year, it often gives a whiff of overcompensation - like the guy who sets picks and commits hard fouls in a game for charity. But there's no doubt that I'm rooting hard for this final to happen. The comedy potential is just too great. (Ed. Note: Stuff like this always makes us afraid there are cosmic forces at work, and it freaks us. This game should be broadcast by John Locke from "Lost.")

Hat tip: [The Meaningful Collateral]

Yes, this is a special commemorative T-shirt that honors "Florida Quarterback"'s winning of the Heisman Trophy this year. Not Tim Tebow, mind you, but "Florida Quarterback."

We congratulate "Florida Quarterback" on his "Heisman Trophy" and hope he can continue to earn the University of Florida millions of dollars while being unable to cash in on his own "Florida Quarterback" status.

Reebok Men's Heisman Trophy Tee [East Bay]

At this point, nearly every major bowl projection has Illinois in either the Capital One Bowl or the Outback Bowl — both New Years Day games — playing ... Florida! (There is one rather shocking exception.) That's right, the Zook Bowl is imminent. The game has no downside for Illini fans (taking on the defending champs — and presumed Heisman Trophy winner? — on January 1? Whoa!), but for Florida fans, a loss to Zook on New Years Day has to be the nightmare scenario. If we're a Gators fan, we use every bit of praying power we have to sneak us into a BCS game. That's a comparison none of them would like made.

That said, Florida would kill the Illini. We're not there yet. But hey: The Zook Water Skiing Photo!

College Bowl Predictions [CBS Sportsline]
Illini Roll [Decatur Herald & Review]

Yep, the former Bulldog star is ready to rumble with the Ole Ball Coach.

"Well, you know, is that not insulting? That's totally insulting for a coach of his stature to say something so stupid," said Walker, getting angrier by the syllable. "So my question I say to him is, if he's got that much guts, why don't he step in a ring against me? You don't say something that silly, because you're going to get somebody hurt. Georgia was punished, because that's a penalty. They didn't go out to hurt anyone. [Spurrier] talks about hurting somebody. How much guts do you have? Step in a ring with me, and then we'll see."

Whatever your thoughts about Spurrier — or Walker, or Georgia, or just violent mayhem — it's pretty impossible not to enjoy the mental picture of a Herschel Walker-Steve Spurrier battle royale. Maybe Daniel Snyder could officiate.

Herschel Takes Spurrier's Bait [Atlanta Journal Constitution]

It was like a bum rush, a whole team streaming onto the field to celebrate an otherwise routine touchdown. It was fun to see a major college football team react as like they were a 12-year-old girls' softball team. And now, sadly, Georgia coach Mark Richt is apologizing.

"Again, I was expecting the eleven players on the field to be doing the celebrating, not for the bench to clear as it did," Richt wrote in his letter to Slive. "I understand that the entire team running on the field created the potential for an altercation and that excessive celebration is not in compliance with the Southeastern Conference sportsmanship policies and expected standards. My only intention was to create enthusiasm."

Bah! Let the freak flag fly, Mark! We think after every touchdown, not only should every player run on the field, but they should do some sort of dance routine. We recommend starting out with "Thriller," and working one's way up from there.

Richt Apologizes For TD Celebration [Atlanta Journal Constitution]

The event honored University of Florida basketball coach Billy Donovan, who agreed to coach the Orlando Magic before changing his mind and going back to the Gators. Among the food available at the Miracles snack bar that evening were waffles, of course.

In second place was the Portland Beavers' Bob L. Head Night, in which three actual guys named Bob L. Head competed, with the winner immortalized with his own bobblehead likeness. Personally, I would have voted for the West Virginia Power's Redneck Olympics, which included the cow pie toss and outhouse races. But that's just me.

(Thanks to Spencer Cordell for the photo).

Billy Donovan Night Scores Miracle Award [The News-Press]
Minor Enterprise [Deadspin]

Tony Joiner, a senior safety and the only upperclassman among the Gators' starting defensive backs, was arrested by Gainesville police early Tuesday morning and charged with a second-degree felony for allegedly attempting to steal his girlfriend's car from a towing service's impound yard. Joiner was booked at 6:07 a.m. and later was released on his own recognizance, according to police reports. He is the eighth Florida football player in the past nine months to find legal trouble. Joiner did not practice with the team Tuesday and Florida coach Urban Meyer said that his starting strong safety would not practice with the team until "I find out everything.''

For decades, man has yearned to be free of the tyranny of the towing yard; it's tough to find free parking at a college or university, and people who run these corrupt towing operations are making money off of our misery. Now finally someone had the guts to do something about it. I say rush the impound lots and free all the cars!

UF Safety Joiner Charged With Theft [Miami Herald]

Sunday morning, 2 a.m.: I am writing this now because I cannot sleep, because my team's season is ruined. Obliterated.

I could be an Oklahoma fan. Or a West Virginia fan. Or a Texas fan. Or even a Rutgers fan. As it happens, I am a Florida fan. What we share is the fate that in Week 5, our team's seasons are effectively over.

Oh, sure, conference titles might still be up for grabs. But this season was about competing for a national championship. A spot in a BCS bowl simply isn't the same.

As every week seems to need some sort of forced made-for-TV alliterative hook, this past was "Shat-Away Saturday." Survey the carnage among the national-title contenders:

Oklahoma: Optimistic Sooners fans weren't just looking ahead to the Texas game. They were looking ahead to the BCS title game. Season shat away.

Florida: Guuuuhhhhh! I heard Tim Tebow's post-game tears triggered 24-hour coverage on the Weather Channel. Season shat away.

West Virginia: Wait, didn't we see this result last year in Morgantown? So why would it be different in Tampa? Season shat away.

Texas: I hate the word "pwned," but it probably fits the relationship between UT fans and Kansas State fans. Season shat away.

Rutgers: After tasting the good life a year ago, the irony is that this team was even better: Fans actually BELIEVED this time. Suckers. Season shat away.

This last entry is a critical one: Rooting for a perennial national contender is exciting in theory, but the expectations are crippling.

One bad loss: The season is a bust. You can slap labels on it like "seasoning" or "rebuilding" or "fluke," but that's all rationalizing.

When I was at Northwestern in the early 90s, we regularly noted there is something to be said for rooting for a sorry team like NU, where mere "bowl eligibility" — looking at the schedule and talking yourself into seeing six wins — is the annual dream.

So, for fans of a team like Illinois, an unexpected win over a ranked team like Penn State is, in its temporary way, as sweet as winning a championship. (Ed. Note: This is true.)

Oklahoma or West Virginia fans could end up with a BCS at-large bowl bid and they would STILL be bitter; Illini fans will flock to the Motor City Bowl and celebrate like they're in the national championship. (Ed. Note: Or the Champs Sports Bowl!)

For fans of national contenders — in this or any season — there is no such thing as an unexpected win... just unexpected losses.

Soul-crushing, mind-imploding, sleep-depriving losses. How effing disturbing is it to ponder dissatisfaction with an 11-win season? (Cripes: I almost typed "10-win season," until I realized those 2 losses would make the season damn near unredeemable. Seriously: This is so wrong. But then I wonder: If my season is all but ruined with 1 or 2 losses, how does a Notre Dame fan feel at 0-5? Unfathomable.)

Personally, I am reduced to wondering if my new Tebow jersey should be mothballed permanently for its bad juju... to watching 10-month-old DVR recordings of last year's national title game... to peeking ahead to next year's schedule (and this year's depth chart) and to plotting explanations why next year's team WILL be the national champ (and rationalizing why Saturday's loss, um, helps)... and to bracing myself for an ass-kicking next week in Baton Rouge.

Yeesh: It's only Week 5? It's a long road 'til next season's national title. But at least now the expectations can start earlier.

Wait: But... but... Florida lost last year to Auburn, then recovered to win the national title! Can we talk about this...? What about the fact that Florida is the highest-ranked of the 1-loss teams? Nooooooo... help meeee....

This Week's Bandwagon: South Florida
College football is built on tradition. Decades upon decades of tradition, allowing long-baked rivalries and attitudes to flourish.

So how do you feel about South Florida? Here's a program that didn't even EXIST 15 years ago. How can you hate them? Then again, how can you love them? How can you feel anything about them?

On the other hand, in the hierarchy of college football jobs, managing a powerhouse like Texas or USC seems relatively easy (aside from expectations). Turning around a long-standing dud, like Rutgers, is much harder. But hardest of all would be to create a program from scratch, then turn it into a national powerhouse — in one decade.

(No wait, I take it back: Hardest of all would be being given the keys to the most prominent brand name in college sports history and managing to run it into the ground in just three seasons. Rah, Charlie Weis!)

More than anything, it speaks to the motherlode of talent to be found recruiting in Florida. Jim Leavitt took Florida, FSU and Miami's sloppy fourths and turned those recruits into a Top 10 team.

USF has a tough schedule left: Believe it or not, at Rutgers, at UConn and home against Cincy suddenly reads like a daunting gauntlet.

But if the Bulls can survive it unscathed, combined with a signature non-conference win over the team that just beat Florida in Gainesville, it's not crazy to consider South Florida a BCS title-game contender.

My BlogPoll Ballot Top 10
1. LSU
AP finally catches up with the bloggers.
2. South Florida
Officially the best team in the state.
3. Cal
But are they ready to dethrone USC?
4. Ohio State
Played at UW tougher than USC.
5. USC
Just lucky Jake Locker is a spaz.
6. Boston College
Defied my prediction of a 1-AA upset.
7. Wisconsin
What happened to the stout D?
8. Kentucky
This can't possibly last, can it?
9. Cincinnati
Cincy is my new Rutgers, apparently.
10. Florida/Oklahoma (tie)
Both played like ass.
Here's Here's my complete BlogPoll ballot this week.

Rankings Ranting: Cripes, anyone else think they had a handle on the field before Saturday? I was pretty curious to see how the pollsters would handle it.

As it happens, the most important detail is this: Where (and how) do the pollsters rank last week's six previously unbeaten Top 10 teams, which would indicate which one-loss team has the inside track in the event of losses to the teams ahead of them?

Advantage: Florida. The Gators are 7th in the Coaches poll (9th AP), then Oklahoma (10/10), then WVU (12/13), then Oregon (13/14), then Texas (16/19), then Rutgers (21). (Of course, after Florida gets shellacked at LSU, this will be moot.)

Seriously: What happens now? Suddenly, LSU-Florida is no longer the Game of the Year. Oklahoma-Texas is the Dud River Rivalry. USC-Cal is shaping up as a de facto national semifinal. Oh, and South Florida is America's Team.

I suppose fans of the one-loss erstwhile contenders could look to last year's Florida team for hope: Those Gators lost early to Auburn, yet ended up winning the national title. But that team needed all sorts of cockeyed help, like USC losing to UCLA and Lloyd Carr's rhetorical and political ineptitude. You just can't count on that this year.

But with only 15 unbeaten teams remaining (LSU, USC, Cal, OH St, Wisco, USF, BC, Kent'y, Hawaii, Mizzou, AZ St, Cincy, Purdue, UConn, Kansas) and only five weeks of the season gone by, there's always the chance — maybe even the inevitability, given those teams' remaining schedules — that NO teams will finish unbeaten.

Looking Ahead to Next Week's Schedule:

It cannot possibly get any more crazy than this past weekend, can it? Except if LSU, Ohio State, Wisconsin, Kentucky, Mizzou and Cincy all lose, then Oklahoma and Texas agree that the winner gets to strike last week's loss from their official record. All could happen!

Florida at LSU: Perhaps Saturday's biggest loser was the Tigers, whose thumping of Florida won't be nearly as impressive now as it would have been had the Gators been unbeaten and ranked No. 2 or 3.
Pick: LSU.

Oklahoma vs. Texas (in Dallas): The question is, which team is more pissed their season's hopes and dreams were shot to hell the previous week? And how to do they focus that rage?
Pick: Oklahoma.

Kentucky at South Carolina: Suddenly, the SEC East looks available for the taking by new national MVP favorite Andre' Woodson. (First-name apostrophes are the new Heisman pose.)
Pick: Kentucky.

Ohio State at Purdue: The Buckeyes side-stepped last weekend's epidemic of upsets, but the Boilermakers' offense — and home-field advantage — might be enough to trip them up this time.
Pick: Purdue.

Cincinnati at Rutgers: If this year's South Florida is last year's Rutgers and this year's Cincinnati is last year's USF, then this year's Rutgers is last year's West Virginia: The team up-and-coming programs want to knock off to prove their legitimacy.
Pick: Cincinnati.

As usual, send any comments or questions to danshanoff-[at]-gmail-[dot]-com.

The original name of this guest-post was "Dan Shanoff Is The Tebow," so it was inevitable that I would devote at least some space to Florida's QB — who, after a mere four games, is the rock star of the year in college football. Saturday, Tebow accounted for 426 yards of offense, the hard way: 260 passing (with 2 TDs) and a Florida-record 160 rushing (with another 2 TDs). Heisman buzz is rampant, and fanboy panting is near-universal.

Tim Tebow's exploits are college football fans' new version of the famous improv joke, "The Aristocrats." See how far you can take your own story that ends "And THAT'S how special Tim Tebow is." Here's mine:

A few months ago, my in-laws and their friends ran into Tebow in Gainesville's Outback Steakhouse. He signed a greasy menu for my kid. By the time the menu arrived at my apartment, the grease stain had morphed into the outline of a workable plan to offer universal health-care to every American, including illegals. And THAT's how special Tim Tebow is.

Over the last three weeks, I watched Tebow play twice in person. (Cripes: I even broke down and bought a Tebow jersey.) He is a freak of talents. I have yet to come up with the proper QB analogue. Let me try:

If Matt Leinart fathered a son — with Tommie Frazier — THAT would be Tim Tebow. (Some Florida fans might demand I use "Paul Bunyan" and "Jesus" as the parents, but even by Tebow standards, that seemed excessive. How about "Jack Bauer" and "Jesus?")

What screws up the equation is that, unlike Leinart, Tebow is apparently a spectacular person. He's grounded, outgoing and pleasant and always signs autographs. He gives talks in prisons, then hugs the inmates. He took a nationally televised kiss from his roommate/teammate without worrying about his masculinity. He's enthusiastic, but without the dickishness that made JJ Redick or Joakim Noah (or Matt Leinart) so nationally hateable.

Tebow is super-religious and does a lot of evangelizing, but — as a non-Evangelical — what I appreciate most is that you never get that sense on the football field from him. No ironically sacrilegious "First off, I want to thank God" in interviews about a football game. No palms clasped, looking skyward, immediately after touchdowns; he seems to prefer the Gator Chomp.

If you listen to the rumors (or check out the tribute site Tim Tebow Facts), Tebow cures the sick. Tebow makes ovaries weep. Tebow always picks the perfect NFL Fantasy roster. Tebow should run the Fed. Tebow could fix Iraq. Tebow is who guys want to be and women want to be with. (Hell: Guys, too. What? Oh, like you wouldn't.)

This is what we have been reduced to: This 19-year-old with all of four college starts as more myth than man.

Where are Tebow's flaws? For starters, the ball he throws usually wobbles like an SEC sorority girl after a night with grain and Lik-a-Stik. And he hasn't faced down an 80-yard drive with two minutes left, down five, in Baton Rouge. Then again, Tebow is the real-life Optimus Prime.

A backlash is inevitable, and I'm fascinated to see when it happens. This week? After a loss (or win) at LSU? End of the season? Next year? If/when he returns for his senior season?

I had always seen this season as a warm-up for Tebow. With a year of full-time starting under his belt and a more favorable schedule in 2008, I had pictured him making his Heisman and national-title run next season. But myths won't wait — and neither will hyperbole.

Wait: I heard that on Saturday morning, Tim Tebow winked in the direction of Ann Arbor and saved Michigan's season. And a drop of his sweat rubbed into your back permanently rids you of unwanted hair. And then then there's this, which speaks for itself...

More From This Weekend: Cripes, what the hell happened to Louisville?... Notre Dame still sucks, but at least the "perfection" of 0-8 is still on the table... Will everyone shut up about Nick Saban now?... Is Cincinnati the most underrated team in the country?... Donovan McNabb must have been watching the Texas Tech-Oklahoma State game... Nothing says "midseason" like "Steve Spurrier is yanking his starting QB"... So if Appalachian State beat Michigan and Wofford beat App State, does that mean we can reasonably conclude Wofford is better than Michigan?

So Surreal That It's Worth Its Own Item: So, like many of you, I was sitting there watching Georgia and Alabama in OT. Bama had just kicked a field goal and Georgia was about to take the field. The Alabama crowd is going nuts. Play-by-play guy Mike Patrick says to analyst Todd Blackledge "I have an important question..."

There is a pause. Like many viewers, I have given Patrick my particular attention, waiting for his trenchant query, perfectly suiting an incredibly dramatic college football moment. Then Patrick continues:

"What is Britney doing with her life?"

There is dead silence on the air. Let me continue the scene...

Blackledge: "Who?"
Patrick: "Britney!"
More uncomfortable silence.
Blackledge: "Britney who?"
Patrick: "Spears!"
More uncomfortable silence.
Patrick: "What is she doing with her career?"
More uncomfortable silence.
Now: Uncomfortable laughter.
Blackledge: "Why do we care at this point?"
Good point. More uncomfortable silence.
Blackledge: "Is she here?"
Patrick: "I don't think so."
Blackledge: "Is she a football fan?"
Patrick: "Aw, I'm sure she is."
More awkward silence. Pleasehikepleasehike...
Patrick: "Georgia from the 25..."

And...scene! On that very play, Georgia proceeds to score the game-winning touchdown on that play, blissfully ending any further airtime for Patrick to obsess about Britney. Here's the video.

My BlogPoll ballot Top 10:
1. LSU
"Werewolf with a chainsaw for a penis."
2. USC
Meh. I'm still not buying.
3. Oklahoma
I picked them to lose at Tulsa. My bad.
4. Florida
A little too close for comfort in Oxford.
5. Rutgers
Defeated mighty "Idle" to stay in Top 5.
6. West Virginia
Coming up: Rematch with South Florida.
7. Ohio State
Last week's dis yields this week's love.
8. Cal
Entire season comes down to...at Oregon?
9. Boston College
Toughest game remaining? Yes: UMass!
10. Texas
Two weeks until Red River Shootout.
Rising: Cincinnati, Missouri
My complete BlogPoll Top 25 ballot this week.

Looking Ahead to Next Week:
First, a quick mea culpa: I totally blew last week's "Upset Special" of Tulsa over Oklahoma. I didn't even get it right if you factor in the 20-plus point spread. You'll notice above that I leap-frogged the Sooners over my Gators as penance. That, and OU deserves it more.

Big East: West Virginia at South Florida. Friday night special! I'm a big believer in revenge as motivation. Last year, USF went up to Morgantown and ruined the Eers' BCS shot. WVU enjoys payback.
Pick: West Virginia

Pac-10: Cal at Oregon. Call it a "Pac-10 Play-In": The winner has the inside track to be to displace USC as the league's top dog. The loser's fans have to stop emailing me complaining about disrespect.
Pick: Oregon (Game of the Week!)

Big Ten: Michigan State at Wisconsin. The Spartans are 4-0, but are they for real? It's not like beating Notre Dame is enlightening. But beating the Badgers in Madison sure would be.
Pick: Wisconsin

SEC: Auburn at Florida. More revenge! Last year, the Tigers nearly ruined the Gators' championship season. Nearly. But that was Chris Leak and his dainty sensibilities. This is Tim Tebow.
Pick: Florida

Big 12: Kansas State at Texas. Rematch of an '06 thriller that officially KO'ed UT, then-defending national champs, from relevancy. Like WVU and UF, UT will find satisfaction in vengeance.
Pick: Texas

ACC: Clemson at Georgia Tech. Exactly the kind of tough mid-season road game at a wobbly opponent that usually blows Clemson's shot at an ACC Championship season.
Pick: Georgia Tech

I-AA vs. I-A: UMass at B.C.. The Eagles should be in your Top 10 by now. UMass is just the kind of I-AA (sorry: "F.C.S.") powerhouse that can't NOT shock its in-state big brother.
Pick: UMass (Upset Special!)

The Bandwagoneer at Home:

Yom Kippur on a Saturday puts a cramp on the Jewish college football viewer's style, but self-denial was a small price to pay for repentance. (Was it sacrilegious to DVR games unavailable to me during the day's observance, only to watch them in the evening?)

As always, send any comments, criticisms or questions to danshanoff-at-gmail-dot-com.

Yep: Andrew Meyer is a huge Bill Simmons fan, bro. From his post about the 2007 NBA Draft:

Before I get started, I wanted to acknowledge that yes, I read Bill Simmons. He is in fact my favorite sports writer. But let me be clear: I am not stealing his opinions, and I never will. The reason I like him so much is that he thinks much the same way I do. We probably read a lot of the same draft literature, and our opinions will converge at times. Actually, I just read his draft diary for this year, and we wrote down the exact same Stephen A. Smith quote. Coincidence? Unless you think I'm just aping his material, it is. And if you think that, well stop reading now, and who needs you anyway?

We think the Sports Feller would agree: Anyone who "steals" Simmons' "opinions" deserves a good Tasering.

The 2007 NBA Draft [The Andrew Meyer]

Of course, it can also be a hostile gesture, as Loser With Socks provides a guide for Tennessee fans to sleeping with Florida fans this weekend.

Remember Vawls, in order to pull Poon in the realm of the Gator, you must think as a Gator. Jorts are accepted there. I'm not saying wear them, nor am I condoning dawning them in a public setting. But if you can wrap your mind around the concept that shorts, formerly known as jeans, that are blue in colour, are as accepted as socks with sandals - then you're on your way to Pulling Gator Poon.

That might, frankly, be the only scoring the Vols do this weekend. Still: This feels wrong. Maybe we're just against inter-rivalry relationships. We hope that doesn't brand us a bigot.

Pulling Gator Poon [Losers With Socks]

We call it the Stephen Jackson method of self-defense. First, it was Sue, then our hero Jack, and now, Ronnie Wilson, a Florida Gators offensive lineman.

Suspended University of Florida offensive lineman Ronnie Wilson will face a pair of misdemeanor charges stemming from an April incident in which he was arrested and accused of firing an AK-47 rifle into the air to scare a man who had followed Wilson in his car after the men fought in a nightclub.

Why can't nightclub fights just be nightclub fights? What purpose behind a nightclub fight is so noble and just that it must be continue out beyond club doors? How many nightclub fights start for good reasons? Someone stepped on your shoe? Someone accidentally bumped into your Heineken? Someone was staring at your girl's ass? It's a nice ass, man, let it go.

So, yeah ... Mr. Wilson ends up with just misdemeanor charges. I know he didn't hurt anyone, and maybe it was a total act of self-defense, but I'm pretty firmly against the idea of anyone driving around with an AK-47 in their trunk. Either the gun, or Andrei Kirilenko.

UF Football Player Faces Gun Charges [TBO.com]
The Pacers Have Had A Busier Morning Than You [Deadspin]

You might have thought it strange or #### to see J.J. Redick fitted in those motion capture sensors for the NCAA video game last year, but that's nothing compared to the three Florida fellas on the cover of this year's game.

Joakim Noah is ... The Gay Falconer!

In The Game [Gainesville Sun]
Yeah, We Want To Simulate THIS Guy [Deadspin]

The Orlando Magic have decided that if Billy Donovan no longer wants to coach the team — and they are certain he doesn't — it is Donovan who will have to take the step to legally break his contract with the team. Those close to the situation told the Orlando Sentinel that the Magic expect Donovan soon to begin maneuvers to break the five-year, $27.5 million contract he signed with the team Friday — and then return as coach of the University of Florida Gators at some point. Until a settlement is reached, the Magic not only still consider him their coach but would take him back if he changed his mind again despite the fallout from his stunning reversal.

So who is on the Magic's short list now that Donovan has regained his senses had second thoughts? We bring you Stan Van Gundy, former coach of the Miami Heat, and Spurs assistant coach P.J. Carlesimo. What, no Rick Barry?

Orlando Magic Wait For Billy Donovan To Void Deal [Orlando Sentinel]

To which the Magic responded; fine. Be that way.

The Orlando Magic today will allow Billy Donovan out of his 5-year, $27.5 million contract that he signed on Friday. "It's over," said a source close to the situation. Donovan had reservations about leaving the Florida Gators for the NBA on Friday and spent all weekend trying to find a way to get out of his contract. On Saturday, Orlando Magic General Manager Otis Smith went to Gainesville to try to convince Donovan to honor the deal. Smith talked with Donovan again on Sunday, and so did Magic President Bob Vander Weide. Unless Donovan wakes up today and changes his mind, the Magic will let him go, the source said.

Meanwhile, there was further terrible regret, this time in the world of soccer, as David Beckham carefully examined his new Los Angeles Galaxy contract and discovered a glaring mistake ... that he's playing for the Los Angeles Galaxy.

David Beckham is having second thoughts about ending his playing career in the footballing backwater of the United States. The former England captain, 32, signed a five-year contract worth £125 million with LA Galaxy in January after being sidelined by Real Madrid as well as Steve McClaren's England. But while Beckham insists that his US move will not harm his chances of continuing his international comeback, his return and the reception he received from the 90,000-strong crowd at the new Wembley Stadium on Friday night have made him reconsider his desire to continue playing club football at a high level.

This will probably happen every time that the Tom Cruise Scientology brainwashing has a chance to begin to wear off.

Elsewhere in bitter regret:

• "Sorry for being so physical, and also for shooting Sonny on the causeway." — Phil Pronger

• "Sorry for blinding you with the pink." — Danilo Di Luca

• "Sorry for all the blow." — Milan goalkeeper Nicholas Caglioni

Orlando Magic Will Allow Billy Donovan To Return To Florida [Orlando Sentinel]
Sources: Donovan Wants Out Of Magic Deal [Fox Sports]
Beckham Fears He Has Made A Huge Mistake With Galaxy Deal [This Is London]

I cannot begrudge Billy Donovan for leaving Florida for the NBA. Not after he won back-to-back national titles. Simply put: He has earned the right to do whatever he wants, without anything from Gators fans except, "Thanks for the memories."

Still, the big question on Florida fans' minds: Why the hell would he leave behind what he has built?

For the money? How lame, particularly when you're talking about the difference between $4.X million and $5.X million. I hope that wasn't his motivation.

For the challenge? What, like joining the Rushmore of college coaches (Wooden, Knight, Smith, K) wasn't a tantalizing enough prospect? He'd rather figure out how to shake JJ Redick free for 10 3-point attempts a game?

For the location? I appreciate that coaching in Orlando lets him stay near his family, but what could be closer to his family than staying in Gainesville? In Gainesville, he is a god. In Orlando, he is out-ranked as a local attraction by Goofy.

And the final insult for any college fan, Florida or anywhere: What, exactly, is the lure of coaching in the NBA? On its face, it sounds like the shittiest job in sports.

Zero job security, with a "when" not "if" inevitability of a bad ending to nearly every coaching hire. (Welcome to Indiana, Jim O'Brien!) Star players who run the team. Financial realities that hamstring moves.

Roughest of all, the "Ring or Bust" mentality. Jerry Sloan is the ideal of NBA coaching longevity, yet he is best known for NOT winning a championship. And most of the coaches who have won a title recently (Jackson, Tomjanovich, Popovich) have enjoyed coaching the greatest players of their eras. Dwight Howard is the best post player in the East — not a bad foundation to build a contender — and they have double-digit cap millions to use (please God: NOT Vince Carter...hmm: Gerald Wallace?) But yeesh, those odds are still ugly.

Meanwhile, Billy D was on track to be one of the Top 5 most successful coaches in college hoops history. His style seemed MADE for college. (His weakness - Xs and Os - will be magnified in the NBA, while his strength - personality - will be mitigated.)

Gators fans have been through this before: When Steve Spurrier left for the NFL. Spurrier meekly (and inevitably) returned to college football — to some Florida wannabe. Gator fans, ultimately, were better off without him. But still: When the Ol' Ball Coach returns to Gainesville, the fans cheer him like he never left - for what he did while he was here.

We will feel the same way about Billy D. We don't have to agree with his decision today, but his legacy among fans is secure. Even after he realizes that coaching in the NBA sucks and he flees back to college hoops with another program. By then, Florida will be 100-plus wins into the Anthony Grant Era. Thanks to Billy.

You cannot be prepared for fun, or the gun, that this bull gator is bringing to your wallow tonight. Both are unprecedentedly awesome. I can honestly say that you are not prepared. Like Fred Taylor, you will be perpetually injured after I freak you like I'm gonna. Like Chris Leak, you will go down in a beautiful crushed heap again and again. Like Steve Spurrier, I'm going deep on you tonight. Like Ohio State's offensive line, you will be penetrated deeply, frequently, and completely. And in the end, there will be no need for overtime, because you are about to be Swamped. Brace yourself, Gator fan.

I'm about to show you my Tim Tebow stiffarm without using my arms. Consider yourself warned.

They will be running on EDSBS and Ladies ... — which just put up their Mets post — all week. We can't wait.

How To Make Love To A _________ Fan: Florida Edition [Every Day Should Be Saturday]

To the surprise of many — including us — it looks Billy Donovan is gonna stay at Florida after all.

Donovan told Kentucky athletics director Mitch Barnhart early Thursday morning by phone that he wasn't interested in leaving a Florida program that he led Monday to the national championship for the second consecutive year.

"After finally having an opportunity to sit down with my family, and with [Florida athletic director] Jeremy Foley, I've decided that I will remain at the University of Florida," said Donovan, a former Wildcats assistant under Rick Pitino.

We still think he should have left; he could gone down as the savior of both Florida basketball and Kentucky basketball. But what the hell do we know? Like we have any idea what coaching college basketball is all about. Apparently it's not just about scary Gordon Gekko-era hair gels.

Donovan To Remain At Florida And Talk Extension [ESPN]

We got the impression from some Florida fans that we were not giving the two-time champions the proper reverence in the wake of their victories, and if that's true, we apologize. We meant no harm. It is an outstanding achievement, whether or not Joakim Noah has unnatural feelings toward his mother. To show off our conciliatory nature, we present you with this video, of some Florida fans expressing their heartfelt appreciate for a championship in a manly, streetwise fashion.

Thanks to Every Day Should Be Saturday, we have the bizarre interview with Joakim Noah after the Gators' win last night which confirms, if you had any doubt, that nobody has the foggiest idea of what Joakim Noah's talking about.

You Have No Idea What He's Talking About [Every Day Should Be Saturday]

Another reason we need to lean on hypotheticals the day after the national championship game? The title game was like the rest of the tournament; uninspired and never much in doubt. Watching the "One Shining Moment" video, we realized that the most memorable moments of the tournament were Greg Oden's monster non-slam in the Final Four against Georgetown ... and Joakim Noah's weird Officer And A Gentleman deal with his mom after the victory. (Seriously, man ... we're all for loving your mom, but, well, we dunno ... seemed like a bit much.) The biggest upset was VCU over a weak Duke team, and we never had that true epic game.

So we talk about history, and context, and then we look forward to next year, thinking that maybe having a George Mason around isn't so bad after all.

Florida: Best. Team. Ever. (But I'll Settle for "Best of '07") [DanShanoff.com]

It was rather difficult not to admire Greg Oden in this game, but Florida, man, those guys are good. Not the epic game we were hoping for ... but when you go 4-for-22 from the 3-point line, it doesn't really matter if you have a 64-year-old Bill Russell under the basket.

Congratulations to Florida on yet another championship; we've got 6-to-1 odds on them winning the World Series.

2007 NCAA Champion Florida Gators [Gator Zone]

So, as established earlier today, either we're gonna have a two-time champion for the first time in more than 15 years — and a school that has won three major national championships in the last 12 months — or Greg Oden is gonna get his Carmelo Anthony on.

We have our own rooting interests, but mostly, we just want a close game. This whole tourney is due.

Consider this the game thread ... we'll pop back in postgame with a "Congrats, Champions" type of deal. Enjoy!

With tonight's national title game rapidly approaching, we asked fans of both Ohio State and Florida to describe what a victory tonight would mean, what it would stand for, how it would change matters, what would be the team's place in history. We thought it would be kind of fun.

Right now: The Florida Gators, written by Dan Shanoff, of DanShanoff.com. Words come after the jump.

—-—-—-—-—-—-—-—-

What would a Florida win tonight mean?

It means this Gators starting five goes out as the greatest in the history of college basketball.

(But it really means the debate is on: "Wait, this Gators starting five is the greatest in the history of college basketball?!")

It means Joakim Noah is the NBA's problem now.

(But it really means no more gratuitous TV shots of Noah's famous father or MILF-ish mother.)

It means one more thing for Florida fans to be arrogant about.

(But it really means one less thing for Duke fans to be arrogant about.)

It means Billy Donovan finally might return all those screened calls from that "859" area code.

(But it really means Donovan is going to get p-a-i-d.)

It means Urban Meyer is still one behind.

(But it really means Jim Tressel isn't the only Buckeyes coach with a huge Gator bite taken out of his ass.)

It means a few more NBA-bound college underclassmen stars perhaps will feel inspired to return to school to pursue goals beyond value.

(But it really means Greg Oden probably can't win either way.)

It means that the "Year of the Gator" would become the "YEARS of the Gator."

(But it really means Erin Andrews is re-coronated as our national college homecoming queen.)

• Let's Play The Game Anyway. If you don't know already, Ohio State is the underdog going into Monday night's national title game. We know that by the betting lines and we know it by listening or reading the experts. To a man, they are all picking against Ohio State. In reading Greg Doyel on CBS Sportslilne, I'm not sure if we should even enter the arena, let alone suit up. Same with the outed liar Mike Freeman who actually suggests Florida could beat at least five teams in the NBA. [Buckeye Commentary]

• The Mirror Image. The names are the same, but the situation is reversed. As of this morning, I haven't heard a single sports talking head or pundit who predicts Ohio State will win tonight. Sounds like January 8 - in the reverse. I have a suspicion Florida fans are acting like Buckeye fans did prior to the BCS title game. I have heard the same sort of boastfulness from some of my fellow Gator fans. And, I wish it wasn't so. A little good natured ribbing is to be expected post-game, and we certainly are not above that here at Saurian Sagacity. However, talking big pre-game as often as not makes you end up looking stupid. [Saurian Sagacity]

• Deja Vu. Think back (sorry) to the BCS title game. Remember how you guys were the clear cut favorites and the Gators had NO CHANCE against the mighty big 10? I bring this up because I just realized the tides have turned. Everyone is picking the gators (outside Ohio). This really scares me because I know how dangerous your team is. Luckily, there are no classless gators coming on this board like so many buckeye fans from jhuddle did to our boards. I'm glad we are civil. — FriendlyGator. [BuckNuts Message Board]

Hey clown, Gators fans were all over our boards as well so don't start with that cr*p, every d1 school with a big-time athletic program has the idiot fans whether you take credit for them or not. — BWJackets. [BuckNuts Message Board]

• Florida Phanz. This video almost erases the horror of losing the National Championship. It goes a long way to making those 82 yards of offense seem less offensive.....It's good to be a Buckeye. [The Buckeye Mainiac]

• Buckeyes Again: Perfect! I'll be brutally honest: I despise Ohio State. I believe 90%+ of their fans are total douchebags. I am still pissed at the treatment the Gator Nation received at the hands of Ohio State fans in Glendale, as well as the media. In my view 41-14 was simply a good start. If Meyer wasn't such a classy guy, I'd have beseeched him to score on those last two possessions, something Florida could easily have done. So in my view, this chance to beat Ohio State a third time will be a chance to help salve some old wounds. It will be almost as joyful to inflict some additional pain to the embarassed Buckeye nation as it will to win a second national championship in basketball, back-to-back, sandwiching a football championship. [Orange and Blue Hue]

The man on the left, Ohio State head coach That Matta, is two years younger than the man on the right, Florida coach Billy Donovan. There must be something in the water in Columbus that ages people prematurely. At this time next year, Mike Conley Jr. is going to look like Laurence Fishburne.

The guy in the middle sent this picture into us ... some of the Florida Gators were nice enough to pose for a shot with him at a TGI Friday's last June. It's weird that Taurean Green, Al Horford, and Corey Brewer all smile politely for the camera, while Joakim Noah stands there with no expression on his face whatsoever.

I'm afraid I won't be with you for tonight's basketball festivities — I decided to try actually watching a game without a keyboard in front of me. I don't know what that's going to be like, but I've heard it's wild.

I wouldn't even know where to start with a preview... there are so many personalities and angles and storylines that this can't help but be a memorable night. Joakim Noah's constant battle against the haters, the stifling defense of UCLA against the immeasurable talent of the Gators, and Hibbert vs. Oden, which I think should be subtitled "The H is O." Also, The Rookie is on ABC.

I'll leave you with two YouTube videos... one Joakim Noah video that's a little mean, but very chuckle-worthy, and then this Billy Packer admission that won't surprise you at all.

Because Saturday's Final Four matchup between Florida and UCLA is a rematch of last year's national championship game, some bad blood is still stewing, or boiling, or whatever bad blood does, and UCLA fans are wanting revenge. And how does today fan fire himself for revenge? Funny PhotoShops!

This Joakim Noah-as-geisha-girl creation is one of many at this Bruins fan site. They got tons of 'em, including Joakim as Michael Jackson, an Osmond and as the Lord of the Dance. PhotoShop is fun.

Florida Fans, Do NOT Read This Thread [BruinReportOnline]

It looks like we're having an encore this week, though, as Florida coach Billy Donovan continues to play footsie with Kentucky and its open coaching job. Some reports say they've already offered him a contract, and there's no question he's their top candidate. That might be all fine and good — though we don't understand why he'd want to leave a school he could lead to two consecutive titles — but certainly now's not the time to be discussing it? Donovan could have eliminated this whole storyline with a well-placed "I'm coaching the Final Four this week, and that's all I care about," but instead he pulled that "well, I don't know where Kentucky stands, so I can't worry about that" ploy that set everybody off and will surely increase his price tag.

It is frustrating that much of a Final Four this potentially amazing will be tied up in discussing the bank account of Billy Donovan, but we fetishize coaches and probably always will. Even ones as scary as Billy Donovan.

Coaching Search Breakdown [Kentucky Sports Radio]
Bad Form [Yellow Chair Sports]

(UPDATE: A Lexington TV station says the Donovan-to-Kentucky deal will be announced after the Final Four.)

We're not necessarily still swooning over the weekend of basketball we witnessed — there was only one outstanding game, the Georgetown-North Carolina game yesterday, and that was mostly outstanding because the Tar Heels went 1-for-2,239 down the stretch — but it certainly has set up something beautiful next weekend in Atlanta. (Which we will be present for, by the way; we'll talk more about that this week.)

Seriously, though: Georgetown-Ohio State and Florida-UCLA? That's a rather amazing doubleheader. Even though the whole tournament has been predictable and lacked a lot of fevered lunacy — unless you're talking the Division II tournament — it appears to have led up to something that was all worth it. Remember how lousy all three Final Four games were last year? Shouldn't be a problem this time.

For Four Teams, A Season To Remember [TimesSelect]

Quite a little final four we're left with. On one side, an Oden/Hibbert matchup of behemoths, and on the other side, a rematch of last year's championship game. Could it get better than that? I feel very special in my pants right now.

Malik Hairston fouled out at 3:54, Marty Leunen fouled out with 1:24 left, Joevan Catron fouled out with :47 left, and Aaron Brooks played most of the second half with four fouls. It's not that Oregon played poorly — well, except for Tajuan Porter, whose jumpshots, for most of the game, seemed to be allergic to the net — they just didn't have enough to mess with Florida. Porter was 2-12 from the floor and was called for a travel on one of Oregon's last opportunities with under 9 seconds to play. Poor little guy.

Brooks finished with 27 for Oregon, and game MVP Lee Humphrey racked up 23 for Florida. Joakim Noah chipped in 14 points and 13 boards for the Gators, too.

It sets up a UCLA/Florida Final Four rematch. The other Final Four game will be Ohio State vs. either Carolina or Georgetown, which is starting any second now.

Oregon couldn't make them pay and put them in a hole, though. They never opened up much of a lead, and at about the 7:00 mark, Florida went on a mini-run and took the lead, which they have yet to relinquish. They take a 40-38 lead to the half.

While James Brown and Len Elmore try to get a handle on the magical ability of Lee Humphrey's jumpshot to obliterate nylon, Aaron Brooks has 14 for Oregon, Humphrey has 14 for Florida, and Oregon's Malik Hairston, described by James Brown as having a "nice package down low," and I couldn't agree more, has 12. Florida's trio of Noah, Horford and Brewer has combined for 12. And yet, Florida leads.

Both Clark Kellog and Seth Davis like Florida, if that means anything to you (which it absolutely shouldn't). It should be a fun team to watch, though, between Florida's dominant frontcourt, and the Ducks' explosive backcourt.

The weather is beautiful in most of the country ... the perfect day to park yourself in front of a television and forget about sunshine for a little while. You wouldn't want to miss it if the Gators win, and Joakim Noah starts grinding on Len Elmore.