Click here to see the new hats cast their eerie spell. (Caution: Not for the meek).

Someday of course all baseball cap logos will glow in the dark, and you'll have Ghosts CEO Kevin Haughian to thank for it. He is also responsible for the current top best-selling Minor League cap, that of the Lake Elsinore Storm.

The Ghosts are also the only team anywhere to be named after a Harveys Entertainment cartoon character. That's the studio that gave us Baby Huey, Wendy the Good Witch, Herman and Katnip, Little Audrey and Richie Rich ... kind of a low-rent Disney. Now if the Ghosts can tie in their concessions to Little Lotta, they'll have something.

And now, here come the Minor League promotions:

• 60's Psychedelic Night. Tonight, West Virginia Power (Class-A South Atlantic League). Generally I don't need an excuse to take LSD, but I'll fit right in tonight at Appalachian Power Park, where our nation's groovy, bell-bottomed heritage will be celebrated ... up to and including post-game karaoke.

• Australia Day. Saturday, Erie SeaWolves (Class-AA Eastern League). Includes the always popular Boomerang Giveaway, a Steve Irwin tribute, and salute to Australian-born Major Leaguers. Plus, music of the BeeGees and Men at Work. What, no Anne Murray?

Other breaking news:

Mr. Celery Conducts The Delaware Symphony Orchestra. Yes the rumors are true: Famed Wilmington Blue Rocks mascot Mr. Celery will take up the baton on Saturday at the Grand Opera House in Wilmington to conduct a presentation of The Firebird. The co-production by the Enchantment Theater and the Delaware Symphony Orchestra "weaves together puppetry, shadow play, masks and magic with evocative music by Stravinsky in this captivating Russian tale." The performance also includes Bizet's Carmen Suite and begins at 2 p.m. Adults $20, children $10. For tickets call the Grand Opera House box office at (302) 652-5577.

Joliet Jackhammers Offer Contract To Frank Thomas. The Joliet Jackhammers of the Independent Northern League have extended a contract offer to Frank Thomas, who was released from the Blue Jays last week. Had he signed, Thomas would have received "a monthly salary in addition to a free apartment," according to the Jackhammers' press release. Alas: It appears that the Jackhammers' offer was not sweet enough.

Cam Of The Week. Cedar Rapids Kernels Dale and Thomas Popcorn Field KernelsCam (scroll to bottom of page). Hmm, looks like rain.

Billboard Of The Week. St. Paul Saints Billboard Corn Field. If only this included a cam.

Kevin In The Ticket Office Says Goodbye. Sad, sad news from the Clearwater Threshers. Kevin from the ticket office is discontinuing his blog, to "pursue other interests." It's a heartfelt farewell, equaled only perhaps by the final episode of M*A*S*H.

Please send any Minor League promotional news, game accounts, photos or recipes to us at RickChand@GMail.com. Thanks!

Anyway, Frank Thomas is no longer a Blue Jay. And he must have really been a pain in the ass, because Toronto is eating $7,081,967 of his $8 million salary this season. Mmmm, bitter regret. And hey, with Frank on the market, good luck finding a job now, Barry Bonds!

The file on the Big Hurt: Last season he led the Jays with 26 homers and 95 RBI. But this year he's off to a .167 start, is hitless in his past 13 at-bats and has 11 RBI. Your Toronto Blue Jays are 10-9, 2 1/2 games behind first-place Boston in the East, and can't really afford a .167 black hole in the lineup at this point. But, is Thomas not an historically slow starter? Well, San Francisco Giants, here he comes. Toronto beat Detroit 5-3 on Sunday behind David Eckstein's three-run homer, the Tigers falling to 6-13.

• Eric The Half-A-Bee. Jimmy Rollins was banished to the 15-day DL, but Chase Utley was 3-for-3 and had two homers and Pedro Feliz had one homer to lead the Phillies past the Mets 5-4. Eric Bruntlett likely saved the game for Philadelphia with a diving stop on Carlos Beltran's hard grounder up the middle with two outs in the ninth and runners on first and second. Bruntlett threw out Beltran at first. Sweep avoided!

• More Injury Intrigue. Alex Rodriguez blew a tire in the sixth inning — prognosis not certain at this point — but not before he doubled and scored a run in the Yankees' 7-1 win over the Orioles. Andy Pettitte threw seven scoreless innings, Johnny Damon homered and Derek Jeter had a three-run double for the Death Star. That brings the Yankees to .500 (10-10).

• Strange Days. John Bowker has three career home runs — all against the Cardinals this month — and that's how weird this series has been. The Giants won it 4-3, with all seven games being played in the past 11 days. SF prevailed 8-2 on Sunday, behind Bengie Molina's three doubles and three RBI. Anyway it was all likely pretty annoying to this guy.

• Game Fish. And now a little Marlins love, as they retained first in the NL East (a half-game ahead of the Mets) with a 6-1 win over the Nationals. Time for Washington to break out that bucket of balls that the Pope blessed!

Thanks to The Big Hurt, the Yankees' chances to win the East just got a little harder. But the bigger news is that, with 16 games remaining, the Yankees are still in it at all. They're only 5 1/2 games behind the Red Sox in the East; 4 1/2 in the loss column. After a three-game series between the two beginning tonight in Boston, New York could find itself 2 1/2 back. Does that seem right? Could New York actually win this thing? I just kind of anointed the Red Sox as winners of the East a long while ago, and if they gag this up, it's going to leave me with a lot of mental paperwork. The schedule even favors the Yankees, who have six games with Baltimore and three with Tampa Bay among their 16 remaining. Boston has 15 games left, and closes the season against Oakland (two) and Minnesota (four). If you're going this weekend, by the way, Wang vs. Matsuzaka on Saturday is your best bet, one would think.

• Fun At Safeco. With Will in the upper deck madly waving his Yuniesky Betancourt sign, the Mariners beat the Tampa Bay Pectoral-Finned Filter Feeders, 8-7, led by Betancourt's game-tying double in the eighth. The Mariners had to overcome a poor start by Jeff Weaver for their 41st comeback victory.

• My Kind Of Town, Chicago Is. Chicago is back in sole possession of first place (later today they'll relinquish it; you know the drill), after a 6-2 win over the Astros. Alfonso Soriano, Aramis Ramirez, Daryle Ward and Cliff Floyd all homered for Chicago, which moved a half-game ahead of idle Milwaukee in the Central. The Cubs open a four-game series at third-place St. Louis tonight.

• Oh, NOW The Phillies Bullpen Comes Through. Chase Utley (two-run homer) and five relievers combined to give Philadelphia a 12-4 win over the Rockies, who can pretty much forget about the playoffs now.

First, Thomas. He hit his 500th homer yesterday and celebrated by ... being thrown out of the game for arguing a strike call late. This reminded us of that stupid Billy Crystal movie in which he throws Kareem Abdul-Jabbar out of his farewell game. Excellently played, Frank.

But not nearly as much fun as Biggio. You have to love a guy who, while notching his 3,000th hit, gets so excited that he runs into an obvious out at second base trying to stretch it to a double.

We salute these men, who displayed the sports equivalent of Miss America falling down right after receiving her crown.

Thank You Craig Biggio [Crawfish Boxes]
First The Achievement, Then The Disappointment [Jays Nest]

• Do Not Boo The Hurt. It was Speed Dating Night at the Rogers Centre on Wednesday — seriously — and Frank Thomas wanted to make a good impression. The Big Hurt is seven kinds of bad ass, we'd estimate, and about four of them were present on one swing as he led the Blue Jays over the Dodgers 12-1. Thomas had a grand slam — the 497th homer of his career — after being booed the night before for popping out in his final at-bat in a 10-1 loss to Los Angeles. "(Tuesday) was rock bottom,'' Thomas said. "To get booed by the home crowd like that, I took that personally. That really hurt. It's one of those things where I wanted to bring an attitude into the game today. It worked out well for me.'' Not a great day for the Dodgers, who learned after the game that right-hander Jason Schmidt will miss the rest of the season after having surgery on his right shoulder. Roy Halladay (8-2) won his third consecutive start.

• Jeff Weaver, Slump Buster! Jeff Weaver, he of the 0-6 record and 14.32 ERA, threw a four-hitter as the Mariners beat the Pirates 7-0 to end their six-game losing streak. Mark it down! (Championship ...).

• Coco Crisp, You Stay Crunchy, Even In My Dreams. J.D. Drew led off with a homer and the Red Sox had five HRs in all — Coco Crisp three-run shot in the first! — in an 11-0 rout of the Braves.

• Rock On. Jeff Francis pitched the Rockies over the Yankees 6-1, as we all figured he would.

• Politically Incorrects Win Aagain. Casey Blake's two-run single led Cleveland over Philadelphia 10-6.

On September 2, the Blue Jays will be hosting Frank Thomas Pillow Night, in which the first 5,000 fans aged 14 and under will receive a free Thomas pillow. It is unknown whether or not Thomas will actually smack the children once they enter the gate — in a similar fashion to Albert Belle Bat Night from a decade or so ago — but we shall keep our fingers crossed.

We are fascinated, by the way, by a comment on the original Frank Thomas story which said, essentially, that Canada is cool with the weed but not so hip on the stylized violence, and we Americans are the exact opposite. We're not sure which mindset we agree with more. Close call. Can't there be both?

Toronto Blue Jays Promotions [BlueJays.com]
If Frank Thomas Can't Hit A Child, What Good Is He? [Deadspin]

As anyone who understands comedy can tell you, the sight of a small child in pain is the zenith of modern mirth. Which is why it's such a shame that this Blue Jays commercial with Frank Thomas has been banned by Canadian television.

Basically, Big Frank interrupts a pillow fight among his children by swinging his own pillow, violently and hilariously. And the Canadians aren't happy about it.

"I think we are taking ourselves a little too seriously if we're saying a pillow fight cannot air because it's viewed as too aggressive, or Frank's too big versus a small child," said Laurel Lindsay, vice-president of marketing for the Blue Jays. "It's ridiculous. I can't shrink Frank and nor would I try to make the child grow. That's sort of the life of the [commercial], seeing the two interact. It was disappointing for sure. Surprising, I think, would be the ultimate word."

Personally, we think it would have been funnier if the kid had gone crashing through the window, but hey, you can't dissect comedy ... you just have to let it flow.

Swing And A Miss For Blue Jays Commercial [The Globe And Mail]
Frank Thomas Commercial (VIDEO)