From an email sent to Georgia's athletic director:

In the wake of the untimely death of the University of Georgia's (UGA) bulldog mascot, Uga VII, PETA has asked the school's athletic director, Damon M. Evans, to replace the mascot with an animatronic dog—or to rely solely on a costumed mascot—instead of using another real bulldog. Bulldogs are prone to breathing difficulties, hip dysplasia, heart disorders, and other congenital ailments, and acquiring a dog from a breeder perpetuates the animal overpopulation crisis while causing another dog waiting in an animal shelter to be condemned to death.

"It is time for the university to put an end to the cycle of suffering endured by dogs who are brought into the world solely to represent the school's 'brand'," says PETA Assistant Director Kristie Phelps. "By choosing a humane alternative to the use of live animals as school mascots, UGA can show that compassion always wins."

So, let's summarize. Let's stop plucking bulldogs from anonymity to live a pampered life where they receive all the attention and care they could ever need, because they have a ton of defects. It's almost as if PETA would love to do away with bulldogs altogether, perhaps eliminating them in some sort of Doggie Dachau. In fact, it sounds like PETA doesn't love animals very much at all.

Let's leave aside the suggestion of sticking with a costumed student, which is more inhumane than any puppy mill, and concentrate on this robot dog idea. It is madness. If Georgia's teams were perhaps named the "robotic bulldogs," they'd have an argument. But Uga VIII should come from a long line of dogs who lived hard, and died heroes.

Would schools replace our players with robots because football isn't good for their health? Would Yale opt for a robotic coach who plays the percentages and punts on 4th-and-22? Bad example, but my point is that I've seen a lot of movies about robots, and they rarely end well for humanity.

PETA: Replace UGA VII With a Robot [WGAU]

•Three TDs for Ricky Williams? I'd say this is the start of an epic inspirational story in Miami. You know, if the Dolphins weren't 5-5 and going nowhere.

•Keep talking, Mangino. It'll only make things better to say you're giving these kids the parenting their real parents failed at. Maybe, if that parenting includes emotional, verbal and physical abuse, plus eating the entire Thanksgiving dinner before the kids even get a bite.

•Obviously we'll need a few years for perspective, but the Hand of Gaul already places number three on this list of the top ten handballs of all time. Unsurprisingly, Braylon Edwards is nowhere to be found on the list. (Also, it's soccer. I know. Shut up.)

•In more serious soccer news, an English Sunday league player received a yellow card for farting in the referee's face. Had it been another player, he would have gone down like he'd been shot.

•Curtis Granderson is shopping what sounds like the most boring reality show of all time, in which he'd take viewers on tours of stadiums. The "let's explore Comerica Park's outfield" show is a 5-parter.

•Shaq is going to curate an art show. Is there anything the man can't do? Besides play basketball anymore...

•Finally, Georgia's beloved bulldog passed away suddenly at the age of four from heart disease. I'm filing that sentence away in case we need to use it for Baby Mangino.

•••••

Good morning, and TGIFF. Try not to work too hard.

Ealey himself came out yesterday and said that Spikes did not deserve to be suspended (an entire half!) for reaching under Ealey's helmet to gouge him in the face. After all, Ealey had his eyes closed! What could possibly have gone wrong? Besides, according to both Florida coach Urban Meyer and Georgia coach Mark Richt, Spikes himself had been the victim of a cheap shot earlier in the game. So he was just taking an eye for an eye, so to speak.

Meyer said he believed Spikes retaliated after getting his helmet ripped off and eye poked earlier in the game.

Georgia coach Mark Richt said Spikes' "helmet went flying off ... and there was one time he got hit with his helmet off."

"It was totally unintentional," Richt said. "They were totally just playing ball. That might have got him bent out of shape. I don't know about all of that."

It also seems that there were other dastardly villains afoot on Saturday. Another video that mysterious did not get passed around as much as the Spikes gouge—it has even been pulled from YouTube—is one of Georgia linebacker Nick Williams leveling the one and only Tim Tebow well after a handoff. Perhaps that's why Tebow himself defended Spikes with a "these things happen" shrug of his world-bearing shoulders. As Gary Danielson aptly put it, "That type of stuff will come back later in the game."

Emotional game ... violence ... just playing football out there ... no love lost, etc. No one seems to care that these guys want to injure someone on every play, so if the SEC lets them rip each others' heads off then who are we to complain? That's what the fans would do to one another if their hands weren't covered in barbecue sauce..

Georgia running back Washaun Ealey says Florida linebacker Brandon Spikes shouldn't be suspended [ESPN]
In addition to Spikes, a Georgia player had a questionable hit on Tebow [USA Today]
Florida Turns Blind Eye to Eye-Gouge [Fanhouse]
[Photo: Getty]

It's a little disappointing that it took so long for this to show up in my inbox (South Carolina played Georgia on September 12), but I think you'll agree that it will never be too late to see something like this. The young gentleman in this video talks with great gusto about the mechanics of body painting, how Sanford Stadium do, and how much he wants to knock Steve Spurrier's visor off his smug little head. Meanwhile, a shaken and confused sideline reporter in training (from something called the Digital College Network) tries in vain to make sense of it all. But you can't make sense of something like this. This man is an agent of chaos. He may also be an agent of the Sherman-Williams corporation, but that's another issue.

My favorite part is at the end of his Ultimate Warrior-voiced rant, when he drops the facade for a microsecond to offer a subdued "You're welcome." He's the most polite deranged superfan I've ever met. Go Dawgs?

(P.S. In case you're wondering what happened after the red and black paint was applied. Gotta dance!)

Uga Vs. Usc: Uga Fans Crazies [2009] [Digital College Network]

Suzanne Yoculan, there in the middle, is retiring after having just coached Georgia to its 10th national championship, and fifth in a row, both record-tying feats. Although leaving while you're in your prime and still on top is definitely un-American. Clockwise from top right, that's seniors Courtney Kupets, Abby Stack, Tiffany Tolnay and Paige Burns.

This team is a little different. Please see this photo of Stack, submitted as exhibit A.

Other Georgia gymnastics facts:

• Jeff Foxworthy, cook Paula Deen, "Good Morning America" co-anchor Robin Roberts and Tennessee coach Pat Summitt all participated in a farewell video dedicated to Yoculan.

• On average, the Georgia gymnastics team outdrew the men's basketball team. Six home gymnastics meets drew an average of 9,727, with three sellouts. Bulldog basketball attendance averaged 6,622.

• Prior to the 2008-09 season, Yoculan tried to promote a charity stiletto race featuring her team in tights and spiked heels. But the administration vetoed it.

• In a home meet against Florida, the team came out wearing boxing gloves to the soundtrack of Rocky.

On why she's retiring:

"It will be interesting to figure out what else I'm passionate about, what else interests me," Yoculan said. "When you're the head coach of a championship program, you don't have a whole lot of time to do a whole lot else, to figure out what are your other interests. I'm not sure exactly what they are going to be. I'm excited to find out."

That's way too healthy and rational for me.

Gym Dogs Win 5th National Title In A Row [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]
Gym Dogs Gallery [The Red And Black]

PHOTO: Courtesy of Red And Black

Abby Stack Photo: Courtesy of Red And Black

On Saturday Hairston began taunting her husband at the Days Inn in Neptune Beach once she realized the Gators were beating the Bulldogs. They said when her husband grabbed his bags and tried to leave the room, Hairston bit the man on his thigh. A police report states that Hairston then punched her husband in the face several times with her fists before fleeing the area on foot.

Quite unbelievably, alcohol may have been involved. Here's some video.

Police: Wife Bites Husband Over Fla.-Ga. Game [News4Jax]

At about 2:25 a.m. after the game, police said that Ware and a 24-year-old woman "stood in the street talking and traffic had to steer around." It was this odd behavior that prompted police to investigate. Ware admitted he was drinking and submitted to a breath test where he logged a substantial BAC of .152. Police did not reveal if Ware let out a "Woof, woof, woof!" before the mugshot was snapped, but based on the amount of booze in his system, it's entirely possible.

Ex-UGA running back Ware arrested [AJC]

The idea that a college football coach might use foul language in front of his own players is shocking, of course, but fortunately folks in the region don't take this football thing too seriously, so you probably won't hear much discussion about it down there for the next three-and-a-half days or so. We're sure that Georgia fans will appreciate the good-natured ribbing for what it is and will welcome that nice Mr. Saban and his kids with lemonade and oatmeal cookies—and not over-sized cardboard tombstones and horrifying death masks. And certainly no swearin'

Listen very, very carefully at about the 1:00 mark and you can make your very own bulletin board to pin it on:

• Alabama Coach Says Georgia Bulldogs Are Going to a MF'ing Funeral Saturday Night [The Sporting Blog]

It's wonderful to see so many Georgia natives embracing higher education. Just wonderful. Georgia only had 698 season tickets come open and they fill the requests based on a complicated system called "who gives us the most money?"

This year the minimum amount you could donate to add season tickets was $10,651. Then you still have to throw in the six $40 face value tickets. Which is a great bargain. Based on some quick math that's only $223 per missed open receiver by Matthew Stafford. Money well spent.

Proving that bargains remain available in the SEC, Vanderbilt is selling football season tickets (without any donation required) for $99. Or $14 a game. Go Dores.

For about 700 UGA fans, this could be the year to get a ticket [Atlanta Journal-Constitution]

Yeah. When you try to encroach on Merril Hoge's touches, you're gonna have that.

More Stun Gun Fun: Tim Worley [Josh Q. Public]

XAVIER MUSKETEERS

1. Coaches Corner. Xavier has done an excellent job over the past 20+ years finding capable coaches that continue to advance the program to higher levels. From Pete Gillen to the late great Skip Prosser to Thad Matta to Sean Miller, each coach has brought his own style to Xavier and has been able to find success. Now in his third season, Sean Miller has lead Xavier to its best regular season in school history. You would think by now that people would know Sean Miller because of his coaching resume, but still many people know him because of his appearance on David Letterman as a kid to show off his dribbling skills or perhaps because he knows how to teach offensive improvement. Most likely though, you know him because he was a key component in the most famous dunk in college basketball history.

2. Balancing Act. The Xavier Musketeers are this season's Atlantic 10 regular season champions and have done so with a balanced attack on the offensive end. For most of the season, Xavier has had six guys averaging double digit points per game lead by seniors Josh Duncan (11.7 ppg) and Drew Lavender (10.8 ppg). BJ Raymond (10.7 ppg), CJ Anderson (10.7 ppg) and Derrick Brown (10.6 ppg) have also been steady contributors for the Muskies. Stanley "Hammer" Burrell has arguably been Xavier's MVP this season despite averaging a career low in ppg (9.9 ppg). Hammer has become one of the top perimeter defenders in the country as evidenced by his ability to contain the likes of Eric Gordon (4-12 FG), Chris Lofton (3-12 FG), Sean Singletary (5-12 FG), Jimmy Baron (0-7 FG), and Dayton's Brian Roberts (held to 6-19 FG in two games combined). Phil Martelli, for one, won't be sad to see Burrell go based on his comments after the first Xavier/St. Joes game... "Is there anybody here from the Xavier administration? Do you know when graduation is? That goddamn Burrell, every year, every goddam game makes a shot against us. He was averaging 7.5 points coming into the game in seven league games - or eight games. Doesn't look like the same player, playing great defense. Dagger. I want to be here to make sure that sonofabitch gets out of here to be honest with you."

3. The Power of X. While this year's team is inspiring the hopes and dreams of Xavier fans everywhere, The Power of X is more than one team, one player or one coach. The statistic the majority Xavier fans will tell you they are most proud of is not the 14 All-Americans in school history or making the NCAA tournament 16 of the last 21 years, it is the fact that the Xavier program has graduated 70 straight seniors which dates back into the 1980's. Josh Duncan, Drew Lavender and Stanley Burrell will make that 73 straight this May and they will be certainly be missed, but the future is bright at X. Next year, Xavier welcomes Top 150 recruits Kenny Frease (#55) and Brian Walsh (#142) as well as uber-athletic PG Mark "Cheeks" Lyons, but Brad Redford may be the recruit that has inspired the most discussion and excitement amongst Xavier fans. Redford is one of the leading candidates for Mr. Basketball in Michigan while averaging just under 40 ppg at Frankenmuth High School. Redford set a Michigan state record this season by hitting 102 consecutive FT's and shot over 46% from behind the arc while displaying some ridiculous range. — Brian Leibforth

GEORGIA BULLDOGS

1. Seriously, They Actually Did That. We'll be talking about what Georgia did during the SEC tournament for years, but dammit, we need to acknowledge again, just so that the fickle hand of Internet history records that we recognized. The Bulldogs won four games during the SEC regular season (they also lost at home on the road to East Tennessee State) ... and then, in the midst of a tornado and TWO GAMES IN THE SAME DAY, they won four during the tourney to clinch a bid. They weren't even particularly hot coming into the tourney; they'd lost five of six and 10 of 12 going into Atlanta.

2. Doin' It For The Coach. As you'd probably expect when your team loses 10 of 12 to finish the season, Georgia fans weren't exactly doing backflips over keeping coach Dennis Felton around. Brought in to clean the program up after Jim Harrick did what Jim Harrick does, Felton was wearing on fans' patience with no tourney appearances in five years. And then this happened. Needless to say, you have to like his odds to return next year.

3. Where Did This Come From? Even more impressive about this run? Georgia lost two of its best players from last year, Takais Brown and Mike Mercer, and the team now has only eight scholarship players. They very well might have been the least likely team on earth to have pulled off two wins in one day, and four in four. Our favorite player, just edging doofy tall white guy Dave Bliss (who is far clunkier than a man with the name "Bliss" should be), is leader Sundiata Gaines, whose first name means "African warrior." We'll be honest: With the Illini finally petering out in the Big Ten final, we're cheering for Georgia to win this whole thing. If they play all six games in one day, they have to be the favorite. — Will Leitch

(And sorry we had the dismissal thing wrong; obviously we wrote this very quickly after they made it yesterday and missed that detail. We apologize.)

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2. Doin' It For The Coach. As you'd probably expect when your team loses 10 of 12 to finish the season, Georgia fans weren't exactly doing backflips over keeping coach Dennis Felton around. Brought in to clean the program up after Jim Harrick did what Jim Harrick does, Felton was wearing on fans' patience with no tourney appearances in five years. And then this happened. Needless to say, you have to like his odds to return next year.

3. Georgia Is All Concerned About Academics All Of A Sudden. Even more impressive about this run? Georgia lost two of its best players from last year, Takais Brown and Mike Mercer, because they didn't qualify academically, and the team now has only eight scholarship players. They very well might have been the least likely team on earth to have pulled off two wins in one day, and four in four. Our favorite player, just edging doofy tall white guy Dave Bliss (who is far clunkier than a man with the name "Bliss" should be), is leader Sundiata Gaines, whose first name means "African warrior." We'll be honest: With the Illini finally petering out in the Big Ten final, we're cheering for Georgia to win this whole thing. If they play all six games in one day, they have to be the favorite. — Will Leitch

As they stand now, the conference tournaments are like the squishy, indeterminate cheese-like substance ensconced in the pretzel shell of the NCAA tournament. (I'm eating Combos, if you haven't noticed.) There's either a delicious hook (like Georgia or Clemson) or the pretzel has practically any "cheese" in the middle, represented in this food metaphor by the Big XII title game. Does it really matter if Kansas beats Texas? Or if Texas beats Kansas? They're both in the top ten, and they're not rivals, so it's not at all that captivating. But if Kansas and Texas played each other right after playing games mere hours earlier in the day? Suddenly it's intriguing.

Like I mentioned yesterday, curlers can play multiple 10-end games in the same day, and baseball players play doubleheaders all the time. Obviously a basketball game is a little more taxing on the body than baseball and curling, but it might not hurt to create some more "madness" in these conference tournaments. Because it's almost 4 p.m. on Sunday, and while there's still conference championships to be doled out, I'm completely checked out on that front and ready for the NCAA tournament.

I'm also completely out of Combos, and this raises further dilemmas.

On a certain level, it makes a modicum of sense. Is it any less a sensible outfit than a leotard?

Georgia Gymnastics Fan Shows Ladies Entire Package [Busted Coverage]

(UPDATE: Actually, the reason they were doing this was quite nice.)

• It's a depressing, sad label, but it's clear Hawaii's Colt Brennan now owns it: The elite club of "system quarterback." Timmy Chang, Andre Ware, David Klingler ... the more the merrier! Georgia-USC would have been the best game, obviously; Illinois-Hawaii might have been fun too.

• The most entertaining game of the day, without question, was the Michigan-Florida game. It seems weird to see Lloyd Carr carried off the field that way, though, like he's Bear Bryant or something. Maybe if he would have coached as balls-out the rest of his Michigan career as he did yesterday, he might have won a few more bowl games.

• Big Ten check-in: 3-4 in their bowl games, with the BCS title game still coming up. Not as bad as you might have feared, but when you consider the Big Ten hasn't won a Rose Bowl in eight years now ... yipes.

• It's possible that Missouri's win yesterday won't push them up in any polls at all; they're not gonna gain on Georgia or USC, and they were already ahead of Hawaii and Illinois. They're probably a preseason top five team, by the way, and they play Illinois (probably a top 15 team) in the season opener.

• After yesterday, we will confess, our fervor for Oklahoma-West Virginia tonight is, well, minimal. We suspect this is normal.

Keith Law, in his personal blog, points out the ridiculousness of a system that rewards a team for spending a season playing inferior competition and then sitting alongside, idle, watching while teams above them lose. (Which is how Ohio State is here.) But we point out the opposite problem. We're not sure we understand why everyone is so insistent — rule or not — that a team win its conference to have an opportunity at the title. We do not do this in any other sport; not even in the supposedly tradition-obsessed world of baseball to we chafe when a wild-card team is playing for the championship. How the BCS can move Virginia Tech ahead of Georgia simply because they beat a slightly above average Boston College team is bewildering. If LSU had lost to Tennessee, would Virginia Tech have moved ahead of Georgia? Oklahoma? According to the BCS standings, they would have ... though hardly any voters would have put them ahead before this weekend's action.

The way this worked out: Ohio State was rewarded for not playing, and Georgia was penalized. And we have the Ohio State-LSU matchup we all would have enjoyed a few weeks ago, back when we were under the misconception that each team was really good.

One Reason I Hate College Football [TheDish]

It was like a bum rush, a whole team streaming onto the field to celebrate an otherwise routine touchdown. It was fun to see a major college football team react as like they were a 12-year-old girls' softball team. And now, sadly, Georgia coach Mark Richt is apologizing.

"Again, I was expecting the eleven players on the field to be doing the celebrating, not for the bench to clear as it did," Richt wrote in his letter to Slive. "I understand that the entire team running on the field created the potential for an altercation and that excessive celebration is not in compliance with the Southeastern Conference sportsmanship policies and expected standards. My only intention was to create enthusiasm."

Bah! Let the freak flag fly, Mark! We think after every touchdown, not only should every player run on the field, but they should do some sort of dance routine. We recommend starting out with "Thriller," and working one's way up from there.

Richt Apologizes For TD Celebration [Atlanta Journal Constitution]