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Dumbass American Has The Stupidest Ideas On How To "Fix" The Champions League

What you’re about to read is really, really stupid. Like, snap-your-laptop-in-two-over-your-knee stupid. Seal-up-Europe’s-borders-Donald-Trump-style-to-keep-out-Americans stupid. And as a soccer fan on this side of the Atlantic who doesn’t share sports executive Charlie Stillitano’s braindead takes on how to “improve”…

The German National Team Slept In The Stade de France Stadium Last Night After The Paris Attacks [UPDATE]

Last night, the Paris attacks touched the Stade de France during a game between Germany and France. At least two bombs went off right outside the stadium full of 80,000 people, which you could hear on the game’s broadcast. French president Francois Hollande was in attendance and was forced to evacuate, but the others…

Andros Townsend Waves Hi To Media Hater After Great International Goal

Andros Townsend isn't a great player, but then again, England aren't a great team, so it isn't too much of a surprise that the Spurs winger was called up during this international break, nor that he managed to blast home the tying goal in today's 1-1 draw against Italy. Well, not a surprise to us. Former player and…

USMNT Felled By Hat-Trick Hero Nicklas Bendtner, Who Still Sucks

For the first time this year—at least the first time we'd like to remember—a fit and strong USMNT squad got some run. The opponent was Denmark, stiff competition to be sure. So while USMNT fans could've justifiably been cautiously pleased with the 2-1 lead our boys took into the final 10 minutes of the game, it's…

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The Worst Punishment For Luis Suárez Is Forcing Him To Play Teenagers

The worst part of Luis Suárez's suspension for the player himself probably hasn't been the jokes about his cannibalistic supervillain image, nor missing out on the early parts of this promising Barcelona season, nor the weekly adulation from tens of thousands of fans he used to receive whenever he stepped on the pitch…

The Portugal-Turkey Friendly Featured A Portuguese Flag Tifo Using Thousands Of Tablet Computers

While Portugal's Euro 2012 tune-up with Turkey didn't produce the expected result (Cristiano Ronaldo missed a penalty kick and Portugal lost 3-1) they can take pride in the display shown during "A Portuguesa," the Portuguese National Anthem. Thousands of tablet computers (possibly iPads, though it's difficult to…

Saturday's United States-Scotland Friendly Featured A Clash Of Terribly-Performed National Anthems

The U.S. Men's National Team thrashed Scotland 5-1 in Jacksonville Saturday on the strength of a Landon Donovan hat trick, but the festival atmosphere at EverBank Field (where the attendance of 44,438 set a record for national friendlies in the state) was nearly snuffed out before the match ever began thanks to two…