Those of you who were around a year ago will remember the rather extended hullabaloo about the book's initial release. There will be less of that this time around, and for that, you're welcome. In fact, all you have to do is make it through this post.

But, Will, you ask: Didn't we just do this? Isn't this the same book? Well, no, not really, and no, not really. But let's just head into the questions I'm now asking of myself.

I bought your book last year. Why should I buy this?

Because Deadspin has always been free. But more to the point: Because there's new stuff. Included in this new version are essays on Shaquille O'Neal, Erin Andrews, Matt Leinart, A Bunch Of Stuff That Happened Since The Last Version and, perhaps most of interest, a big long honking 10-page essay on that "Costas Now" business.

Does it tell us stuff we didn't already know?

Yes.

About Buzz?

Actually, more about Costas. Stuff from outside the show.

Are you being coy for any particular reason?

No, not really. I do think the essay's pretty good, though.

It seems the title has changed. Why?

Because no one actually read to the end of the last one. And because Michael Vick is boring now.

Is the book still racist?

It's a little less racist now. I'd go with six percent less.

How much new material is there?

It comes out to about 40 new pages. Which isn't bad, actually. Also, I updated a bunch of stuff from the first version. Roger Clemens got a nice little re-edit. I don't like calling it a "re-edit" though. I prefer "digitally remastered."

Forty new pages? And updates from the last version? I'd expect to pay twice as much for this as I did the last one.

You'd think so, right? Well then you're never gonna believe this. It's actually cheaper than the last version. It's only $11.69 on Amazon.

$11.69?

I know, right? We're PRACTICALLY GIVING IT AWAY.

You're not having a big long book tour like last time, are you? Because that was really obnoxious.

Naw, it's a paperback, no need to roll the thing out again. Besides, spending a month-and-a-half on the road made me gain about 10 pounds, and I'm not going through that again. I am, however, doing a reading this Thursday night as a part of Gelf Magazine's reading series. David Harris and Jon Wertheim will be there as well.

I don't like to click links. When and where is that again?

New York City, you lazy ass.

Happy Ending Lounge (official site, CitySearch, MySpace)
302 Broome St.
(between Forsyth and Eldridge)
212-334-9676
J/M/Z/F to Delancey
B/D to Grand Street
Look for the hot-pink awning with the words "Health Club" on it.

Doors open at 7:30.
Readings start at 8 sharp.

You just cut and pasted that, didn't you?

I did. But I will be reading material from the new version.

Anything else?

I'm working on another book now too, but it'll be a while until it comes out, so, I promise, I won't make you go through this again for a long while.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Anyway, yeah, our reading in Milwaukee is this Thursday night, and we're all going out for booze afterwards. Here are the details:

Thursday, May 08, 2008
07:00 PM
HARRY W. SCHWARTZ BOOKSHOP
17145 W. Bluemound Road Brookfield, WI 53005

We'll be at the Cardinals-Brewers games Friday and Saturday, but the goal Thursday is drinking and, uh, OK, fine, selling books. So come one, come all. It's the City Of Festivals!

God Save The Fan [HarperCollins]
God Save The Fan [Amazon]

We look forward to being welcome to the city by new Bucks general manager William Simmons. And if you don't think our appearance has anything to do with the fact that the Cardinals are in town that weekend, well, come on, obviously it is.

Here are the details.

Thursday, May 08, 2008
07:00 PM
HARRY W. SCHWARTZ BOOKSHOP
17145 W. Bluemound Road Brookfield, WI 53005

That's a pretty cool bookstore, too.

So hello, Milwaukee! And stay tuned, Cleveland, Atlanta and "somewhere in Texas!"

God Save The Fan Info [HarperCollins]
God Save The Fan Tour [Deadspin]

We enjoy the above photo; it captures the exact face we're going for when we attempt the John Rocker voice. It's the closest we can come to approximating this:

So, alas, the tour ends with a bunch of drunk people sitting at a bar with bocce, watching the Obama-Clinton debate with the sound off. Sounds great to us. Thanks for everyone who came out at all the stops; we couldn't possibly have had more fun.

Here are the details on the reading, in about half an hour:

7:00 PM
BOOK COURT
163 Court St. Brooklyn, NY 11201

That's right here. As of yesterday, Book Court, a charming but occasionally threadbare independent bookstore, did not actually have the book in stock, so, you know, cross your fingers.

Last stop, kids, and then these posts will finally end. See you there.

As always, we had a grand time last night, and it was fun to have a mixture of off-site friends and Deadspin folk meet up afterwards. (It's like when a friend from high school meets a friend from college.) Afterwards, we hit a bar called The Patriot, which played Merle Haggard at extremely high decibels. Tough to beat that.

Anyway, thanks, Manhattan. Next stop, tonight, to wrap this puppy up, Brooklyn!

To remind, here are the details:

BARNES & NOBLE
7 p.m.
270 Greenwich ST New York, NY 10007

When we're done, we're heading to The Patriot Saloon, because we're told there are bartenders there who wear tassels. We'll be wearing those anyway, so we will want to be among our own. We shall see you there.

Tonight, we're in Lower Manhattan, most famous as the section of town that the Cloverfield monster ravages toward the end of the movie, before he takes down the helicopter. Here are the details:

07:00 PM
BARNES & NOBLE
270 Greenwich ST New York, NY 10007

That's right here. (Take the 1,2,3,A or C to Chambers Street. We're on Greenwich and Warren. This is also the bookstore where we stalked Dennis Rodman about two-and-a-half years ago.)

We'll be going out afterwards, somewhere in the neighborhood, and we'll remind you of this later tonight, because, well, it's one of our last two readings and it might be fun.

Barnes And Noble, Tribeca [Google Maps]

(Correction: That's not the same book store we stalked Rodman. Boy, do we know our city well. Sorry.)

Turns out, yesterday some sad soul on the East Coast decided to commit suicide by jumping in front of an Amtrak train. This forced all trains to run about two hours late. This was described to passengers as a "track obstruction." If this guy knew that his life's epitaph would be a "track obstruction," he probably would have killed himself all over again.

So anyway, we finally arrived to a surprisingly formidable crowd, but we did our thing and then drank too much afterwards, which is why the site's going to suck today. (Hey. It's a Friday.) And thus ends the first leg of this endless, awesome tour. We're back in NYC next week for two readings, and then we're taking a freaking vacation so we can see people's faces rather than just a shifting unfocused flipshow of vague images.

So, thanks, Washington, D.C. Next stop: New York City!

So, if you're in the DC area, get out there tonight. You will be able to meet probably every sports blogger on earth. (Seriously, what is it about the Potomac that lends itself to such basement-dwelling?) Here are the details:

07:00 PM
BARNES & NOBLE/Georgetown
3040 M ST NW Washington, DC 20007

We actually slept a little bit last night, so we'll be ready to rock. The after party is just down the street. So let's finish this up the right way. See you there.

We'd never played Rock Band before, and we are, without question, lousy at it. But man, it was fun. We are so glad they didn't have Rock Band when we were in college; we barely graduated as is.

But it was a grand turnout in Philly — the East Coast is packin' 'em in, apparently; we're guessing it's the cold — and Daulerio The Balls even made an appearance. You can see pictures right here.

Anyway, thanks, Philadelphia! Next stop: Washington, D.C.!

We're on campus at Penn. Ack! Smart people!

7 p.m.
BARNES & NOBLE COLLEGE BOOKSTORES
UPENN Bookstore
3601 Walnut Street
Philadelphia, PA 19104

And yes, The Balls will be there. And we're all drinking afterwards. You really have no excuse, Philadelphia. See you there.

Sign Language Woman: So, I've never signed the words "uncircumcised penis" before.
Us: Happy to help.

We had perhaps our biggest crowd yet last night, so we must thank Bostonians for their welcoming nature and solid dollops of good cheer. We had a grand time at Game On afterwards, right there smack in the middle of Fenway Park, and we couldn't have been more impressed by how nice everyone was. Though we couldn't help but be disappointed that Supermike didn't show up. Everyone was asking about him.

You can see pictures right here.

Anyway, thanks, Boston! Next stop: Philadelphia!

The last leg of our tour, the East Coast dead sprint, begins tonight at Boston University. It's right here:

7:00 PM
BARNES & NOBLE COLLEGE BOOKSTORES
Boston University #480 660 Beacon ST Boston, MA 02215

We love the city of Boston and couldn't be excited to paint the town Cardinal Red tonight. After the reading, we'll be hitting a nightspot to be announced at the reading. (Though we suspect this SUPER SECRET LOCALE will be revealed in the comments in about 45 seconds.) It's not the Mattoon mall, but heck, what is?

We look forward to seeing you there. You too, Supermike.

Anyway, we think we're the first reading in Mattoon since the last time we read there. But our eighth grade advanced english teacher showed up, which succeeded in making us feel so, so old.

But yes: Goodbye, Midwest, and thanks, Mattoon! Next stop: Boston!

Considering the reading was on Valentine's Day in the suburbs, we had a pretty solid crowd, all told, and we even got to talk obsessively about Rick Ankiel with people who actually understood. (Kind of.) And it allowed us to do the site today mere yards away from the Gateway Arch, and that's always a positive.

But anyway: Thanks, St. Peters. Next stop: Mattoon!

(Photos by Christine Linton.)

Yep, tonight, the God Save The Fan Tour his St. Peter's, Missouri, which is a suburb outside of St. Louis. We would listen to your "why the suburbs?" comments, like in Oak Brook, if we didn't know that, all told, you're a lot better off in the 'burbs of St. Louis after dark when it's not baseball season. And, obviously: All Cardinals fans are guaranteed long-winded stories about Willie McGee and Mike Laga.

The details:

Thursday, February 14, 2008
07:00 PM
BARNES & NOBLE
320 Mid-Rivers Center Drive St. Peters, MO 63376

No afterparty on this one, we're afraid, but it's the perfect way to spend the roughest holiday of the year, whether you're single or not. It will be like bottled romance, except not tequila. Happy V-Day, Cardinals fans! See you there.

We're With You, Emo [Riverfront Times]

Now that we're done recapping that, let's get into some brief Big Ten news. First, as you might have heard, Indiana basketball is about to be smacked with some serious recruiting allegations. We'd take more glee in that if we didn't have a pretty solid feeling that the same thing's gonna happen to our Illini football team in a couple of years.

But more to the point ... we learned that they don't have the Big Ten Network ... on campus! Do you realize how insane that is? Actual real, live students were unable to watch the Illini's win over Minnesota last night ... unless they went to a bar. Which, of course, is exactly what your institute of higher learning should be encouraging you to do. They're even fed up with it at Indiana.

We cannot overstate how idiotic that is. We are still shaking our head. Amazing.

Anyway, thanks, Champaign. Next stop: St. Louis!

Seriously, we're gonna be at the Illini Union Bookstore.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008
04:00 PM
ILLINI UNION BOOKSTORE/University of Illinois
809 S Wright Street Champaign, IL 61820

It's like when fellow alums Dave Eggers, Roger Simon or Roger Ebert come to read, except so, so much worse.