How a Man Faces His Biggest Failures

I have come nearly 2,400 miles to speak about my failure. The theater is full. The house lights are dark. The spotlights are bright, shining in my eyes. There will be a video posted. Unless the internet goes the way of the floppy disk, anyone will be able to watch for all eternity. » 4/15/14 5:30pm 4/15/14 5:30pm

How the Definition of Love Changes as a Man Ages

The dental hygienist was up to her elbows in my mouth when she started telling me about the upcoming wedding of her son. » 3/05/14 12:48pm 3/05/14 12:48pm

What Rick James Taught Me About Drugs

The basement rec room of the mini-mansion was dim and narrow. Colored light filtered through a stained glass window, illuminating the dust motes in the air, which smelled of sandalwood and something medicinal, like ether. » 2/19/14 2:35pm 2/19/14 2:35pm

When a Man Must Become His Own Boss Man

I was working through my e-mail early Saturday morning when a pair of shadows dancing across the periphery of my desktop monitor interrupted the cacophonous silence of my home office. » 1/28/14 5:11pm 1/28/14 5:11pm

The Uterus Comes With: The Case for Having a Kid to Save a Relationship

The phone vibrates so I pick it up—a text from my younger friend, call him Sherm: Gf left me because I don't want kids. Starting to wonder why I made that decision. Idk. I'm very confused dude. » 1/07/14 1:17pm 1/07/14 1:17pm

As a Man Ages, He Learns That All He Needs for the Holidays Is Family

My mommy is visiting for the holidays. I'm not so good remembering numbers so I always have to do a little math to figure her age. On my birth certificate it says she was 24 when I was born, in Charlottesville, Virginia, having been delivered by my father's professor of obstetrics—at the apple-polishing time of 5:36… » 12/10/13 2:49pm 12/10/13 2:49pm

Be Your Own Best Friend: Why A Man Doesn't Need a Pet

I took the subway on a warm autumn evening from trendy Dupont Circle in Washington, D.C., to the distant Maryland suburbs. As directed, I waited on the street by a line of pay phones. At the appointed time, a couple pulled up in the kind of rumpled and earnest vehicle typically associated with a riotous display of… » 11/26/13 2:03pm 11/26/13 2:03pm

How a Man Should Navigate a Fork In His Career Path

Three weeks into my law school career, I was sitting on the hood of my car in the large parking lot behind my new home, a high-rise apartment building in Arlington, Virginia. It was a hot afternoon, the Friday before Labor Day weekend. Heat eddied off the asphalt; the humid cacophony of insect sounds was in full… » 11/12/13 12:52pm 11/12/13 12:52pm

"The Talk" Is Always Ongoing—No Matter Your Age or Circumstances

Thirty-one stories over Las Vegas, I’m in the Will Smith Suite at Planet Hollywood, my iPhone pressed against a panoramic window. To the west the sun is setting over craggy red mountains; snow is evident on a farther range. Down on the Strip the lights have begun to twinkle; the fountains across the boulevard at the… » 10/22/13 1:37pm 10/22/13 1:37pm

The Game Never Stops Calling, Even When Your Body Won't Answer

I’m parked in a folding chair in a dollhouse of a YWCA gym, sitting on the sideline, wearing my official NBA-logo socks. Voices rise and fall, sneakers squeak, a ball pounds the vintage hardwood floor—the familiar sounds mingle in the stuffy humid air with the smells of floor wax and ammonia and the rising stink of… » 10/11/13 5:05pm 10/11/13 5:05pm

Fatherhood Never Stops Grabbing You By the Balls—Even When Your Nest…

The red second hand travels along the familiar white face of the schoolroom clock in my officetick… tick… tick… audible and inexorable, stopping so diligently at each and every hash mark before moving on to the next, the sound resonating through the gathering quiet of my solitary evening like a steady heartbeat,… » 9/18/13 8:46pm 9/18/13 8:46pm

The Not-So-Little Traveler. A Man Takes One Last Trip With His Son…

Early in the morning, high on a panoramic bluff in Malibu, I’m doing what I almost always do at this time of the day, alternately typing and thinking and looking out the nearest window. The marine layer is still in evidence; the gradually lightening gray-blue clouds meet the gradually lightening blue-gray ocean… » 9/17/13 7:19pm 9/17/13 7:19pm

When Should A Man Stop Smoking Weed? Never

I am nosing my car into a parking space in a mini–strip mall, as directed by the text message I’d received earlier, when a car pulls up behind me, blocking my retreat. » 9/03/13 6:05pm 9/03/13 6:05pm

Happy F@#%&^$ Birthday: The Things A Man Learns As He Grows Older

I remember always wanting a horse. Being six, seven, eight years old, wearing my cowboy hat and boots and a pair of mini­–six shooters, the holster’s rawhide anchor straps chafing my thighs. “Happy Birthday” is sung. My dad is a veteran of glee clubs; he loves to harmonize. Happy birth-day to youuuuuuuuu. And then my… » 8/28/13 9:41am 8/28/13 9:41am