Are you sitting down? Okay.
Are you sitting down? Okay.
Giancarlo Stanton, the finest masher of taters in baseball, won the home run derby last night with a record 61 total home runs. He hit 18 of the 19 longest homers of the evening, and his 61 dingers traveled a total of 5.1 miles.
Last night against the Mets, Marlins slugger Giancarlo Stanton used his last two at-bats of the game to deliver us the gift of two perfectly mashed, picturesque taters. The Marlins played the Mets again this afternoon, and Stanton slapped two more gasp-inducing dingers in his first two at-bats of the game.
How do you like your dingers? Do you like watching the strong man with a bat drive a low hard one that just clears the fence and puts a dang dent in the stadium? Or do you prefer it when the slugger bonks a dong so high into the night sky that it threatens to make contact with alien life? Whatever your tastes are,…
“Giancarlo Stanton, what did that baseball do to you?” muses the Marlins’ color commentator. And, well, given the way the baseball was treated—namely, donged so hard you don’t have time to even think Hey wait I thought he was struggling this year? before it gets out of the park—here are some possibilities:
Giancarlo Stanton’s season has been something of a nightmare. He’s hitting just .197, slugging .426, and his strikeout rate is an astronomically high 35 percent. He recently went through a stretch in which he struck out 17 times in 21 at-bats. It’s been a bad season, okay? It’s bad. Stanton does still have one thing…
The only thing more shocking than how far Giancarlo Stanton hit this baseball is that it somehow didn’t explode immediately upon contact with the bat. The MLB Statcast-measured numbers: 475 feet, 112.8 mph exit velocity, and 5.5 seconds of hangtime:
Clayton Kershaw made Giancarlo Stanton swing and miss with a nasty little curve in the fourth inning to get his seventh strikeout of the evening. Two innings later, Stanton faced Kershaw again and smacked a fastball to the moon so hard that the Dodgers ace fell to his knees on the mound.
Justin Verlander didn’t allow a hit through five innings to the Miami Marlins this evening, but once Miami woke up (presumably because Barry Bonds dispensed a few pieces of sage wisdom), they really started hitting the dogpiss out of the ball.
Yesterday, Florida radio host Craig Mish tweeted something that would have been literally unbelievable had it not involved Barry Bonds.
Giancarlo Stanton has been crushing baseballs all season long, smacking out an MLB-leading 27 homers and driving in an MLB-leading 67 runs. So you can understand everyone’s trepidation when he announced some sort of hand injury suffered during yesterday’s game against the Dodgers. And it looks like a bad one.
Giancarlo Stanton continues smacking baseballs higher and further than us humans deserve. My only reaction to this latest bomb, Stanton’s 26th of the season, is perhaps the highest compliment one man can pay another: It moved.
It’s always fun when an advanced baseball statistic definitively backs up what you see on the field. For example, if you were to watch a few clips of hulking outfielder Giancarlo Stanton mashing taters out of the ballparks of America, you might come away from the experience thinking that nobody else in baseball can…
Look, it doesn’t matter how good Giancarlo Stanton is at hitting home runs. No one’s allowed to eat a Kit Kat like that. That chocolate bar was made to be broken into columns, and instead, Stanton took a big bite out of it (and common decency).
Giancarlo Stanton is featured on this website a lot because we, like all right-thinking humans on earth, enjoy watching him smack the crap out of baseballs. But hey, as it turns out, he can play defense too!
Back in February, Sports Illustrated had a neat cover story on slugger Giancarlo Stanton, his injury last season, and the Miami Marlins’ new strategy of not fielding an embarrassing team. For a minute, the article really convinced the reader that owner Jeffrey Loria cared about his franchise. Stanton even gave a…
Giancarlo Stanton is a very good baseball man. When he hits the ball, often it leaps off of his bat approaching the speed of light, and goes much farther than any tightly wound lump of cork, yarn, and cowhide has any right to go.
Holy crap, Giancarlo Stanton mashed this first inning pitch from Mike Bolsinger out of Dodger Stadium. Not out of the field of play, but out of the entire stadium.
Every Giancarlo Stanton home run is a gift. This can’t be stressed enough. Jeffrey Loria sucks, but whatever. Let’s be thankful that last September, Mike Fiers didn’t give the Marlins slugger a similar fate as Tony Conigliaro.