It's been a wild ride this past month, hasn't it? Let's take one last look at the goals from the third-place and final games of the World Cup with some assistance from music that isn't even close to being culturally sensitive.
Before our first semifinal match today, let's look back on the weekend's action with all the goals scored to music that might offend the more culturally sensitive among you. Enjoy.
Two hard-fought games today. Paraguay bested Japan on PKs and Spain grinded out a 1-0 victory over Portugal. Grinded, schminded. Let's relive the "ese" countries' ousters with goal videos wrapped in a tight layer of cultural insensitivity. To the tape!
The Netherlands and Brazil did what we expected yesterday and dominated Slovakia and Chile, respectively, each side managing a handful of very fancy goals. But fancy, schmancy. Their athletic prowess is no match for our cultural ignorance. Let's go to the video.
The U.S. and England bowed out of the tournament this weekend, while Germany and Argentina showed they might be the two best squads left. Exciting as it was, everyone seemed to act sensitively—in regards to culture, that is. No more!
And with that, the Round of 16 is set. Spain salsa'd its way to the second round behind the mighty leg of David Villa and the Ivory Coast tried its damnedest to hang seven on the Bad Korea but came up short.
The Round of 16 is three-fourths finalized after today's action. The Dutch squad had two marvelous scores, and Slovakia knocked Italy out of the competition to just about everyone's relief. It was all quite exciting. But was it culturally insensitive?
What a day, what a day. The U.S. advanced, but so did Germany and England. Australia put in a valiant effort and had two highlight-reel goals that will be ignored because of Landon Donovan's stunner.
The knockout stages are a little clearer after today, with four teams moving on. Nigeria's Kalu Uche probably had the nicest goal, but the Super Eagles knocked out after its draw with the Good Korea.
What a weekend: New Zealand played Italy to a draw; Luis Fabiano got away with two handballs; and Denmark scored a pair of beauties. But how would these moments look when scored to music betraying a distinct lack of cultural sensitivity?
Yesterday was a fantastic day. The U.S. played in the most exciting — and controversial — game of the tournament, perhaps creating some new soccer junkies in the process.
Today offered a smorgasbord of goals. A hat trick by Gonzolo Higuain was the day's highlight, and the streets of France will be littered with the burned effigies of referees after a non-offside call led to Javier Hernandez's score.
Day 6 saw a huge upset with the Swiss defeating Spain and Uruguay's Diego Forlan putting two away against an overmatched South Africa. Pretty goals, lucky goals — they're all here to be enhanced with some good old-fashioned cultural insensitivity.
Lots of good ones today. The Brazilian goals were nonchalant and North Korea — the Bad Korea — scored on The Selection on a really nice play. Top honors must go to New Zealand's Winston Reid for his stoppage-time equalizer.
Lots of exciting goals today — Japan's Keisuke Honda scoring off of a nice cross and Italy's Daniele De Rossi off a corner kick especially — but let's look at all of them in a culturally insensitive manner.
Last time around, we didn't have that many goals and thus only a few chances to express woeful ignorance about other countries' cultures. This time? Eleven goals over six games. So let's get stupid.