How To Cook A Bunch Of Good Food For The Super Bowl Party

So the Super™ Bowl® is here, and that means some sucker—maybe even you!—will be hosting a Super™ Bowl® party which they will feel weirdly obligated to refer to as a "Big Game" party, because the NFL likes to sue people for liking it. You will have to bring something to this shindig—especially if you are hosting… » 1/31/15 12:40pm Yesterday 12:40pm

We're in a Technological Arms Race with Bears for Our Food

It's almost impossible to secure yourself against a food raid from bears. That's because these giant mammals are clever tool users, and they share their tech knowledge with other bears nearby. As a result, bear-proofing technology rarely works for more than a couple of decades before every bear knows how to crack it. » 1/28/15 4:58pm Wednesday 4:58pm

How To Bake Bay Scallops, And Prove That Size Isn't Everything

Seems like bay scallops get kind of a raw deal, doesn't it? At my local purveyor of seafoods, the big honkin' fist-sized sea scallops get a place of honor in the glass display case, while the bay scallops are stuck over in the freezer across the way, packed by the dozens into grim plastic bags, frozen, largely… » 1/24/15 11:55am 1/24/15 11:55am

How To Make Sausage And Peppers: A Guide For The Stir Crazy

This column originally ran on February 16, 2013. However, I've been laid up with strep throat for the past few days, so I'm resurrecting it, both because I haven't been able to cook at all this week, and also because this is what I will cook and eat as soon as I am able to swallow things again. » 1/17/15 11:46am 1/17/15 11:46am

How To Cook For Yourself Every Day, And Stock Your Kitchen Like A Pro

I love Sundays, but not the way I used to. Time was, it was a day for sleeping in, going to brunch, watching sports, ordering a pizza, dicking around. But here's the new itinerary: Wake up early, go to the farmer's market, buy a boatload of awesome produce (produce being a thing I now consider awesome), rub and/or… » 1/12/15 5:09pm 1/12/15 5:09pm

Exercise vs. Diet: Which Is More Important for Weight Loss?

Being healthy is simple, right? "Eat less, move more." That's easy to say, but practicality is one of the most important things when it comes to health and fitness. Recommendations like this are blanket statements that don't address practicality—so when it comes down to it, which is more important? Diet, or exercise? » 1/06/15 10:58am 1/06/15 10:58am

How To Roast Butternut Squash, Which Is Phallic And Fantastic

There's the versatility of, say, a boneless, skinless chicken breast—it tastes bland and uninteresting pretty much no matter what you do with it, so it "goes" with everything, like gustatory khaki—and then there's the versatility of the butternut squash, which is so outrageously goddamn good that you could wrap it in… » 1/03/15 1:50pm 1/03/15 1:50pm

How To Eat Your Thanksgiving Leftovers: Three Good-Ass Techniques

The morning following Thanksgiving is a bleary, cotton-mouthed, dead-eyed time—a time for questions, a time of Reckoning. "Oh, Jesus, how much did I drink yesterday?" and, "Am I going to die?" and, "Why do I keep doing this to myself?" and, "Am I in Fort Worth? How did I come to be in Fort Worth?" These are all very… » 11/28/14 12:35pm 11/28/14 12:35pm

How To Eat Thanksgiving Dinner: A Strategy Guide

How does one eat a Thanksgiving meal? On its face this might seem like a ridiculous question, and also everywhere else too. I mean, who doesn't know how to eat? (Excepting the British, of course.) Thanksgiving is marked, more than anything else, by its abundance of tasty foodstuffs; practically speaking, it is a… » 11/27/14 12:34pm 11/27/14 12:34pm

How To Make Potatoes Au Gratin, A Step Beyond Good Ol' Mashed Taters

Hey, look, mashed potatoes are wonderful. They're smooth and hearty and comforting; they land in your stomach with a satisfying, almost audible whump; they are the food equivalent of dropping your entire body onto a soft, overstuffed sofa. Kids love them, grownups love them, everybody loves them. Mashed potatoes are… » 11/22/14 11:51am 11/22/14 11:51am

How To Stir-Fry Beef, The Most Harrowing And Wonderful Thing

The problem with stir-frying is the common perception that it's this simple, quick way of throwing together a good dinner. I don't really know what to make, and I'm running late getting home from work, so I guess I'll just whip up some stir-fry is the thought process that leads, inexorably, to the 5,973,221st… » 11/08/14 1:01pm 11/08/14 1:01pm

Watch Action Bronson Have An Extremely Awkward Meal With Mike Ditka

Queens rapper Action Bronson is pretty great, in part because he once called himself "The Young Randy Velarde" on a track, and in part because he hosts a food show on the internet that is called Fuck, That's Delicious. The most recent episode of the show brought Bronson into contact with shitty old man Mike Ditka, and… » 11/04/14 11:16am 11/04/14 11:16am

How To Make Fried Mozzarella, Instead Of Getting It At A Crummy Bar

It's a perverse testament to fried mozzarella's greatness that even in its shittiest incarnations, even when it's just battered and deep-fried sticks of rubbery Polly-O string cheese prepared and served at your local dire corporate chain eatery with all the care and enthusiasm of a wino tumbling down a flight of… » 10/18/14 11:55am 10/18/14 11:55am

Engagement Chicken: A History of Romantic Culinary Bullshit

We're just six weeks short of Thanksgiving, which means two things: First, if your Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year plans involve air travel, book your ticket now or suffer the financial consequences. Secondly, if you're looking to get hitched over the holidays and believe in magic, it might be time to bust out the… » 10/15/14 1:33pm 10/15/14 1:33pm