Amy Schumer's Sketch About Football Players Who Rape Was Perfect

The joke here doesn’t need to be deeply explained, does it? Inside Amy Schumer pulled off a clever Friday Night Lights parody last night in which the archetypal conflict between coach and town involved allowing the high school football players to rape. The laughs don’t come at the expense of the victims, which is why… » 4/22/15 12:45pm 4/22/15 12:45pm

Records: Will Allen Tried To Dodge Being Served In Ponzi Scheme Case

The Securities and Exchange Commission* has accused former NFL cornerback Will Allen and a partner of running an approximately $31 million Ponzi scheme that lured in athletes from all four major American sports leagues. And as part of what will probably be an ongoing legal process, Allen and Susan Daub had to be… » 4/07/15 6:13pm 4/07/15 6:13pm

LeSean McCoy Says Chip Kelly Doesn't Respect Star Players

It’s been two months since LeSean McCoy was traded from the Philadelphia Eagles to the Buffalo Bills in one of the more shocking NFL trades in recent memory. It was Eagles head coach Chip Kelly—who’s spent his first offseason with full power over personnel decisions doing all kinds of crazy shit—who made that trade… » 4/07/15 12:49pm 4/07/15 12:49pm

DA: NFL, Union Can See Pictures From Greg Hardy Case, Nobody Else Can

The Mecklenburg district attorney has allowed the NFL and the NFL Players Association to view seven photographs it wanted to see from Greg Hardy’s domestic violence case. What exactly is shown in the seven photographs isn’t made clear in the press release, but the announcement is clear on who won’t be seeing the… » 4/06/15 7:27pm 4/06/15 7:27pm

Michigan Center Jack Miller Quits Due To Concussion Concerns

Jack Miller was the starting center for all of Michigan's football games last season, and won a team award for being the squad's best lineman. Today, he told ESPN.com that he will not be returning for his senior season, in large part because he no longer wants to deal with the risk of getting concussed. » 3/25/15 5:15pm 3/25/15 5:15pm

The Time Aaron Hernandez Peed On A Cab And Told Off A Reporter

The MMQB's Greg Bedard, who was a Boston Globe reporter on the Patriots beat during the seasons that Aaron Hernandez was on the team, has written an essay about his time spent covering Hernandez, and it includes one scene that begins with Hernandez pissing all over a running taxi cab and ends with the big tight end… » 3/25/15 12:18pm 3/25/15 12:18pm

Aaron Hernandez Is An Idiot, But He Still Might Get Away With Murder

You can get away with murder, you know. It's just easier for those of us who don't murder not to think about it. To some extent, it's baked into the system, one designed in theory (though not always in practice) to start out with a presumption of innocence. The other factors that come in usually do nothing more or… » 3/25/15 11:06am 3/25/15 11:06am

Serial Rapist Darren Sharper Might Serve Just 9 Years [Updated]

As expected, the plea deals are rolling in for accused serial rapist Darren Sharper, and so far the sentences seem fairly light. But we won't know how long Sharper will spend in prison until he officially pleads in all five jurisdictions, because he'll functionally serve only the longest of his five sentences. » 3/23/15 3:41pm 3/23/15 3:41pm

Darren Sharper Plans To Strike Plea Deal In All His Rape Cases Monday

Alleged serial rapist Darren Shaper is working on a global plea deal that would resolve the myriad of sexual assault cases against him, according to multiple reports today. The Associated Press reported that the deal will be filed Monday in two courts, one in California and the other in an unknown location. The… » 3/20/15 5:49pm 3/20/15 5:49pm

Bernard Pierce To Cop After DUI: "I'm Getting Cut." And He Is!

Running back Bernard Pierce was released by the Baltimore Ravens today, hours after he was arrested on charges that included driving under the influence of alcohol and speeding. The move probably didn't surprise Pierce who, according to a police statement of probable cause, asked the officer who pulled him over if his… » 3/18/15 2:57pm 3/18/15 2:57pm

The NFL Holds Roger Goodell In Higher Regard Than President Obama

SB Nation's Eric Sollenberger has been hanging out at South by Southwest this week, and he attended a panel called "Now Athletes are Funny: Power of Comedy and Sports." One of the panelists speaking was Adam Richenbach, an executive producer at Funny Or Die Sports who, as Sollenberger tells it, shared an anecdote… » 3/17/15 5:02pm 3/17/15 5:02pm

Three Mississippi State Football Players Jumped At Waka Flocka Concert

Mississippi State football players Dak Prescott, Torrey Dale, and Damian Williams were reportedly jumped while at a spring break Waka Flocka concert in Panama City (Fla.). News of the incident—as well as pictures—first surfaced on the Elite Dawgs message board, and was confirmed by Panama City police: » 3/09/15 11:08pm 3/09/15 11:08pm

Looking For A New NFL Players Association Leader? Send In The Clowns

Vince Wilfork is currently unemployed. Bobby Bonilla will be receiving paychecks from the New York Mets until he is 217 years old. The reason for this is that Vince Wilfork couldn't hit a fucking curveball. Or, less obliquely, the reason for this is that the NFL Players Association has done a terrible job of… » 3/06/15 11:48am 3/06/15 11:48am