That ugly-ass Hawks-Celtics game was only made less painful to watch by an unfortunate pratfall from Atlanta’s mascot, who will not be fertilizing eggs anytime soon. Keep an eye on Harry’s tightrope routine at the bottom of the screen:
Scottish soccer team Partick Thistle unveiled their new mascot this morning. It’s that. Why.
Nightmarish, perverted furry Clark the Cub is still struggling to catch on among piss-soaked Wrigley fans—and trivia nerds, apparently, as none of the three competitors tonight on Jeopardy! were able to respond correctly when prompted to name the team Clark represents during the Final Jeopardy! round. Perhaps Alex…
Put that headline in a time capsule, so future generations can recall the brief period of time Ebola was in the news and the Jaguars were an NFL team.
This might be the greatest collection of baseball talent ever gathered in one place. Twenty-six mascots posed for a class photo yesterday in Minneapolis, delighting and horrifying onlookers in equal measure.
In the most horrifying injury of the NBA season, the Spurs' mascot took a charge from Denver's Aaron Brooks, and came up looking like a flatfish before his eyes fell off altogether.
Mr. Met joined Twitter today. He was immediately bullied by MLB's horniest mascot, the Royals' Sluggerrr.
The great thing about baseball is that even after 150 years, you can watch a game and see something you've never seen before. Last night was one of those games. The renegade fan dancing atop the Cardinals dugout may have been wearing a bear suit, but this was a unique instance of guerilla mascoting.
Fearless, the life-sized stuffed goat who usually chills out atop his owner's car before Navy games, should not be confused with Bill XXXI, Navy's live goat mascot. But he is a regular fixture at Navy pregames, and he has been kidnapped.
A work stoppage in sports, obviously, affects more than the players and owners. It takes a ton of people to make hockey go, from referees and broadcasters to concessionaires and janitors. And it's always the little guys who are first to go when the money stops rolling in.
Rip Tide, blue fursuited embodiment of the Triple A Norfolk Tides, was out for his usual four-wheeler cruise around the stadium when he took the right field turn a little too sharp. Rip Tide was unharmed but embarrassed (especially when he couldn't get his ATV running again), and I think The Oriole Bird's big league…
Uncle Slam, mascot for the Class A Potomac Nationals, was placed on the 60-day disabled list and will miss the remainder of the season. The release, from the baby Nats:
Say hello to DJ Kitty, who has crossed over from scoreboard videos to a real live man-in-suit. Don't worry, there's still a home for Raymond (who, as I learned from his bio, is actually a Canus Manta Whatthefluffalus). It's just that the Rays wanted to be the first team to get their mascot-to-spectator ratio above…
It's been nearly a week since Obie was destroyed by WVU's Darwin Cook, and he (she!) is in for a lifetime of physical therapy and never-ending pain. But, baby steps. The Orange Bowl tweeted a photo of Obie leaving the hospital this afternoon, with a message for Cook.
This actually came at the end of the 99-yard fumble recovery we showed you last night, and raises a greater paradox than Schrödinger's cat: how do you decapitate a mascot that is only a head? Darwin Cook tried his damndest with a clothesline on Obie, the anthropomorphic Orange Bowl orange.
We're just going to assume that B. Franklin Dogg is going to win the fan vote to become the next 76ers mascot, because his bedroom eyes and S&M collar make us laugh every time. He's McGruff, the Sex Crime Dog. "Hey kids! B. Franklin Dogg's van is full of candy!"
If you take nothing else from this insane week in sports, let it be the fact that the Phillie Phanatic was born in the Galapagos Islands. MLB has photos of the Philadelphia mascot furbirdthing "returning to his homeland" to terrify wildlife and hawk his book to local children. [MLB.com via The700Level]